16 Jul
BFFs 4-EVAH
An oldie but goodie. He loves his bottle.
I’m still working on coming to terms with the lack of breastfeeding in my life. *tear*
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
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1.) You will have more kids - maybe it will work in the future.
2.) You are and will continue to bond and nurture T1 in a million ways - it’s a shame this one gets so elevated.
3.) You are an excellent mom. There are so many things that we all end up feeling guilty about, and we shouldn’t, so try to take this off the list and feel bad about endangering your baby with haircuts and diaper rash!
Cute pic!
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1Do you do skin-to-skin time anyway? I’m sure that’s a huge part of the bonding, so why not try whipping your tops off and snuggling together?
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2He looks like such the little old man! I love it!
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3Is T1 happy? Is he healthy? Is he loved? I am pretty sure that the answer to all of those questions are yes. Therefore, where his food comes from doesn’t matter! Don’t feel guilty for doing the best you can do for T1.
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4Oh hey, little man! Love him.
And he is a happy, loved little boy, bottle or breast. You’re doing great, Jenna.
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5He doesn’t seem to mind! He is adorable Jenna.
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6Kyle would (and still does) hold that bottle like it’s the most precious thing to him. But then again he cherishes all food - he’s my good eater. I know just how you feel. It’s weird at first, but then you get used to your new sitauation. I hardly think about it anymore. In fact, I know I will try again the next time, but this time I will stop much sooner if it isn’t working out (I nursed for almost 6 months). Maybe only 3 months - if it’s not working out seamlessly and easily by 3 months, I’ll stop. I want my babies to have breastmilk in those early days and weeks for sure (even if I choose to just pump), but I’m not going to keep torturing myself for months and months.
Besides, I’m not worried about this whole bonding thing - I was bonded from the first second I saw my babies! I’m still not sure why people list “bonding” as a requirement to nurse - the issue of bonding with my children was never an issue - had to feed Grant through a tube and we still bonded plenty well
. It was getting so incredibly painful for weeks on end that I started resenting having the baby “on” me, but we cuddled and relaxed when I could just give him a bottle.
Sorry to unload (especially since I’ve said this all before) - but I understand what you are feeling now. And every year that goes by, I get more cemented in this desire to not compare myself to others. To realize that not all plans work out and that’s okay. As long as my family is happy and healthy, life is good. And to heck with anyone that makes us feel any different.
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Katy Reply:
July 16th, 2010 at 11:17 am
I read through again, meant that bonding is always listed as a reason *to* nurse. I know that is definately a result of nursing, but to imply that you won’t bond as well if you don’t nurse, well that’s too much of a stretch to me. Bonding comes from the time spent together and baby recognizing you as mommy and the person that makes them laugh, their cries stop, and a source of loving touches and contact. Nursing helps this, but it’s always bugged me that people imply that you won’t develop that bond if you don’t nurse for as “long as you should”.
Why am I still talking about this?
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Don’t fret! There’s always a next time. Plus, your little one’s cuteness makes up for the lack of it.
Happy Friday!
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8I love how he has his arm slung around it like it’s his buddy. Awesome.
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9he is so cute. don’t be so hard on yourself.
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10Oh Jenna, Don’t be hard on yourself. You have done everything so well! You were able to give T1 a beautiful entrance into the world and he has still had a beautiful beginning too with you as his mom.
Breastfeeding is hard! It has been quite the journey for us, I’m actually writing about it right now! I think you gave it a great effort! I can *completely* understand why you decided not to do it with all that work and not being able to produce enough. To me, pumping is the worst of both worlds. It’s hard! If it is a means to an end that has positive results then its worth it, but in your situation and in so many others it is just discouraging.
I look at you and all that you are doing and I think you are doing wonderful. You are so brave to put yourself out there the way that you do. You have beautifully documented T1′s life so far with your wonderful pictures (something I am tempted to be hard on myself about- (have I taken enough pictures? Captured enough of his sweetness at this stage?) You are doing so much so well!
Kudos to you, truly. You are a great mama. Also T1 is going to be eating lots of yummy food prepared lovingly by you in the future- cooking like that is also a loving, bonding thing albeit different from breastfeeding. He’s lucky to have a mom who for one really cooks and two eats whole, nutritious foods. Healthwise, I believe you are way ahead of the majority of people whether they breastfed or not.
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Katy Reply:
July 16th, 2010 at 2:17 pm
I’ve written here before about my breastfeeding struggles (and above). With my first (who couldn’t drink by mouth for a number of reasons) pumping was the only option I had if I wanted to give him breastmilk - I found that I was really good at it! So with the nursing issues I had with baby #2, I would tell the lactation consultants that if it didn’t get better, I would just pump and give a bottle since I’m a pro at the pumping thing. They always discouraged it because they know that most women struggle with pumping and don’t like it - I would try telling them “No really! Pumping is WAY easier for me! And I know I can do it for longer than most people.”
Funny what little things we find we prefer or how differently we find these working out for us. But the bottom line - as with most things in mothering - is doing what’s right for you and baby and trusting your own decisions. Next time, I’ll have a plan in mind if I struggle again - give it a good, long try, then move to pumping if needed and for as long as is doable, then move to formula with no guilt and knowing that I did the best I could without going crazy.
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You are amazing Jenna! Don’t beat yourself up… who knows maybe with T2 or T3+ breastfeeding will work for you. Just go to bed each night knowing you are doing your best, and that is good enough. Love you!
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12That is not so important like you think… I did breastfeed my baby for a month because she did not want it any more, now I am feeding her with formula, she is healthy and T1 too, I am sure.
We are able to do everything for our little ones.
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13your baby only needs antibodies from breastmilk for less than a month. then the baby will start making its own antibodies. so I don’t think stopping breast-feeding is such a big deal after already doing it for a few months. I’m sure there are other benefits of breastfeeding too, but hey, you did your best so I’d move on and not beat yourself up over it.
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14I’ve been reading for a while and have actually been following your photography blog more closely than anything but when I saw that you were moving to Chicago I got extremely excited because you are seriously the best photographer in my eyes as far as it comes to my style. And you’re moving closer to my area which means you could possibly come here a take my and my husband’s bridal re-do pictures?!?!? Anyway, I have already requested a quote from your photography site so I hope to hear from you soon!
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