22 Apr
Guest Post: Ten Months on the Steppe
Although my name has become somewhat popular for babies now, I grew up being called “Evil-Lynn” by my peers and receiving “compliments” from parents that had a favorite great-aunt with that name in a nursing home somewhere.
I’m one of “those” Mormon girls that got married and had a baby before my first anniversary, at which time I became a stay-at-home-mom. Shortly after my year full of firsts, I had another huge first… I flew across the world to live in Almaty, Kazakhstan.
After living abroad for a few months, I came across a comment by Jenna (with a link to That Wife) and checked out her blog. I’m not exactly sure how the transition from reader to friend occurred, but it did, and it’s been fun.
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My husband learned that he had received a research grant to Kazakhstan, a former-Soviet, Central Asian republic, a month before our baby was born. In the four months that followed we received a number of reactions to our good news (horror, skepticism, and excitement—to name a few). On September 12, 2008, with five checked bags, a checked stroller, and three carry-on bags, we boarded our plane, marking the beginning of ten months of life in a foreign land with a people who spoke a different language, lived a different life, and embraced a different culture than I had known all my life.
With so much uncertainty, many would assume I would be fearful, but I wasn’t. Although I was going to a place that was new and very foreign to me, my husband had spent much of his adolescence, with his parents and siblings, in the very city where we were moving. During the time his family lived in Almaty, Kazakhstan, a small congregation—called a branch—of our church had been formed. Chris’ family was still in contact with many of the church members, so they knew we were coming and helped us find an apartment before we arrived. I moved from one country to another, with a network of people ready to assist, welcome, and love me.
Having never traveled outside the continental United States (not even to Canada or Mexico), I experienced new things almost daily.
I ate and loved the diverse cuisine of Central Asian and Russian food: dishes like plov (pilaf), shashlik (meat kabobs), manti (dumplings), bishbarmak (Kazakh national dish made of large, thick noodles and chunks of horse meat), pirozhky (little pies), Russian salads, pelmeni (meat-filled dumplings) and vareniki (potato, cottage cheese, or cherry-filled dumplings). I had to adapt to cooking techniques that had few, if any short-cuts—much of what we ate was cut, prepared, and made completely from scratch. I learned how to make traditional Central Asian and Russian food alongside Ta-tar, Ukrainian, Russian, Uighur and Kazakh friends, often without being able to communicate through spoken language.
Almaty has a population of 2 million, so I did as the urban locals did—walked everywhere and used public transportation, including trains, buses, marshrutkas (passenger vans used like buses), and gypsy cabs (taxi-transport from average drivers, i.e. paid hitchhiking). I learned how to lay claim on a seat when traveling with my daughter and how to hold my own on the packed buses during rush hour when traveling by myself.
I saw Kazakh traditional homes on the steppe: camel-felt, round tents called yurtas.
I bought our fruit and produce from street vendors who were well-acquainted and patient with my slow, halting Russian.
When our region’s hot water was turned off—for days—for maintenance and pipe cleaning, I boiled water on the stove for our cat baths.
I received constant advice from babushkas to put a hat on our baby’s head (regardless of outside temperature), bundle her up better, keep her away from open windows or drafts, etc. For additional protection, they spat on her (a kind of ‘ptew, ‘ptew, ‘ptew they say over the child to protect them from an envious evil eye).
My days were filled with simple things, like focusing on my daughter, preparing meals, doing the laundry, reading, and taking long walks.
After returning from a family trip to see friends living in the small town on the Russian border and the capital, Astana, I learned the happy news that our dear friend and neighbor was expecting her second child. I had the opportunity to learn about the Tajik tradition to provide meals for an expectant mother and her family for the first 12 weeks of her pregnancy. I became a Tajik myself by trying to make larger meals and share them with her family so she wouldn’t have to cook.
During the ten months I spent in Kazakhstan, a Russian-speaking country, I had, at best, “survival”-quality Russian. There were times I felt utterly isolated and lonely, and other times when I felt surrounded and nearly smothered with love and affection. Regardless of my ability to understand the words being spoken, I had to trust my understanding of facial expressions, body language, and intonation. This helped me to sometimes understand conversations and situations without a translation.
Jenna has mentioned their family’s hope to one day live in Poland. If that happens, it seems there are already factors in place to help her make a successful transition. First, Poland is TH’s home country, so he will be able to help Jenna adjust and acclimate to the change in country, culture, food, etc. Also, his family will be there for support (even if they live a few hours away). Second, the church may not be very large in Poland, but it is likely that Jenna will live in an area with a branch or ward congregation. Jenna will be able to study out of the same manuals for Sunday School and Relief Society as she would anywhere else in the world. The uniformity of lesson topics and church organization will be a source of stability and allow Jenna to understand the weekly church services and regular activities regardless of how quickly (or slowly) she learns Polish.
I have been back in the United States for nine months, almost as long as I was gone. Returning to life “as usual” has been an easy thing to do: I go to the grocery store, drive a car, and have conversations with people who understand my words and where I am coming from. But when all is said and done, I miss Kazakhstan. I miss the slow life, the friends and community we left behind, and even some of the inconveniences of day-to-day living. Kazakhstan became a part of me and, if I’m lucky, that will never change.
You can read more about Evelyn’s day-to-day life and lessons at her blog, Educating Evelyn. If you are interested in past adventures (including posts from her time in Kazakhstan) you can read about them here.
Also:
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
Thank you for the really interesting guest post! I love how you describe your experience.
(But I have to admit, I was confused at the beginning, as I read the title as “10 months on the steppeR” and expected a weight loss topic….)
Evelyn Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Ha! What a funny mix-up! =)
Wow - - never left the country and then Kazakhstan! What a cultural change! My husband often talked of other missionaries (he served in Peru) that sometimes had a hard time adjusting and would want to go home right after they arrived because of the huge culture shock. Kazakhstan would feel like another planet in some ways I can imagine, but you seemed to do well there! What an experience!
Evelyn Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Chris tried to prepare me for the very very worst and our situation was MUCH better than those pictures, so I think that helped. He also likes to joke that I was born in the wrong country and was supposed to be Kazakh… my transition was very different from his (at age 14). =D
Wow, I am in awe! Talk about culture shock! You seem to really have weathered the changes so well. I am off to stalk your blog to learn more about life in Kazakhstan.
Just out of curiosity, were your husband’s parents missionaries when he was a child? How did he end up spending some of his childhood there? And I know I am probably not the first to bring this up — but did the Kazakhs feel a lot of bitterness to westerners because of Borat?
Evelyn Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Chris’ dad worked for a company that did U.S. gov-funded economic development work.
Ahh… Borat. THe only people that ever brought it up were westerners.
My Borat soap box: Its sad that the writers (arbitrarily, I believe?) picked Kazakhstan for that character’s home country. As far as I know, the whole thing is really supposed to be a commentary of the Western/American attitude. Kazakhstan actually has quite a history of acceptance… even during the Soviet-era the republic did non-soviet approved things (like having Korean theaters, newspapers, etc. for Koreans that had been banished there). The general population in Kazakhstan is really quite diverse, so the people are not conditioned to be prejudiced or discriminatory.
phruphru Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 3:18 pm
So interesting! I am so glad you guest posted here. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us!
One more question: How did the non LDS Kazakhs respond to LDS missionaries?
A lot of people say they can’t travel abroad (let alone live abroad) after they have babies - and I think that’s absurd! Glad to see someone embracing the adventure. We both hope to spend at least a year abroad someday. What concerns me is not the inconveniences some ppl worry about (and are very real) but being away from my parents and siblings - I will miss them a lot.
Great guest post!
Sophia Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 11:26 am
Hear hear! My partner and I have already talked about how we will still seek to live abroad/travel often after children come. I’m sure it can be harder in a lot of ways, but having a child doesn’t have to mean the end of traveling adventures! Plus you’re setting the stage for your child to grow up with diverse experiences that will make them more comfortable and open minded with other cultures, both very good things.
Evelyn Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:30 pm
I replied to Erin’s comment too, but really you are right-there is something to be said for the early immersion in different countries! My husband was 14 when his family moved abroad, his oldest sibling was 18 (and a senior in h.s.!) and his youngest sibling was 2/3. You learn so much about other people, other cultures, other languages, other countries. It’s amazing, and anyone that has the chance to do it is very fortunate!!!! [With that said, it does have a unique and often very burdensome set of trials.]
Evelyn Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:26 pm
There are some difficulties to traveling with little ones, but in so many ways it’s actually better. We were pregnant rather soon after marrying, and I occasionally considered how my experience would have been different if we’d decided to wait… and honestly, I think it was better with her than it would have been without her. There are a variety of reasons for my feelings, but I’m pretty sure having her there with me made people more aware and desirous to help me. In general, the people there are very conscientious of children & mothers and I definitely felt it and felt safer because of it!
Cristin Reply:
April 23rd, 2010 at 7:23 am
My husband and I will eventually move overseas as well, and I am always cheered by people who travel with children. I don’t have kids yet, but several of my friends do. I can’t even convince some of them to join us at a restaurant “because of the baby” - and it can seem terrifying that when we have children, we’ll feel chained to the house. So thank you for sharing your story Evelyn, and thanks to other commenters for also acknowledging that children do not make you a prisoner to your home (or country!).
What an amazing experience! And I’m so glad you were able to adapt to where you were, embrace the culture, and even learn the language (regardless of how fluent you are). It can be such a hard thing to do, especially depending on one’s attitude toward the situation. Do you think you’ll ever go back, perhaps to show your daughter where she spent the first year(ish) of her life?
Evelyn Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:33 pm
We do hope to go back, at the very least to visit. Because of my husband’s interests we kind of expect that we’ll end up in Central Asia, or near the region, again. Much of life is different from what one expects and hopes for, but we hope to work and live abroad.
Evelynn, this post took me back to my mission in Ukraine…I can relate to everything you experienced (except the horse meat!). It’s awesome how all the former Soviet States are so similar…makes me feel like I could travel to any of them and do just fine. I miss Ukraine so much! I have been back for over 7 years…I still miss pirozhki & vareniki!!!!
Great post! Thanks!
Evelyn Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Ukraine, eh? Did you develop a fondness for sala?? My husband loves it, but I can’t say that I’m much of a fan.
There really are many similarities amongst the former Soviet States. While we were in KZ there was a former Russian-missionary (with wife) that lived in Kyrgyzstan. I’m pretty sure he did well because of his experience in Russia. In many ways, all the similarities are great, but it’s also kinda sad to see how many of the people lost their identity because of the intention to make them all one-and-the-same. If that makes sense?
Hizzeather Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 3:41 pm
I did not touch sala! And I never will!
So nasty. I never tried holodets either, that meat/bone gelatin stuff. Maybe if I hadn’t known what it was I may have given it a chance, but it’s too late. 
I totally know what you’re saying about them losing their identity. Ukraine has been fighting to gain theirs back for years now. When I was there, I spoke Russian (The Donetsk Mission is all Russian speaking), but everything was in Ukrainian - signs, paperwork, schools, etc. Since I left they’ve even had a big revolution (not a war, a movement) to go back to their roots and move away from Russia. I won’t pretend to understand their motives, but I respect them trying to do what they feel is right, to hold onto their culture and to be their own country. I’m sure all the other former soviet states wish for the same.
But…I love that I learned Russian and that so many countries speak it. My husband served in Ukraine as well, more recently, and he speaks Ukrainian. He barely gets to use it. And I love being able to relate to many people from those states…it makes the world seem a little bit smaller.
I’m enjoying reading your blog! My husband’s fave companion is from Kazakhstan and he just got back from his mission. He loves it there, but it’s so hard with small branches. He is going to BYU Hawaii in the fall. It’s nice to see and understand more of where he lives.
Wow, how intereting…thanks for sharing! I love the tradition of preparing meals for the pregnant woman and her family - what a beautiful way for the community to show support!
Evelyn Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:42 pm
It really is an awesome tradition! I’m 34 weeks along with our second and spent the first 18ish weeks wishing I had a Tajik neighbor! I’m a big fan of trying to get the tradition going here. =)
As long as you hold on to it, Kazakhstan will always be a part of you. I’ve also done some traveling (I lived all over Europe for 5 years of my life), and even though I haven’t been back in almost 4 years, it’s an integral part of who I am. Thanks for sharing this story with us.
8I was born in Almaty (actually, it was Almata back then…). It’s interesting reading what someone from outside the culture has to say about it. You didn’t mention too many of the bad things
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9Loved the blog. thanks for sharing, Evelyn and Jenna. You are both neat women!
10I love this post. What a neat perspective.
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