I’ve heard the process of childbirth compared to running a marathon, but I’m not quite sure that fits what childbirth symbolizes to me. Running a marathon is a rather homogeneous experience for everyone involved. They all start at the sound of the gun, run toward the finish line, progress by putting one foot in front of the other. Childbirth is anything but homogeneous, and I don’t think it should be described as such. But a metaphor seems necessary, no? All momentous life events are best described with a metaphor attached, and so I developed my own.

Childbirth is getting yourself from base camp (pregnancy) to the top of the mountain (motherhood).

There are several different ways to climb the mountain, four very distinct means in my opinion. Not all mothers fit neatly into one specific category. These are generalizations for a reason (and that reason is that listing every type of mother would exhaust my brain cells and never satisfy anyone anyway), and should be read as such. I acknowledge that many of you probably climbed the mountain a different way, but from the birth stories I’ve read and heard, these seem to be the four prototypes of pregnant/laboring women.

1. The pro-natural, researched-every-little-thing-to-death, drug-free vaginal birth mothers. These women know what they want and how they want it. They’ve taken specialized classes (not just the free or discounted class offered by the hospital). They have a birth plan. They often give birth outside of a hospital setting. These women have usually read every book they can get their hands on, and it’s usually literature with a very heavy bias away from drugs and doctors and toward midwives and birthing centers (or houses). In my experience, the majority of women in this group want to stay in this group for future births.

In terms of the metaphor, these are the die-hard climbers who train for months and months. They work to condition and prepare their bodies using unique training methods. They make the entire journey, from base camp to tip of the mountain on foot and crow with triumph when they reach the top. Their minds are clear and they feel an immense pride in accomplishing their goal. They usually spend the rest of their life preaching about what a tremendous experience their birth was whenever the topic of conversation tuns to labor and delivery.

2. The what-moves-me vaginal birth mothers. They are keeping their options open, thinking they may go natural but that they might end up going for the drugs if all of the horror stories they’ve heard are really true. They don’t want to make broad statements that might leave them feeling trapped in a certain mindset. Some of the mountain climbers in this category desire the drugs, but they don’t end up getting them because their labor progresses so quickly. After the birth is over they usually jump to a new group, as they’ve may have experienced both natural and medicated labor in the same sitting, and decided one way or another which they preferred.

When it comes to climbing the mountain, these women also make the journey on foot, although they often aren’t as prepared. They may not have conditioned their bodies in the same manner as group 1, figuring they would take the epidural ATV up to the top toward the end. They walk away from the experience either wishing they had caught the ATV express or waxing poetic about what a moving experience natural birth was. They likely won’t climb the mountain the same way the next time around.

3. The give-me-the-drugs-or-I’ll-punch-you-in-the-face mothers. These women knew from day one that they didn’t want to experience the pains of labor. They want the epidural and plan accordingly, and they usually don’t explore other options before inserting the IV. These women are in good company in the US as the majority of women in this country ask for an epidural at some point in their labor.

These women don’t climb the mountain on foot. They hire an ATV to take them up to the top, although this method doesn’t come without it’s own complications. The ride is often very bumpy, they’re still climbing a tall mountain in the open air and pressure changes and difficulty breathing are to be expected.

4. The cut-me-open-and-get-the-baby-out mothers. A very diverse group, including women who intended to be in groups 1, 2, or 3, but things did not go according to plan and now for the sake of their baby, or for their own sake, they must undergo a cesarean section. Many of these women experience both the pains of labor, and the complications of healing after major abdominal surgery, and are therefore not to be envied for their avoidance of the dreaded pushing stage. A small portion of this group belong to the elusive “elective c-section by demand of the patient” crowd, choosing surgery over vaginal birth for no documented medical reason.

Whether from base camp or halfway up, these women are airlifted to the tip of the mountain using a fancy black chopper. C-sections can last as little as 30 minutes from surgery prep to crying baby and the transition from expecting to motherhood is a very quick one. Depending on the surgery recovery experience, this option is either praised or torn apart. Almost all seem to agree that avoiding the pushing stage was ideal.

Childbirth is not something to be merely suffered through, feared or dreaded. Ladies, we should be celebrating our magnificent accomplishment! If someone went through the trials and suffering of climbing a mountain and then spent the rest of their life downplaying their achievement you would step in and tell them the reasons why their experience was worth celebrating.

The other thing we can do as women, as mountain climbers, is to stop using the scare tactics on each other. If someone who had never climbed a mountain before came to you with fears and apprehension about the upcoming experience, would you tear them down, telling them how awful it was, how terrifying it is to not know if you will ever make it to the top? NO! You would offer helpful advice about what snacks to pack, to take oxgyen to help with the climb, what dangerous areas to avoid because of cliffs and avalanche, and most importantly, to take a climbing partner who can encourage when one is floundering in discouragement. Most of all, we would focus on the end result. On the beauty or reaching the top and holding that baby in our arms.

As I said in my last post, I don’t claim to know what option is best for everyone. And most women and their birthing experiences cannot be drawn up into a categorical box such as the ones described above. Get educated, choose the kind of mountain climbing experience you want to have, and make it happen.

Because no matter how you get there, you will love the baby you find waiting at the top of that mountain.

P.S.-Some of you may already know, but for those who don’t, what group do you think I fall into?

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