As I wrote at the beginning of the month, throughout the year I’ll be linking to different LDS related content across the web that I found interesting this month. I’ll also be adding a short blurb about the book I focused on finishing this month and how it helped me grow as a person. I hope you will always let me know what you enjoyed most so I can work to find similar content to share with you in the next month!

Posts

Why It Is Sometimes So Hard to Understand the OT-The author of this post, Jim F, spends some time speaking about differences between Hebrew thinking and our own.

Secrets of the patriarch’s bear flag-An interesting story about the first American flag flown over Los Angeles.

Haiti earthquake inspires compassion-How the Church has responded to the crisis in Haiti.

We Should Be Mormons-A wonderful, beautifully written post about how science and faith can work together in our belief system.

Baby Born at Tonga Temple-My favorite post of the month. LDS endowed members will likely also be as stunned as I was to read that the woman who delivered the child got up and walked right into her session directly after! I of course, also love the author’s reference to the LDS belief that the home can be as sacred as a temple. I sincerely hope that my birth will be a sacred experience.

“Not lucky, blessed”-When we hear of hardships others around the world are experiencing it can be difficult to come to terms with how unequal it all feels. The author of this post reminds us that we aren’t lucky, we’re blessed by the Lord and should acknowledge it as such.

The Black Hole-Excellent post on how we might adjust our approach to teaching our children about the dangers of pornography.

First Presidency Appeals to Church Members to Help People in Haiti-The leaders of the Church are asking us to do more, both with our monetary contributions and our faith.

Talk

To Acquire Spiritual Guidance-Elder Scott talks about some very personal experiences he has had with receiving personal revelation from the Lord. Reading this really made me think about how I can do a better job of listening to what the Lord would like to say to me, rather than telling Him what I need in my life.

BOOK

The Savior & The Serpent- The book I chose to focus on finishing this month per my New Years Resolution to read one Church related non-fiction book per month. Alonzo Gaskill was my favorite religion professor at BYU, and it’s likely that my February book choice will be written by him as well. I absolutely cannot recommend this book enough to anyone who is interested in an LDS interpretation of one of the most important events in human history, The Fall of Adam. The first section covers the LDS view of The Fall, labeling it as commonly misunderstood and explaining why the Fall was necessary as a part of God’s Plan of Happiness. The second section breaks down the events of The Fall comparing you and I to Adam and Eve, explaining how their actions were a type for our own. Chapter 3 speaks of Adam and Eve as types for Christ and His Church and the last section covers textual insights into the doctrine of the Fall.

To give you a little taste, I’ll quote from the section that comments on the phrase “I will greatly multiply they sorrow and they conception” found in Genesis 3:16. (I don’t think it’s any surprise that I was so interested in a commentary on what purpose the pain of childbearing and labor might serve!)

There may be both literal and symbolic meaning in this phrase. In the more literal sense, Eve, and all women after her, suffer physically during childbirth because of the Fall and the changes it brought to the physical body. However, the pain of giving birth has also been seen as a symbol of the members of Christ’s Church struggling to give “birth to temperance in their soul.” Augustine wrote: “Carnal desire… does not [cause] pain in the beginning, until [a] habit is bent toward improvement… In order that this [good] habit might be born, there was a painful struggle with [the] bad habit.” The pains of giving birth not only remind us of the Fall. They are also a sign of impending joy. Just as the pains bring forth a child-which the parents rejoice in-our trials can bring forth change and redemption-which will be the source of eternal joy for all those who are willing to experience the “labor pains” of the mortal test. Change does not come easily. If we are to overcome sinful desires and habits, there must be significant travail preceding our being “born again.”

Video

At a time when I think we all feel a bit hopeless or powerless to help meet the needs of others, I appreciate this reminder that God works miracles, both great and small, and we can petition those miracles through the power of prayer.

Prayer is the provider of spiritual strength… It is the passport of spiritual peace… Miracles are wrought through prayer.- -President Thomas S. Monson

Why oh why did I spend so much time as a kid wanting to “grow up”? I’d be pretty happy to have my biggest worries whether my crush liked me or how to avoid unloading the dishwasher for another night. Instead I’m spending my time trying to figure out how to handle my decrepit car and how to best help those who have been absolutely devastated by the events in Haiti.

Abbie Cabbie

This is my car, or at least, one that looks just like it. Last month I poured $900 into her in an attempt to fix the brakes (I take responsibility for waiting too long to get the brakes fixed which cost me extra money, but it still would have cost me something to replace them), and now I’m told that the clutch is wasted and could cost something like $1200 to fix. Unfortunately this little car of mine is now only worth $3000-$4000, and so pouring another thousand dollars into it might not be the best choice.

Things to consider:

A. The cars worth and the amount of money that we would need to pour into repairs. The clutch needs to be replaced, the windows don’t roll up and down, the cruise control doesn’t work, and the air conditioning is rather weak. The scratches over the back left tire could probably use a paint job as well.

B. We don’t want the baby traveling in this car, so once That 1 comes Abbie will belong to That Husband (something he is not very excited about). We would prefer to have two cars that we feel comfortable transporting our child in.

C. We’re hoping to move away to business school this Fall. We might move somewhere where only one car is necessary. We might need two.

D. We do, indeed, need two cars here in Texas. Public transportation isn’t an option where we are, and That Husband doesn’t have the kind of job that allows him to carpool back and forth to work. I can’t run a photography business (even part time) without a vehicle to transport me to shoots, consults, etc.

Should we sell the car as is? Fix her up and sell her immediately? Fix her up and keep her until we move to business school this Fall?

Haiti

Heartbreaking, devastating, tragic on incomprehensible levels. Where have you donated? We’ve been doing our research and talked about several different options but we want to make sure our money is used as effectively as possible. I think That Husband has already taken care of our donation but I was thinking that it might be possible that there are others who feel unsure how they can be the most effective. Please leave your suggestions (with links if possible!) with ways you have donated and where in the hope it will help others make up their mind if they are wavering.

On a bit of a lighter note, I cried as we walked into Avatar tonight. That Husband had said it was really important to get there early and get good seats, but it took me much too long to get out the door and we walked in just in time to grab two seats together in the second row. He started saying he would rather sit separately in sections farther back and I burst into tears feeling like I had ruined the date we had been looking forward to for weeks. Guess those crazy pregnancy hormones are finally kicking in for me!

P.S.-I loved the movie but cried and cried as I watched them destroy the indigenous people. What are some other movies that deal with the topic of destructive colonization in this way?

Naming you child is hard, at least for us. We won’t be revealing our final choices publicly (no need to have people express their dislike after it took us so long to find a good fit in the first place) although I do plan on writing up a post about our criteria, favorites either of us have had that have been rejected, and names that almost made the list but didn’t. I can’t write that post until we agree on some favorites though.

Today though, we’re playing a game. One night when discussing names TH jokingly suggested we name our babies using the letters of my name. First baby starts with the letter J, second E, third N, and so on. Fun, right? They won’t have my maiden name, but they can have a part of my first name with to them in some way. I would never want to do this, but I did have fun coming up with the names I would attribute to each letter. I chose from the list of names I’ve compiled from our family tree the last few weeks.

Source

J-Jean

E-Etta

N-Niels

N-Nora

A-Adele

Yep, all grandma/grandpa names. And no we aren’t planning on having five kids. Right now we are planning on having one. Then two, then three, until we decide to stop.

Now it’s your turn. You can come up with names for J-E-N-N-A, or you can come up with names for your own first name. Who knows, maybe one of you will suggest a name we fall in love with and end up using!

And I leave you with a real clothes shot WITH makeup on my face just for kicks. 3 weeks until my maternity shoot!

What week do you think I “popped”?

I’m a member of a Yahoo group for HAND (Homebirth Association of North Dallas), which provides me with all kinds of useful information about birth photographers, pediatrician recommendations, and how people have dealt with having children present at their home birth, among other things. When I received a notice that the January meeting was happening this week, and that the topic would be on preparing for the first few weeks after baby was born, I decided to go. It was a bit hard, as I didn’t know anyone there and it’s never very fun to be in a situation where you have to put yourself out there to meet people, but I was glad I went because it was wonderful to be in a room surrounded by women who had experienced not just one, but two, three, sometimes four out-of-hospital births. There really are other people doing this!

We spent about an hour talking and eating, and then one of the members, a postpartum doula, took the floor to talk about different ways to best plan for the postpartum period. Pregnancy affords us months and months to plan for birth, a momentous event, but entirely too many women talk about getting home from the hospital (and all of the pampering that came from the nursing staff) and realizing they have no idea how to handle life with this new little person. I’m writing this rather late at night, and I have many other things I should be doing right now, so I’m just going to paste in the notes I took on my iPhone with a few comments added in parantheses for clarification. I’ll eventually be writing up a postpartum plan for myself (as well as some birth plans), and I’ll share what I came up with here on That Wife. This meeting was a great way to jump start the process!

One of the biggest things we are working to do is trying to find a way to coordinate visits from family to make sure everyone doesn’t come at once, leaving me overwhelmed at the end of two weeks because I’ve had people cooking and cleaning for me and then week 3 comes and I’m all alone. That Husband gets two weeks of paternity leave, my mom is going to come, and my sister is going to come down. Finding a way to effectively manage all of those visits has been quite a challenge! Right now I’m thinking Week 1 will be just husband and I, week 2 will be TH and mom, week 3 will be just mom, week 4 sister will come and mom will leave, and at the end of week 5 sister will leave. We’ll see if we can make it all work.

Suggestions from a postpartum doula:

-plan for post partum the way you plan for your birth (research! talk to other moms! gather resources!)
-challenges other moms in the room have faced: breastfeeding, not having food brought over, no help from family, preparing ahead of time for breastfeeding issues, relieving gas, dealing with multiple kids at a time
-line up a lactation consultant before the birth
-the doula visited HEB breastfeeding center when she was struggling
-find the right lactation consultant for you
- have contact information for lactation consultant, pediatrician, take out menus, emergency contacts, and other contact information all ready and readily available
-”lying in” is a time in other cultures when new mom doesn’t have to do everything, create your own lying in environment
-stay in and around your bed for 7 days to recover if possible
-no housework for the first 2 weeks if you can help it
-stock pantry with finger food and freezer with frozen meals
-make friends with another new mom who has recently been through the same thing, find a breastfeeding or new mom support group
-decide ahead of time what dad can do an set certain tasks that are his. Taking baby for a walk, bathing baby, 30-60 mins of alone time with baby. Give dad a “thing” to do with baby.
-let go of the idea that the house needs to be clean
-develop a post partum plan the same way you would develop a birth plan
-enjoy newborn time
-set up changing and feeding stations around the house (baskets with burp cloths, snacks, book, water, diapers, wipes, changing pad)
-get a really good breastfeeding support pillow (The Boppy is talked about a lot, but almost all lactation consultants like the My Breast Friend pillow much better)
-eat well for better breastfeeding
-write down how the laundry is done, where cleaning supplies are, where kitchen supplies are, how and when the dog is walked or fed, and other things that are part of your daily routine so that guests who come to help own’t constantly be asking you questions
-think about using paper and plastic utensils for a week right after baby is born to cut down on dishes (and the stress of a messy sink!)

And a few of the books she recommends to all her moms:

The Fussy Baby Book
Good Nights
The Happiest Baby on the Block
No Cry Sleep Solution
Bestfeeding
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers

A friend commented on Facebook with her top three suggestions:

1. Have the number and name of an IBLCE who will come to your house 2. Have your husband stay home from work (and not bring any home!) 3. Have someone cook your meals for you

Moms who have been through this before, what would you suggest moms-to-be do to get ready for those first few weeks with baby?