These Little Moments Guest Post: This Is Married Life

I guest posted for Molly over at These Little Moments today, and since I hid the post at the end of my posts on That Bride (sneaky of me to post it for October 2007 wasn’t it? I wrote it a few days before she posted it and wanted to keep it a secret until then) I thought it would be very relevant to post it here and give you all an idea of how married life began for us.

I got married a few weeks ago, and as I am sure Molly will come back and report about her own wedding day, the day was Mary Poppins perfect (you know, practically perfect in every way). I’m not naive, I know that it was only perfect because I ripped my hair out planning everything down to the last detail. I even took apart my shoes and glued a button on them because I convinced myself I need just one. more. project.

Here we are awkwardly crouching in the woods and kissing on the wedding day during our over-planned “first look” moment.

You want to know what I didn’t plan for? Real life.

That Husband was living in Dallas without me during the time of our engagement so I had no idea what I would be moving down to find. Our first night at “home” as a married couple did not turn out the way I had planned. There was no carrying the fair maiden over the threshold and welcoming her to the new abode.

There were dirty dishes. Dirty dishes that were 2 weeks old.


And worst of all, no bed. Sleepover time was not quite as fun as when I was 12. Sometimes in the middle of the night I reached my arm over my head just to make sure he was still there. Maybe I was just dreaming that we ended up getting married?

That was our first night together at home, the next morning we got up and started moving from the slightly trashed 1 bedroom apartment to a 2 bedroom apartment in the same complex. We didn’t even fight one time (I had anticipated we would fight at least twice) and our mattress was delivered as promised so things were looking up.Then we went to bed and woke up to find ants. Ants in my pants. Literally. And in the sheets, and on the pillow, and crawling all over us. We flicked them off and pinched them between our fingers and washed them off of our clothes and down the drain.

We ordered a gas dryer for an apartment that only supports electric appliances. Rookie mistake. I’m blogging from the business center because the internet won’t be set up in our new apartment until sometime next week. I lost one of my wedding bands in the move. [Editors Note: The band has since been found! Hooray for unpacking. Also we finally have the wireless hooked up at home so I am able to blog from the couch again.]

Married life is hard. I’m 11 days in and it’s already tough. But having that one person to share everything with is so worth it. We are one, in every sense of the word. We have never shared our beds with each other before this, and there are few things better than reaching for his hand at 3 AM. Or the way it sounds when he calls me wife.

21 thoughts on “These Little Moments Guest Post: This Is Married Life

  1. What’s up with the ants? Is your new apt infested? Yuk!

    Will you pretty please post a pic of both of you wearing your rings. I’m dying to see what yours look like on you! They’re so unique!

  2. Living with someone for the first time can be an adjustment. I never leaved with anyone but my hubby. We lived together before the wedding but still it took some getting used to for me. But I love coming home to him.

  3. Ha! Now I know that at least some of my fears about moving in together (after marriage of course!) will be somewhat founded. Agh, I can’t believe the two weeks old dishes/ants, etc. That stinks 🙁 But it can all be fixed, so it’s all ok. Please keep the “this is married life” posts coming as well, I’m loving this and I’m going to need a reference in a few years!

    Also, I think you’ll understand when I say I can’t WAIT for 3am moments. Instead of 10pm goodnight in the freezing cold outside my car moments! 🙂

  4. upturned.barbie I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the freezing cold outside my care moments. So glad those are over.

    erica-I will definitely try and dig one up out of our pro-pics for you. If not, I’ll see if the mr. even knows where his is. I don’t think he likes it very much 🙁

  5. Haha…..I laughed really hard because this all sounds very familiar. We got married last month and I’m only now starting to feel like I have the house situation more under control. My husband took a new job and moved 6 hours away right after we got engaged. I was only able to come down for a few visits during that time. Luckily, I visited a few weeks before the wedding (and moved a lot of my stuff down then) and when I walked in the door…I cried. It was such a mess! And he had said he cleaned! The kitchen was a mess with things growing and just boxes and boxes of junk that he had never unpacked from 6 months ago. I spent a few extra days visiting and moving my things in and cleaning and cleaning some more. I made him promise to leave it exactly the same way for the week and a half before he came up for the wedding. And just to make sure, I sent his sister to visit and check things out for me the day before he left. Because I knew I didn’t want to be that upset again after coming to my new home after the honeymoon.
    But I totally feel for you! Hopefully things get better and you’re able to feel like you have it under control soon. It gets a lot more fun when you’re decorating and making it homey. Good luck!

  6. i always imagined what it would be like to not live w/ someone & then marry them – i cannot even IMAGINE it (though i totally respect the choice in every way). i would have never made it through a marriage without living w/ people first… it is such a HUGE adjustment period and you find out so many little details. i really give girls props that live apart until marriage – to me it takes a lot more strength, patience, and grace! <3

    i can’t wait to read your “wife” blog! how exciting… *dances*

  7. I loved this post!! So much fun living with someone…3 years later and I still find dishes in random places after Clay is finished with them…in his car, in living room, under blanket, in backpack…such is life and its so worth it!! 🙂

  8. Hurrah for finding the lost wedding band! 🙂

    Does that Husband do anything weird in his sleep?
    My DH talks and snores. I click my retainers, which is weird because I have to pull them out with my hands when I’m awake. Apparently the other night as DH was coming to bed I reached over (while I was sleeping) and grabbed his hand and squeezed it. I have no recollection of this, but I think it’s terribly cute!

  9. I didn’t carried over the threshold either and my in laws drank up my fancy Italian champagne – talk about leaving an imprint, my walls had scuffs on them…who’s gonna clean them up? Me.

    Real life is a harsh pill to swallow after marriage but alas we choose our guys, their friends and families are the “benefits” for the most part.

  10. I LOVE that there were ants in your bed. It is like something out of a movie, and tell that Husband 2 week old dishes are NASTY. In my head he is a clean boy.

  11. We lived together before the wedding (he is the only one I’ve ever lived with though), but our first night as a married couple… we had his sister and his cousin sleeping in the living room. Family came to pick them up to drive back at 2 different times.
    I had to wake up his cousin at 6am and when his stupid brother came to pick up his sister 3 hours later, he knocked on our door. It woke me up, I walked out of the bedroom, wrapped in a robe, and if eyes could kill… I was so mad at him. I wanted to sleep!
    For our family ceremony this year, my cousin is likely to sleep in the next bedroom… But I told Hubby he better carry me over the threshold this time 😉

    Oh and yes, living with someone for the first time is an adjustment. Talk about learning to compromise like you will with him all your life. Who cleans what, who does what? It’s the little everyday things that make a marriage work or not. But as long as you discuss things.
    I love that I can snuggle against him if I wake up in the middle of the night, no need for sleeping pills! And I love sharing the little things like cooking or even doing the dishes together… It’s just nice to share.

  12. Jenna you crack me up!! I had no idea about the ants…I must hear the rest of this story (was it due to the nasty dishes?)

    P and I have been together for 10 years, sharing a home and bank account for 3, and just bought our first piece of real estate together. I’m actually a bit sad that we knocked out all of these milestones pre-wedding…


  13. abigail-Long distance engagement is no fun. Good calling on sending someone to scout out the situation for you

    claysjenna-Glad you find it entertaining, and not annoying

    Bean-Well I hate snuggling when I am awake, but I guess at random times I try to reach over and smother TH! I guess I am a “cuddly sleeper” after all.

    Big Shot-Please do! I really love your writing.

    Single Girl-Well he is usually clean. Weddings are a stressful time, you know? He’s out earning the big dollars, so I will cut him a break.

    Cecy-We had lots of discussions about what would be delegated to who. He works full time, and I do not, which leaves the house up to me, but I still make him take out the garbage 🙂

    michelle-No, the ants were in the NEW apartment. How stupid is that?

  14. Although I just discovered your blog (ok, all of them…), and my wedding has also come and gone at lightning speed, I really enjoy reading your past and current adventures!

    Happy married life!!!

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