11 Oct

The 5th Anniversary

Posted by Jenna, Under Married Life

IMG_3770-Edit-Edit

The 5th year saw dramatic changes. We’re settling in a new place, literally and figuratively. I’m discovering new sides of him, he’s becoming acquainted with new sides of me (sometimes for better, sometimes for worse). If I’m being completely honest, I will admit that I struggled to find a wedding picture to share. I’m having a hard time separating our wedding day from our Mormonism, and there are a lot of feelings to sort through in that area. One thing I do know – I would never wish away a path that led me to him. Whatever forever means, I’m so glad we are sharing it with each other.

24 Comments


  1. Happy 5th Anniversary!

    Reply

    1
  2. Congratulations!! And kind of an appropriate picture, because isn’t the fifth anniversary wood?

    Reply

    Jenna Reply:

    We have never paid attention to those. I told TH no gifts this year (I don’t really know that we have done gifts in the past) and he was thrilled. I can’t imagine what it would do to him if I said we had to start following the made-up guidelines for gifts, haha.

    Reply

    2
  3. Congratulations!

    Whether your religion stays the same or not, we all end up with some point where we look back on our wedding pictures and feel like they no longer represent all of the parts of ourselves. It’s part of growing and changing and becoming hopefully better, fuller people. It’s also the miracle of photography – to be able to capture ourselves, just as we were, for better or for worse, at any point in our lives. Who you were isn’t who you are isn’t who you will be, so just rejoice in the fact that you can break new ground together.

    Reply

    Stefanie Reply:

    I like this comment :)

    Reply

    Jenna Reply:

    This is lovely.

    And I hope I don’t sound like I think I own the market on change, reconciliation, regret, growth, etc. I understand that everyone goes through something similar at different stages of life. I think it has been particularly difficult for me because it never crossed my mind that this is where I would be right now. I’m glad I’m here, but it’s shocking.

    Reply

    Laura Reply:

    Wow. What a really wonderful comment, Ellie. Clearly it is resonating with folks. I know it struck a chord with me, and was just about exactly what I needed to hear today (without evening knowing it). Thanks!

    Reply

    3
  4. Congratulations Jenna! Happy happy 5th anniversary. It’s a special milestone, and I hope you have an opportunity to celebrate, even if it’s a small simple one at home.

    This was a beautiful post.

    You two have been through so much together, and I can see from the responses in one of your recent posts, how difficult it can be to share something so personal, (leaving the LDS Church,) in an online presence, when there are so many people who are ready to pounce. However, I think you have such a powerful journey to share.

    You’ve inspired me. Keep going you!

    Reply

    Jenna Reply:

    Someday Kate. I would love to write it all out.

    When I get particularly frustrated I get itching to type, but writing it out of spite isn’t the best idea.

    Reply

    4
  5. Congratulations! That’s a very good attitude to have. I met my husband through a post-breakup fling after I left my abusive ex-husband. As much as it pains me to have that association, I never regret that I met him, even if it was through an emotionally painful experience. All our paths can lead us to bigger and better things

    Reply

    5
  6. Happy anniversary! We’re on year 5 too!

    Reply

    6
  7. Beautiful! That last line is so lovely and moving!

    Reply

    8
  8. Happy anniversary! We just celebrated our 10th and it has gotten better and better!

    Reply

    9
  9. Happy Anniversary! I think it is so inspiring that you have been able to walk a path like this, together, when such different things brought you together to begin with.

    We aren’t big on presents for specific events/anniversaries, either. I’d rather get treated like a princess every day. Joking, kinda.

    Reply

    10
  10. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary, Jenna! It’s crazy to think that five years went by so quickly! :)

    Reply

    11
  11. Congratulations, Jenna!

    Reply

    12
  12. That’s good that you feel that way. Tyler felt that had he not been LDS he wouldn’t have met me and so since he didn’t believe in that religion anymore, he didn’t believe in our marriage anymore. According to John Dehlin, his feelings are not at all uncommon in those departing from their LDS life. Kudos for recognizing the good and not rejecting your past because your feelings have changed. Life is a journey.

    Reply

    Jenna Reply:

    I have heard of this sentiment and it’s something I don’t understand at all. I would be devastated if S told me that’s how he felt. I wish there was a stronger marriage counseling program within the church, something similar to what Catholics do.

    Reply

    Natalie Reply:

    I’m unfamiliar with the counseling program of the Catholic church. Can you elaborate?

    Reply

    Jenna Reply:

    This article talks about it a little bit: http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-02-22/news/ct-x-premarital-counseling-20120222_1_premarital-counseling-crisis-counseling-premarital-program

    Engaged couples are required to go through a program before they can get married in the Catholic Church

    Reply

    13
  13. I love this. I wish I could know you in real life. :)

    Reply

    14
  14. Have you considered having another wedding? A vowel renewal for your 6th anniversary. A renewal where TH’s family can attend and be welcomed, where your kids can watch you guys profess love for each other. This will separate the things you vowed to each other, and the things that involved the Mormon Church. Just you and TH standing side by side and vowing to love each other forever.

    You guys aren’t the same people now. You’re much different people, and a vow renewal ceremony would reflect that despite your changing values you still love each other very much.

    Reply

    Jenna Reply:

    I think about this a lot. I think we will do something in the next 5 years.

    Reply

    15


Leave a Reply

      I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
  • Archives


That Wife
All rights reserved © 2008-2014

I am a HowJoyful Design by Joy Kelley