The night before the surgery I was up late, a product of my nervousness and screwed up sleep schedule. I wasn’t actually nervous about the surgery, just the needle they would put in my hand for the IV.

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Gotta get my last minute blogging done!

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No contacts, no glasses, no jewelry, no makeup, no valuables, my crocs, and my Enders game/Dashboard Confessional sweatsuit.

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That Husband took the day off (well, maybe he “worked from home” I’m still not sure). I told him he had to be there in case I died. I knew I wouldn’t actually die, and he knew that too, but it’s always a possibility when you have surgery, you know? I’m a fan of facing reality head on.

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All smiles, even with that nasty IV in my arm. I think it’s because I might have been thinking that going braless, in a backless hospital gown, with no makeup and a green cap on my head was a good look for me. What say you?

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Right before they wheeled me away, the Dr. came in to talk to us and answer any last minute questions. Too bad he didn’t realize that it would be a 15 minute visit with That Mom around. I really liked his answer for what he expected to find when he opened me up and looked at the disc. He asked if we had ever seen a tire run so bald that the outer lining had cracked and the inner tube was poking through. He was going to open up my back, move aside some ligament and bone, and snip off that “inner tube” poking out, and then stitch things up as best he could. As had been explained to me many times before a Discectomy is not performed to “fix” the bad disc, just to alleviate the pain I was having due to the “inner tube” pushing on my  nerve.

The operation went well (as far as I know) and when I got back I was apparently in a contemplative mood. What could I have been considering…

But look how well I was doing just moments after awaking from the anesthesia.

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Oh wait, maybe not that well.

Man, this picture makes me laugh out loud every time I look at it.

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This one too. I must have lain funny on my cheek causing it to feel a little bit swollen. Pointing this out was of the utmost importance.

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And one more. Good thing that hot guy sitting across from me was already stuck with  me or he may have been reconsidering things at this point.

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Once I stopped scratching and slobbering it was time for the pain chart. If you would like to read a heee-lareeous story about the pain chart, head over to my friend Darci’s blog.

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Awww look at that lower lip poking out. This was a tough choice for me! I went with a 7.

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What was the first thing I asked for? A kiss from my husband? A drink of water? Nope, the crackberry. I sent my first post-surgery tweet as soon as I could type one out.

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Clothes on, crackberry in hand, smile on face, juice in belly. I think it’s time to scram!

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In my first post back after the surgery I hinted that the diagnosis post-surgery was even worse than the news before. TH and TM filled me in on what the Dr. told them while I was drooling in the recovery room. Remember the inner tube poking out of a tiny crack? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha. I go big or go home my friends. Who needs a crack when you can have an entire broken back wall? That’s right my friends, I basically have a big doggie door of a back wall, allowing the inner tube to squeeze on out.

For right now, things seem to be A-Ok. The leg pain that drove me to have the surgery hasn’t made an appearance yet (the surgery doesn’t come with any kind of guarantee that a positive result will be seen so I’ve been wary), and I’m hoping that the back pain I’m feeling now will go away in a week or two.

Unfortunately the doggie door diagnosis has larger implications for the future. The chances of me avoiding another surgery in the future seem slim, and the next one will involve removing the disc completely and fusing the spine. We pray that this doesn’t happen, but it’s a distinct possibility. I have a nasty, old, broken disc.

I left the hospital with a diaper patch on my lower back for a whole week. It was only after the week was over that I learned it was unnecessary to wear it for so long. I didn’t mind so much since it gave me an excuse to only shower two times in seven days. That’s a record even for me!

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When I did shower I wore this fun little Aqua Guard. Aren’t these a genius idea? It had adhesive around the edges that didn’t sting when it was taken off. Those are the kind of scientific breakthroughs I can appreciate.

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I wanted to show you a really nasty photo of my scar, but this is the best I can do. Is this gross? Should I have hidden this behind another photo? I didn’t think it was that bad.

Isn’t that tape induced border sweet?

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I apologize to those of you who may have been overwhelmed or grossed out by this photo. It won’t happen again until the next back surgery. Or until I have children.

For the first week I was told to lift nothing more than 8 lbs, sit for no longer than 10 minutes at a time, and generally avoid anythin that made me say “ouch”. I was up on my feet within a few days, but only for about an hour each day. A week later my back feels sore when I sit for too long, stand for too long, or lay down for too long. I’m hoping this goes away soon.

I’m glad it’s over.

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