10 Mar
That Baby Shower
I’ve said from the beginning that I didn’t think a baby shower was a good choice for me. I had heard enough stories (and talked to enough women) to know that sometimes they can dissolve into an opportunity for the mothers present to attempt to one-up each other in terms of who had the most painful/longest/shortest/scariest birthing experience. I long for a blessingway, but I don’t run in the right circles for it to happen. If I was going to gather together with a group of women, I wanted it to be a celebration of not just the baby and items s/he needs as life begins, but also of the impending event that would force me to transform from woman to mother. I thought that the possibility of a “horror shower” was my only option and so I wanted to avoid one altogether, opting for an open house after baby comes.
I think we’re planning on having cake, but don’t go thinking that anything like this monstrosity will be making an appearance. Via Cake Wrecks.
Then, the baby shower offers started pouring in from my dear friend in Dallas. What a wonderful group of women I am surrounded by! I started to rethink my position a bit, thinking back on the reactions I’ve had when talking about my home birth. No horror stories had been offered, no criticism voiced. The only people who had yet do to these things? My family, who I guess know me well enough that they think they are entitled to attempt to scare me into thinking childbirth is to an awful event to be dreaded. The women in Dallas though were just the opposite! They asked questions, often voiced astonishment, and wished me well. I realized that these were the kind of women I would be happy to have surrounding me in the weeks leading up to the birth, and so I accepted the offer of a friend and told her to being planning. She sent out the evite email on Monday and it’s been so fun to check the RSVPs to see who is coming. I told her no cheesy snickers-bar-melted-in-a-diaper games. We’ll see if she has other ideas in mind. 
The best part about choosing to have a shower before baby comes, is as a mom who doesn’t know the gender, I’m guaranteed to receive gender neutral gifts! We’re attempting to go absolutely as minimal as possible, in part because we both don’t like clutter, and also because we’re hoping for a move to business school in the Fall and it doesn’t make sense to stock up on a bunch of baby stuff we won’t be using until after the move happens (high chair, exersaucer, etc). I spent a few hours putting together a Wishpot registry here and a quick Babies “R” Us one here, and if any moms out there would like to give me feedback on the items I chose I’d love to hear it (I’ve deleted and added several things already!)
March 27th is the schedule baby shower day. I hope I can find someone to take a few pictures for me, I don’t think my guests would appreciate it if I was the one trying to do so!
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
First of all, that is a seriously disturbing cake. I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor but even I don’ think that’s funny. It sounds like you have a really great group of supportive women in Dallas. Enjoy being the center of attention (I don’t know for sure, but I think that stops once baby comes). Also, we’re shower twins! Except mine is a wedding shower. Exciting times ahead!
Reply
1The only thing I would recommend - as an expectant mother who has been warned by friends - is that everything on your babies r us registry you are really sure that you want. They have a terrible return policy even with their own brand, so just make sure that you will be happy with the items on your list in case you are “stuck” with them. I’m not familiar with wishpot but intend on registering at babies r us and either target or walmart, depending on availability of items i am looking for. Target’s return policy is not great either, but it is better than babies r us. However, babies r us has a small monopoly on the baby market so i will jsut be extra sure of my items as well! Hope you have a fantastic shower!!!
Reply
2Those newborn t-shirts and onsies are TINY. I think they might say they go up to 7 lbs (we had gerber, not spasilk so there might be a difference). Claire didn’t even fit the 0-3 month size for more than a week and that was pushing it (and she dropped 2 lbs so she got down to 8 lbs 3 oz). Gerber just runs super small (she wears size 24 month onsies in gerber now and 12-18 in everything else).
For burp cloths, I just bought premium indian prefolds. Spent twice as much as those gerber ones, but has a double function since I did end up using them as diapers at a later date (and now we use the newborn ones to clean up messes but don’t have to deal with spit up anymore).
I like making my own first aid kits with stuff I need for cheaper, but if someone buys it, that’s cool. I wouldn’t do a rectal therm just because a doc told me once that parents can perforate the bowel (though not common). If needed, I would just use my regular one under the armpit. Not as accurate, but I don’t really think it needs to be. Claire has never had a fever though. I also use breastmilk as a saline solution.\
Have fun!
Reply
Jenna Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:39 pm
Commenters have been bringing up the small size of Gerber onesies for weeks, and I just couldn’t grasp what they were saying, you know? Definitely something that needs to be experienced because as I was folding all of baby’s clothes and putting things away it finally clicked! The onesies that my sister gifted me for Christmas (and painstakingly stitched little designs on?) They are Gerber, newborn, and I’m just hoping that baby will still fit in then when she comes 2 weeks or so after the birth. I’d feel so bad if baby was too big to ever fit in them at all!
Reply
You will have to share which games end up getting played. I’m throwing a baby shower for my sister in April and I’m dreading that part. I’m absolutely against cheesy games (especially the candy bar diaper one).
Reply
4I have never been to a one uping shower that sounds horrible. At my sisters a few older women made some comments that I felt were kind of rude but nothing beyond that…but I think those women are rude in general.
Reply
Jenna Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:40 pm
Haha, I think that’s what I realized. I can prevent negative remarks at the shower by carefully choosing who is invited.
Reply
I went to a baby shower were non of the guests except for one had children (it was a colleague of my husband’s shower).
It was very awkward. One stupid game and then everyone gave their gifts and went to eat the brunch food.
It’s definitely important to be surrounded by supportive people and not just people who are trying to help with gifts. Did you shared with the organizer your wish of a blessingway? It could give her ideas.
Reply
6I’m glad you will have a baby shower. I do like the idea of an open house though. But I think the shower will be a special time for people that love and support you to celebrate this new chapter of your life. As for games we painted onesies at a shower I was at. It was kind of a fun way to be doing something but still able to chat and mingle.
Reply
7I know where you are coming from. It’s my current struggle. I didn’t have a wedding shower either… just a girl’s weekend at the local lake.
I’m currently trying to come up with an idea for a ‘celebration’ that is not a ‘shower’ and not ‘stuffy’. (not all showers are stuffy - but some tend to be) It’s really hard to get away from the ‘shower’ feel though. Mine will probably be in June so luckily it’ll be warm here which will hopefully give us outdoor options.
Another options is including men/kids/families in the celebration and doing something more like a picnic. My husband has stated he didn’t care either way and that could take the guest list from 30 to 60 easily! So we’re trying to focus on women only for now.
Two of my current ideas…..
Instead of gifts ask guest to bring fav baby book to start the library. (this is obviously not original) If people do bring gifts I will not open in front of everyone!
Instead of any games… I think I’m going to buy a coloring book (or two) of either generic animals or nursery rhymes and have everyone color a page - plus add a note and sign. (who doesn’t like to color) We’ll hang a clothes line type thing in the nursery and these pictures will be the decoration. As the baby gets older the pictures can go in a scrapbook and be replaced with toddler artwork! As I’m not planning to go all out with any nursery theme - I think this is brillant for decorations! My husband didn’t believe I came up with it myself!
I am getting excited about celebrating with family and friends…. even if it is somewhat ‘showery’
PS - I also decided that if out of town friends come to town I’ll probably plan some additional more intimate events with my ‘inner circle’ (OOT and In Town gals) like pedicures or a dinner party. That’s really what I’d like to do - but hard with 30 people
Much easier with just my 6 besties.
Reply
Jenna Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
Oh man, you have me feeling a bit bummed that I didn’t think of the baby book shower idea! I want to build up a nice little library but those are technically extras that I wouldn’t buy myself. Plus guests with different budgets would easily be able to find something!
Reply
I’ve been to three baby showers so far that had “blessingways” or whatever. We did the bead thing, where we each brought a bead and talked about why we picked it, and gave the mom a blessing or word of encouragement. One of the moms had the beads strung and hung in the corner of the room by her little one’s crib, and the other is planning on using it as a sort of pacifier clip (after making sure sure sure that it’s tied very well so it’s safe). Another cool thing we did was to pass around a ball of string. Each woman would wrap the ball twice around her wrist or her ankle, and then pass it on. When everyone was tied together in a circle, one of the gals prayed for encouragement, strength, clarity and peace for the mommy and the baby, and we cut the strings in the middle of each woman and tied each others as either a bracelet or an anklet. It was then worn as a reminder to think of and pray for mommy and baby until the baby was born. Very, very cool.
I’m glad you’re having something! I’m sure it will be a great celebration.
Reply
Jenna Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
This sounds so lovely.
Reply
I’m not big on the silly baby shower games either, but a couple friends threw a shower for me, and had everyone decorate onsies in a variety of sizes with fabric markers. They checked out some how to draw books from the library and set them out for people who needed a little inspiration. They turned out really cute!
Reply
10Hi! I’m following your blog from abroad and I love it!
I’m mom to a 1 month old baby boy.
I don’t think you will need a baby secure sleep. Newborn don’t move much during their first weeks of life. And when they do, they won’t fit in it anymore. Also, I think you should registry for grooming kit, breast pump, feeding bottles…and other items that can be usefull everyday!
Reply
11Boo…I cannot see the Babies R Us registry…it just takes me to the main page
Reply
12Another type of shower you could have is a Diaper Shower (sometimes called a Diaper Pounding, but I don’t like that for some reason). Have the hosts ask guests to bring diapers (make the sizes are varied). Of course, I think I remember you saying you were going to try cloth diapers…but if want disposable as well for whatever reason, there’s an idea! Another idea is shower were the focus is bringing frozen meals for after baby comes (I wish I had done that since my ward totally forgot about us). I think this is a great idea especially for moms having their 2nd, 3rd, etc.
Here’s my 2 cents on baby needs:
*Burp clothes…lots of burp clothes. That is one thing you will use like crazy and you don’t want to be doing laundry constantly just to keep you in burp clothes. I have some that are made of terry cloth and they absorb so well which means I can use them longer.
*Changing pad covers (if you have a changing pad of course) - another thing you want to have several of so you aren’t waiting for one to wash
*Non-cadillac Pack and Play - - new moms sometimes get the huge, decked out pack and play with bassinet, but the truth is it takes up lots of room and b/c it’s bigger, it’s harder to travel with - I reccommend just the regular pack and play with bassinet. Plus it’s cheaper.
*No frills highchair. I know baby won’t be in it for a few months, but whenever you get one, don’t get the ones all fluffy, decked out, millions of compartments, ‘features’ - the more ‘stuff’ the harder it is to clean and those chairs get dirty all.the.time. Just get the simplest thing you can find (ikea makes a super simple, easy to clean one) Your baby doesn’t need to be the absolute lap of luxury at meal time - they’ll survive.:)
*having said that, I do love the Britax carseats. More expensive, but well made, cozy for those long car rides, and have very good saftey ratings. The Roundabout is one that can face forward or backward - we got ours when G was ready to face front
* ditto what someone said earlier about onesies - get one size bigger - this is true for a lot of clothes brands out there. K is growing out of stuff like you wouldn’t believe so I’m starting to just buy a size larger than he’s ready for so he can at least wear something for a day and half!
SERIOUSLY I could go on, but that’s what I thought of first. I’ll come back if I think of other earth shattering info to share!
Reply
Jenna Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
I hope you know how much I appreciate these comments! So incredibly helpful.
Reply
FYI - my grammar is horrendous. I left out words left and right! Plus, I should have written “burp cloths” not “clothes” - geez.
Reply
14I haven’t even heard of the melted Snickers in the nappy game. That is freakin’ revolting. I do think the cake is hilarious, though. Cake Wrecks is my fave place to waste an hour!
I have no opinions to offer on what to buy with first hand experience, given that I am not a mother or mother-to-be.
However, as a cousin-to-many-babies, I can attest that my favourite shower gifts are either boxes of nappies (diapers) or a number of cloth ones depending on their plans. I also buy sensible things and older baby clothes because it seems people are insistent on buying the cute, tiny stuff that you might not even get to use. In my family, newborns aren’t really ‘dressed’ in outfits but rather put in (admittedly, cute) onesies or Bonds vests depending on the time of year. Easy for mum, comfy for baby and cheap!
Reply
Jenna Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
I always love discovering new words/phrases that don’t translate between Australia/UK and the US. What exactly are Bonds vests? I tried googling and it wasn’t very helpful. At least I assume it’s an Australian phrase…
Reply
Oh yeah, I got a bunch of white lap pads (I think that’s what they are called) from BRU and they are awesome. Thin flannel rectangles. Put them under baby when changing and you don’t need to replace the whole changing pad cover if they leak, or use on the floor or under the head of a spitter or whatever.
And my experience with returns is this- BRU will take back anything that was bought in their store for credit, Target does as well, but you can only do it twice a year, and Walmart will take anything they sell, but you can do it 3 times a year (and each time you can take as many items as you want). This could all be different in another state though.
To cut down on stuff, you could get a little booster seat instead of a highchair. Most of my friends do that. Target has a popular one I know.
Also, only one or two people bought me something from my registry (and that seems common) so a lot of this won’t matter. But I took back a ton of stuff and got what we needed (we didn’t need 30 newborn onsies,10 hooded towels and 16 fuzzy blankets for my June bug).
Reply
16I just had my third daughter a month ago and have found “The Happiest Baby on the Block” video to be a lifesaver. I don’t know if you registered for anything like that, but it’s truly a lifesaver for soothing a fussy baby. Well worth every cent!
Reply
Jenna Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Oh yes! I had planned on buying this but completely forgot to add it to my list. Thanks for reminding me!
Reply
I have been to quite a few showers in the last two years and not once have I heard a horror story. Maybe it is a generational thing or a regional thing or maybe my circle of friends are just different.
My favorite ones though have all been without games and with lots of laughs and good food. I would love to have my own shower be a casual bbq with both men and women, to me it is weird that baby showers are always women only, seeing as my husband was involved. Although I do find it odd when just the husband shows up, one male among many women shifts the energy.
Oh get lots of burb cloths and recieving blankets.
Reply
18I do not like that cake. I would be offended if someone gave that to me.
I did, however, love my baby shower, it was themed as Dr. Suess-I’m not big into frilly, pastel baby showers-especially since it was a girl. We were going to do daisies and my mom and I went and looked for invitations found Dr. Suess invitations and based everything about the baby shower on that. (it was adorable! I loved it!) (We are friends on facebook and you can see the pictures!
If you want. 
)
I hope it it wonderful! You will have a wonderful time.
Reply
19not sure what you have in terms of changing tables, but in my experience with my two boys, you’ll be changing your baby on the floor, on the bed, etc. Getting a changing pad, or making one, would be so much better, more convenient, and won’t cost as much.
Good luck with your baby! I love your blog! You’re going to love being a mom!
Reply
20