19 Mar

T2 at 1 Month

Posted by Jenna, Under baby

1 Month

Nicknames: Mah-ree-ree, Fuzzy Lumpkin, Sweetie Pie
Temperament: You are a very easy baby. As long as you are fed, changed, and burped, you are good to go.
Things I Could Do Without: You have a pretty severe nipple preference (you like the bottle better) and sometimes I can’t get you to latch at all.
Things You Could Do Without: The moment where you get out of the bath, your brother (literally) jumping on you, having both of your arms swaddled in the miracle blanket at night, tummy time.
Item/Toy We Love The Most: The glider. It’s so wonderful to snuggle up with you and rock back and forth as you coo and snore.
Item/Toy You Love The Most: The Moby. It’s soft and warm and you get to do your favorite thing in the world, which is sleep on me.
Things I’m Loving Most Right Now: That I’ve been able to relax and enjoy the time you’ve spent nursing, all of your darling smiles, treating you like a little doll and getting you dressed.
Things You’re Loving Most Right Now: Mom’s chest (for eating sometimes, and sleeping always), dad’s face (you smile so big whenever he is around you).


01week 02weeks 03weeks04weeks

M,

I want to write, long, detailed letters to you relishing every moment. Because we do, we relish the time spent with you. You’re such a sweetheart. But being the second baby means there just isn’t time for that. I don’t know if you’ll have kids someday, but if you do, and you have more than one, you’ll understand.

The good news is, we made most of our mistakes with your brother. Hopefully we’ll consistently be running a tight ship over the coming years. This will benefit you in some ways, but make you mad in others (we learned our lesson the hard way when it comes to unlimited screen time and what it does to young kids).

I would definitely characterize you as the prototypical easy second baby. I’m still not sure if this is because your temperament/personality are different, or because our expectations and abilities were so far improved. You go down really easy and sleep a lot, and when you’re awake there are lots of smiles.

The thing that sticks out most in my mind is how much bigger you are than your brother was at the same age. We starved him trying to exclusively breastfeed, and I wonder if it took him a lot longer than I realized to make up for those lost ounces? You received formula less than 72 hours after birth, and the pictures above show how well you’ve been growing ever since. You’ve outgrown your newborn wardrobe faster than I thought possible. There is an upside to this though – I get to dress you in new outfits every day! It’s going to be really tough for me to keep myself from spending all of our money on your wardrobe. I’m working to improve at putting together cute outfits combining pieces for boys and pieces for girls so that you can wear some of your older brother’s things as well.

Speaking of your brother, he adores you. He says “I wanna hold her” and “He’s so cute!” (we’re working on using the correct pronouns right now) and “I love Maw-wee” all day long. He feeds you, helps me change you, and wants to wash you when you’re in the bath. I know there will be rough times, but I’m looking forward to watching your relationship develop over time.

I think the thing we, as your parents, say the most about you is “What do you think she’s going to be like? What will she look like? Will she get mom’s eyelashes and dad’s nose? Mom’s skin and dad’s metabolism?” It’s going to be such a treat to see how it all unfolds.

Love,

Mama

14 Comments


  1. What a sweetheart! She really does look like T1 so much. You make beauties!

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  2. Beautiful letter. From one Mama to another.

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  3. Oh, those squishy cheeks! She is adorable.

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  4. She is so sweet. :)

    And I’m sorry, I’ve got to comment on the above. We totally make mistakes with our kids! And isn’t it right to learn from them and try not to repeat them?

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    Jenna Reply:

    I decided to delete those comments. What parent goes around claiming they didn’t make mistakes with their first kid? My parents told me that on a regular basis growing up.

    I need to remember that this is MY space. Not everyone gets to invade it with their critical views (that aren’t in the least constructive).

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    Megan Reply:

    I may be wrong but I think it is less what you’re saying ( that parents learn from the mistakes they make with their 1st child… Of course they do!) and more the flippant way you say it (or at least the flippant way it comes across).

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  5. I figured someone would jump on that. My parents openly admitted that parenting with my brother (19 months younger) was so much easier because they’d made all their mistakes with me. On the flipside, he had to wear lots of pink because that what his hand-me-downs were, hahaha. Seriously, though, I think anyone who said they were perfect from the get-go is deluded or lying.

    I think there’s a big difference between constructive criticism and people being nasty for the sake of it. I think you take constructive criticism really well these days (I think you were just younger in the past, I am the same age as you and even two years ago I was far more defensive than I am these days…so I mean that in the nicest possible way!), which is admirable but you don’t have to take people being the proverbial just because it entertains them.

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  6. I probably could have phrased my comment better, and I do apologize for that. I typed it up quickly in frustration. It seems from your blog (I know, I know you don’t get the whole picture from a blog), that you have a preference for your daughter. I’m not necessarily saying there is anything wrong with this. I think every parent secretly has a favorite child, but trust me, coming from someone that wasn’t the favorite child, it sucks when parents are overt about these feelings! My brother was (and still is) the favorite in our family. Little things such as comparing your kids, or saying “oh your brother is being so quiet. Why can’t you be quiet too?” can really mess with a little kids head. I would recommend reading Siblings Without Rivalry. It is a great book that talks a lot about this subject.

    http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0393024415

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  7. Jenna, she is really lovely, and I totally agree that one makes mistakes on the first kid that you can hopefully correct in the second, and heck, I sometimes need to remind myself that my challenging preschooler was once my sweet infant and that my sweet infant will inevitably one day be a challenging preschooler/tween/teen, etc.

    That said, the little offhand comments about whose metabolism she will inherit makes me so nervous. I have a feeling you’ve already thought through what it is going to take to raise a happy, healthy confident daughter with positive body image, so let me just encourage you to please, guard her little mind from anything remotely negative about her body as long as you can. And know that she will be watching so closely how you eat, exercise, and what your relationship with food is. Give her healthy examples.

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    Jenna Reply:

    In my family we talk about Andersen thighs and Forester freckles and B_____ hair. My daughter will grow up in a house where her mother has to work really hard to lose and maintain weight. If she gets his metabolism she’ll be a lucky lucky girl.

    Pressuring our girls about their looks a la the dad in Little Miss Sunshine is an asshole move. But acknowledging that my metabolism sucks and telling her she is lucky/unfortunate to have whatever she gets will just be the way we talk in our house. When my husband goes to Poland they poke his belly and tell him he’s going to get fat. When I go after I’ve lost weight they tell me not to get too skinny. I’m not sure the American way of being terrified to talk about weight/fat/looks is the best (then again I don’t agree with most of the things America at large does, we are absolutely convinced that our way is the only way).

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    Rachel Reply:

    I too have a daughter and give plenty of thought to how to raise her. It’s something that scares me about raising a girl that I don’t want to give her any complexes about her body, or eating habits, either by my own example or by things that I say. I even try hard to give her compliments (and continue to do so as she gets older) that don’t reference just her looks.

    I am trying really hard to ensure my daughter tries all food, for example, even the things that I hate. I try and give her balanced food and incorporate active time every day into our daily routine. I am also encouraging her to get involved with our cooking each day, at the moment by sitting watching us from her high chair, in time by getting involved.

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    Hannah Reply:

    I can’t believe you just said ‘asshole’ haha!

    Look, I grew up in a house with a mother who had been a model in the 60s and a dad who was slim and athletic until he hit his 50s (even then, he’s still slim, but his brothers and sisters are all naturally heavy) and yet I ended up with a crap metabolism and and even worse relationship with food, yay for genetic lottery!

    My parents never tread on eggshells about weight but they didn’t idealise being thin, either. Being Australian and Jewish (culturally similar to Europeans) so if I was carrying lots of weight from emotional eating they’d help me get it in check and the periods in high school when I was underweight they equally kept it in check. It’s all about balance…

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    Hannah Reply:

    I meant to say being Australian and Jewish, they were blunt, but they were balanced and never cruel. My relationship with food and emotional issues had nothing to do with my upbringing – my ability to manage and recognise is came from my parents’ open dialogue about weight. If they had said nothing on the ‘heavy’ end of the scale i would have just continued to binge and simultaneously use food as a bandaid and punish myself with it.

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    Jenna Reply:

    I gained 50 pounds in college and had NO idea where I was headed. I couldn’t see what I was doing to myself. I changed when my parents talked to me about it. It was painful to hear, but it needed to be said. I was prediabetic. Now I’m not. Yay!

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