28 Mar
Just The Cut, No Convo Please
Here’s a question for you?
When you are getting a massage, manicure, wax, haircut, etc., how do you tell the person providing your services that you don’t really feel like talking? (FYI Jill, I loved talking to you, I just don’t like talking to strangers that much)
It’s something I wonder about every single time I go into for “services”. When I’m paying $100+ to have my hair done, I feel like I should be able to sit in the chair and read trashy magazines without having to participate in conversation I don’t really care about. Except I feel like it would be rude for me to say “I don’t really feel like talking to you right now.”
I’ve heard of people bringing their ipods an keeping them in, but that seems kind of immature to me. Don’t you think it’s a “teenager” thing to seem unable to disconnect from a media source?
Are you like me? Or do you enjoy the conversation?
Also:
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
I tend to feel the same way, but I’m also usually paying about $12 for my haircut, cheapskate that I am. I had a method for avoiding conversation that worked well last time.. I brought along my friend that used to work at the salon, and all the stylists were far too busy chatting him up to worry about anything but cursory comments in my direction.
1I don’t always enjoy the conversation, especially if its a total stranger I’m just seeing one time. When it’s someone I know or have been to many times, it’s nice to chat. But on the other extreme, sometimes I want to chat a tiny bit because I feel awkward just sitting there staring at nothing for a few hours, so it bugs me when the person doesn’t say anything at all either!
I takes a while when I get my hair done. I think about these things a lot.
2I suppose I shouldn’t comment, as my hairdresser mother cuts/colors my hair for free, but when I’m getting a wax or my nails done, I enjoy the conversation. I’m naturally super verbal, and I find silence really awkward and strange. Communication is comforting to me, so I feel much more relaxed and content when people are chatting with e.
3Wow, I don’t know. I struggle with this every time. The Ipod does seem immature so I haven’t done it. Let me know if you come up with something better!
4I don’t like talking to them either, I have never had the same hairdresser more than once. I think I just try and talk and then just keep reading the magazines, that tends to work for me!
I does bug me when they talk while washing my hair, I find that the most relaxing part and don’t want to be talked to!
5I love my hair dresser, Dale. He’s a DJ, as well as a hair dresser, so he has some awesome stories about clubs and music. He’s hot, he’s totally straight, and he and I gab away about video games the whole time he cuts my hair.
So with Dale, it’s like talking with a really really good friend, who just happens to be beyond hot and funny and who can knows how to give a really good haircut. I don’t mind talking to him. In fact, I totally love talking to him. And, he gives me a hug when I leave. Dreamy.
Jenna Reply:
March 28th, 2009 at 11:07 am
This made me laugh.
I go to a lady that I know, so she talks to me a lot. It gets a bit awkward sometimes, as she is a bit nosy and I don’t appreciate that. So I do wish that I could just sit and relax, as getting my hair done feels so nice sometimes!
7I like my stylist and look forward to chatting with her. She rocks! In fact, I’ve often wondered how I can make the leap from a professional relationship to being friends outside haircuts. So awkward.
8I’m very choosy about who cuts my hair, so when i find a stylist that is right for me, I don’t change until I move out of town. I LOVE my current stylist and look forward to chatting about reality tv and people’s bad hair.
However, when I start a new stylist, I always feel annoyed by small talk. I have no solutions for you!
9I am the exact opposite; I love chatting! I find it really weird when the stylist doesn’t say a word. I mean, I don’t love constant, empty banter but some is nice. I will say, though, if the stylist keeps on chatting when you’re reading your mag, he/she is pretty clueless.
I do NOT love a chatty facial or other spa services person, however. The whole point of a spa is to relax! If someone’s blabbing during spa stuff, time to find a new lady!
10I’m an introvert so for the life of me I cannot understand how much extroverts love talking to strangers. When I was younger I was horrible at making the small talk, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve had to teach myself.
But if there’s someone I’m not in the mood to talk to, I’ll generally just give a few terse responses to answer their questions but not really leave any big openings so they can continue.
Maybe I should just start wearing a sign that says “I don’t want to talk to you today, I’m too busy in my own little world.”
11Ugh, I hate the conversation. One of the reasons I like my current hair cutter is that she just lets me stare off into space while she cuts my hair and only occasionally says things like “do you want your bangs a little shorter?”
12I know exactly how you feel. And holy cow is it the Spring that is making EVERYONE feel like they have to get their hair cut? I just had mine cut the other day.
blablover5 pretty much said it all.Seriously though, I came up with plan that if I just flat out wasn’t in the mood to talk I would put in my two cents here and there when NEEDED. But would keep pretty quite otherwise. I actually stopped seeing a LMP because she would NOT stop talking! Even after making it pretty clear I just wanted to relax.
The main thing is it’s your time. You’ve paid for it and you should get from it what you want. You could always bring a book with you.
13I would LOVE to know the answer to this too.. I HATE when they talk to me.. its always so awkward since we have nothing in common and its so short. I would like to just relax and daydream, thank you.
14Haha I usually don’t like talking to these random people either. I tend to go to different people to cut my hair, do my nails, etc. every time and there usually is some awkward small talk. If I’m really not in the mood to talk, I’ll keep my responses to questions pretty short and I won’t initiate new topics. And I think reading a mag should be a good nonverbal indicator that you actually WANT to read the mag and not talk too much to your stylist.
15I’m with Katy - I don’t always want to talk to them, but I feel so awkward if it is silent. I guess that I like having people do my hair, nails, etc. that I can actually talk to without it being awkward or else I probably won’t go back there.
I guess to communication to the person oding whatever to you is to just give a few answers but don’t try starting any conversations yourself.
16I just look down at the magazines and they generally take the hint and don’t talk much. If they ask me a question, I answer without elaborating much, smile, then look back at the magazine. Generally they get it. If not, I figure they must be really bored and talk to them!
17By far and away… the most awkward conversation is during waxing appointments. I’m sure they talk to distract from the pain and perhaps they feel awkward peeling off your hair without any kind of pleasantries. But its the worst.
My sister-in-law took me to a spa in her hometown in Australia for a wedding gift. The spa has questionnaires for clients to fill out, and you check a box on how much conversation you’d like - No talking/Information about the treatment conversation only/Plenty of conversation. We both picked the information-only level and I was so happy that they followed it! I think everywhere should do that!
Jenna Reply:
March 28th, 2009 at 11:06 am
This is such a great idea! I’m going to start recommending this to the spas/salons I go to from now on.
I like conversation! I’m a hygienist and some people hate talking to me too and some have been blunt enough to say “clean my teeth I don’t care what you have to say” (not very nice!) But if I sat there in silence with every client, I’d be bored stiff. I can imagine it’s similar for hairstylists.
19I have the same stylist and manicurist that I’ve gone to for years so I don’t mind talking with them during services. Actually I think it’s kinda awkward if you have nothing to talk about, but my problem is that I get strangers that talk to me ALL THE TIME. Those are the conversations that I don’t want to have.
When I got my digital perm I had to go to a salon I hadn’t been to before and I knew it was going to take 4 hours or more so I brought my book and for the most part the stylists just worked on my hair while I read my book. I made some small talk with them but I think they knew I wasn’t into a 4 hour conversation with them!
20Haha, I usually enjoy the convo as long as I don’t have to just listen to them ramble. I talked with my new chiro yesterday, though we disagreed about some aspects of running my photography business :).
21I know exactly what you mean. I feel all this pressure to come up with small talk, which is not my strong suit. I usually don’t mind talking to hair stylists as much as the women doing my nails, or a massage therapist because for those services, I’m there to relax and I don’t want to talk. But I’ve never found a solution, and I always worry that the people think I hate them because I’m so quiet.
22Jenna don’t worry, unless you’re really comfortable and fluent in the language you won’t have to worry about it when you get to Poland! (Whenever that may be.) If the hairdresser talks to you, you can just shrug, look confused, and say, “I don’t understand” in their language. Works like a charm. Of course, even if you are fluent you can act like you aren’t and pull the same card. =)
23I’m not a big fan of conversations during massages and haircuts. I now get my haircut by a good friend so that’s a no brainer and we don’t shut up the whole time. Back to massages, when they try to ask me questions I usually keep them kinda short (but not rude) and they figure it out after a while.
24I go to supercuts and they leave you alone for the most part. I usually just close my eyes and they don’t really say anything. It was different when I actually knew my hair cut lady.
25My older sister has always done my hair (color, cut, formals) and make-up in whatever salon she is working at. While there are moments when I cringe at the conversation, it also provides us a bit of time to reconnect as sisters-telling stories and giving updates on our lives.
I get a bit of stranger anxiety though, and would have no idea how to have a conversation with a waxer or mancurist :-/
26I’ve experienced quite a few permutations of this, and I think for me, it depends 95% on the person doing the work: the one massage therapist I’ve gone to kept it at the ‘what hurts? what needs work?’ level for the most part, but she was relaxed about it and we ended up chatting about running, stress, and other related things that helped her work that crick out of my shoulder. On the other hand, the last woman I went to for my $12 haircut was so awkward and depressing, I felt the whole time like I was just making her feel bad (I was getting a haircut shortly before a friend’s wedding, and I said “it seems like everyone is getting married!” to which she responded, with a sad sigh, “I’m not.” uh. dang. sorry… what do I say now?).
Reading a magazine hadn’t occurred to me, though… next time I should try that.
27Eh, it depends. I go to a school to get my hair cut. Some of the students are really interesting, some are not. I would suggest bringing a book or magazine and saying I’m trying to catch up on my reading. Or just say You know I’m not in the mood for convo today thanks. You’re paying for the service, you should get what you want.
28The salon I went to when I was in college had a survey that must have been similar to what Cristin mentioned - it was great!
29I love talking to people. I’ll talk to strangers in the elevator, on the bus, waiting in line, at the salon. I work in PR, so along with coming naturally, it’s my job.
I find it rude NOT to make small talk, but a few months ago I read a piece in a magazine where the writer had the opposite perspective- that small talk IS rude. Wish I could find that article!
30seriously this is so true. it makes me really tired sometimes right when i get in the salon and i feel like i have to hold a conversation and really all i want to do is sit there and have her do my hair and not talk.
31I love the mental quiet that comes from sitting still for over an hour (I have a lot of hair) watching the rhythmical cutting and combing.. I always feel like it’s being ruined a little if I have to tell them about my holidays this year, or where I study; things I don’t care about and I don’t think they do, either.
32I always answer (I would never have the guts to tell them I don’t want to talk) but after a few short, polite answers they tend to get the idea that I would rather not hold a conversation.
I always have this dilemma too! I heart my stylist and have gone to her for years, but I have a LOT of hair and don’t always want to chat the whole time. I do the magazine trick or sometimes bring schoolwork with me. Sometimes, I just really want to zone out and enjoy being still but yeah, I don’t know how to do that w/out being rude.
33I suppose if you go to the same hairdresser for any period of time, warrants some conversation. I never got to the same place or person, so I prefer less talking.
Also, can someone explain why dentists think that they should talk up a storm when you have your mouth full of instruments? It’s not like they tell a really long story. They ask billions of questions!! And you can’t respond. Frustrates me. Haha!
Jenna Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 7:53 am
Have you heard the Bill Cosby sketch about the dentist? SOOOOO funny.
Kristin Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:16 am
I haven’t! I’ll try to check that out!
Only when I initiate the conversation. I HATE when I’m on the train or plane when my neighbour feels the need to talk to me. Unless they have something interesting to say. I know this is wrong as one of these people MAY be the person I very much need in my life. So as I write this, I should stop being such a b*tch while on transit.
But as for other services, I TOTALLY agree. Let me catch up on the smut mags please!
35I hate chatting. especially, MOST especially when I am getting a bikini wax.
I’m sorry, lady, but right now you are are putting my ladies parts in extreme pain…I don’t want to chat about the weather, or the economy, or my wedding plans. I just want to cry in pain alone!
I like my hair stylist, but even after about 5 minutes we run out of things to talk about and i just watch the tv in the salon and hope she doesn’t start up another conversation.
36Yeah…I am not one for conversation with some “service professionals”. In my previous life, I worked in professional sports and my OB/GYN would drill me with questions about golfers. Hello! Just do your business and get out of there! I switched to a female after I moved. Best decision EVER.
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