T1,

A few months ago I celebrated the end of your monthly letters. Hoo-rah! I felt like I had released myself from some sort of self-assigned torture. It wasn’t torture to write about you, or take pictures of you, or simply revel in how marvelously cute you are, it was the idea that I felt I absolutely had to do it each month and that if I missed a month I was a failure of a mother. Or at least, a failure of a mommy blogger. Do you think it would be possible for you to live life in a way that you don’t spend as much time as I do comparing yourself to others and feeling like you come up short? I would highly advise doing so.

Last week we went to the park to play and I realized that I really wanted to write one of these updates again. Was releasing myself from a schedule really all I needed to do to make this fun again?

I don’t have many photos of you playing with the other kids because you’re still in that stage where understanding and exploring the world around you is more interesting than interacting with others. Your favorite thing at the park that day was the garbage truck, which you chased around the park and excitedly pointed at. You are walking everywhere now, with very little of the stumbly babyuneveness left in your gait. You never, ever want to walk holding my hand for more than a few steps, and once you learn to talk I imagine you will frequently let me know that you can “Do it myself!’

You are wearing your pajamas here, something you do quite often because they fit your skinny little body the best. I think you look so sad drowning in normal daytime clothes for kids your age because they seem to be made for babies twice as wide as you. You are currently in a weird stage, where 12 month clothes are just barely too short, and 18 month clothes look like you are draped in a potato sack. So I buy a lot of pajama sets made by Carter’s and pair them with jeans during the day, and switch you to pajama bottoms at night. This system is so easy!

 

We very recently cut your hair again, after talking about it for weeks. I actually love the way the short locks really let your blue eyes shine.

And yes, your blue eyes are still here! Can you believe it? I can’t. I hope your hair grows in dark and your eyes stay nice and blue, because that is trait I dreamed of having in a child someday. You also are very attached to your bottle, something which I hate, but don’t have the patience/inclination to wean you off of. It has turned into a pacifier of sort for you,  and I don’t look forward to the day when we officially have to say goodbye for good. You’re so busy though that I can’t imagine you sitting still long enough to get the nutrition you need without a bottle stuffed in your mouth! I guess we’ll face that beast when it comes.

 

I very rarely get headshots of you like this, because you are always running, running, running. Sonmetimes I stroke your head over and over and tell you “You’re so beautiful” and “You’re so pretty” because you really are so unbelievably sweet that I have a hard time believing I made you. I admit you don’t look or act anything like I imagined you would, but that’s a good thing in your case because I like you even better than I liked my old imaginary baby.

 

Funny/cute things you do include:

Talking nonsense, and responding so excitedly when I talk nonsense back to you

Waving your arms up and down in the air and making noises like a monkey

Stopping whatever you are doing and messing your pants, sometimes embarassing me with how public your display is

Leaning forward and touching our foreheads together

Posing for pictures (hooray for you not being sick of my camera yet!)

Hours of Peek-A-Boo Barn played on my iPhone/iPad

Placing a blanket over your head and waiting for me to say “Where’s T1? Where’s T1″, pulling the blanket off and laughing when I yell “There he is!”

 

You eat all of your vegetables, and pretty much everything that I set in front of you and it makes me SO PROUD. I hope you grow up to be open-minded and willing to try new things throughout life and I feel like this is a first step.

 

Not so awesome things you do include:

Whining about everything. You whine a lot, and even your aunt and grandpa have mentioned that they are surprised by how worked up you always seem to be. If you don’t get your way, you let me know how unhappy you are

Using your bottle as a “paintbrush”. I don’t know if there is any surface in the house that isn’t covered with milk

Whining for food, and then taking said food and breaking it up into tiny pieces and throwing it on the ground

 

 

You still aren’t talking yet, but I have high hopes that it’s going to happen soon. I can see you thinking about it, and I can see you trying to figure out how to make the right sounds to let me know what you want. I’m going to be right by your side, cheering you on every day until that happens (will you please start with mama?). Then, you’ll meet that elusive talking goal and we’ll move on to a new one, and I’ll be right next to you as your biggest cheerleader once again. Thanks for being patient with me as I figure out this new mom thing. You’re a roller coaster for sure, but I don’t want to get off this wild and crazy ride anytime soon.

Also: