My mom left yesterday evening, TH is still on paternity leave, and my sister comes on Wednesday for just shy of a week, so maybe I should wait to write this out until I’ve managed things on my own for a bit but…

I was terrified to have two. It felt so overwhelming and I had no idea how I was going to manage any of it, with or without help. I know it’s going to get hard when it’s just me and two young children on the afternoons and nights during the week, but I can see how it’s possible. There will be lots of tantrums from T1, T2 will sometimes have to wait (T1 is learning this lesson already), and I might not ever get anywhere on time, but it’s possible.

Hopefully writing that out will buoy me up in a few weeks when I’m a hormonal, lonely, overwhelmed, sobbing mess dealing with two children who refuse to sleep the way I need them to in order to stay sane.

Here is a similar picture of T1 right after birth if you’d like to compare! Read more →

T1 started preschool back in September of 2012, shortly after we moved to Palo Alto. We knew it was the right time to put him in school because of the way he responded to church nursery time, and because we thought it would advance his language skills as he was forced to navigate a new environment and voice his needs. He was 2 1/2 (29 months) when he started.

Obviously things like safety and loving caregivers were our top priority; price, location, and schedule were also determining factors. I’m not so married to a certain school of thought when it comes to preschool education that I was ruling things out automatically based on the style. I love the idea of Montessori for young children (as of right now we’re thinking public school once our kids hit kindergarten) but the nearby options were well outside our budget or distance I was willing to travel. I also wanted to find a place with full-day options because I didn’t like the idea of dropping him off and then picking him up 2-3 hours later. The commute looked like it would be at least 15 minutes one-way and that’s not a lot of time to get anything done (I don’t know about you, but I work best when I have long chunks of time to attack my to-do list).

The place we chose is called Children’s Pre-school Center (CPSC for short) and it fit all three of my criteria regarding price/location/schedule. A commute that isn’t too bad (I’m able to avoid rush hour freeway traffic if I take a side road), drop-off as early as 7:15 am (though it’s closer to 10am by the time I get us out of the house) with pick-up at 6:15 pm, and a price that worked for us. He would be grouped in a room by age, and would be one of the oldest kids in his classroom.

I liked that I could pack his lunch and they would reheat as needed. I liked that they would allow him to be in diapers/pull-ups (we were going to potty train him right before he started and didn’t know how successful it would be). I like that they have “sports time” with Mr. Dave on Wednesday mornings. I liked that it was play based and that the weekly themes for the classroom activities were based on interests shown by the children (for example, they did a babies week because several of the little girls love to spend time playing with baby dolls). I most loved that they could get him to nap! Something I can’t do on my own no matter what I try (unless it’s going for long drive or walks in the stroller).

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As T2 and I made our way across the stage at my undergraduate convocation I felt overwhelmed. My family contributed so much to make this happen and I can’t thank them enough.

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I have had this post sitting in my drafts folder for so long that I don’t even know when this picture was taken! It’s fun to see my bald-headed baby doing superman style exercises on the floor. Look at this recent Instagram photo to see how much he has changed!

This post I’ve had lingering at the back of my mind for over a year now is about babies and schedules and relaxing.

Having a baby is really overwhelming, especially the first time. I couldn’t sit down or stand up or lay down without being reminded that my vagina had almost been ripped in half. I wasn’t producing enough milk (but didn’t know it) so my poor kid screamed non-stop and was half-starved in his first weeks of life. T1 didn’t sleep through the night until 7 months, when I finally decided it was time to put him down full of formula, shut the door, and let him cry it out (he is a champion sleeper now, and has been since then).  Read more →

Soccer mom?

Going out to California last month was a bit of a wake-up call for me. All of the women that I met were so incredibly accomplished! One of them actually worked as a anesthesiologist, and then decided to become a lawyer. How awesome is that?!?! I was surrounded by consultants and lawyers and people working at promising start-ups and women who have young children now but who did those things before they had children and are taking a short break.

Me? I graduated from high school, went to college and shopped majors until I settled on one that’s part of the humanities, which virtually guarantees me a tiny salary if I decide to go to work (they really need to post that Georgetown Study in big letters in college advisement centers across the country). Oh yeah, and I technically haven’t even graduated yet! Marking “some college” on forms is always a thrill.

This summer I’m moving past the college graduation hurdle, but I don’t have immediate plans to pursue a career which means I’m slated  to continue to show up at cocktail parties embarassed about what I do. We’ll be standing in a group and my husband will introduce himself and be asked what he does. He will reply, and it will be my turn.

What’s your name? “Jenna.”

What do you do? “Oh, I’m just a mom.”

NO!

I don’t want to be that way anymore. There is no need to get in some sort of flame war arguing about who has it harder, stay-at-home-moms or working-moms, because both groups are both spending time doing something valuable throughout the day. If I decided to get a job and we hired a nanny that person would never say “I’m just a nanny.” I’ve also never heard “I’m just a doctor,” “I’m just a consultant”, or “I’m just in sales.” I’ve certainly never seen a man cast his eyes down and answer apologetically about his job.

I am choosing to do this. It is my profession. It is what I do. Arguments that posit you can only count something as a profession if you’re paying taxes or being handed a paycheck are silly and not worth paying attention to.

Next time I’m asked what I do I have a variety of responses I can give. “I stay home with my son,” or maybe “I split my time between photography and motherhood.” But you won’t hear me say “Just a mom” anymore. We as women can all lend a little more respect to our chosen vocation by showing how proud we are to be doing what we do each day.