18 Feb
Fear Of?
Well I did it, I went on my first photo shoot with a real model and real photographers. My mom met a photographer that had a shoot set up with a Vegas model who posed in exchange for photos and we were allowed to tag along. I had thought I was going to be able to borrow a friends dSLR, but I didn’t end up taking it because I realized that it’s too difficult to learn how to work a new camera in one day. So I took my G9 and tagged along behind the pros to give myself a chance to find out what I can really do.
It’s hard to feel credible when you are holding a camera that looks like a point-and-shoot, and the model glances at you with a look that says “What do you think you are doing with that camera?” I have to remind myself that this $500 camera is more than the point-and-shoot of the average joe. I’ve been working on shooting on manual, forcing myself to learn what aperture, shutter speed, ISO, and exposure really mean. My photography skills have been improving slowly, and I’m anxious to see what I can do with better equipment, but I have to be patient because lack of funds mean it’s not quite time for me to upgrade
Being in Vegas at this convention, surrounded by many of the worlds best portrait and wedding photographers has made me realize how passionate I am about photography. Instead of walking away intimidated by them, I’ve realized that I share their passion.
So what is holding me back? The first thing is definitely money, but once I get past that hurdle I still have to deal with my own fears. I tend to avoid doing things if I feel like “everyone is doing it,” and photography is definitely a hobby or profession that everyone around seems to be doing. My mom, my sister, my cousin, my other cousin, several of my high school friends, many of my college friends; they are all pursuing photography in their own way. I hate feeling like I’m joining the pack. This week That Husband helped me get past my fear of feeling cliche by reminding me that there are a lot of people who blog, and I don’t seem to be afraid to be one of millions in that area of my life.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what I am really afraid of with this, and I’ve realized that I’m not afraid of failure. I’m afraid of mediocrity. I know that I can do this, and I can do it okay, but I don’t want to settle for okay. I don’t even want to be good. I want to be great. When I do something, I want to do it all the way, and I want to do it right. Can I be great?
I just don’t really know what my true potential is. And it’s hard to wait and see. The photo below doesn’t represent what I want to be, but I think it is an accurate representation of where I am.
What holds you back? How do you get past your fears and become something great?
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
With my photography I have two fears, “Does it look good to others and not just me?” (Hence why I’m doing a photography blog) And I’m afraid to step outside of my conservative bubble, but I’m slowly getting there I think.
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1That’s one fantastic photo. I think you are pretty good now!
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2Disappointment, not of my own but of others in me. I know myself well enough to know what I like and how to get there but will others be impressed with my work and appriciate it.
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Jenna Reply:
February 21st, 2009 at 11:18 pm
This is the first time that I’ve started showing my work to people and saying “I’m trying to do something with this.” Before it has just been “Look at this cool photo I took!” The difference is really tough. I find myself paying a lot more attention to their reactions and second guessing myself because of them.
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If you want to do photography, you should do photography. Look at the support network you have to help you get started!
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4I have the same fears. This is why I have let myself stagnate working in the bookselling trade for nine years. This year, thanks to the love and support of my husband, I’m trying to make a fresh start (more on that in the future on my blog!)
Remember - everyone likes something different. If they didn’t, there wouldn’t be any crap music, rubbish movies, and awful wedding photographers! I think your pic is gorgeous, others might think it was weird or ugly - or anything. When you make it what YOU love, then that will shine through!
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Jenna Reply:
February 21st, 2009 at 11:19 pm
I’m very excited to hear what you are going to be pursuing RS!
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It’s that fear of the mediocrity that can really propel someone from adequate to genius though. That constant need to strive even better the next time and always learn and work on reaching perfection.
You have an amazing eye for pictures and your passion shines through your photography.
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6I applaud your bravery in moving forward and seeing where this takes you. There are plenty of people who would shy away, and make any number of excuses to allow them to sit on the sidelines and let opportunities pass them by. But not you. You have heart, and you have passion, and you are following your spirit. This in itself is inspiring.
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7I too am trying to maximize the power of my point-and-shoot camera with hopes of someday upgrading to a dSLR. I think the great thing about photography, especially in this digital age, is that if you take a picture you don’t like or consider “mediocre” you don’t have to share it with anyone! Delete and it’s like it never existed!
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8I too am afraid of failing. I take photos as a hobby. I’ve got a dSLR, but I don’t do pro stuff. I’m still learning. 3 different couples (all friends or family) have asked me to shoot at their weddings in the past 2 months, and I am TERRIFIED. I said I would, but it came with tons of warnings… that I was not sure my skills could be good enough, that i was terrified that I’d ruin their day… etc etc etc. So yes, fear holds me back a great deal. But come May (wedding #1) it’s time for me to see what I am made of!
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Jenna Reply:
February 21st, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Good luck. I hope to be getting requests someday myself.
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Jenna, I’ll be your model any day if you can take awesome pictures like that!
I’ve always wanted to have a ‘fun’ career, something artsy and passionate like interior design or event planning, but hold back for the same reasons as you. Instead, I stick to my boring science job, which pays the bills. Someday….
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10I, for one, happen to think you could be AWESOME! I say give it a try!!!
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11Fear of…
Well It doesn’t necessarily need to be failure- but even just the sense that when you had envisioned in your end to be the end product or end result isn’t what you thought you would get out of it.
I say just take the dive, and enjoy the ride, and see what comes of it! Meet new friends, learn a new life lesson- or maybe even something else totally unexpected will occur. Something new, dazzling or eye opening!
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12Experiencing WPPI and knowing the vast amount of photography blogs you follow, I’m sure this is nothing new to hear…BUT…being “great” in the photography world isn’t necessarily all about one’s photography. Branding and experience are a huge part of the business, and look at what you’ve already done to brand yourself in the blog world.
I’m in a similar place as you are right now. I’m seriously considering a venture into pet photography, but it still takes a lot of courage for me to even say it out loud. Money (and my constantly crashing computer) is a big part of what’s holding me back, but I’m also afraid that I won’t have what it takes to succeed with the non-photography end of the business.
I know I don’t know you personally, but you seem like the type of person who can be very successful at something when she is determined and passionate. Just sayin’.
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Jenna Reply:
February 21st, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Let’s do it together?
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I’m not a trained professional, but I do think your pictures are quite lovely. We’re always our own worst critics, however; I think you have considerable talent and potential.
Fear has a huge household in my life. I fear letting people down to the point that I collapse in tears and become angry with those I love. Even with blogging, there are times I get so discouraged- I feel if I’m not commenting I’m letting those girls down. I realize that seems silly, yet, I don’t believe that makes those feelings any less valid. I’m also held back by anything I don’t naturally excel at, because I don’t want anything to ever make me feel like I’m not good enough. I recognize these fears, and their hold on me. I work daily to move past them, however; it’s hard to knock down such big walls
I say pursue the things you love. I would, however, warn against adding something else HUGE until you get that degree! I know for me, that the more “fun” things I have in life the less I want to do the things I “need” to do. (I hope a little fun encouragement is ok!)
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14Beautiful shot! What holds me back is a) laziness and b) fear of being crap.
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15being an artist, i completely understand. my colleagues and college friends are always entering work into art shows and stuff…while i am TERRIFIED. then all these friends of mine end up winning awards or getting their stuff into museums, while i feel like a huge loser. i used to be pretty confident in my talent, but ever since i got into the art program at byu…it just feels like everyone else is better than you. i still haven’t gotten over it. i always promise myself that i’ll at least try…then i wuss out. maybe i’ll at least post some of my stuff on my blog or something.
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Jenna Reply:
February 21st, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Please do that Kace! You have such talent, I’ve always been really impressed with everything I’ve seen you do.
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Nice meeting you at WPPI!
When you love something and you pursue it with all your heart, you just have to DO IT! 
When it feels right you realize that it’s just yourself holding you back. Let’s connect the next time I’m in Dallas 
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Jenna Reply:
February 21st, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Yay! Definitely.
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I totally relate. I just wrote a post about also maybe pursuing photography as a career and fearing the same things. Perhaps we could craft some career change goals for ourselves and keep each other accountable.
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18I feel the same about my jewelry design. Right now I’m trying to set up an etsy page but something is always holding me back- i don’t have any new ideas, my pictures aren’t good enough, or my big fear - that i’m not business minded enough for this - i’ll mess up and not file something i’m supposed to and i’ll get in trouble.
But i’ve resolved to start small. One or two items on my page first, just to see if I can handle it.
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19um. that photo looks amazing. you’re really onto something. can’t wait to see what you’ll do next.
xo
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