On Formspring this week things evolved into.., well I’m not even sure what it was. A bit of a joke actually, since all of the information I was accused of withholding can be found right here on the blog (I kept forgetting to link to previous posts so I guess I didn’t do all I could to end the discussion).


Source

If you missed it previously I detailed how we created a budget and keep track of our spending in this post. Based on that post you know that I’m really bad with money (or I was?), and that TH is the one who really drives our budgeting. That is his strength and I have some others. Good strengths, I promise.

When we knew that University of Chicago was official I wrote a post about the business school offer, which is what will allow us to make it through school without any debt. Whether they haven’t read that post, or didn’t understand it, I’m getting a lot of flack for talking about being debt free when we have “help”.

Which led to this question and my answer:

sigh, i just commented on the snarky debt thing, and i found a better way to say what i meant- if you want to talk about how you live debt free, you should be open about how you got there (help, outisde source,etc.). otherwise it just sounds braggy.

Stop eating out, stop going to movies, stop paying for cable, get rid of your car and take the bus, buy all of your clothes secondhand, don’t buy a house, downgrade your cell phone to the cheapest model and cut texting/data out of your plan, don’t go on vacation, turn down nights out with friends, don’t pay for a babysitter, shop with coupons, stop buying toys for your children, move to a smaller apartment/house, sell unnecessary belongings on Craigslist or ebay, buy your furniture/decor at a thrift store…

separate your needs from your wants.

I resent anyone who implies that we have this because of luck or handouts. TH works hard to provide the lifestyle we have.

I think the subject of entitlement is going to come up in the comments because unfortunately, I am a blessed girl and always have been, which seems to mean to some that I have no right to talk about being debt free (because unless you worked your way up from the slums with NO HELP AT ALL, your debt free life doesn’t mean anything to some).
My dad took on loads of debt to start a farm with absolutely no help at all, worked days/nights/weekends for much of my childhood to make it profitable, started his own business, built it up into something successful, and has continued to devote massive amounts of time to simultaneously running a business and a farm, making it possible for my parents to pay for my time at BYU. My parents still live in two doublewide trailers hooked together instead of buying or building a house, setting a stellar example for my sister and I when it comes to what is really necessary in life.

That Husband on the other hand, was a “pulled himself up by his bootstraps” type of guy. He chose to leave Poland to go to BYU, and worked to pay his way through school. He received a scholarship, but had to earn a 4.0 GPA through most of school in order to keep it. After school he started working for Company X (unmistakably one of the top three consulting firms in the entire world), and earned stellar reviews on his work performance that enabled him to receive the business school offer. Oh wait, AND he had to get into one of the top 10 MBA programs in the world to receive said offer.

I am the daughter of a self-made man, married to a Polish guy who is on the brink of becoming a self-made man himself.

There are people out there who have hard knocks, who do everything they can but still can’t make ends meet, but I doubt many of them are reading this blog.

Why? Because when life is really that hard for you, you don’t have the internet at home because that’s not a necessity. You don’t work cushy office jobs that allow you to spend time reading blogs like That Wife. You work out in the fields, you steam clothes at the dry cleaners, you count buttons at the button factory. I’m not knocking those jobs, I have immense respect for the hard working people out there who put so much of themselves into making a living. I’m trying to say that if you come back to That Wife each and every day, you likely aren’t one of those people who’ve cut everything out of their life except the basic necessities. If they have the time to read and attack me on my Formspring page, they probably have the time to figure out how to be debt free.

The list I pasted above details the secret to living debt free. Separate the wants from the needs, and after you’ve paid for all of the needs you know how much you have left for your wants. We (That Husband and I), believe there is only one main kind of debt that falls under the umbrella of necessity for everyone, and that’s educational debt. Business ventures are another notable exception to the no-debt policy, although I don’t think that it’s necessary for everyone starting a business to take on debt to do so. I sometimes talk about my need to “pay of Jenna Cole debt”, and when I do so I’m speaking of the money I owe back to our savings account, as none of the investments we’ve made have been with borrowed money.

A house? That is NEVER a need. It’s a want, no questions asked. You do not have to own a home. Ownership as a necessity is an American idea, TH says that in Poland owning a home is incredibly rare. Christiana recently wrote six reasons why she rents instead of owns, and I strongly agree with all of them. If you can’t ever imagine seeing how renting could be better than owning, try using this tool from the New York Times to calculate your situation and other hypothetical circumstances*.

Yesterday you saw the amount we spent on food for 4 weeks. Our goal is to spend less than $350/month on both groceries and eating out. We’ve chosen not to upgrade from the free cable that came with our apartment. I try to buy used items and clothing for T1. These and several other areas are places where we are striving to cut back during our time at UofC so that we can leave debt free. Are we living the “student lifestyle”? Certainly not. We have different circumstances, due to the hard work (and future commitment to Company X) of That Husband.

I maintain that we aren’t debt free because of dumb luck. Living debt free isn’t about the amount of money you have, it’s the amount of money you spend.

*I do think that in some situations it is better to rent than to buy. I disagree with the idea that buying over renting is either always better or absolutely necessary.

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