Last week I revealed on Instagram that we’ve had a nanny since T2 was born. She works part-time in the mornings and when she is here I do all of the things that are infinitely harder (or impossible) with two children. Grocery shopping, haircuts, blogging, wasting time on Facebook, working out, errands, making myself lunch. On Wednesdays I pack up the kids and we go on adventures around the Bay because I’m not stressing about the mountain of things on my to-do list.

Having help makes me a better parent.

We talk frequently about how hiring her is one of the best investments we’ve ever made. When That Husband comes home on the weekends he can go to work on Saturday (without me feeling overwhelmed at the thought of managing the kids all by myself for yet another day) and we can spend time together as a family on Sunday. Otherwise I’d constantly be handing the kids over to him and declaring that it was his turn. There would be little to no couple-time or family-time. It has been the best possible thing we could do for our marriage and stress levels after having another baby.

I don’t reflect on the experience without constantly thinking about how lucky we are. There are plenty of families who do much more than we are without any help at all. I know having any paid childcare help is a great luxury, and I am very grateful for that. Read more →

March 6th 2013.

T2 is exactly one month old. T1 is one month shy of his 3rd birthday.

The first waking of the night happens around 2 am.

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T1 started his life out sleeping in a First Years Close and Secure Sleeper (it actually goes in your bed and I plan on using it with T2 as well), moved into the swing, and then transitioned to a pack-n-play at 4 months. Until October of 2012 he slept alone in a crib, and then we decided to potty train, which meant he needed to be in a bed where he was freely able to use the bathroom whenever he needed (of course, he still won’t go pee alone, but that will come with time I hope!). I liked the Montessori approach that puts the mattress directly on the floor, which meant we didn’t have to buy a bed frame, he would be able to easily get in and out of bed (and he loves being able to lay on his side and play with his trains as he goes to sleep!), and also gave us the space to keep the futon in his room that we use for guests and reading books.

On October 20th we put him in a big boy bed for the first time.

The first few nights, he came out a few times to ask for milk* or tell us he had to go to the bathroom again, but things were going surprisingly well. I thought maybe this was it. He was both potty-trained and sleeping in his own bed at night!

Ha!

Two weeks later, he started coming into our bed in the middle of the night. He was starting in his own bed, but then I’d be tapped by a little hand in the middle of the night asking to sleep in mama’s bed.

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I haven’t changed a diaper since September. How awesome is that? Of course right back in the thick of it, but it’s very nice to know I’m only going to be managing the diaper needs of one little tushie instead of two.

I didn’t even attempt to potty train back in Chicago because we had carpet throughout our entire apartment, the carpet was brand new when we moved in, and the replacement cost was something like $2000 (they don’t replace portions, only the entire thing at once). So I knew we would wait until we had moved out of there to give it a try. My mom really wanted him out of diapers for the 6 weeks that he would be living with my parents while I went back to school, so I decided to give the 3 Day Potty Training method a try for the just-over-72-hours that I would be in Washington before leaving T1 and TH behind and moving down to Utah for the last half of the summer. I want to stress that I didn’t think this was necessarily the greatest idea (to potty train and then leave right away for a long period of time) but my mom was doing us a huge favor and I felt like this was a small way to say thank you to her. It felt like it wasn’t going to hurt anything to at least try.

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My mom left yesterday evening, TH is still on paternity leave, and my sister comes on Wednesday for just shy of a week, so maybe I should wait to write this out until I’ve managed things on my own for a bit but…

I was terrified to have two. It felt so overwhelming and I had no idea how I was going to manage any of it, with or without help. I know it’s going to get hard when it’s just me and two young children on the afternoons and nights during the week, but I can see how it’s possible. There will be lots of tantrums from T1, T2 will sometimes have to wait (T1 is learning this lesson already), and I might not ever get anywhere on time, but it’s possible.

Hopefully writing that out will buoy me up in a few weeks when I’m a hormonal, lonely, overwhelmed, sobbing mess dealing with two children who refuse to sleep the way I need them to in order to stay sane.

Here is a similar picture of T1 right after birth if you’d like to compare! Read more →