Day 25 of NaBloPoMo: Married to Amazement
I never could have fully appreciated my own mother and her sacrifices for me unless I had children of my own. I’ve always loved my mom in the way that children love the person who gave them life, but now as a mother I love her as a compatriot. She is a retired general, and I am an infrantrywoman. The battle is for the future of our genetics and our legacy. I take that responsibility seriously, following the code of morals that her parents were taught when they were small.
I can see now that much of my mom’s life was devoted to trying to help me find happiness, often at the expense of her own. It probably wasn’t enjoyable to live in a trailer at the county fair for a week, with careless kids dragging remnants of the pig barn in and out of the tiny space each time they mounted the stairs. I loved those weeks; the snuggling with the clean pigs in their pen, competing after months of practice, the night when she let me run wild with my friends at the carnival. That is one tiny example of many which illustrate what a great childhood I had because of my mother.
I struggle with this, the self-sacrifice for children. She is close enough to me to be able to step in and remind me what it’s all about. And every so often she gives me the gift of a week off, time I deeply, deeply, wholeheartedly appreciate. I come back from those periods with a well of strength that allows me to dig a little deeper, to be a little bit more like the mother I had as a child.