12 Oct
The First Trimester
Another post from the baby blog, written October 5, 2009.
Baby,
The first trimester has come and gone, and I’m a survivor, although I didn’t really survive much when I look back on the way I’ve felt the past several months. I experienced a 72 hour period of extreme nausea which had me terrified I would have to suffer for several more months in this manner, but after a trip to the health food store and a pantry stocked with ginger beer (packed with 26g of ginger!), ginger ale, ginger tea, ginger cookies, and ginger candies, I’ve been able to stave off any nausea that threatened to appear once again. Placebo effect? I’m still not sure, but when you feel like your stomach is going to be ripped violently through your throat you don’t care what works, or why, as long as it does.
Other symptoms I experienced included fatigue (sometimes I sleep close to 15 hours/day), an aversion to really strong tastes, and low libido. I use the word libido in hopes that you won’t actually know what I am talking about until you are old enough to not be grossed out, and in fact, appreciate how your mom and dad suffered in order to bring you into existence. 
My biggest stress has been weight gain. You’ll see the photos of me back in college someday and understand why I worry so much about this. My body likes to gain weight, and will do so at the earliest convenience. I don’t want gestational diabetes, I don’t want to feel heavy in my own skin, I don’t want you to be overweight, I don’t want to do things to you know that might predispose you to gain weight like I, and the women in my family, do. Of course you have a 50% chance of getting your dad’s hairy chicken legs and the rest of the skinny genes that run of his family so maybe I don’t need to stress about it too much.
By now we’ve decided on a midwife attended home birth, even though I don’t have a midwife yet. Actually I don’t have a midwife, doctor, or doula. If you didn’t know I tend to be lazy about getting health care issues taken care of (remember that one time I suffered with back pain for a year and a half, and debilitating sciatica for almost 6 months?) but this time I believe it’s a combination of laziness and the belief that I’m not actually sick. I don’t need to go to a doctor and get “fixed” for my condition. I take my vitamins, am very conscious of what I eat (I hope we are still eating the Real Food Diet when you are growing up because it is a ridiculously pleasurable way of life) and think daily about how I should go for a walk or a bike ride or go lift some weights. I do need to find a care provider for the birth at some point though, as I’m guessing your father doesn’t want to take on the task of bringing his first child into the world to fall on his shoulders alone.
At this point all I really want is to hear your heartbeat with the doppler, something I’m not sure I need to pay X amount of dollars for. I know you’re there, I’m actually just worried there is more than one of you in there. Is this something all new mothers worry about? Not that two of you wouldn’t be twice as nice, but I have all of these plans and you know how I like to plan things.
You’re quite well known to the public by now, with most people coming up to me to say “Congrats! I read about your big news on your blog/Facebook/Twitter.” I wish you could tell me right now how you are going to feel about having your entire life documented so publicly. Will you cherish the record, or come to despise it? Please speak up now, or forever hold your peace.
Baby, most of all, we want you to know how much we love you. And that we’re glad you stuck around with us so far. We’re going to take good care of you, teach you some hard lessons, and smother you with love. Thanks for being the first of what we hope will turn into many spirits to volunteer to come down and be shepherded through life with us. We love you so much.
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
I love letter to your baby days!! It’s going to be such a treasured keepsake in the years to come!
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1Not going to lecture you, but most Dr’s, Midwifes, WHATEVER charge a set fee for L&D, including prenatal care- so whether you start seeing someone now or at 6 months, it will probably cost the same. It’s something to think about.
You should start looking for your midwife now, because one size does NOT fit all. You don’t want to be stuck with someone you don’t like or don’t feel comfortable with.
And it’s not about being sick, but having someone there who knows more than you do and knows what to look for. (mini lecture:))
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2You could go to a crisis pregnancy center - some of them have free sonograms. I mean, you run the risk that they don’t know what they are doing because they are not doctors and, at least up here, anyone can buy a sonogram machine - but free is free, and I am all about the free.
Although really, you should go to a doctor or midwife or something. Are you seriously freaking out about gestational diabetes and weight gain without having talked to a medical professional of any kind? (I just realized how totally judgmental that sounded, but I don’t really care. The internet or books are not a doctor and you need to be getting regular checkups. Access to prenatal care is the #1 indicator of infant and mother health and mortality.)
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3What a sweet post
Just wondering…are you going to share your ‘pregnancy diet’ with us? I’m very interested in it since you seem to love it so much
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4I think it is pretty immature and irresponsible that you have not received any prenatal care. Have you ever heard about a missed miscarriage? Or how important it is to date a pregnancy in the beginning? Or just how important a knowledgeable medical professional is? Like another person mentioned - books and the internet at not enough.
Hopefully, you open your eyes and start being monitored.
Also, many home births do no progress normally and the mother ends up in the hospital to delivery. Have you thought about finding an OBGyn so that you have a friendly face in the event you have a hospital birth?
I really think you are setting your self up for failure and disappointment since you are so closed minded and opinionated with your birth plan. This lack of prenatal care is just stupid and irresponsible.
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kelli Reply:
October 12th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Just so you know, Jenna has spent hours, days, and probably weeks just looking for (emailing, talking to, visiting, caling, etc) a midwife AND an ob/gyn she trusts. Just because she allows little insights into her life does not mean you know everything about her choices.
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Lindsey Reply:
October 12th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
That is wonderful if TW has been researching about her options.
But, all we can comment on is what she writes - and TW stated she hasn’t gotten prenatal care b/c she is being lazy. That paints a much different picture that what you are saying.
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JessicaMayBe Reply:
October 12th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
BLECH. People are mean. I would be so discouraged reading all of these judgmental replies TW gets… I would probably just STOP blogging because it would get me so down.
There’s no way you can see a clear picture of someone’s life or circumstance from a blog…
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hannah Reply:
October 13th, 2009 at 4:20 am
I don’t think anyone has said anything negative - just tough love. Jenna, as a general rule, seems to blog about most of a picture so to speak. Of course people are concerned by her saying she hasn’t gotten prenatal care in order out of laziness as opposed to not finding someone who ‘fits’ yet.
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Laura Reply:
October 13th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Agreed! I think people start to feel like they know you Jenna. I cannot speak for everyone..but based on my feelings….I think people are really doing it out of genuine concern for you and your baby.
We may not know all the facts…but since you are so open…we read your words for what they say. You write that you havn’t found a doc or midwife so we take that to be the “full truth”.
I do not think anyone on here has been mean or nasty. People care…more than I think you realize and after the “mountain” post….I think many of us were “jaw on the ground” shocked to hear you say that you have been too lazy to get a doctor. I think THAT aspect too is what really got to people. It may be true and it may be honest….but if you say something like that…people are going to jump all over you.
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hannah Reply:
October 13th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Thanks, Laura. I think that the ‘Mountain’ post might be why people are being a bit blunt in voicing their concerns. What Jenna said seems so at odds with her theme of preparation and education - part of that is knowing exactly what’s what.
I’m not saying get 101 U/S (it is a bit invasive for the baby from my understanding) but getting a few routine ones and some essential blood tests seems, to me, to be part and parcel of being prepared.
What happens if the baby has a problem like spina bifida, Down’s Syndrome or something. I know you wouldn’t terminate on that basis but the awareness of it as early on as possible so you can prepare seems important.
Again, everything I have said is 110% out of concern for Jenna, TH and their bub.
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I obviously don’t recommend going the “pregnancy is a healthy part of life, so I don’t need someone who has studied it to tell me about my body” route (and maybe you’ve already found a midwife at this point?) but if you are, you should know that you can buy kits with things like dopplers. It seems a lot cheaper when you divide the price by 10, or however many children you’re having.
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6I am so happy for your pregnancy, but I would more than highly recommend you get started on prenatal care. If not for your health, for the health of your unborn child. I am all about the bargain hunting - I just saved $30+ in groceries this week from cutting coupons! - but a pregnancy is not something to be either lazy or ambivalent about. It is vital that you treat your baby as lovingly as you intend to once it is born. You need a licensed health professional montoring any warning signs, especially if you are concerned about weight gain. The best of luck to you in the absolutely joyous time, but please take the best precautions for your child. Even though I am sure it is partially said in jest, schedule regular appointments with a physician to ensure your body and baby are healthy. This is not the time to joke about laziness.
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7All though a little harsh I agree. Yikes no prenatal care yet? How do you know the vitamins you are taking are the right kind for you? How do you know that you don’t have a UTI? How do you know your blood pressure is ok? How do you know your fundal growth is ok ? How do you know if your weight gain is ok? How do you know you don’t have any cervical infections? How do you know the baby is ok?
I mean these are all the things they check on the first check up to make sure your ok at the base of your pregnancy
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Brie Reply:
October 12th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Hahahahaha! This was a joke, right?
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HamiHarri Reply:
October 12th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Brie: huh? I don’t get your comment?
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i agree with the rest of the posters. get some prenatal care stat. its irresponsible to think you can do a home birth without getting the opinion of a medical professional.
and diet and weight gain have virtually nothing to do with getting gestational diabetes.
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Steph Reply:
October 13th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
By “virtually nothing” I assume you meant that weight gain is one of the highest risk factors and diet is the most effective treatment/prevention?
http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/what-is-gestational-diabetes.html
http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/treatment-for-gestational-diabetes.html
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liv Reply:
October 13th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
unless i missed it, there is nothing in your links saying that diet and weight gain during pregnancy cause GD. if you are obese pre-pregnancy, you obviously have a higher risk of developing GD, but your pregnancy weight gain and diet will not cause you to get GD. No one knows what causes it, so dieting during pregnancy will not help.
Any doctor or midwife or doula could tell you this.
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I would have to agree with all the posters about going to the dr. They aren’t there to “fix” anything. They are there to make sure that you & the baby are ok.
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10Ok, so I don’t actually agree with many of the previous comments, simply because I’ve been exposed to women who have done things non-traditionally and know that babies are born healthy and happy without following the medical model that is so common in our society…
BUT, some midwives/practices/etc. don’t want to accept women after they reach a certain point in their pregnancy because they want to be involved with and observe the majority of your pregnancy progress. My sister intended to go to a birth center with her first, but because of insurance reasons wasn’t able to make it before her 5th month, and they wouldn’t accept a pregnant mother after the 4th month or something… She ended up having a natural, unmedicated birth in a nearby hospital, but it was definitely not the experience she wanted or looked forward to.
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11I’d like to hear more about this food plan you’re on - definitely something I’m interested in!
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12I’m in my 12th week and have only had some blood tests done because I’m being referred out of the military hospital to a civilian hospital. I would agree with the other comments that prenatal care is a MUST, HOWEVER until your 12-16th weeks you won’t see a anyone after your first preliminary visit unless there are problems. After that you’ll only see your Dr., midwife, etc. once a month until week 36, then it’s weekly until birth. I don’t think you need to be panicked at this point. This was written a week ago after all, and for all we (readers) know, you’ve already found your provider.
Either way, I wish you the best…. oh, and I’m curious what the Real Food Diet is
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13“think daily about how I should go for a walk…” How honest! That line totally cracked me up (as I interpreted it as thinking about working out, not actually working out). That sounds like my thoughts. I’m very good at telling myself what I should do - actually doing them, that’s a whole ‘nother thing!
For your midwife search, http://www.beststartbirthcenter.com/ is in San Diego and I plan to go there (I know, not helpful if you live in Dallas!). BUT - their midwives do pre-preg care (paps, etc.) and see you throughout pregnancy and after. BUT - they also have a program where their midwives come to you (home births), so you can use them for the prenatal care and still have a home birth. Maybe Dallas has something similar? Is your mom coming down to photograph the birth? Happy pregnancy.
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14I am just curious about how your back problem might affect your pregnancy. Did your Dr ever discuss it with you. I know I have back problems (different from yours) and worry about how it might affect a pregnancy.
Sounds like you haven’t had any major problems so far. I hope you are able to have your home birth wish and that your back issues don’t hinder that wish. How did you tell the grandparents, and when is your family going to come out because I know mine would be dying to do so.
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15Congratulations on your pregnancy. Just speaking from experience, I’d highly recommend going to see a doctor as soon as possible. I have struggled with weight issues as well, and one thing that was detected early in my pregnancy with my second child was thyroid disease. If it had continued undetected there would have been an added risk of miscarriage in the second trimester, not to mention the other health problems and risks for the baby that come along with thyroid disease. Before that pregnancy I actually experienced a second trimester miscarriage and do not know if that was the cause. I live in Dallas and love my ob/gyn. I am seeing her right now for my current pregnancy. Her name is Tricia Shimer and her office is in the medical building at Presbyterian Hospital. Best of luck to you during this exciting time in your life!
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16I love how your freinds step up to defend you. It’s really sweet. Good freind!
I hope all these comments don’t get you down. I see what your freind was saying…but at the same time, you blog, which opens you up to all of us. And we can only go off what you write. So when someone is reading this, myself included, a person is left with the impression that you have gotten no medical care at all.
I think people were overly harsh…but I personally had the same reaction. I hope you don’t take it as people trying to cut you down and be super judgementmal. I am someone who hasn’t had the joy of being pregnant yet…but I always had the impression that you HAD to go to the dr.. I think maybe most people are like me. Are we wrong? I am learing a lot just by watching you and am very opening to being educated and learning more.
From following you blogs…you seem like someone who keeps VERY informed. Maybe you can write a post that talks about the choices you have made about recieiving, or not receiving care.
I know it may be really hurtfull when people seem to jump all over you. In this case though, I think people just read what was written and assumed that you were telling us that you hadn’t been to a docotor. You are not the only one with we strong opinions…you I am sure you know how it is to feel something so strongly. I think when women hear you say that you havn’t been to a doc…..some of the really opinionated women may jump all over that. And I bet that though it seems mean or nasty…it is probably really done out of concern.
I hope all the comments you got today didn’t bring you down. I think people were just genuinly concerened.
The lines get blurred with blogging. You put yourself out there, so people think they can comment. But your freind is right that we really have no clue when it comes to all the details.
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17Oh goodness… I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks “think daily about how I should go for a walk or a bike ride or go lift some weights” can be enough, lol. I have the same problem!
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18Hi Jenna,
Congrats again. I’m not sure how it works if you have a midwife follow you through your entire pregnancy, but I know if you see a doctor (or midwife at a hospital in the UK) they normally perform a battery of tests at the 10-12 week mark to make sure you are on track and everything is okay. For me, they spotted quite a severe thyroid deficiency early on and I’ve been on medication throughout my pregnancy. Hypothyroidism can potentially have a negative impact on a developing fetus so I’m glad they caught it early on because it may have been something I never “noticed” if I didn’t get the tests done. I suppose people could argue against taking medication for this too; obviously it is up to the individual. But they might find iron deficiency or some other problem that needs treatment (and may not necessarily be noticed by you).
It sounds like you have been having a happy and healthy pregnancy so far, and I look forward to your future posts.
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19This is really sweet post. I think it is wonderful yu are blogging to the baby. My mother wrote letters to me when she was pregnant and they are so precious to me.
That being said, I really am concerned that you haven’t had any routine tests yet. Access to prenatal care is incredibly important and a key indicator when ranking infant mortality etc. More to the point there are issues like ectopic pregnancies (though at this stage it would be unlikely you wouldn’t be in agony or in ICU), missed miscarriages, vitamin deficiencies etc. My cousin just miscarried and there was no blood, nothing. The only reason she knew was that she went for a routine scan and there was no heartbeat. She never properly miscarried and ended up needing a D&C. I don’t mean to b paranoid but it is really dangerous for these things to be missed and being in the care of a midwife or obgyn is truly important.
Kelli, a blog is a public forum and when Jenna states she hasn’t found prenatal care out of laziness then the response is obviously going to be negative. I know you mean well but Jenna reveals a significant amount about her life and as a result people do tak what she says as the bulk of the story because as a general rule she tells the bulk of the story.
I think most people are practising tough love out of care for Jenna, not to be nasty. I know my comment above is entirely out of concern for someone whose blog I read regularly and who I would hate to see suffer as a result of inadequate care.
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HamiHarri Reply:
October 12th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
What she said!
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B Reply:
October 13th, 2009 at 9:37 am
I agree; it is all done out of concern for her and the child’s wellbeing (well, I can only speak for myself, and I agree with you). It is remarkable that someone who has boasted about researching options and doing the healthiest and best things for her baby and herself has not taken what is considered to be the most important step. Prenatal care, Folic acid, vitamins, sonograms, monitoring of fetal vital signs…as “natural” as a birth can be, it is quite responsible to admit that thanks to the wealth of information at our fingertips we can be as well informed as a physician but not be able to look at the big picture since we did not study the entire workings of the human body and reproductive system. We, as lay people, are not entirely aware of what may be warning signs for a future condition or a predisposition to something. I find it negligent to not have that third party who has been educated, as whose job it is to be aware of warning signs and be liable for the health of two individuals. If someone is involved and responsible enough to study all that is out there regarding birth options, etc, then does it not negate that effort to omit finding an obgyn and midwife/doula until more than three months in to an individual’s first pregnancy? I am a little shocked that someone who wants to be aware of all the options does not see a gynecologist before she begins trying for a baby and discusses these plans. That is what is recommended and in my opinion that healthiest approach.
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I agree with many other posters about getting prenatal care. I’m pretty shocked that you did/do so much preparation and don’t even bother to seek pre-natal care?!
I called the day I got the positive test- they didn’t want to see me until about 9 weeks and then again once a month.
However, in that time I had blood work done for things like anemia and other conditions that could adversely impact the pregnancy.
I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry- you will NEVER forgive yourself if something that could have been treated early and easily winds up hurting your unborn child.
You mentioned all the things you want to pass on to your baby- and all the things you don’t. Perhaps get yourself to the doctor/midwife and be sure that laziness with regards to medical issues is something you DON’T pass on!
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21As some have said in prior posts, there is a concern that readers might someday tell themselves, “I once read about someone who got no prenatal care until, like, the 15th week, so it’s no big deal if I don’t see a doctor.” now, naturally, if you have gone by now or if you went & were given some kind of medical advice, people may have draw the wrong conclusions from this post.
I also love the baby blog snippets but wonder if the message you are sending is that it’s alright for everyone to be cavalier about medical care in their pregnancy, so long as they eat real food and read a lot about giving birth.
As always, though, thanks for sharing your story. Everyone runs the race differently, and the diversity of opinions here is interesting, to say the least.
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22Jenna,
It’s lovely how you are documenting your pregnancy - I’m sure your little one will love to read it in years to come.
But seriously, you gots to get yourself some prenatal care, yo! The posters above made some really important points. Of course you don’t have to get a million u/s etc, but prenatal care is SO important for a healthy baby and a healthy birth - which I know is so important to you. So get on it girl!
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23This could be totally non-true, but Jenna only wrote that she doesn’t have a midwife, doctor, etc. YET. This could mean that she hasn’t committed to someone, but has still had an initial checkup with her regular ob/gyn.
I certainly agree pre-natal care is very necessary and there were some very polite posts making that point, but there isn’t a enough in this post to make harsh, judgmental comments about.
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24Jenna-
Do you ever worry about having your photography site linked on your personal site? I wonder sometimes if it would hurt some ones business if their views and opinions are not inline with their potential clients.
ALSO I can’t believe with all the research you’ve done that you wouldn’t have some prenatal care already. I have total faith in you that you have.
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25Hanging in to hear an update from Jenna…. I could have sworn she said in some of her earlier pregnancy posts that she had visited with several obgyns and midwives. Here’s hoping that’s the case.
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26My friends Chris and Lindsey are pregnant with their second baby. Their first beautiful girl had to be delivered by c-section after her heart rate dropped late in the pregnancy. They had to scrap their plans for v-birth, which is sad, but she’s a happy, healthy girl now.
They got pregnant right after trying this time, too. Lucky! But right off the bat, when they went in for their first visit, the doctor was able to tell them something critical that the never would have known themselves. Lindsay was carrying a baby, but also a big clot- something that made her pregnancy very high risk. Shortly after, she started bleeding, and they feared for a miscarriage… but thankfully, the baby was OK!
The clot is still there, but for their doctor, they wouldn’t have known the risks and what precautions they could take to keep a healthy pregnancy. Poor Lindsay is now on full pelvic rest (no getting it on at all) for her entire pregnancy… and she may require bed rest later, but for now she’s just dealing with a slightly uncomfortable pregnancy.
Their doctor’s visit also showed them that she has “placenta previa,” is a complication of pregnancy in which the placenta grows in the lowest part of the uterus and covers all or part of the opening to the cervix. Unless it moves, she can’t try VBAC (which is still not always an option), but they’re also telling her that the placenta might be adhering to her c-section scar.
Not all of these things are even relevant to your pregnancy, but they’re all things only a doctor could have told them. They also had a quad-screen, which told them their baby might be at risk for spina bifida (though the indicator protein levels might also be raised due to the clot). As much as that doesn’t influence their decision to carry the baby, it does tell them something to monitor during the pregnancy, and allows them to prepare in the case that their baby is born with that or another neural tube problem.
I’m totally with you in that I don’t want to treat my pregnancy like a disease. That’s one of the reason I’m against giving birth in a hospital unless there’s a complication. I’d rather do it at home. But I definitely want a pro to tell me if there’s anything I need to be careful of. I bet your midwife will take good care of you!
Oh! And these same friends purchased a Doppler online to listen to the baby’s heartbeat. I believe they got one for $125 from China… and it works fine! They were just over at our place last night and we all heard the baby’s heartbeat. Yaaaay.
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27Congrats on the pregnancy! I’m glad you got through the worst part. 2nd tri is the best. You start getting your energy back, you’re obviously pregnant so no one thinks your just getting fat, and the best part of all… baby movements. You’ll love it.
Get the mommy doc figured out soon. Ultrasounds are so important in the early stages to make sure you don’t have any complications that would prevent you from lifting any weights. I’m not sure about mid wives, but OBs charge the same amount for pregnancy and delivery regardless of how many appointments you have so it isn’t cost affective to wait it out.
Also if I could plug my Pediatrician His name is Dr Macanally and his office is on Sandy Lake. He is awesome. This is what I like about his office:
I never wait long for an appointment.
I always see him, never a nurse prac. Not that nurses are bad, but If my copay is the same either way, then I want to see a doctor.
His nurses are really good with giving shots. Baby shots are horrible there is no way around that, but she gave my 3 year old a shot and because she was so good and giving discrations, we had zero tears.
He doesn’t charge for after hour phone calls!!! And he always is so glad that you called even on New Years Eve. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Every well baby check up after he has checked tha baby out and answered all your questions, he always asks me about my marriage and if I am getting enough dates with my husband. He is just a wonderful man!
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Justin Speyer Reply:
October 14th, 2009 at 1:21 am
Katy,
Since I’m a nurse practitioner I can’t help but mention something in response. While copays may be the same, your statement implies that NPs are intrinsically inferior to doctors. The two professions are different and while without a doubt MDs have more school that does not necessarily make them “better” or “worse” for patients in many settings.
I’ve had many many patients who feel that by seeing me they get far more personal attention, time and feedback than when they see MDs and I have never had a patient who saw me who then felt that I provided less adequate care than their MD. Certainly when I don’t know something I consult with other professionals, whether they’re MDs, NPs, PAs or RNs. All medical professionals do this and it makes us more, not less, effective.
Only once did I have a patient who refused to see me and wanted to see the MD instead. I believe the quote was “You have some fancy letters after your name but the only ones I see are ‘RN’ and I want to talk to the person with book smarts”. Not only was the doctor mortified, but the patient missed out on a 30-40 minute session discussing the risks, benefits, alternatives and techniques being used in their procedure since the MD could only spend about 5-10 minutes with him. He came off as ignorant and arrogant and the only person who it really hurt was him.
I would strongly recommend seeing a provider who listens and makes you comfortable instead of just going by the letters after their name.
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Katy W Reply:
October 14th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
I’m sorry If I came off negative about Nurses. I think they are amazing and your comments about extra care is acurrate. After delivering 3 babies in hospitals I laugh at how much time you spend picking OBs when all he does is play catch. I wish that I could pick my nurse for the labor process. She is the one who helps out the most.
What I meant by me seeing the Dr vs the Nurse was that many Pediatricians have very busy offices and have so many patients that they are hardly available to see any sick patients the day of (I had such a pediatriacian). Even though I did feel like I got excellent answers from the nurse I felt like my Dr was too busy for me because in fact, she was. This is not always the case, just an experience I had.
I love Dr Mac because he specifically keeps his day loose by not double booking paitients and leaving ample time for last minute appointments.
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I love your letters to baby! I think that someday they will be a treasured memory for him/her/them.
(Just don’t print and include all the nasty/mean/rude/hateful comments!!)
So I am uber curious about one particular point with homebirths…. clean up. I’m sure its on a whole other level, but I hate cleaning the toilets and make my husband reach in the garbage disposal if it gets stuck - I can’t imagine cleaning up after birth! (Or is that part of the mid-wifery?) Just curious.
I have been uber lazy about important things in my life, but I wouldn’t be able to stand the curiosity if I thought there was more than one!! (Yeah, I’m also the gift box shaker at Christmas - when it comes to curiosity, I’m just glad I’m not a cat.)
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Evelyn Reply:
October 13th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Usually your midwife instructs you how to prepare. I’ve heard of beds being made, covered with a plastic sheet/wrapping and then being made again with old sheets. There are also disposable “cloths” that can be set out on floors and other surfaces that may get messy so the clean-up is easy. I’ve never heard a home-birthing mother complain about a mess afterwards! =D
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Anna Reply:
October 13th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
SEBB,
If you’ve ever had a chance to see “18 Kids and Counting”, Mrs. Duggar has had 15/18 homebirths and according to her it is hardly any mess. Also, “Birth Day” shows the births, and the baby is messy but that’s pretty much it. Unless the baby defecates in the womb (very dangerous) amniotic fluid is like water (clear), not urine. Pretty amazing that it isn’t messier! I always thought it was too
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Erin Reply:
October 13th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
I always thought it was super messy - that’s good to know!
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HamiHarri Reply:
October 14th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Um ladies…from all of the reading I’ve done and listening to other birth stories from women IRL, it IS very messy. TV shows aren’t likely to show the incredible amounts of blood/afterbirth on primetime TV.
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Megan Reply:
October 14th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Having watched three in-hospital vaginal deliveries, I’m going to have to agree with HamiHarri here and say that each one was messy. The amount of blood is probably equal to what you’d get on you’re heavest flow day during your period. Plus you have to pass the Amneotic Sac (sp?) and the placenta. Google them, and you’ll get an idea of how messy it can be.
A few things to consider, in hospital births the doctors place a heavy plastic cloth with a bag at the bottom underneath a laboring women’s butt. It catches everything from the birth to the afterbirth into aneasy to clean bag. So you won’t always see anything on the ground in these shows. I’ve never seen TV crews zoom in on this, or film the afterbirth which is usually messier than the actual birth. Nurses are also very gracious about cleaning up any other messy aspects of labor without mentioning a word to the mother or anyone else.
Also when Mrs. Duggar mentions that birth isn’t that messy, it should be remembered as an example that after cleaning a gross kitchen 18 times you tend to have a different context than someone whose only done it once, twice, or never before. That and after cleaning up poop, urine, vomit, spit-up, all of the above at the same time for over 20 years the afterbirth mess is a walk in the park.
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Kathryn Speyer Reply:
October 14th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Also with all the pushing, a lot of ladies tend to do a little bit of “number 2,” if you know what I mean. Not a lot, but it’s not exactly a sparkling clean experience.
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“…and the belief that I’m not actually sick. I don’t need to go to a doctor and get “fixed” for my condition.”
Just wanted to point out that a LOT of what primary care doctors do is not seeing and “fixing” “sick” people but helping perfectly healthy people stay that way. Taking your baby in to the doctor during the first few months of it life is a great example. They may be perfectly healthy but a doctor can either pick up on early signs that something might go wrong and help prevent it, or else help the healthy baby stay that way to begin with. My point is a LOT of what doctors do is prevention, education and screening of perfectly healthy people, which is exactly why pregnant women see OB/GYNs. The idea that you need to be “fixed” by a doctor is not true at all. Doctors don’t see pregnancy as an illness, but a beautiful part of life that they want to go as well as possible for you.
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30Prenatal care is vitally important to the health of the mother and the health of the baby… I really hope that your readers realize that lack of prenatal care is not something to aspire to!
Conditions like rh incompatability, hypertension and gestational diabetes (which you may be prone to with your weight issues) are best managed when picked up early… The idea is to prevent complications, and the only way to do that is to be evaluated… just as you would for your routine physical. The counseling you receive at the first visit is worth it in it’s own right. I learned so much in that first discussion…
People who get first trimester prenatal care have better birth outcomes, healthier babies, less NICU stays and less fetal demise. They’ve done studies following kids with and without early pre-natal care and the benefits extend all the way to school age!
Spin it the way you like, but I would encourage you and anyone who is reading to get prenatal care early… it’s giving your baby the best possible start to life. I don’t know if I can impress this upon everyone enough!
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