After Bologna, was Florence. We slept in at Aemilia, grabbed a taxi, and made our way to the train station. After our last overwhelming experience at the Bologna train station we had a better handle on how to read the schedule, and we made arrived in Florence late in the afternoon (the trip flew by for me because I was busy listening to the first Hunger Games book (I learned from this trip that starting a REALLY good book when you are vacationing with someone else is a mistake, as I started to prefer spending time with my headphones in to spending time with my adorable travel companion, ooops))).

We checked in to our hotel on Monday evening with just shy of 48 hours to explore. At the front desk were told that due to a strike, we wouldn’t be able to see David and some of the other must-see attractions of the area.

Would you like to know a secret? We were secretly relieved. This allowed us to spend time on our vacation doing the things that we like, not worrying about making sure we somehow pleased everyone else by doing what was popular. I’m glad we learned this lesson now, because we hopefully have lots of vacations ahead of us and we’re going to enjoy them much more if we plan them according to our own interests and desires. After learning about the strike we spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and trying to figure out how we would spend our time over the next few days.

My favorite part about our time in Florence was the two runs I decided to go on. Running through the ancient streets of Florence, over the bridges and into the residential areas of the city felt amazing. Taking workout clothes and shoes was a bit burdensome, but if you’re a runner I would recommend making some space in your suitcase the next time you go on vacation because the experience can be so exhilarating.

The next morning or our only full day in Florence was eaten up by our attempts to figure out whether we needed to get an international driver’s permit to rent a car. We had secured them before our tip, but ended up leaving them in Chicago, with no time to have them rushed over the Atlantic to us. A nice gentleman in the government office helped answer our questions, with him speaking just enough English, and me speaking just enough Italian to understand each other. We ended up walking away empty-handed, and took the risk of hefty fines during our time driving throughout Italy. It’s a relatively recent law and thus not very well known, but if you’re planning a trip to Italy make sure you read up on licensing requirements and fees if you are caught driving with an international permit.

The sidewalks of Florence are very narrow, making walking side-by-side difficult, and causing us to step off to the side whenever we passed anyone else. I find it charming.

I admire street artists. So much work, no money, all for a temporary masterpiece.

This couple’s pose may be a bit graphic for some, but I found it to be rather romantic. Sitting on ancient steps drinking in the presence of the one you love most? Ohh la la.

Most of our day was spent walking and exploring, with our late afternoon time devoted to drinking in the beauty that is the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore and surrounding area.

It’s perfect for people watching, and the level of detail throughout is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

I saw a man taking pictures of bicycles zooming past, and I realized he was attempting to capture a portrait with motion blur. It looked fun, and so I started attempting the same thing. Just as I pulled my camera down and started to walk away, this couple on the right rode by. She was sitting on the handlebars laughing hysterically as they weaved in and out of the crowd. It was everything you think of when you imagine the romance to be experienced in Italy.

The next morning, our last day there, we slept in (part of our “This is our vacation now!” commitment) and walked over to climb the duomo. The line was long, so we chose to climb Giotto’s Campanile instead. I think it was 6 euros a person, and the climb was long and the stairway cramped, but the beautiful views are worth it.

We didn’t know anything about the climb going in, and it’s a funny experience because you climb up a step of cramped winding stairs and emerge into the sun thinking “Wow, we’re already at the top!”. Then you realize you’re at one floor.. of many, many floors. I liked watching people emerge from the upward climb onto each floor, because you could tell many of them had the same experience we did.

After the climb we went back to the hotel, packed up our stuff, and picked up our teeny tiny rental car. Our destination? A little slice of paradise.

My first change is subtle and nuanced, but the decision to alter my thinking regarding the type of media I watch is a change I’m looking forward to. To understand the change that has happened, reading this post on my media standards is essential. In short, I’ve decided to watch my first R-rated movie. (I have watched “clean” version of R rated films like Amelie, Memento, Man on Fire, but those are difficult to find because movie studios have said they don’t want people editing the films to clean them up.)

I was reading through the things I wrote previously, and when I say out loud that I’ve decided to watch R-rated movies now it sounds much more dramatic than it is. My standards for violence, profanity, and sexuality haven’t changed all that much. What is dramatic is that I’ve decided not to worry about what is said in the Strength of Youth pamphlet when I choose what to watch. Previously, I read what was said about movies (or other things in that pamphlet) and made my list of what I should or shouldn’t do, and that was it. Now, I make my own list.

You know what I’ve always wanted to watch? Schindler’s List. But I never did because it was rated R, and I wanted to hold on to the statement that I had never seen a rated R movie. Not because I thought it made me “better” in some Mormon sense, but because I wanted to be able to tell my kids that I had done it, and they could to. Now I guess I will tell them that I’d like them to follow my example through high school, and that I think they will likely be better off for it, but once they are in college and developing their critical thinking skills it’s up to them.

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Over the past several months I’ve experienced what is best described as an Awakening. I opened myself up to possibilities different than what I was raised in, and my world turned upside down. Those who have followed me for a long time know that I’ve always been a firm absolutist, and I attribute that to my upbringing. Not my parents exclusively, but the small-town, conservative, Mormon culture that I came from. Is this the experience for all Mormons? Of course not. There are many millions of us, and we come from a variety of backgrounds and experiences that shape our views in a variety of ways.

In some respect it’s been a long journey, initiated by classes at BYU like Intro to Women’s Studies and The Gospel and World Religions. Casual reading of By Common Consent and Feminist Mormon Housewives introduced me to alternative ways of thinking. A few months ago I started listening to some podcasts like Mormon Matters, Mormon Stories, Mormon Expressions, and Daughters of Mormonism and the doors were thrown open. I’ve never felt “brainwashed” in the LDS Church (even though I know there are those who would argue otherwise) but it’s very much an environment where  you are simultaneously expected to rely on God speaking to you personally while sustaining the leaders of the Church (and this is often interpreted as “If you feel like God tells you something contrary to what the leaders say, you need to ask again until you get the right answer”).

Once I allowed myself to question a few things, the dam burst and I started questioning everything. It was so freeing! Now when we hear something That Husband and I turn to each other and ask “How would you interpret that?” and “What do you think about that?” We talk things over, sometimes coming to a conclusion, sometimes not. We search, develop theories, talk them over with our friends, revise, and commit to learning more. It’s so liberating!

I wanted to write a series “coming out” on four major topics where I’ve experienced dramatic reversals in my thinking because I want to continue to be genuine and honest with you. I want to share my perspective on some of the deeper meanings of life, and I can’t do that if it constantly leads people to say “But you said X 3 years ago and why is that different than what you are saying now?”

I admit that this almost prevented me from speaking out. The fear that I would be attacked for… changing my mind. For educating myself and growing and developing. The worry that I would spend my time deleting comments asking me how it feels to realize how wrong and stupid and ignorant I was.

This sort of discourse is not productive, and I hope that my fears will be unfounded. I hope that by writing about these shifts in my thinking I will come into contact with those who encourage me to continue thinking critically. I hope that those who might feel threatened by one of their own speaking out about sensitive issues will engage with me respectfully that we all can represent our faith in a positive way. I think this fear of mine has come from the political rhetoric we see so frequently in the media right now in the run up to election season. I know we don’t want politicians to do a 180 after we elect them, but at this point we aren’t even allowing someone to change their mind within their entire lifetime! I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not hypocritical or wrong to change my position on any given topic. I’m not running for political office which happily means I can switch positions whenever it feels right for me based on my knowledge and experience.

Some of these topics I’m going to cover are things that I’ve written about in the past, and the way I wrote about them or the positions that they took were hurtful. I never intended harm. I’ve long thought, and still do believe, that the best approach in life is to think critically and pick a position that feels right to you, only know that I’ve made this move toward Relativism I am much less likely to say “I’m right and thus you must be wrong”, and instead think “I’ve thought about this, and based on everything I know this is what seems right to me.”

Right now my belief about the LDS church can be summed up by a statement I heard on one of the podcasts I’ve been listening to:

The LDS Church is the truest church, but not true enough.

This is why I want to speak out, because I think we can do better. In some small way, these posts will be my way of paying it forward, because I would not have reached this place if other before me had not stood up to say they had questions they were still seeking out answers for. I look forward to sharing and conversing with you via four separate posts with you over the coming weeks regarding my evolving beliefs and my move away from Absolutism, toward Relativism.

I’ve loved this fashion series, and I can now understand why so many women put up pictures of their outfits online. I like the suggestions you provide, and I looooove when people say they like a clothing item I have. I don’t have a lot of confidence when it comes to fashion, but I feel like this series has helped me to take risks and explore interesting combinations. The best change has been my move away from wearing so much black. This certainly coincides with my weight loss, but I agree that I look so much better in tones that aren’t quite so harsh.

I have decided to make a change though, and move away from using the phrase Fashionably Modest to describe these posts. As you can see, this one is titled Style Files. Certainly not original, but I felt like devoting my brain power to other areas instead of coming up with a unique title.

I made this switch because I’ve recently become disillusioned with the way modesty is interpreted in the LDS Church, the way this interpretation generates shame, and how it is often used as an excuse for judging someone else’s choices. And being modest isn’t just about clothes, it’s about homes and cars and lifestyles too. I don’t know what the exact definition of a modest lifestyle is, I guess it would be different for each person, but it’s something I’d like to work toward and I think using it as a title for a series on what clothing I wear reinforces the idea that it’s about nothing more than not wearing a low-cut top or a skirt above the knees. It’s something I’m still working through.

I’m not changing the way I dress, just the way I interpret and use the term modest.

Shirt: Ann Taylor, thrifted
Jacket: thrifted
Jeans: Not Your Daughters
Shoes: Born

I have a thing for vests lately. I want to buy more of them.

I’m also going to stop attaching prices to the description of my items. I’m tired of keeping track of what things cost and looking them up for my posts, so from now on you’ll just see where I found the item, and possibly the brand.

Oh, and I’ve taken a few pictures of T1 in a few of my favorite outfits he has. I think those “mini style files” posts will be really cute.

Bologna is sometimes referred to as “la grassa” in reference to its cuisine. It has a fantastic food district to wander around in, and we were engulfed by several tourist groups while strolling the streets around Tamburini (a deli/cafeteria style dining place lots of foodies rave about, but we didn’t end up eating there). It is this reputation for having the richest, most delicious food in all of Italy that had me waffling back and forth between Bologna and Parma while planning. Bologna won because my mom had been before and said the shopping was great (though I personally found it to be much better in Florence), and because of its proximity to the airport we would be flying in and out of.

Our first meal was at Caminetto D’oro. We dined on:

Fishy bread, tomato, basil
Zucchini salad with apple slices and parmesan. This was insanely simple and incredibly delicious, I need to remember to try to replicate this at home.
Ham from Parma with a variety of breads.
Homemade pasta with seasonal mushrooms.

This was a fantastic way to start off our trip! The food was simple, yet inventive. We walked out of there feeling like coming to Bologna was the best idea we’d ever had.

 9 out of 10 stars for D’oro.

A note about Italian bread:

Before I forget to tell you, Italian bread is very dry and hard, nothing like what you find in restaurants in America. My reading suggests that the tradition of making it this way developed when the salt tax was very high, and so bakers made their bread with very little salt. Over time the Italians grew used to having their bread this way. I haven’t been to the south, and I know the north and the south are very different, so this might not be the case down in Palermo?

On our way back we saw a bunch of locals crowded around Stefino Gelato, and realized we hadn’t met our quota of one gelato/day.

They spoke almost no English, but I looked up the word for wafer and we did our best to guess at what we would like. I chose Bacio, which is basically Nutella. TH had something called Cuba, a mixture of vanilla, cream, and rum. It was 2 euros for a small, and though I wouldn’t go out of my way just to go there, if you eat at Caminetto D’oro it’s a nice place to get dessert afterward.

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