That Husband sat me down on the couch for Family Cow (aka Family Council, a time where we sit down together and talk about schedules, different problems we are facing, etc). He had warned me that we would be discussing some difficult topics and I tried to prep myself because I knew what two of them would be: School and Weight.
School discussion time was painful, since I hadn’t done anything in weeks. But the next topic, my weight, was even worse. I don’t like to feel like I’m failing at something, and losing weight is a constant battle for me. It’s a slow, long process that requires constant dedication that I don’t always feel like I have time to give. But right after my surgery while I was still in the recovery room my surgeon sat down with That Husband and told him that if I didn’t strengthen my core and lose some weight my chances of a spinal fusion were very high.
“What are we doing to do about your weight?” He asked me.
And instead of reacting defensively, asking “What do you mean we? This is my body!”, I paused and thought about how my weight affects him. I subscribe to the belief that men are hard wired to place more emphasis on physical appearance in romantic relationships than women, and losing weight could help us grow closer together. He would be more attracted to me, and I would feel more comfortable about my appearance. A WIN-WIN for both of us. But even more important than appearance and comfort is my health and the future of my health. A spinal fusion is the last thing I want, and if there is anything I can do to prevent that, I need to be giving it everything I have.
So we sat down together on the couch and worked out a plan. I twisted my hair around my fingers, stared off in the opposite direction, leaned in close so I didn’t have to look him in the eyes. I was willing to work something out but I wasn’t going to make it easy for him. My dear sweet husband put up with all of this, worked to break down the barriers I was fighting so hard to put up and together we worked out a plan for how I was going to lose weight. (Calorie counting, the BodyBugg, and daily reports to him were what we decided on.)
We did it together because when I decided to get married I joined my fate with his. My ups and downs are forever going to be shared with him, and if there is anything I can do to increase the ups and prevent the downs I’m going to do it.