Not The Time To Start Indulging

Judging pregnant women for their dietary choices is a fun national past time that I’m sure we can all admit to indulging in at one point. After all, with most areas of motherhood there is little proof that one method of child rearing is more effective than any other. Spanking? I was spanked as a child and don’t feel I have any issues because of it. Bribing? Though recommended against by most experts, the majority of parents use it out of exasperation and their kids turn into functional human beings at some point. But many of the dos and don’ts of a pregnant woman’s diet are regarded as fact, with lines never to be crossed. Though I certainly am not advocating for the intake of caffeine or alcohol during pregnancy (I avoid both whether I am pregnant or not), as the author of this article points out, the science behind the restrictions on a  (singular) cup of coffee or a glass of wine after the first trimester, really isn’t as strong as we might initially believe. And yet few pregnant women enjoy their time spent at Starbucks, even if they are sipping on a hot chocolate or creme frappuccino, because those who “know” the facts about what is best during pregnancy are sending looks of judgement their way. Not an experience anyone wants to have after paying $5 for 12 ounces of liquid.

Even if I did drink coffee or wine I think I probably would have abstained during my pregnancy. Better safe than sorry when it comes to those two substances I think! I admit to eating frozen yogurt while pregnant (although I’m a bit hesitant about this one as I’ve read more into the reasons behind it and I do believe that most machines I’m using to dispense my treat are quite filthy and germ infested), eating deli meat that I judged to be fresh, and indulging in all of the pasteurized soft cheese I wanted over Christmas. Be proactive about your own healthcare! Learn why the guidelines are in place! Drink a glass of wine if you don’t feel like the research you’ve done has proven the side effects you’ve been told are a guarantee. Blah, blah blah, you’ve come to expect this kind of talk from me.

Source

What boggles my mind is that we will turn to one pregnant woman and judge her for having a glass of wine or a cup of coffee, and then turn to the next and encourage her in her efforts to down a slice of chocolate cake as big as her head. “You deserve it!”, the masses purr in the chocolate cake eaters ear, even though excessive amounts of both chocolate cake and a cup of coffee can be harmful to both the body of the woman and her baby. Eating junk is a bad idea pretty much always, but why would we want to be a part of galvanizing a pregnant woman into indulging even more often than normal when she is feeding both herself and her baby whatever crosses her lips for 40 weeks?

I admit to goading this response on a bit as I find it fascinating. I tweet  ”I want to make no bake cookies. Husband accuses me of taking things a bit too far now that I know I don’t gave GD. I plead the fifth.”*, and I receive several replies telling me to indulge because I’m pregnant. This is not an isolated occurrence either. Once your pregnancy is public any comment about desiring an indulgent treat is sure to elicit reactions along similar lines. Why are we encouraging this, ever? If your sick friend or your overweight friend were to express the same desires would you be telling them to “live it up” as well?

The best response I receive to the tweet above came from reader Cécy: “Good to hear you’ve got the thumbs up. You could make cookies, eat one and give out the rest in celebration.” Maybe the difference between her and other commenters is that she is French? Whatever it is, I think Cécy has the right idea. Cécy is the kind of friend I’d like to have around post baby too, as encouragement like hers would likely mean I reach my post-pregnancy weight and health goals much faster, thus ensuring the timely return of the positive thoughts surrounding my body image. I want that so much more than I want a batch of no bake cookies!

Instead of encouraging indulgence or forbidding altogether, let’s encourage moderation in all things. I know of no diet that suggests nachos, doughnuts, burritos swimming in grease, fast food, chocolate cake, cookies, ice cream, or any other food commonly regarded as “junk” to be a good idea. When your pregnant friend suggests the lava chocolate ice cream hot fudge indulgence when you are out to eat, suggest she split it with you (wouldn’t you suggest that very thing if she weren’t pregnant?) instead of laughing and telling her to order all of the dessert she wants since she is on the Pregnancy Diet. When she talks about wanting chocolate and ice cream for breakfast lunch and dinner, commiserate by sharing your own cravings and praise her for doing such a wonderful job of growing a fetus inside her belly, don’t galvanize her efforts to indulge in something she and her sweet baby most certainly don’t need.

Let’s support each other, whether pregnant or not, in our efforts to be healthier, and thus happier. It’s possible that the indulgence now could cause your child problems farther down the road, something I am sure we all would like to avoid.

And if you can’t thing of a single thing to say that doesn’t sound like a judgment, raise your eyebrows, purse your lips together and say “mmmmmmm”. But let’s stop with the facilitating.

*Yes! I don’t have GD. I’ll write all about my midwife appointment (and all of the stuff I did to prepare for the test) this week.

96 thoughts on “Not The Time To Start Indulging

  1. I am so with you. I’ve been told by countless people that now is the time to indulge. But I have to tell you, I don’t even really want to!

    Yes, I’m hungry more often, but when I am, I try to eat smart choices. Do I have some ice cream or cookies on occassion? Sure. But I don’t have 10!

    My goal has been to gain weight at a healthy and steady pace and I think I’m achieving that thus far.

    And I allow myself one chai a week, which I started in the 2nd trimester.

  2. “And if you can’t thing of a single thing to say that doesn’t sound like a judgment, raise your eyebrows, purse your lips together and say “mmmmmmm”. But let’s stop with the facilitating.”
    That screams of judgement to me. :-/

    While I agree with you that we shouldn’t encourage pregnant women (or anyone!) to overindulge in junk, this post makes me a bit sick because it seems to be the result of a subculture where food is a problem rather than a resource and everyone feels free to not only judge each other but also tell others what to do. As adults, pregnant women should determine for themselves how to eat reasonably.

    I would never tell a friend that she should split her desert with me because that seems oh-so-condescending and implies that she is not able to make her own food choices. It is one thing if you have specifically asked your husband for help keeping you on track, but quite another for other people to feel the need to question you.

    Jenna, I hope that I would never question you about something like indulging in full fat mayonnaise because you thought it was appropriate to have the extra fat when pregnant, and I really hope that you won’t question your friends when they choose cookies (which just so happen to be my indulgence of choice). It is one thing to provide more information, but quite another to act as if one’s friends are children.

    But who really cares about all that when there is great news? Yay for not having GD!

    Ellie Reply:

    I think what Jenna meant about splitting desserts is that if your friend is saying, “I want the chocolate cake, but I’m not sure that I want the whole thing”, suggest that you split it – which is, in fact, what I do all the time with my friends – but Jenna is right – if my friend is pregnant, I would have said, “It’s fine, you’re eating for TWO!”
    The thing that I do try to do is encourage my friends to not feel guilty about their food choices – when my boss was pregnant, she developed a strategy to order whatever food sounded good to her. One lunch, she ordered three meals because they all sounded good. Then she only ate 1/4th of each meal, and kept the rest for leftovers. I thought it was a good (although not economically sound) way to deal with her cravings, nausea, and hormones.

    R Reply:

    That makes a lot more sense. Thanks!

    Jenna Reply:

    Gah! I obviously need to only put up posts like this when I can sit at my computer all day and reply quickly to comments to help clarify things. Maybe I should set up a group who will help proofread my posts before I put them up so I get a better idea what areas are going to get picked apart or misunderstood ;) (sometimes I have no idea where the discussion is going to go!)

    Thanks for helping me out here though because you’re exactly right. I guess my point was, when we are all non-pregnant we sit around encouraging each other in our goals. When I’m out at lunch with my friends who know me best and know that I’m trying to be healthy and I’m thinking about dessert, they will either say “Are you sure you want to get that? You’ve been working so hard!” or sometimes “I think I’d love a few bites as well.” But for some reason as soon as I get knocked up I hear lots of comments about deserving treats and eating for two!

    It gets tough when people are feeling sick and nothing sounds good, I certainly ate lots of popsicles during the first trimester (which I haven’t touched since then) but when we are surrounded by people who are encouraging us to indulge because of our “situation” I think we are making choices that are much worse than we would have otherwise.

    kay Reply:

    If my friend asked me to split my dessert with her, I would probably punch her in the face at this point.

    :)

    Jenna Reply:

    Hopefully this can be understood in the context of “I’m out with my best friend and the waiter comes by and asks if we want dessert and we look at each other and say we would love to get a slice of cake to split, like we often do”. I can’t be the only person who has friendships like that, right? My writing never seems to convey exactly what I meant, which is stop telling women to eat whatever they want because they are pregnant, treat them the same way you did before.

    Cristin Reply:

    Jenna, I don’t think anyone’s writing can ever convey exactly what the author meant to every reader. We’re all open to interpretation, based on our experiences. This post made SO much sense to me, particularly in the lens of your earlier posts about TH encouraging you to meet your own goals with food and weight. That one got torn apart too, but you are right to suggest we can help friends hold themselves accountable.

    I wish my husband would help me meet my own food goals, but he’s always telling me I look great instead of hearing that I’m talking about nutrients and vitamins… not calories! An accountability partner is a great way to manage health.

  3. I’m so glad you wrote this, because it has befuddled me as well! Especially since I do have caffeine a couple times per week, a small glass of red wine every couple weeks, deli meat, soft cheeses, etc. etc. (As far as the sweets go, typically I have a crazy sweet tooth, but now that I’m pregnant… not so much. ) Those choices sure do get me the death stare!

    The other thing that blows my mind is the incongruity in society encouraging pregnant women not only to indulge unhealthfully, but also to “take it easy, worry about the weight later”. I’m not fond of exercise, but I walk and/or do yoga at least 60 min/day.

    Maybe I get this approach from my scandinavian mother who had 5 healthy children naturally, and she swam daily and never scrutinized her diet as absurdly and inconsistently as we do today.

    Jenna Reply:

    With all the data supporting easier labors for fit mothers, why WOULDN’T you want to exercise?

    Telling women to be safe and not overextend themselves? Great! Telling women it’s okay to spend 40 weeks on the couch without any medical reason? Oh no.

    Paige Reply:

    I hope this means Jenna you have decided to start a exercise routine that includes some cardio to prepare for your birth because you are exactly right

  4. Great post Jenna! I believe my philosophy when I’m pregnant will be to think about what I am eating, and would I set that down in front of my kid to eat (of course when they can eat solid foods)? I’d never give my kid a giant piece of chocolate cake, but I would definitely give them a small piece and make it a special occasion. I love everything in moderation.

    I think as a society, we should be supportive of each other in eating more healthfully, but not in a judgy way like you say. This is like restaurants including calorie counts on their menus (while the restaurant may not like it). It’s a reminder and a way of being conscious of what we’re eating. I think not encouraging anyone that they “deserve” chocolate cake is another way to do this.

    P.S. No one should ever believe they “deserve” or have “earned” food. That is just bad practice. You never hear anyone sitting down to a bowl of salad saying they “deserve” this.

    P.P.S. I once read that pregnant women really only need like, 300 extra calories a day. Is that true?

    Katy Reply:

    That 300 extra calorie number is about right – that’s what I’ve learned as well. That’s not much! I think that whole “eating for two” was changed from eating with two people in mind (you and the baby) and we tend to misconstrue it to mean ‘eat twice the calories’.

    Jenna Reply:

    Yes, and my reading suggests that it’s 300 on *high* end.

    Sarah B. Reply:

    Wow that’s really very little extra calories, I’m surprised!

  5. Hehe, my midwife RECOMMENDED a glass of wine (or a hot bath, a massage, etc.) as a way to relax and, basically, “let” labor come (I was post dates, beginning to dilate and READY TO GO!). I’ve also heard it recommended for right as labor is starting, also for relaxation.
    I know that’s kind of off the point, but yeah… I very much agree- there are so many (worse, in my book) things we can do to our bodies during pregnancy than the occasional small dose of caffeine, alcohol, or even cake and ice cream.
    And yay for you on not having GD! Unfortunately, you CAN gain a lot of weight during pregnancy while eating right and NOT having anything wrong with you. It can be depressing. Trust me I know!

  6. I think the source of the problem has more to do with the way we stigmatize and moralize food and other lifestyle choices then holding each other accountable.

    It drives me crazy when a woman jokes about being “bad” by eating some cake, or that shes going to be good and just have a salad. It’s eating a piece of cake, not shooting up some heroin that you that you bought with money stolen from little old ladies. Certain dietary choices are certainly healthier than others, but there are probably very few that are moral or immoral.

    When we’ve set up a system where some food is good and some is bad, it makes sense for food to be a reward for something, like pregnancy. If food is bad, it can be earned or morally canceled out with good behavior like making a person. I think the only real way to stop thinking of food as an earned indulgence is to also stop thinking of it as something to be demonized.

    Given that, I don’t think supporting/pressuring people to eat healthy is the answer – that’s just the same old food morality ideas, just with the line moved over a bit to favor moderation as the new moral.

    If we want a healthy relationship with food we need to remember that it’s just food, not a reflection of character.

    Sarah Reply:

    I think that was very well put, and I agree with you that we should not think of food as good or bad.

    Having said that, I think this sort of psycho-babble is not necessarily helpful to people currently struggling with weight problems. (I come from a place of being about 10 lbs over-weight my whole life.) I know it is difficult to overcome the loud messages we are bombarded with at all times and try to eat in moderation. But we should never consider ourselves victims. I believe it is a measure of maturity and self-worth to take responsibility and tell yourself “no, not today.”

  7. I usually don’t comment on your blog, I’m more of a lurker, but I felt compelled to comment….Maybe because I am having a baby in 7wks.

    I agree with a previous commenter, I would never tell a friend to split anything with me, I am not her mother. People should take responsibility for their own food choices, not feel judged into eating healthy by someone who deems themselves all knowing of food and the proper choices to make.

    Frankly, if you suggested that to me, I would be completely upset and I would re-consider you as a friend..But everyone isn’t like me.

    It annoys me beyond belief why someone believes they have any right to say what I take into my body, especially now that I am pregnant. I’m not talking about alcohol, drugs, or smoking..I’m talking about that piece of cake you’re referring to or those cookies. I’m sorry but I don’t agree with you that indulging in sweets and maybe even junk food will do grave danger to my child in the future because I am taking these last couple weeks to really think about my own life style and the life style of my family..But sometimes, a piece of celery just doesn’t cut it..I want a cookie and I am not going to feel guilty about wanting one either.

    Your whole post is about not judging women but I feel like you are judging me and other pregnant women who choose to indulge. During this pregnancy I have kept myself under control the best I can but do I indulge? Yes. I’ve only gained 17 lbs this whole pregnancy, my blood sugar levels are great, my blood pressure is also great, and I have had no swelling what so ever. So just because you see some women having cake the size of their heads, don’t assume she is making dangerous choices. My baby is just fine, thank you.

    Sophia Reply:

    I don’t believe Jenna was saying that you should never indulge, but rather that you should indulge within reason, as it seems you have. The point of the post, to me, is that it’s weird that women are given this license to eat whatever they want, whenever they want during pregnancy, and no one would bat an eye if someone said “well, all I’ve been craving all week has been pickles, mayo sandwiches, and chocolate covered pretzels, so that’s all I’ve eaten”, yet if a woman makes a considered, moderate choice to drink wine once a week in the third trimester people would be shocked at her irresponsibility. I read this post as saying that the moderate wine drinker would be judged far more harshly than the extremely unhealthy, cravings led eater, and that it really doesn’t make sense, because eating *that* unhealthily is probably worse than having a glass of wine once a week or so.

    Plus, and this is just my own personal side note, I really get tired of the “go ahead, you’re eating for two!” comments. The extra calories you need vary, some people say 250 to 500, some say as much as 700, but that’s certainly not “eating for two”. Then, as soon as you pop out your child, everyone vilifies you if you can’t fit into pre-baby pants within 2 months, so what is the motivation with our culture being so “eat eat EAT!” when you’re pregnant, and then expecting you to be skinny once you give birth, after you’ve been eat eat eating for 10 months? It’s weird to me, those conflicting messages.

  8. Congrats on no GD!! I was talking to a friends mom who is a nurse and a coffee NUT and I joked that being pregnant must have been so hard for her not to have coffee – adn she explained that because its such a regular part of her day, going cold turkey caff free was actually more risky in terms of effects on the baby – so she cut it back to 1 cup a day and she has 3 beautiful problem free children! Its all about knowing your own body and applying the research results – not the result assumptions.

    Crystal Reply:

    This was me with my first. I was drinking 5-6 cups a day before and tried to cut out coffee completely. Bad idea. I ended up constipated and with blinding headaches. Adding a cup a day back in fixed everything. Thankfully my daughter didn’t reacting to caffeine when Iw as nursing so I could still get my coffee then.

  9. Love your blog, but I didn’t get past the first four sentences in this post. I got stuck on the spanking comment. I know the point is to say that there is no one right way to parent, but let me express my feelings on this issue.

    My husband was spanked and, while he is a normal, well-adjusted adult, the fact is that spanking is not an effective method of punishment (I’m not going to cite sources, but look it up if you want some evidence). The thing that bothers me most about your argument on spanking (which is a similar argument my husband used to give me) is that you are saying that since you were spanked as a child and you aren’t screwed up, that means it is ok. Hitting is not ok. A big, full grown adult hitting a small, defenseless child is not ok. Maybe it won’t screw them up for life, but does it work as an effective punishment? In a word, no. There is no evidence that spanking actually teaches children anything at all. I would argue that it teaches children to fear their parents, to hide things from them, and to lie. Eventually, children who are spanked grow too old and too big for this type of punishment and it becomes a joke. I have seen this with friends. They laugh and talk about how little power their parents have over them.

    My husband used to say (I say “used to” because I think all my blabbing about this topic finally got through to him) that you can’t reason with a two year old. He had this image in his mind that the alternative to spanking was to have a chat and talk about feelings. Sometimes that is appropriate, but other forms of punishment are effective without bordering on abusive: timeouts, taking away privileges, reward systems (instead of bribery), etc.

    Please do not see this comment as attacking you in any way. I just wanted to be sure you understood the weight of your words and the other sides of this coin. Some people are better parents than others. Some people make terrible choices. I’m sure I will screw up my own kids in some way or another, but I will never use physical force to prove that I have the power.

    Sarah Reply:

    I have seen parents use spanking not as a way of actually hitting hard enough to hurt, but more of a gentle swat on the tush. In this way, if it rarely occurs, it is more of a way to grab the attention of a child in the middle of a tantrum rather than a punishment. I have seen this work in the right occasion.

    Amy Carter Reply:

    I disagree. I have seen it used in that way too, and it seems unnecessary. There are other ways to get a child’s attention than to hit them, how ever gentle.

    Sarah Reply:

    I think we’ve proven Jenna’s point, that there are different opinions on just about everything :)

    Sophia Reply:

    I have to agree with Amy on this, and she’s right, there is a lot of research on the subject. I can’t justify hitting a child, even if it’s called spanking. If I “gently swatted” my child’s *face* to get their attention, people would be shocked, or if I slapped their upper arm, the back of their legs, they would be appalled as well. But swatting their butt, or slapping their hand is somehow ok? Why is it ok to hit a child here, but not there? If I did something wrong that displeased my partner, and he slapped me “gently” in the face to express his displeasure with my action, I would be out of there. But it is considered ok to slap and spank children as a teaching/discipline method to express displeasure, and they are much smaller than adults, and the relationship is anything but equal. It especially confuses me when children are spanked for hitting other kids- what the…? How does that make sense? People often say “well, I spank because my one/two/three year old can’t be reasoned with”. So, you’re saying your child cannot comprehend why they are being punished, so you spank them to punish them? But how do they know why you are hitting them, if they can’t comprehend why they did something wrong? Doesn’t it seem like your child might just think you hit them out of nowhere for no reason?

    I think mostly I just dislike the euphemisms for it- spanking, swatting, etc. If I do the exact same action to another body part, it’s called hitting. Just because it’s on the back of a hand or a butt shouldn’t change it, but we dress it up in all these euphemisms. Also, using a paddle or a switch is considered outdated and terrible, yet spanking a child on their bare bottom while they’re bent over the parents knee is a-ok… the boundaries are just weird and arbitrary to me.

    I’m definitely not saying people who spank are child abusers, or bad parents, etc., and I know some parents who spank but do so rarely- maybe one or two times in an entire childhood. I know others for whom spanking is the go to method of punishment, and this bothers me greatly. I just think it’s an outdated and largely ineffective method, for which there are kinder and more effective replacements.

    Jenna Reply:

    Interestingly? We actually don’t plan on spanking. I disagree with the message I think it sends to children about how to deal with bad behavior or anger, and slaps and swats are all too often delivered out of anger rather than an attempt to correct behavior.

    Sometimes the things that get picked up from a certain post are really surprisingly. I can’t win them all, you know?

    Sophia Reply:

    Just to clarify, I didn’t pick up on that topic in the original post, but then when this side thread discussion started I thought I’d throw my two cents in. I didn’t assume you would/would not be spanking :)

    Sarah B. Reply:

    I wasn’t raised in a spanking household, and I don’t even have any children yet (though I do have a lot of experience with children). I don’t necessarily plan on being a “spanking parent” when I do have children but I have known some people who do use a small swat as a parenting tool on a rare occasion. I like to play devil’s advocate and, like Jenna was getting at in this post, I get really tired of people passing judgment on others decisions. Clearly there is a lot of judgment in these “anti-spanking” comments that are pretty biased. You have a strong opinion, more power to you, but I think you need to give everyone a fair shake.

    Amy Carter Reply:

    There is definitely no judgment intended by my post. I am not biased, I have done a LOT of research on this issue. If research and education makes someone biased… well, ok. I wasn’t saying, “you are a bad person” or “parents who spank are evil.” I was just pointing out to Jenna that every word she writes is read. Some people have strong feelings about certain issues. For me, I don’t have strong feelings about the issue she was really getting at (pregnancy eating habits), but I do, obviously, have strong feelings about this. The comment she made about spanking was something I hear all the time from people who were spanked as children and they use it as justification for spanking their own children. Just because our ancestors did something does not mean it is effective or appropriate.

    Jenna, I am glad you don’t plan on spanking. You are right that spanking is usually done out of anger when a parent just reacts without thinking. Relating this to your real point for this post, spanking is like fast food: quick and easy, but not good for you or your kids and provides little nutritional value. haha.

  10. Congrats on not having GD!

    I’m glad you wrote about this, I’m not pregnant nor do I have any children (yet) but I can definitely tell that this issue will irk me when it arises. We should bond together to be supportive, not critical!

  11. This is so very true. And it’s amazing how, culture to culture, the “forbidden food” list varies. In America, we always hear about how pregnant women should never consume non-pasteurized cheese, raw eggs, and wine. When the German post-doc in my lab was pregnant, she didn’t understand any of these — in her home country, the cheese and raw eggs (in the form of custard, etc.) are consumed without a second thought, and a glass of wine now and then in the second and third trimester is sometimes encouraged. Like you said, it is important not to avoid everything, but to know why you are avoiding it and make your own educated decision.

  12. Cecy is right – -and I wish I would do this more often – - if you really want something a little too indulgent, eat one and give away the rest. I too had heard that it truly is alright to have 1 glass of wine/coffee once in a blue moon while pregnant, but since we don’t know what the exact line is for too much alcohol/caffiene, then it’s (rightly) reccommended that none be consumed. Of course, this was of no concern to me since I don’t drink those things anyway.

    STORY TIME!! – - When I was pregnant with Grant, I was horribly, horribly sick. I vomitted constantly, ate very little, and had next to no appetitie. I ate only what sounded good because I had to get SOME calories in. I was teaching 2nd grade at the time and had occasional experiences with this judgemental, older cafeteria lady. I went in before school (where they were serving breakfast for the kids) – I knew I needed to eat something, but nothing sounded good to my weak stomach.

    Well, two of the choices they had were a cinnamon roll or blueberry muffin. The roll sounded a wee bit better, so I asked for that, to which the cafeteria lady replied “Uh, don’t you think you should be getting the muffin instead – for the baby?” I was totally shocked and had I been a more confrontational person and/or had more energy I would have said either “Excuse me, I eat like 500 calories a day – if anything sounds remotely non-revolting, I eat it because it’s something. So step off.” OR I also could have said “Excuse me, but that blueberry muffin is also loaded with sugar and refined carbs, so technically it’s not any better than the cinnamon roll, lady.”

    This same lady, several months later, saw my friends and I (were all pregant together that year) sampling a cookie from the dessert section of our school’s monthly potluck. She then promptly advised us “Shouldn’t you guys be at the vegetable table instead?” Yikes!

    Long story short – - yes, moderation in all things….

    Jenna Reply:

    Oh man, this reminds me of my crazy great-grandma over Christmas. She couldn’t watch me pick up the salt shaker without commenting!

    With this post I was hoping to get across that it would have been just as frustrating (in my opinion) if the lunch lady has said “Have more than on cinnamon roll my dear! You’re eating for two.” That’s no more helpful than her criticisms were.

  13. Really interesting post, thanks.

    I think it’s a wider problem that extends also to non-pregnant people – judging other people’s consumption and encouraging sweet things on others and all that kind of thing. We have a twisted kind of approach to food here. There’s so much good/bad, punishment/reward to it, when it should just be about nourishment and enjoyment.

    I’m continuing a diet very similar to my pre-pregnancy one – with a little less alcohol (I didn’t drink much anyway) and caffeine. There’s a little bit of junk in there, but it’s fairly healthy and I enjoy cooking and eating it, and I’ve had the same weight for years, unfluctuating, so I think that’s good enough. Anything more complicated seems too much to think about really…

  14. I’m so glad you wrote about this – I’m not sure if you had seen it already, but I tweeted this to you yesterday (I’m EDB26). I know that the big thing for me when I’m pregnant will be that I will want to keep playing ice hockey and long-distance running for as long as my doctor says that I can. (I’ll probably stop playing hockey at 3mos or so, but I plan to run into month 5-7.) But I know people will judge me for “endangering the baby” by going for a five mile run. And yeah, those are the same people that would encourage me to eat cheesecake.
    Also, it’s weird that pregnant women are the only people we as a society encourage to be lazy. Even severely disabled people aren’t encouraged to get fat “because you have an excuse.” It’s very interesting.

    Jenna Reply:

    I have a friend who stopped running outside because of the looks she got. So sad!

    I commented above on someone else’s comment about the attitude that also exists about exercise during pregnancy. Doesn’t make ANY sense.

  15. I thought this at church yesterday and afterward was wishing I told you–You look fantastic! You have really popped and your bump is so cute, seriously. The glow has really set in :).

    Good post, too.

  16. i’m sorry, jenna. but this post is ridiculous.

    if you had said you wanted no bakes and all of your friends had replied “don’t do it! that’s not healthy!” you would be writing a post about how judgmental and condescending they all are.

    you’re an adult. pregnant or not, you’re in charge of your own health. are you really going to accuse tweeters of “facilitating” your “bad” choices? it sounds like you are the one who thinks the choice to make no-bakes was a bad one. and you’re the only one who knows what you “should” or “should not” be eating.

    Jenna Reply:

    Hopefully the twitter example was conveyed as one example (and it was a textual one that was easy to illustrate), it doesn’t seem like it happened that way for you. It’s not just on Twitter or Facebook that happens, it’s everyday life for anyone who is pregnant. We, as friends and acquaintances, need to eliminate the phrases “You’re pregnant, you deserve it!”, “You’re eating for two!” and other such common phrases when it comes to situations where pregnant women are approaching something as important as nutrition.

    kacey Reply:

    i understand why those statements might annoy you. everyone gets annoyed by things other people say sometimes. i get bugged by people’s insensitive or ridiculous comments all the time.

    i guess the thing that bothers me about this post is you admitted that you goaded those statements out of people. they extended a courtesy by responding to your statements…in fact, they even responded how you were hoping they would…and now you’re basically slamming them for being “facilitators” on your blog.

    Amy Carter Reply:

    Kacey, I think you hit it on the head…

    We all do this though, I am not overweight in a medical sense (I’m not skinny either), but I always make comments about how I feel fat or how I shouldn’t eat another cookie and deep down, in the very back of my mind, I want people to say, “What? You’re so thin! Go for it!” I am asking for the excuse, and they give it to me. I can’t then turn around and say that people shouldn’t encourage me to eat or compliment me… they were just trying to be nice!

  17. yup yup! The BEST friends are the ones that keep you accountable! And it’s oh so much better when they do it sweetly!

    Jenna Reply:

    Oh so true. My best friends were/are the ones who made me a better person.

  18. wow, the peanut gallery is quite divided on this one. it seems everyone has an opinion on everything involved with pregnancy and parenthood, even me. yesterday i had the audacity to tell my recently postpartum best friend that her carbohydrate on carbohydrate on carbohydrate diet might not be helping her lose the baby weight and suggested the nina planck books (thanks btw for the suggestion here). she didn’t seem insulted by my suggestion, merely interested in knowing more.

  19. I agree that pregnancy does not grant you a guilt-free full-access card to the all you can eat buffet. But suggesting to someone, even if it’s ever so gently, that they should not eat something is being judgmental. How can I assume that I know enough about another person’s food and exercise lifestyle to tell them that that cookie would be bad for them? And it suggests that I don’t think they are smart enough to look after themselves.

    Unless it’s a good friend who has acknowledged she needs help and/or specifically asked me to help her manage her food choices, I would never, ever comment on them. And I would expect the same from those around me.

    Jenna Reply:

    I think that we make comments like these to our closest friends all the time! Dorsay and I spent several weeks checking in with each other through gchat and talking about the things we were going through and I loved having someone to discuss these things with. She’s not the only one who I have/had this kind of relationship with. When I announced my pregnancy though, all the sudden everything changed, which I don’t understand. I’m still the same person, during a time when nutrition is more important than ever before. Why, all the sudden, is it “wonderful!” for me to be indulging? When before I would have received encouragement to continue with my goals.

    I’m not advocating for comments from random strangers (who wants those?) but when you hear a pregnant woman say “I want a tub of ice cream!” and your response is “Oh you deserve it!”, how does that make any sense?

    Kasia Fink Reply:

    Yes – “to our closest friends”, exactly. That’s fine, in fact, that’s great! But I wouldn’t ever mention it to someone who I didn’t know that well.

    I wouldn’t tell someone who wanted to eat a tub of ice cream that they “deserve it” but if they wanted to eat one, I wouldn’t step in and tell them they shouldn’t do it, either. I wouldn’t say anything – unless they were a good friend of mine. In which case, it’s a whole different story. It’s none of my business until you’re my business, so to speak.

    I personally think the reason why many people encourage pregnant women to indulge is because they are usually so focused on restriction. When they see an opportunity to let loose a bit, they encourage it and live vicariously through them. It goes back to what everyone else is saying here that the real problem is our society’s attitudes toward food in general.

    christiana (us meets uk) Reply:

    word up. Let’s start that again.. :)

  20. Though I agree with most of what you have said here, I’m not sure how I feel about alcohol during pregnancy. Sure, a huge whopping piece of chocolate cake isn’t good, and lots of it over time can have negative effects, but chocolate cake doesn’t cause near the “damage” alcohol does easily, especially when it comes to development. Anybody know of any good studies/research on the topic? I’d truly be interested in reading it.

    I’ve heard that supposedly alcohol isn’t so bad after the first trimester, but until there is some good hard proof, to be honest I think it is somewhat irresponsible to take an unnecessary risk to indulge in something that is known to cause fetal harm, even if it is only occasionally.

    That’s why the Newsweek article bothers me a bit–to me it says “until we can prove it’s bad, don’t bug me about using it”

    Well, what if it does prove to be harmful? Better safe than sorry, at least in my opinion.

    Anna Reply:

    The trouble with studies done on FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) is that they haven’t defined what volume of alcohol causes FAS. Most studies look at women who consume at minimum 1 glass of wine/day. Also, the warning not to drink any alcohol during pregnancy has a lot to do with not giving addicts any excuses to put their baby at risk. I personally am ok drinking one small glass of wine once every couple weeks.

    I would say that the risk to the baby of eating lots of sweets and carbs is MUCH higher, partly due to what Jenna addresses in this post. GD is on the rise and the ramifications for our children is very bad (http://diabetescenter.blogspot.com/2006/03/gestational-diabetes-on-rise.html). While GD can be caused by hormonal disagreement between baby and mother, more and more often is it caused by mothers being overweight and already pre-diabetic when the fall pregnant. It is also aggravated by poor lifestyle and diet (high in carb and sugar) during pregnancy. Studies by the Diabetic section of the CDC have shown that 1 in 3 children born in the US today will develop type-2 diabetes. Some of this is attributed to the fact that they are born >9 lbs (macrosomia). Babies reach this size largely due to the lifestyle choices of the mother. The good news is that most cases of diabetes are preventable through healthy lifestyle choices. That would include regular exercise and sticking to a diet high in vegetables, fiber, and protein when one is pregnant.

    While we may not like being judged for our choices in food, I think these studies show that a majority of women are unaware of what their choices do. Informing is not judging.

    BTW Jenna, glad to hear you passed your GD test. I take mine next week.

    Marissa C Reply:

    I see your point, but at the same time, why indulge in anything that could risk your baby’s health, if you can avoid it, whether it be alcohol, or excessive sweets?

    Anna Reply:

    You are absolutely correct, if it is a risk. There is no proof whatsoever that 1 glass of wine every couple of weeks is a risk.

    Anna Reply:

    Sorry hit submit on accident.

    As far as wine is concerned (and caffeine although I’ll focus on wine), many studies ( MayoClinic and AHA among others) show the undeniable benefits of moderate wine consumption to the heart, cholesterol, etc. if it’s been a part of your lifestyle. These benefits of wine mostly exist not only because of the wine but the lifestyle associated with it (high consumption of vegetables, fish, whole grains, healthy fats). My approach, as a pregnant woman, therefore has been not to alter my lifestyle, because it wasn’t abusive and within what doctors consider putting a baby at risk.

    Regardless, my main point is that in American society we have labeled alcohol and caffeine “bad” (I believe, largely due to religious ideals) when in fact, refined sugar is highly addictive, more unhealthy, and socially acceptable. The benefits of refined sugar and carbs are hard to find, whereas there are plenty of benefits of wine and caffeine in moderation. This makes refined sugar a silent, accepted, more prevalent and substantial risk to women and their babies.

    Moderation is not only good in everyday life, but also during pregnancy.

    Jenna Reply:

    I’m glad someone else thinks GD is as dangerous/scary as I do. When I talked about being worried about it everyone seemed to infer that it was nothing at all to worry about! I want an average sized baby (I was 6 lbs, so I can hope right?) with no elevated risk of developing diabetes later in life due to my actions.

    If baby is going to get diabetes later on, I want it to be completely his/her fault. :)

  21. Amen!
    My husband and I want a big family and I have been pregnant the majority of our 3 yr marriage. If I indulged every time I felt like it I would be a million pounds and very unhealthy. I strongly believe in exercise and healthy eating habits during pregnancy. I have actually gotten smaller with each child! It’s about developing healthy habits that we can pass onto our children because for better or worse they will copy everything we do.
    Thanks for the honest blogging.

  22. To be real honest… it’s hard because there are a lot of factors that aren’t really being considered.

    For example, I’m not like you at all – I didn’t have zero morning sickness. I’ve been sick since pretty much week 6, and although it’s finally easing up (thank GOD) my aversion to food is STRONG, STRONG, STRONG. So strong in fact that thinking of certain ones triggers me to throw up. Smelling them? I’m in the toilet. Eating them? Can’t even imagine it.

    So, my doctor basically told me to eat what I could, which ended up being about 5 foods for the majority of the time. I’m finally branching out (a little) but my baby is growing on whatever I can eat without vomiting. Unfortunately, three of the things I’m able to eat fairly easily = chocolate, ice cream, and cereal.

    Thankfully salad is something I don’t have an aversion to, so I cram as much of it as I can, but I can’t live off salad all day – I have to get calcium, I have to get some protein, etc.

    I would never, ever, EVER tell a pregnant woman what to eat or what not to eat, though I once watched a pregnant mother basically give herself diabetes (she was constantly drinking Dr. Pepper, eating candy bars & french fries, etc. – of course this was her diet pre-pregnancy too).

    I don’t really think it’s our job to tell our friends what to eat… whether they be pregnant, overweight, or whatever. They’re adults. They know what they’re doing. We can’t be getting all parental over each other’s decisions, in my opinion. I understand your passion (and frustration) but quite honestly, my job as a friend is not to tell my friend what to eat. I would if she were to ask, but otherwise, I’m not going to assume I know best & play her mother. If I had a friend that was purposely trying to hurt herself or the baby (by consuming like… only Cheetos… or large amounts of alcohol, for example) I would urge her to talk to her doctor… otherwise, she can eat her dessert with her meal if she wants.

    Katy Reply:

    I also had terrible sickness during pregnancy – - see my the comment I left earlier for the story of someone calling me out for what I ate when I was actually able to eat so little. I tried to choose healthy when I could and I tried to take my prenatals (when I didn’t throw them up), but sometimes it just didn’t matter what I chose because at least it was SOMETHING.

    This last pregnancy however, I wished I had used more self control. The sickness was for longer but for slightly less intensity, plus I had medication for it this time, but I still wanted sweets because it always was tolerated much better than other stuff. I wish that I would have consumed less though – now I’m paying for it!

  23. jenna, this post is hilarious. my friends and I used to call this phenom “the pregnancy police” (those same people turn into “the baby police” so stay alert) Everyone has an opinion from fake sugars to wine and for some reason they feel better about expressing that opinion when others are pregnant. weird and somewhat entertaining…in my office of pregnant women the PP were also very concerned about weight gain, healthy eating and GD, but I have always chalked that up to East Coast Female Competition. So just like any other day, pregnant or not, enjoy a cookie but not the whole batch!

  24. I have to say that when I made that tweet/comment I thought two things. One definitely comes from my French education and having a dietitian as a mother. I don’t believe in bad foods, I don’t do diets, I try to eat healthy and if I need to loose weight I know it will be through sports.
    I believe that food is meant to be enjoyed, that eating with guilt is the worst thing to do.
    I’m reading the blog of a French Woman who is being taught to re-think food, to watch for the feeling of hunger, she is allowed to eat anything she wants. Actually her nutritionist told her on several occasions to eat only that item she craved so she could learn that in fact she will stop wanting it after a while. That by being allowed to eat it, and letting herself indulge, she can learn her own limits. And she’s lost weight. That’s the way I see food (now if I could master the whole mouth hunger vs stomach one I would be better off too myself).

    Reading your tweet I felt that if you wanted to have cookies than you should, it’s your choice.
    However, I was judgmental because I also thought, well you were just told you have no GD which is great, however your Midwife had you take the test because she had concerns about it. So it’s important to keep on being careful.

    You’ve invited us into your life through your blog, and you’ve commented several times on your efforts to be healthy, so I felt I could comment on it. But as said above, there are a lot of friends to whom I would not have said the same things unless I felt invited to.

    Back to the post, I agree that it’s very stupid to say “you’re eating for two”. You are but #2 is not a fully grown being and only need so much food. From my understanding you’ll need more once you breastfeed.
    I think the key note is what you mentionned: “Instead of encouraging indulgence or forbidding altogether, let’s encourage moderation in all things.”

    Kasia Fink Reply:

    Cécy, I would love to read that blog. Can you share the link?

    Cécy Reply:

    Well the blog is in French though, but maybe you can find a way to translate it. I selected the link with the tag about her food meetings.
    http://www.penseesderonde.fr/zermati-et-moi/
    The Dr she sees, his name is Zermati, maybe you can find more about him and his philosophy online.

    Kasia Fink Reply:

    Thank you! It’s ok, I speak French. :)

    Jenna Reply:

    You speak French, English AND Polish? What a genius you are my dear!

    Jenna Reply:

    I’ve read the French Women Don’t Get Fat books and I really enjoyed the concept. VERY similar to the ideas behind “Intuitive Eating”, the idea that eliminating what is “bad” and “good” leads one to make choices based on what makes them feel best.

    Cécy Reply:

    I have not read that book, but I hear so many people talking about it, it makes me more an more curious to know what it’s about.

    Jenna Reply:

    You’re so great to admitting to “judging” me. I never would have noticed! It was a fantastic way to respond to such a situation.

  25. Oh just a thought about parenting, something my aunt shared in an email I got from her today as we talked about my mom:
    “And you know what? When comes your turn, you won’t be a perfect mother (thank God!) and your daughter will ask herself the same serious questions about the meaning of life; the important thing, is that she continues to turn to you and you toward her in the moments of crisis, and there you will be able to say: I did not fail everything!”
    I loved her words, I want it to be my motto the day I become a Mom.

  26. I definitely have to disagree on the spanking thing. Not only is “I had X happen to me and I am fine, so X is fine!” a glaring logical fallacy, there is absolutely no reason to ever spank a child. If you wouldn’t hit your husband or wife, why would you do the same to a child? What exactly is that teaching? That hitting is okay, provided the person hitting is bigger and stronger than the victim?

    There is always a more suitable punishment that would make more sense and be more effective than hitting a child. I was spanked several times as well, and I turned out fine. I would never claim my parents were bad parents, but that is not an okay thing to do. As someone who is studying child development, I strongly urge you to rethink your position. Natural consequences make much more sense to young children and get the message across much better than hitting them ever will.

    Sophia Reply:

    FWIW, we had a side conversation about this up thread, not about Jenna’s position, but just about spanking in general. Jenna then replied and said that she and TH had decided not to spank because they disagree with the message it sends.

    A.H. Reply:

    That’s what I get for just reading the post before I comment :) I let my strong opinions get the best of me sometimes.

    Sophia Reply:

    Haha, no worries, it was a reply to a reply to a reply, I figured it would be hard to find, and we all shared your viewpoint on it as well, so I thought I’d share what Jenna said regarding our side discussion :)

  27. Are you serious? Your tweet was begging for a ‘you go girl, eat those sweets!’ Were you trying to trick people or something? Your posts are increasingly full of logical fallacies and judgement of others.

    Hannah Reply:

    Jenna has stated that her intention was to get the exact reaction she got, to prove a point. I am really disappointed to see that this is the case, to be honest.

    Jenna Reply:

    Oh come on! Twitter is basically a social experiment in what to say/tweet to get the biggest reactions out of people. I found in the past that announcing my pregnancy caused people to reply to my tweets with statements like you saw above, and I feel no shame in doing it once again to have some material for this post. I didn’t force anyone to reply they did, they chose to do so because THAT IS HOW WE TREAT ALL PREGNANT WOMEN.

    Hannah Reply:

    Jenna, I am simply stating an opinion. I think that goading your loyal followers to make a point crosses a line. I am surprised that it didn’t occur to you that some people might feel a little frustrated that you (by your own admission) encouraged a particular response only to judge them as facilitators.

    Hannah Reply:

    I just want to reiterate that my intention is not to be ‘snarky’. I simply find it problematic that you have used your loyal readers as a ‘social experiment’.

    I think you immediately assume that people who express an issue or disappoinment in something you have said is snarkiness. It isn’t.

    I don’t bother with trolling/snarkiness out of spite and am a loyal reader – that doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything you say and keep my mouth shut when I see something I really think is problematic. And the fact that you don’t either is something I do actually like about you – I just don’t think you realise that you can come across just as judgmental as those you feel judge you.

    Jenna Reply:

    But I feel like it’s getting to this point:

    I write the initial post
    It gets comments
    Then I’m supposed to turn around and only be really nice and syrupy sweet instead of saying what I really think in the comments. Why am I supposed to be the one who is censoring myself all the time?

    I get at least a comment a day, if not more, disagreeing or issuing disappointment. Do you see me replying to all of those letting them know I think they are snarky, or better yet, blocking them from coming back? No. I continually open myself up to attack my choosing to write about things I find interesting or that I am passionate about. If I was so convinced that every single reader was snarky I would stop writing or go private or write about flowers.

    And I wasn’t “using loyal readers”. It was Twitter. A formate open for anyone to follow me and reply to comments. Most of the replies were from people I don’t even know!

    You judged me as someone who would only choose a charity that is LDS. Judging comes in many shapes and forms and there isn’t a person out there who doesn’t do it in some form or another.

    Hannah Reply:

    I didn’t actually judge you – at all. I asked out of interest because I PERSONALLY choose not to donate to a lot of religious charities because I feel that their goals aren’t transparent. I was interested in possibly donating (not to win your prize, but because I had decided to donate further) to your suggested charities but could not find such information to decide whether I would donate to those particular ones – and asked you. I didn’t feel comfortable donating when I didn’t feel that the origins of the foundations were transparent/clear so I asked you because I figured you would know.

    I was also curious as to whether the LDS Church separates their humanitarian goals from their evangelistic efforts. It wasn’t judgement – it was a wish to be educated. I don’t care if you only donate to LDS charities, one iota, and would never judge you for that. It just isn’t my choice to do so (or donate to a lot of religious charities).

    I don’t think you need to censor yourself, but there is a difference between censoring yourself and judging when you yourself don’t appreciate it. I don’t think I personally said anything worth blocking me. I simply said I had a problem with you using readers (because some of them were readers) as a social experiment only to judge them.

    The thing is, you advertise your Twitter on this blog and your professional one. So some of the responses indeed came from people who are loyal readers and who support you. I haven’t had time to Tweet lately but I probably would have responded the same way to be nice – even though I would have thought it odd that you wanted to go crazy after avoiding the one thing you feared most likely to prevent your home birth. And I would have been frustrated if I had been labeled a facilitator because of it.

    Jenna Reply:

    I guess my point I’m trying to make is that I did not MAKE them facilitators. They already were such.

    Hannah Reply:

    I get that. I think Amy and Kasey maybe better articulated my point – that people responded to your Tweet as a courtesy, because they like you, and then you judged them (because you did) as facilitators – whether you made them facilitators is irrelevant. If they had known what you were going to write, would they have responded the same way? Would they have responded at all?

    I don’t think it is really your place to goad (your word, not mine) responses out of people in order to judge them and make a point. To me, it screams of disrespect for the very people who care enough to come and read your blog every day.

    Again, Jenna, I have to reiterate that I am not trying to be snarky and that I read your blog (daily) because I like you and actually do give a crap about you. I am not criticising you for sport or to be facetious.

  28. I feel like if I told someone not to eat something it would not end well. I feel like it’s saying that someone is fat, or you disapprove of the way they eat and then there is weird tension.

  29. I just want to say YAY! for the negative GD test :) I know it was something that concerned you & I am so glad that you can rest easy about it now!

  30. One my my good friends (and a co-worker) just gave birth to a healthy baby girl, and while she was at work we had a system: she would buy the sweets she craved and put them in MY desk drawer. Then she had to ask me for them, which slowed her down (physically, and also because she feared my judgement of her diet) and avoided the dreaded “boredom eating.” It worked out really well! When someone else is involved in what you eat you really do monitor it more closely. I have to admit that once I suggested she eat a piece of chocolate one lazy afternoon so we could watch and feel the baby kick! (But not because she was eating for two!)

    :)

    Best of luck!

  31. First, YAY for no GD!! That’s great, keep up the good work – because it is work.

    Second, I am not pregnant (never have been) but I have cravings ALL the time. I’m learning though, that my cravings for certain foods, is more of a “code” my body uses to tell me I’m missing something. When I had cravings, I started writing them down and tried to figure out why I was craving whatever I was craving. Turns out, I crave sugar when I’m actually just tired. I crave meat when I’m low on iron, etc. By figuring this out, and addressing the craving properly, it’s easier to not indulge. Yes, I still want a cookie, but if I take a 20 minute nap – I can be happy eating something else. I know I’m hungry when I am watching a t.v. show/movie, and I suddenly want everything from all of the commercials, or I want to eat what the characters are eating. That’s when I get up and say, “apparently I’m hungy, it’s time to do something about it”.

    I may not be making a lot of sense, and I don’t mean to say that I sometimes don’t crave a piece of chocolate cake because I like chocolate, and I like cake. I also don’t mean to say that I never indulge my cravings. I would be lying if I said I did. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed a pregnant person eating something and thought, “wow, she should NOT be eating that!”. Furthermore, I don’t really care what someone else is eating – it doesn’t affect me at all. So, to each his/her own! On the other side, I never encourage people to eat or not eat something, again, it’s not my business. I have asked if my friends wanted to split a dessert, and if they don’t want to, I usually don’t get one, but again, personal preference.

    I’m interested to see if my viewpoint changes once I become pregnant. I hear a lot of things change when you are pregnant. :)

    Once again, congrats on the negative for GD!

    [sorry I'm long-winded]

  32. Holy wow. Go away for four days, and a seemingly innocuous post blows up like crazy!
    I find this especially hilarious, since you and I were in the same room last night while I drank my 20 oz coke and ate Goldfish crackers straight from the bag.
    I think my lax attitude about diet these last few weeks comes from the fact that my doctor had me working SO HARD to gain weight in the second trimester. All I ever actually wanted to eat was salad and bread, and he kept telling me that food was pretty useless. Protein protein protein! So even now that I’m on track with my weight, I eat Salami like it’s going out of style, as a matter of habit. Healthy? Notsomuch.
    But at the same time, I’m just not the kind to stress out about weight. I indulge, but not to an unhealthy extreme.
    And I’ll admit, if anyone… ANYONE… ever told me that I should cut back on what I was eating, I’d use this pregnancy as an excuse to remove their jugular. You’re right that it’s hilarious how we’re encouraged to throw good eating habits out the window just as they’re the most important. But I think that above all, women both pregnant and not should just be taking control of our diets. Since when do we need affirmation on FB to consider a snack worth having? We’re all adults here. What I eat is my choice, and when I blame other people’s “influence” for my bad dieting choices, I’m just passing the buck.
    Whether I finish this entire box of cereal today is entirely my own decision, whether or not my e-friends encourage me that I “deserve” it.
    And, for the record, had we been sitting closer together last night, I’d have encouraged you to share my Goldfish. ;)

    Jenna Reply:

    Ha! I wasn’t judging you.

    I admit to picking up a McDonalds soft serve on the drive home. My throat was sore and I just wanted something cool on my tongue!

    Saying I don’t think we should encourage bad behavior doesn’t mean we should speak up out of turn. But you didn’t see me tapping you on the shoulder and saying “Someone brought cake! We should eat a whole bunch of it because we are pregnant and we deserve it after 5 hours of sitting in these chairs.” That is what I would like to see eliminated.

    Chelsea McGowan Reply:

    In that regard, I agree whole-heartedly.
    In fact, I am right now incredibly annoyed with a FB friend who worked for YEARS to get her weight down, so she could be healthy to get pregnant. Now they’re expecting, and every single status update is about her demanding that her husband bring her home some sort of fast food. At 9 weeks along, she can’t even claim she needs it for energy. It’s just an excuse to lapse into old habits.
    But will I say anything? No.
    Apparently, it’s more my style to just stew about it on your blog. ;)

  33. I also find it funny this post followed one about the cake you made…

    Jenna Reply:

    Hmmm sounds like you didn’t read the post Paige?

    Here’s my snarky reply to your original snarky comment:

    It was my friend’s birthday cake, as noted in the post. The only cake she got that day actually. How evil of me!

    Paige Reply:

    That wasn’t my point- aren’t you encouraging your friend to eat ‘bad’ food as you judge others for doing to you? Or is it only your current state of being pregnant that makes this phenomenon of friends encouraging friends so troublesome to you?

    Paige Reply:

    yes it was her birthday and so you want to treat her, and yes you’re pregnant as so people want you to treat yourself. Big deal.

  34. I must agree I can’t stand when people tell me I’m “eating for two.” Every book, class and doctor has told me I’m not, I just need extra calories. It makes me realize how misinformed some people are, and they act surprised when I tell them that. But I’m definitely not the healthiest eater anyway, and I haven’t changed for my pregnancy. ): but reading this and realizing that makes me want to, so thank you very much!

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