30 Apr
To Be a Prego Wedding Photog
I AM NOT PREGNANT
Sorry for the shouting that may be inferred with the use of all caps, but I think if I don’t use them I’ll get 88 comments congratulating me on my non-existent pregnancy. That’s not how I want to start off my day. It’s common knowledge that I would like to have a baby sooner than later, so I assume the topic of this post isn’t a surprise to anyone.
I’ve had some wedding inquiries, several of them in fact, which is beyond exciting. Some of these are from brides I haven’t even met, but they describe their weddings to me and I fall in love with them and get so excited at the thought of being there with them and experiencing everything they are talking about (and documenting all of it so they can see how it all unfolded).
Recently I put two and two together and realized-wait-I can’t shoot a wedding when I’m 9 months pregnant. And that little darling I produce will surely tear my most delicate parts up like a rabid dog after a juicy looking pig (we had this happen once at our house, the results were horrific), which means I not only need a 2 month window of no wedding shooting before the birth, I need some time afterwards to heal as well.
- I have tentative wedding agreements (no contracts signed yet), for July, October, January, March, and May.
- I need at least 90 days off to have a baby, since I don’t want to shoot past 7 months, and I need some time after to recover.
Do you see how the two situations are creating this nice little dichotomy that makes my head spin? If we want to put me at the 7 month mark by June, we wouldn’t be able to start trying until November. NOVEMBER! That is so far away.
This post has a purpose, other than to provide me with a medium do what probably sounds like complaining about how hard my life is. (Actually I have the easiest life ever, and I freely admit it on a daily basis).
I would like to hear your thoughts on what you think I shouldn’t be photographing a wedding anymore. 6 months? 7 months? Any wedding at the 6 month mark or beyond would most definitely get a free second shooter thrown in the mix to ensure lots of lovely photos no matter what.
How long should I give myself to recover after the birth? (I plan on having a midwife, natural birth, and no way in the place where Satan lives the world would I induce unless forced to do so.* I don’t know if these factors affect recovery time, but I thought I’d throw them out there just in case).
Should I just write a pregnancy clause into my contract, get knocked up, and then notify my brides ASAP of the situation, which should give them at least 7 months to find a new photographer?
Should I block off a 4 month period next summer, tell brides I’m not taking any weddings during that time, and then hope we get pregnant? (This would have to be a November/December conception if so).
How would you respond if your wedding photographer cancelled because of pregnancy?
Now that I have overwhelmed you with questions. GO! Or feel free to ask me a question of your own, it’s only fair.
*I’m very opinionated about pregnancy, but I’m saving all of my opinionated pregnancy posts until I’m actually pregnant. I guarantee they will be juicy.
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
I am not sure because I have never been preggo! However, when do brides typically sign contracts? Maybe you can say I can confirm with you in November and we can sign the contract then, and then you can back out anytime because you have no contract, you have an oral contract but there is no consideration so it wouldn’t be enforceable and there wouldn’t be any damages. If I were you I would put something in the contract that sets you free, without any legal problems. Not that someone would sue, but I read cases all the time about weird stuff like this. What does your contract say about backing out?
I’m so excited that you guys are planning to start a family! I am so jealous!
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Shelley Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Maybe, but then again if you agreed to shoot a wedding even w/o a written agreement, an oral contract can still be valid as long as certain other conditions are met One of which is that the oral contract could be done within one year. I think the best policy is to be up front with your prospective clients and let them know that you may not be available and then they can make an informed choice whether or not they want to book you or look elsewhere. I do think that if you say that you will shoot a wedding, even w/o a contract, you may be legally responsible for reliance damages if you back out. After all, weddings are kind of a big deal. A pregnancy clause would be a great idea but I think that many people may be hesitant because by signing with you they are not booking other photographers that they may like and in the mean time those other photographers may book up. Even with a pregnancy clause, you probably should do a little bit more for your prospective clients since they may be left without a photographer. I know that you know some other photographers. I think it would be great if you could come up with some type of agreement with them that if you get pregnant that they will fill in (upon the agreement of the bride and groom) or that you will help the couple find a photographer to book with a similar style and offering.
If you are worried about legal issues and enforceability of a pregnancy clause, please seek legal advice!!! I would think that if you are up front and honest, people would not sue but you never know. It seems that we live in a society that loves litigation.
As for when I think you should cease shooting weddings when you are pregnant, I think it may depend on your pregnancy. I know many people who work until their water breaks. I think it would be a good idea to stop at 7 mos but again, it all depends.
Good luck with everything
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Hey Jenna, I don’t know the whole contract side of things, but I have embarked on the baby bit and so I have some thoughts from that end!
First, hopefully you will get pregnant relatively quickly when you decide to start trying, but the reality is that many people take from a few months, to a year even for it to happen, though it does immediately for some. So if that were to happen and you didn’t take any bookings, you could miss out on a whole summer of weddings which might be sad.
If there was a way to wait until November or so to confirm with the brides, it might be better and as you say, they will have a good 7 months to find someone else which is hardly leaving them in the lurch. I would understand that.
In terms of recovery - I had a natural midwife birth with my son and it went as smoothly as you could probably hope for. I did tear a bit and I would say that it took about two weeks for me to be comfortable after that. After that, I did enjoy the fact that I had a bit more time to get into a rhythm with my little guy. Also I breast fed exclusively and so he was needing me every two hours at least - so we were very attached for quite a bit longer. You can express milk, but my guy was not interested in seeing a bottle so it wasn’t too successful for me.
I don’t know if that’s helpful, but I thought I would share!
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Ashley Mar Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Jenna I agree with Nass a hundred percent. It took us nine months of trying to get pregnant with our first. At that time I didn’t worry about my job because it was waitressing but as a photographer now I know what you mean. I too had a natural birth with Ethan and a midwife with both of my babies and it went the best it could for me. I would also say that you just let your brides know when they are signing something that you are trying to have a baby and your body hasn’t let you know when it will be but if it falls around the time of when they are expecting you to be their photographer that you will find them a back up photographer who photographs similar to yourself. Life has so many unexpected things happen and babies are the best blessings. I assisted my mom up until I had Aliana. Of course I couldn’t go out in the snow all of the time because I did have horrible false contractions, but I did my best and always did digital editing. Good luck with whatever you decide, but I say let your body take it’s course and don’t expect too much when you are trying because it can be difficult and disappointing…I cried every time I got my period when we tried for Ethan…and than when we weren’t trying after we had him we totally got pregnant again when he was only 5 months old so…yeah it’s life..
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Natalie Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
This was my immediate thought. How on earth are you going to plan for this one. Now owning your own business is a little difficult because you don’t have an HR department — but I would still take clients! It could take you 6-12 months to get pregnant — and then where would you be? Especially with your husband’s travel schedule! How are you going to time that with ovulation? I think that would be a great blog post!
My photographer actually ended up having an emergency and sent in a back up photographer, and it wasn’t ideal, but it was the same style and quality and that’s what mattered. She then did the editing. And she took 10 percent off the price. Or she was going to, but she didn’t — I wouldn’t use the photog again, but the method worked.
I think you should take clients and continue to go up until your 7th month or so — you’ll know at that point — and then maybe have a backup if you get sick?
My pal is a photog and she has had the same problem with her shoots, but she does mostly families so she can reschedule
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I’m with Nass on this one. You don’t know when it will actually happen. As one of my friends always tells me, “Hope for the best, plan for the worst”. I would look at each of the weddings on a case-by-case basis, and you really never know, you might still feel great at 8.5 months or you might feel awful at four months. It’s just not something you can gauge!
Sorry, this probably wasn’t helpful at all, just my two cents!
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3I love that you are so excited to have children. It makes ME excited to have children and I am terrified of the thought of being preggers…anyhoodles… as a current bride to be here are my honest answers to your questions:
When you should stop photographing: I think it really depends on your pregnancy. My mum worked right up until go time and she worked in retail so lots of on her feet and running around — not exactly photography but also physically demanding. I think that’s a decision you, that husband and your doctor will have to find the answer to, closer to baby time.
Recovery times also vary. Something you’d have to go talk with TH and DR about. I honestly think that you’ll have more trouble leaving the BABY to go do you work, so that’s something to consider.
The pregnancy clause and your clients — as a bride if I read that I’d probably be annoyed but ultimately REALLY happy for you. Honestly, why did you choose Kelli to photograph your wedding? Maybe your reasons were different from other brides but I chose my photogs because they are the best in our area and I am in love with their work. Seeing that they MIGHT not make it would be crushing, but I love them so much as people I would be elated for them…double edged sword. If you were going to add a clause to your contract I’d suggest making it AIR TIGHT so disappointed brides don’t go completely litigous and make your life miserable
As I said I would be DEVASTATED if my photog cancelled for any reason but a baby is such a happy one. I know this probably isn’t going to be nice to say but it’s worth considering: one can do many things well and one thing excellently. I think you need to give yourself a chance at both an then make a decision, photog or mum to new baby. It’s something I wrestle with everyday{I’m clearly not a photographer but I love my work} and am thankful I’m NOT in a position to have children yet. I’m not trying to be rude and there are CERTAINLY tons of good working mothers, but that is just my two cents.
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4You just don’t know. I got married, two weeks ago (from today!) and my photographer was a good friend. She called me 2 days before my wedding to let me know that she had been put on strict bed rest and couldn’t photograph my wedding. 2 days before. Thankfully, before she told me, she had lined up a new photographer, in my price range, free on my date. I love her and was so concerned about her, but had a huge inner panic.
My new photographer was 8 weeks post-partum and was great. I got to meet her baby and she was very energetic and just wonderful.
My advice- have a handful of back up photographers for your entire pregnancy.
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5You are pretty young - so I’m guessing it won’t take you very long to get pregnant. But I don’t know anybody in their early 20s who has actually tried to get pregnant - just surprise babies.
I think that leaving your bride’s SOL is a crummy thing to do, so I wouldn’t write the pregnancy clause in that says they will have to find a new photographer if you get pregnant - UNLESS you arrange with another photographer in advance. Do you have a friend who would be willing to cover for you while you are on maternity leave? Then your contract could say, “If I am for whatever reason unable to shoot your event, so local photographer xxx will fill in.” The problem will be finding a local photographer who is willing to shoot based on your intro rates instead of whatever their usual rates are.
Based on the people who I have known who are pregnant, pregnancy varies. You could be the happiest and most energetic pregnant woman in the world - I had a friend who trekked all around Rome and Pompeii with me at 7 months; I had a boss who was basically unable to move at 7 months, and I have a cousin who is only 3 months along and is already on bedrest. You either need a way to warn your brides or you need to obtain a pinch hitter. Maybe you should get yourself an intern to be a second shooter, train them to shoot in your style, and then they can fill in for you when you are on maternity leave.
Also, do not make any assumptions about birth or healing. First babies are often late, and labor is more difficult. Every friend I have had who has tried to go natural childbirth has wound up delivering in the hospital - 2 had C-sections (one after 43 hours, attempts to induce, etc.) and the other just spent 37 hours in labor.
I really don’t think that waiting until November is the worst thing in the world - but like you have said, everybody is different - in reality, its only 6 months away, and it would give you more time to find a good intern/second shooter (unless you already have one, but you haven’t mentioned it yet).
Additionally, having a baby changes all of your priorities - you may find that you don’t want to leave the baby with somebody else (I have a friend who, for 6 months, wouldn’t leave the baby with anyone he didn’t know, recognize, and have affection for - which ruled out her parents, and any potential babysitter.) So I would not necessarily put a timeline on recovery/coming back to work unless you feel like you really need to. However, photography is less demanding than a full time job and you should be able to manage a few hours on the weekend within at least a month.
There is nothing wrong with holding off until you are 9 months away from the wedding to sign a contract - you can tell them that you will hold the date for them, but you don’t want to sign the contract until then. I’ve had a number of photographers tell me that they aren’t booking for our date yet, which I’m fine with. I think that waiting to sign the actual contract may be the best thing to do.
What do photographers normally do if they get sick or something?
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6Okay So I read everyone’s post and I agree and disagree with some. So I am going to write this as one of your Brides’ (hopefully) Seeing how I will be a May one.
Getting prego and working.. I think it is really do able as long as you have been health and normal throughout it. I have friends that work on the ambulance right up until their water breaks (happened on a call in the elevator full of firefighters to my friend it was really funny at the time watching the firefighters panic.) But I know this depends on you and how you feel about it. I know what I would do but just because I would be comfy with it doesn’t mean you would. I would work. But I know that I couldn’t be at home that much.
Shooting a wedding pregnant. I think it is a blessing. Will your cute little tummy get in the way. I am sure there will be time that you will wish it wasn’t getting in your way of shooting, but I think it is such a blessing this doesn’t even count.
I think as a bride if you put this in our contract I will agree and be really happy for you. As long as you give me plenty of time. And like someone else said have a back up photographer just in case. I know that Mr. FF and I would be 100% supportive and understand. That is us. Plus we want to see everyone happy and pregnant since we can’t have babies. Will I be sad that you aren’t shooting our wedding. Yep. Very much so. I look forward to it so much. And the great pictures that you will bring to us and that you seem to love and be okay with our craziness. But this disappointment would be dismissed because of the blessing of a baby.
I say go for it. Start trying when you are ready to. Put it in your contract, do make it air tight, and if they don’t like it they don’t like it. Just have the back up photographers.
I think it is between you and TH when and if you want to stop working during your pregnancy.
Good luck!
Jamie
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7My photog, who is a very close friend, got pregnant and couldn’t shoot our wedding. Because she was a good friend, I was over the moon for her — and also, I had plenty of time (7 months) to find a new photographer. Before we lined up a new photog, though, she had a backup who was a) super talented and b) the exact same price. We ultimately didn’t go with the backup (we have tons of photographer friends; we are very lucky) but telling me her pregnancy news and immediately presenting a backup was really reassuring — not to mention, professional. Do you have a friend who could be your backup?
As for everything else, you know what they say: Man makes plans, God laughs. You never know how long it will take to get pregnant, so I wouldn’t necessarily back away from weddings a year from now.
Also, I have to bring this up — you’ve asked us to nag you, missy! — what about finishing your degree? Wasn’t that part of your pre-baby agreement with TH? Once you get pregnant and have a wee one, it will be so much harder to get that schoolwork finished. Complete those last few classes and your future children will be so much better off because of it.
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8Since I know you have mentioned that you have been on the pill continuously for quite a while because of cramping, you don’t right now know the natural state of your ovulation. I wouldn’t count on the ability to get pregnant within 3 or 4 months. Hopefully, it will be that easy for you, but often times women coming off the pill take longer just because their bodies need more time to regulate back to a natural state, and many women take months and months, and sometimes even years to have a natural pregnancy without fertility drugs. There is no way to know this for sure until you try.
I think it is only fair that you tell couples this before you book (obviously!) and come up with some sort of ‘pregnancy clause’ like you said; but I also would not plan on shooting at all past the 7 month mark; a few women I know have wound up on bedrest at this point because of complications, and one just had an emergency c-section this week at 7.5 months because her amniotic fluid dropped too low. If you at least let clients know that you are contemplating trying and you may wind up canceling, they can make up their own mind; I do not know how busy booking is around you, but where I got married, 7 months would not have been enough time for me to find another photographer for the weekend we chose in the summer — we had to book ours 16 months out!
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kaitlyn Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I’m responding this to Julie’s comment for a reason, I’ll get there in a minute.
First, I’d like to say that so long as you’re ok shooting pregnant, and you give your brides time/back up/options/something, you’d be fine to me!
Now, in response to Julie- I just went off the pill 2 months ago and my body isn’t even close to back to normal in terms of ovulation. I’m not sure what a typical cycle is going to look like because the hormones are no where done messing with my system. Just something else for your consideration!
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lauren Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
And to respond to kaitlyn…I have read about people taking even a year or so to truly get back to normal. I’m 34 and I ovulated 14 days after stopping the pill and have been like clockwork since, but everyone is different.
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Ms Snowflake Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I think everyone responds a little differently with the pill. While I imagine there are women who takes months to get back to regular ovulation, I also personally know someone who got pregnant almost immediately after getting off the pill. She assumed her period was late because her cycle was readjusting, but then her pregnancy test came back positive.
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Just wanted to say that you and I have the same timeline for getting pregnant. Yey!!!
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10I can’t answer the questions about pregnancy since I’ve never been pregnant, but I’ll try the others!
I agree with Brandy who says you should have back up photographers lined up. I also think you should write a pregnancy clause into your contract, just to keep you safe legally. Because you never know what some people are like- they can sue you if they really want to. I guess this is the risk people take when they hire women photographers, in particular. Not to say that it’s bad to hire women photographers, but you do take considerably more risks than when you hire a male photographer.
Don’t block off a 4 month period, because you never know what will happen once you start trying to get pregnant. It might not go smoothly in the sense that you won’t get pregnant right away, and then you will regret blocking off that 4 month period where you could have been working.
I would probably be pretty upset if my photographer canceled on me. I like to think I’m a kind person, so I probably wouldn’t get mad directly at you, but I would be very very very mad inside. But then again, that would have been the risk I took when I hired you, so it is partially my fault too. And if you add a clause to your contract, then there is really nothing I can do about it.
But, yes, make sure you have some back up photographers lined up that you can call!
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11I’m glad you wrote this post! I’m kinda in the same boat as you. My husband and I are both about to graduate, and in my mind I’m trying to plan when we should start trying. In my case I have to work for a year before I can apply for certification as a speech therapist, and at the very least I want to be done with that before our first, so that I have the option of staying at home. It is complicated. Especially since you can’t really say how long it will take you to get pregnant. I read several young LDS girls blogs who have been trying to conceive for almost a year with no success, but then there are also those couples who seem to get pregnant immediately after they get married. I hope I am in the latter rather than the former group, but there’s really no way of telling until you try!
Anyway, it was interesting to read what everyone has said so far, and I’ll be checking back in to see what the other comments say.
Question for you: How did you become so opinionated about childbirth? Was it from your own research or the experience of someone you know?
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12My photographer was actually pregnant on my wedding day. In February, they sent an email to all of the brides saying the wife (of a husband and wife team) was pregnant. They had arranged for a back-up photographer in case she went into labor. The same back-up photog would fill in for the wife after she had the baby. I saw her last weekend (she’s due the second week of May), and she was still shooting. I think it just depends on the individual!
Good luck!
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13This is the dumbest post. I will stop reading your blog now.
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14I don’t think that you should book some time off and assume you’ll get pregnant in that time, because you just never know. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for 9 months now, so think of all the weddings you could miss out on! I think that frankly, you should not worry about it at this point. If you get pregnant then you should line up a second shooter from about 6 months on, and contact anybody who’s booked you for, say, 3 months after your due date with recommendations of other people who have a similar style as you and are free. But I really think that blocking off a period is just going to add a lot of unnecessary stress to your life if you have trouble conceiving, and trying to get pregnant is stressful enough, believe me, without working on a timeline.
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15I’m actually in this siutation right now…my wedding is in October, and my friend who is my photographer just found out she is pregnant (with her 3rd child - an unexpectd pregnancy). Anyways, she may possibly have this baby 3 weeks before my wedding or will be about 7 months along (she finds out on Monday).
But as soon as she found out she was pregnant a couple weeks ago, she called her sister immediately (who is also in photography) to come and second shoot with her, at no charge to me. We didn’t sign a contract because she is my good friend and each of us will both hold up each end of our “deal” or whatever you want to call it. She said regardless of the baby status she will still shoot my wedding, unless she is on bedrest. She also shot some other pictures for me while she was 8 months preganant and in the Texas heat of June! She is superwoman I swear.
Anyways, if I was hiring a photographer, I probably would not want to sign a contract if there was a preganancy clause in it. That’s just another thing for me to have to worry about. And if I sign a contract, and you have to break it due to pregnancy (which is ok), then I would expect you to be able to connect me with other photographers of the same level in the same price range, just so I’m not left high and dry.
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Lisa Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 8:33 am
I think I have to disagree with your last point. You are right, some people would be weary to hire someone with a pregnancy clause. But I believe it’s in Jenna’s best interest to have one, especially since she knows she wants to get pregnant very soon. Not everyone is kind and understanding, and will be OK with her breaking the contract. People can sue over things like that, if they really want to, and that just adds a load of unnecessary stress for Jenna.
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Lisa Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 8:35 am
One more point: just because a woman photographer doesn’t have a pregnancy clause in her contract, doesn’t mean that she’s not going to get pregnant! Young women (especially) can get pregnant at any time, whether they’re on the pill, not on the pill, supposedly infertile, etc. God works in mysterious ways.
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Lindsay Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 8:51 am
I see your points, but I think regardless of if she is she is planning pregnancy or not, every contract will have a clause in it that addresses cancellation, from either party. If she has to cancel for say another back problem or she has a family issue, then that will still be cancelling. I don’t know what her contract says, but some vendors put that they will refund deposits, etc if they have to cancel on the client. I think that is fair and it’s business, I just don’t think a pregnancy clause is necessary, but a cancellation clause is. I guess this would be where the cancellation clause is helpful, because of acts of God! lol If she wants to tell her clients she is trying to get pregnant thats cool. Also, my opinion is just that vendors should always have a network of peole they can go to, in the event something goes wrong. It’s not necessary, but when dealing with a client it is definitely professional and appreciated if the vendor offers some recommendations for other vendors (if they have to cancel).
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Lisa Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 8:55 am
That’s a very good point, actually. I don’t know too much about contracts, but you’re right, a general cancellation clause is probably best.
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When I was pregnant I was wrapping up my BS. I went to school and continued to work my part time job the entire time. My doctor encourage my activities .. not only did it keep me busy and from going crazy in our empty nursery but it kept me healthy I had no other choice but to get up and walk around every day. I also went natural and was up around doing everything in a couple of days and went back to school to finish up a week later [baby in tow of course]. But it truly does depend on the individual in my case I had a perfect pregnancy no complications gained only 19 lbs had a health baby where on the other hand my sister [we shared a due date !!] Was put on bed rest in her second trimester had handfuls of complications gained 120lbs and had to have the baby 8 weeks early… So as you can see it is truly hard to plan these things and to know what they will be like because evey women is different and each women has her own pregnancy experience that is unique ..babies will do what they want to do … So my suggestion would be don’t plan take it one day at time you and your body will know how much you can handle and when to call it quits -and im sure as long as you have a back up not a single women would be mad at you for going in to labor
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Erin Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Just wondering, how old were you when you had this baby?
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As for how long you keep on shooting for, that depends on your pregnancy. Some people are great until the very end and others are totalled by month 5 or 6.
I’d at least talk to the brides and warn them that something could be happening. I’d suggest lining up a second shooter, who if all else fails, can run the show while you’re resting.
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18I very much like Ellie’s idea of trying to contract with another photographer, who would be able to fill in for you. I don’t know much about contracts, but it might be a bit of poor taste to include a pregnancy clause. To me it doesn’t seem to be a good business move, because it makes you sound like you are unavailable. Just my opinion.
With regard to how much time you should plan to take off, I think that is entirely up to you. 7 months + recovery time sounds fair to me. At the same time though, each pregnancy is different. If you would need to be on bed rest, or there are other complications, you would potentially have to cancel on weddings.
In the end, things happen that we can’t plan for. I would hope that brides would understand. If you don’t end up putting some kind of clause into your contract, I would at least advise letting brides know at the earliest possible moment that their wedding date falls in line with your XX month date.
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19Hi Jenna:
As a type-A person, who likes to plan everything in advance and to anticipate all potential problems, I would be pretty annoyed if you agreed to do my wedding and didn’t let me know there would be a possibility of you getting pregnant. Thus, I definitely think you need a clause stating that this is a possibility. But I wouldn’t necessarily block off time where you expect to be pregnant now. Julie is right, it takes time for your body to learn how to re-regulate itself once you stop taking the pill. You might miss out on business opportunities if you asssume that now. Just let your clients know that this is a possibility and when it happens and can talk about it, suggest a few other photographers that you trust to do a good job and wish them well. They will understand (they signed that they would)
As for working while pregnant, I have never been pregnant so I have no idea how it really feels, but I will say that you know your body and your mind best. If you think you will need that time, I urge you take it.
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20Okay, so this might sound cynical, but I promise you I’m just giving advice based on my own personal experience.
You never know when you are going to get pregnant and so it does really no good to plan for something you can’t really rely on a exact calculation of. Ty and I have been not “Not trying” since July and I have yet to feel the stirring of life inside me. This sounds so depressing, but really all I’m trying to get out there is I think putting in a pregnancy clause is a good idea so that way you are covered when the blessed day does arrive. However, I wouldn’t necessarily plan on taking all of the summer off just in case it happens later than soon. Does that make sense? You don’t want to miss out on the opportunities because you HOPED that it would turn out differently right? I hope that’s good advice. You probably have been thinking all of this stuff anyway, but just thought I’d add my two cents.
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21From what I’ve seen with friends, its impossible to predict when you might get pregnant. Being young and healthy doesn’t mean that its easy. It might happen the first month, or it might take years. I don’t think you should put your life on hold until you know for sure - that makes it conception stressful for everyone involved. Start trying when you’re ready to start, and have lots of back-up plans. And tell your brides. Honestly, it might have changed my choice of photographer, but I would be pissed not to know. (On the other hand, its not anyone’s business but yours and your husbands, so if it makes you uncomfortable, I don’t think you HAVE to share)
Pregnancy and postpartum also vary for everyone. maybe you have a preemie, maybe you have a huge baby and everything rips and you are on bed rest for a month (yikes), maybe your baby is super fussy and needs a lot of attention. its a lot of playing it by ear, which is very hard when you’re in a service industry.
some friends of mine would have been fine shooting in month 9, and others wouldn’t have been able to in month 6. it all depends on you and the baby.
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22Regardless of your plans for a family, I would include a ‘medical clause’ in the contract covering any situation (broken foot, childbirth) where the doctor advised you to take it easy, you have an ‘out’. I would also network with some of the good photographers in Dallas and use them as back-up.
Even though you are young and healthy, you can’t necessarily time when you want to get pregnant down to a month. As some people have said, it takes a few months for your cycles to get back on track after coming off birth control. Also, with your husband traveling as much as he does, he may not be around to ‘do the deed’ on the day you are ovulating. Also, sadly, miscarriages are quite common. Finally, you could end up on bed-rest as early as six months.
So, when you’re ready, toss the birth control and see what happens. At some point you will get a + pregnancy test and then at that point (or if you’re more cautious after the ultrasound reveals a healthy baby) start contacting your brides and your back-ups and see what you can arrange.
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23Wow, girl. You’ve got some good advice. Too bad every pregnancy isnt the same:) We went off the pill thinking it would take a few months to get pregnant and got pregnant the same month I went off. My pregnancy was easy, I wasnt sick, I worked up until the day and all. Carrying a baby puts strain on your back…especially if they sit right on your sciatic nerve {which my baby did for quite a while}. Since you already have hip/back problems you might find that you feel great but when you try to maneuver around for different angles of pictures your back/hip will flare up. I can’t tell you how many times my hip would give out and I would almost fall {and I even fell like two times} and I didnt have any pre-existing issues… It would be nice if I could say you’ll be fine up until this point no problem. From what I’ve heard natural births actually fare better with recovery. But I was induced and was only in labor for like 4 hours and didnt tear so I was fine like 2 days later walking around and cleaning and such…everyone is different, sadly haha. Also, you’re hoping you dont get sick or something. I didnt get sick but my sister was sick up until the day she delivered. Smells got to her and you dont want to be shooting a wedding and whatever they are having served at the reception make you hurl and you spend the time in the bathroom instead of in the reception hall…does that make sense? So you might be fine at 3 months but can’t stand the food at their reception. You never know. Okay…I’m pretty sure my post is all over the place. I’m excited for you guys on the upcoming pregnancy and I wish you the best of luck! You will be an absolutely amazing mother!!
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24Being neither a photographer nor pregnant I can’t give you much there but I am getting married in September so I can tell you what we set up.
It would be a medical miracle if our photographer were to get pregnant, nonetheless, he has a clause that if for any reason he can’t make it to the wedding he will have a colleague of a comparable style and ability fill in for him at no cost to us. (Say the colleage charges more than he does, our photographer will pay the difference.) He also added that he has never missed an event he has been hired for.
Maybe something similar would work for you?
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25My husband and I have been talking about the same thing and essentially, I don’t know when I’ll get pregnant so I’m not going to plan for it work-wise because if I don’t get pregnant (I have endometriosis so who knows WHAT will happen) I don’t want to be out of work and sad b/c I didn’t have a baby at that time like I’d planned to.
From what I’ve seen, most photogs work up to 7-8 months or so and then become a second shooter to a main shooter after that if they keep shooting and usually still do all the editing. My game plan is to do something along those lines. If the wedding falls in the 8th to 9th month I’d probably give my couple the option of finding their own photog or letting me find a replacement and still doing the editing if possible.
It happens and I don’t think I see any couple actually getting MAD if you get pregnant and have to rework the photography.
Good luck!!!
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26I think the best advice is to start getting into shape right now. Today. (I know your hip is killing you - but you could do upper body workouts to get the heart pumping). My PhD program is going to take 12 months longer than I wanted and so we delayed the baby for 12 entire months. This was devastating to me until I made a list of everything I need to do before I get pregnant. I read that natural child birth is physically similar to running a marathon (both the length of time and physical toll it takes on the baby). I also read that if you’ve been working out BEFORE you get preggers, then you can keep working out during your pregnancy - but if you aren’t in good shape and you do lots of physical activity while pregnant (running around at a wedding, hauling photo equipment) - you put stress on the baby and can end up on bed rest. So one of the many things on my to-do before I get pregnant list is get in excellent shape.
Regarding how to handle it from a business perspective - I would just have a company policy that you do not book gigs more than 7 months in advance. (I don’t like the clause that you can pull out). If someone really likes your work and wants to book you - they can contact you and you can “pencil them in” and tell them that you will contact them exactly 7 months before the wedding date to do a contract - and they are free to do whatever they want (find another photog, etc.) until that contract is signed. I did my contract around 9 months with my wedding photog - but 7 wouldn’t have bothered me. Once you are pregnant, you can change the policy - but this way it will reduce some stress - and stress can get in the way of getting pregnant. (By the way, me pushing it back a year means I’ll be 30 when I get pregnant for the first time, 31 when I give birth - I know within your culture you may feel a bit older - but within the larger community, you are SO young.)
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Jenna Reply:
May 1st, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Company policy that states I don’g book more than 7 months in advance? That is so genius that That Husband and I are scratching our heads wondering why we didn’t figure that out.
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I agree that you may need to worry about the first few weeks of pregnancy as well as the last months/recovery time. I haven’t thrown up (yet — knock on wood), but there have definitely been days when even my desk job was too much to handle and I’d be in the bathroom for a half-hour or more at a time, just trying not to be sick. I had the luxury of taking those breaks — weddings aren’t going to allow you to do that.
(and it sounds like we might have some similar opinions on pregnancy — can’t wait to hear what you’ve got to say)
And I’ll also reiterate a previous commenter who gently reminded you of how you wanted us to nag you about finishing your degree — do it!! It may seem superfluous to you at this point, but even if you only ever “use” it just to feel like you are a more accomplished person, it will be worth it.
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Erin Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Yes - finish your degree! If you can’t finish it now, when you say you “have the easiest life ever”, it will be ridiculously difficult to do it with kids and a thriving photography business. Finish it. You can do it!
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lauren Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
ditto everyone else. finish the degree!!
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Paula Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Yes! I had wondered the same thing about your agreement with TH. You can totally finish the degree! Don’t let yourself off the hook
Just hunker down and do it!
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Ms Snowflake Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
While I would encourage you to finish your degree, I wanted to agree with some of the other statements.
I can understand you being concerned about working in the later months of your pregnancy, but you really have no way of knowing how your body is going to respond to the pregnancy. I have never been pregnant, but a close friend of mine recently became so and for the first three months she was getting sick several times a day and felt exhausted; even sitting a desk job for a few hours a day wore her out.
I think a general pregnancy clause might be best for your contracts, because there is always a possibility that you might feel more comfortable shooting a wedding at seven months than you would at two months. I hate to sound pessimistic, but I do think it is worth considering for your contracts.
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You may be surprised by how well you feel. I havn’t gotten pregnant yet, so I cannot speak for myself.But. my mom ran a 3k a few weeks before I was born. In my baby book is a clipping from a newspaper. My mom with her big belly and her little running shorts.
You may be lucky since you are young…and may be able to be very active until the end.
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29From my experience, you can’t plan on anything when it comes to getting pregnant, having a baby, and recovery time. If I were you and in this situation, I would continue my life as normal, then figure out the details when the time comes. It might be nice to notify your brides that are booking you far out that there is a chance you might have to cancel, but you’ll give them plenty of notice.
It took us 13 months to get pregnant, and for no apparent reason or anything wrong. We were planning a big trip and trying to decide where and I just kept thinking, “Well, I might be this far along, or t this far along” and it turned out it didn’t interfere at all. I hope you guys get pregnant right off the bat, but it’s so hard because you really just never know and therefore so hard to plan around.
Also to note, you just have no idea how your pregnancy will go. My sisters had the easiest pregnancies on the planet, and I planned to have a similar experience. The first 4 months were bliss and I wasn’t sick at all, the last five months were hell.
As far as recovery goes, again everyone seems so different. I hear about people who feel totally fine after a day or two! I ended up in a c-section and recovered relatively quickly all things considered, and felt almost myself after just a week or so. I can’t wait to read your pregnancy posts, I LOVE the idea of a natural midwife birth, and my pregnancy/delivery ended up so far from it, haha. I think that’s awesome though and can’t wait to hear more about it. Another thing to consider in recovery though is nursing. Again, some people it works for them right off the bat, for us it was a whirlwind of ups and downs until we finally figured out what worked for us 8 weeks down the road. While figuring that out it sometimes feels like you’d rather just sit in your pajamas all day (covered in milk, mind yo) because it’s such a hassle to get ready only to get covered in milk all over again
.
I think my point from all of this is that you should live your life and do what you want to do, but always with the notion in the back of your head that it might have to change on a dime and you need to be open to that possibility (and maybe have your clients be open to it too if you feel the need).
Exciting times ahead though, regardless!!
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30Hi Jenna!
I’m not really up on all this baby stuff, but as a wedding photographer, isn’t taking 4 months off in the summer not exactly ideal scheduling? I’m not sure how to answer most of your questions, but I would try to shift those four months if possible. Just an idea!
Emily
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31I have to say that Erin, who commented right before me, probably says most of what I would say! Amen! ;D I really like the idea of only signing contracts 7 months in advance-you’ll already know if you can/can’t because of pregnancy.
I don’t know that you need to introduce every specific situation or circumstance for backing out in your contract, but you can list a few examples including health, which pregnancy falls under. Something about telling each potential client that you are “trying” comes off as TMI. In some instances, the less you tell (as far as details go) the better.
I did give birth naturally and one of the nurses in the hospital compared it to running a marathon. I would also highly recommend doing your best to get in shape now in whatever way you are physically able to (what about water stuff, is that a possibility?).
Like one of the girls above me, I am interested in learning how you became very opinionated on pregnancy & delivery. I am also really interested in hearing what some of those opinions are… I too have some pretty strong and rather “unconventional” opinions regarding my body and what I am willing/not willing to subject my unborn baby to. But try telling that to a doctor that thinks he/she knows everything. My first appt with an actual doc was horrible… he made it out like I wanted to my baby to be stillborn because I didn’t want to do ultrasounds. What are your plans for physically & mentally preparing for natural childbirth?
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32Should I just write a pregnancy clause into my contract…..
-I think that’s a GREAT idea! 7 months is totally long enough. Didn’t you just say your sister is going to try and plan a wedding in just 3 months?
Should I block off a 4 month period next summer…..
-I would personally not feel comfortable trying to predict nature like that, I like the previous idea better.
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33I think you have plenty of advice per your questions, so I just want to say how excited I am about your birthing plans- I did about a year of research, study, took classes, etc. , and what I learned about birth, our medical history with it, the role of midwives, on and on was fascinating and I think made me much more empowered for when I have my own baby. I know women who get pregnant and never learn what, exactly, labor is- I told one of my friends that the contractions are her uterine muscles working to dilate her cervix, get the baby in position, etc- she had no idea, she just said “oh, I don’t need to know all that, the doctor will take care of it and I’ll have an epidural so it will be fine”. For me ,I’d like to know what was going on
I’d also second what someone else said- finish school first. You already have the photography business and your back problems keeping you busy, then you throw on a child that you’ll be solely responsible for a lot of the time when TH is gone… I’d 100% finish that degree first thing. Go to school this summer and next fall and just get it done. I’ve always worked full time and gone to school full time, but this semester I’m taking 4 grad classes instead of 3 and working full time this semester in addition to lots of yoga classes and volunteering, and yeah, there are days when I think “I can’t do this!” but I know that the feeling of relief on May 16th will be so worth it.
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34i don’t speak from personal experience, but my beloved friend and massage therapist jo had a baby last october and from that experience i give my suggestion:
jo got pregnant mid january 2008 and delivered at the end of october. she claims she will have all her children this way. here’s why:
1. she wasn’t huge pregnant in bad (icy, snowy, dangerous) weather.
2. she was the most pregnant when the weather was starting to cool (sept & oct).
3. the timing of the birth was perfect, late october, because she had a month until thanksgiving and two months until christmas. she had a chance to adjust to being a mom and drop some of the baby weight before seeing her extended family during the holidays. plus then she had several months before she would need to be in spring/summer clothes.
i think if you adopted a schedule of this sort, the down time will be in the slower season for photography.
as a side note, she had a natural birth at home. her baby, thurston, is the healthiest and happiest baby i’ve ever seen.
good luck jenna.
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35p.s. i add this not to be crude or to scare anyone, but a woman’s chance of doing #2 on the delivery table is GREATLY increased when she has an epidural. i wish i were kidding.
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Grace Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
True story… however (and thankfully!), OBs and/or midwives are way used to seeing the gross stuff, so it really shouldn’t faze them. Plus, women are generally so caught up in labor that they don’t really notice and/or care what in the heck is going on aside from making sure that they’re doing what they need to be doing to get that baby out!
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Haven’t really read all the comments prior because there are so many of them… but here are my two cents:
1) I had a photographer on a pregnancy contract and she actually had a similarly priced photographer friend with whom she’d worked out a system for if and when she was too pregnant to shoot my wedding. I had a chance to meet with her potential stand-in and I have to say, I was extremely thankful that she’d prepped for the “just in cases” scenarios.
2) I’d give myself 2 months minimum for recovery. Doctors say 6 weeks and that seems to be the general rule, but since not everyone’s the same, it seems safe to go with 2 months before you’re feeling remotely like yourself again.
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37Okay, I’ll add my 2 cents even though I’ll probably just repeat stuff already said. I love to give my opinion when asked:)
*It seems smart for ALL photographers to have a medical clause - especially for event photography that can’t be rescheduled (as opposed to a family/baby session that can slightly change if any short term medical issue came up) and for all photographers to have backup, other trustworthy photogs just in case.
*It’s cliche, but it’s true - every pregnancy is different. And considering you’ve never been pregnant, it’s very difficult to predict what your last few months will be like. And here’s another monkey wrench - - with my first baby, the BEGINNING was horrific (terrible morning sickness and vomitting), but the end was great and I was so comfortable. With this one, sickness not quite as bad, but the uncomfort towards the end now is a more annoying that last time. So there you go - it’s very hard to conclusively predict what will happen.
Sooo…I say ‘try’ to plan, but ultimately, just live and make decisions as if things will stay the same (more or less). You can go batty by trying to predict and control the future, which is ultimately uncontrollable - - this coming from a huge planner. It’s hard. I know.
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38Been there done that. I had a little boy a month ago and I scheduled a wedding a month before my due date and a wedding THREE WEEKS after having my baby. I had both my kids naturally and I was fine. I had my baby only three days before my due date. The wedding I did before having my baby was harder than the one I did after. I felt great after wards, but trying to get all the crazy angles while being pregnant was hard. If you think about it there could always be something to prevent you from doing a wedding, you could get sick or have a family emergency, I always hope that none of this ever happens but just in case you have to protect yourself in your contract for these things.
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39What great questions to ask - I’m excited to read some of the answers and hear what you decide to do.
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40As you know I’m five months pregnant with my first now, so I can only offer experience up to that point. What I will tell you is that plenty of people think you can’t do anything much as soon as you start showing, and will carry even the lightest thing for you. Personally I find it kind of annoying being treated like an invalid, because I’ll ask for help when I need it, but I know their hearts are in the right place so I just smile and tell myself not to be cantankerous!
With regards conception, they say it takes on average four cycles. Although it’s true someone of your age should take less time (we got it in two - woohoo!) putting pressure on it happening will likely make it take longer. Stress is the enemy of conception. So a two cycle window sounds like a recipe for disappointment to me.
As long as they gave me plenty of notice (which I think 7 months is) I wouldn’t think it was bad that a photographer cancelled due to pregnancy at all.
Finally, hurry up and get pregnant! Because I can’t wait to hear those juicy opinions!
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41I think:
1) If you try to coordinate pregnancy and work commitments together, you will inevitably become pregnant before or after the ideal period. lol.
2) I think pregnancy is sort of a reasonable employment “hazard”…I think it would be very generous of you to discuss your plans with potential clients, but I would regard it as akin to any health issue that might preclude a photographer from actually shooting on a given day. As long as you have a reliable second shooter, I would regard that as fine. Just speculating here, but I would imagine that people hire you based on factors specific to you — your particular photography style and skill as well as having good “photographer chemistry” — so I think it would be nice of you to candidly discuss this kind of thing with clients, but I don’t think it’s something you’re doing “wrong” as a businessperson to potentially be trying to conceive AND booking weddings at the same time.
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42I have mixed feelings on this post…part of me thinks that you are thinking too much about this and getting a little ahead of yourself, and another part of me completely understands where your coming from.
I think your best option would be to try to connect with some experienced wedding photographers who have handled this situation. (If I remember correctly Sarah K Chen was shooting weddings pretty close to her due date when I was reading her blog last fall.) Ask them questions about how they handled their contracts before they were pregnant, how that changed after they found out they were pregnant, and how it affected their business overall. The best advice will not come from people who have been pregnant or those that are a photographer (or a bride/groom or none of the above), but only from those who have been in a similar situation.
The thing is, anyone who hires a female photographer faces the chance that their photographer *could* become pregnant before their wedding (obviously heightened if they are of a certain age, married, and/or trying to get pregnant). The reality is that you could start trying today and not actually get pregnant until November next year, and in the meantime you could lose significant business in constantly telling people that you are trying. Frankly, it doesn’t affect their wedding until you’re actually pregnant, and a clause in your contract that covers medical issues and other unforeseen circumstances will also cover pregnancy related situations.
So, there you have it. My 2 cents…whatever it’s worth.
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43I think with your back problems and with your pregnancy plans, you should definitely have a medical clause in your contract. I also think you should consider the idea of having a back up photog, because life is unexpected. 7 months notice could be plenty of time for summer brides, but what if you were say, I dunno, signed up to shoot my wedding in april
and in mid march your doctor said you had to go on bedrest immediately. That would be a huge problem for anyone you had booked in the spring who might not be able to find someone in time. And I’ve been wondering how your back situation and surgery is affecting your pregnancy plans. I’ve got pretty bad scoliosis which doesn’t luckily give me pain very often, but I worry about the extra weight and weight shift of pregnancy making my curves worse or being really painful.
And, listen to the people who tell you to finish your degree! You’re so close.. i have multiple friends who put off the last year or two and both are struggling to finish 5+ years later (one is now almost 11 years from his first day on campus!) It’s really worth it to get it over with
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44You probably don’t want to wait this long, but I think you should wait to have your baby in the fall or winter, otherwise you’ll be MIA during prime wedding season….I’m sure you’ll have to turn down lots of requests during those summer months.
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45Ummm… I think you should go ahead with your plans, put a clause into your contracts and let them know that they will know 7 months in advance. That’s enough time.
Also, I think you might find you would be a bit more mobile than you think at 6 months. Although, I would only do local, not traveling so far away weddings. Because the driving is where it will get uncomfortable and flying is pretty rare for third trimester. I’d definitely stop at 8, though. That will give you at least 2 months to nest and be all about yourself. I hope you get pregnant when you want
November does seem far away… but it’s only 6 months so really.. not that far. How do I know that? Because I’ll have a KID then. So weird…..
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46I can’t really give you any advice but I thought this photographer’s post would provide some insight:
http://www.momtog.com/2009/04/tips-for-pro-momtogs-week-4/
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Becky (rksquared) Reply:
May 1st, 2009 at 12:01 am
I think Jenna might have a new blog to add to the gReader.
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I think that assuming you have in your contract “in the situation that I cannot fulfill this contract, I will refund …” is plenty. No need to state pregnancy or not. What happens if you have that and gawd forbid you can’t get pregnant. Each time a bride reads that and says “You’re planning to have baby” you’ll feel that desperate aching pain of not being pregnant. Does this make sense?
Stuff happens and things fall apart. That’s life. Plus, if you are pregnant, and your couples are as great as they sound, they’ll understand.
Check out Lindsay from HRM Photography in Toronto. She’s was 6 months pregnant and WAY cute ..
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3142/2801888934_bdceeecbe6.jpg?v=0
Not sure when she when she stopped shooting,m but she came back approx 6 - 8 after her baby was born.
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48before we lost our pregnancy, i was SICK, SICK, SICK (from 4 weeks to about 7 weeks - so almost a month) i’m talking about sick. lol i was throwing up constantly, could barely walk up the stairs, and there is no way in hell i could have been working. so to assume that the last part of your pregnancy will be the hard part / the part you need to take off may be a little skewed.
i would write in a pregnancy clause or what-not, as you suggested. it gives them plenty of time to find a new photographer. of course you’ll risk not being hired because of this “complication” but it’d be worth it to know you’re not contractually agreed to do something you might not be able to do. what if you need bed rest all the time? etc.
all that being said, i’m excited about you having a baby & being a mama! you’re going to be soooo good at it because you want it so badly!
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49Lots of good advice! My thoughts -
- I’d write in a general back up clause in your contract, so you are covered regardless of what happens.
- Find 2-3 photog friends and make an agreement together that you guys would cover for one another if needed. Doesn’t matter the reasons, but that way you have sought out people and have an agreement before anything ever happens. Maybe you guys can also shoot with each other a couple times.
- Don’t bring up that you “might get pregnant” with potential brides. If you get pregnant, you do. But bringing it up ahead of time, would be off-putting (and perhaps seem unprofessional) to me. As a bride I’m hiring a vendor to do a task, and I want to know that they can do that task. If I sensed hesitancy, regardless of what the source of the hesitancy is, I’d keep looking.
I know people will question this comment. Suffice to say, I feel Jenna should be honest, but I’m suggesting that she not get ahead of herself in planning and announcing a potential pregnancy, since one never knows when they may conceive.
- Once you’re pregnant, assess your situation. If you’ve got a contract in what will then be out in months where you fear you might not be able to work, make the professional call then. Brides will be happy that you’ve given them time to react.
Very exciting stuff!
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