19 Dec
Christmas Sacrament Meeting Talk
Today I’m giving a talk in church, during sacrament meeting. I’ve given a talk in sacrament meeting once before, you can read it here if you like, and in that post I explain why I’m the one doing the talking in church. If you’re curious about the structure of LDS meetings you can watch a video about it here.
To those who are LDS: We’re not doing our Christmas program until next week (which means I won’t be here for it, sad!). Is this what your ward is doing too?
Little That Wife thinking sweet thoughts about giving gifts to family and friends. Not. 
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I spent the entire week puzzling over my assigned topic of “Christmas”. I admit I feel some extra pressure with this assignment, as this is the Sunday before Christmas. I wanted to come up with something really grand and marvelous, to try to reflect the spirit of the season. Two nights ago I had a dream about my talk, and in the dream I did a magnificent job. Unfortunately you won’t be hearing the talk from my dream, as I forgot what it was about as soon as I woke up, which is quite typical for me.
So I turned to the church’s website for inspiration, and immediately I found what I had been looking for right on the front page. In the First Presidency Christmas Devotional of this year President Eyring said, quote“This little child, born in a stable and cradled in a manger, was a gift from our loving Heavenly Father.” endquote
Christmas is the time of year when gifts are constantly on our mind. My mom starts calling me asking for my own personal wish list. I try to decide if my husband really means it when he says he doesn’t want me to get him anything. As a new mom I’m wondering how we will teach our children that Christmas is about not only receiving new things, but giving to those you love and those who are in need.
One of the childhood gifts that I remember most fondly was a set of handmade Barbie clothes from my grandma. And not just one outfit, but a whole box full! A more recent Christmas gift that meant a lot to me was a very nice new camera from my mom, which is meaningful because it sparked my interest in photography. I have been surrounded by family and friends who put much time and effort into giving me something I will love, and I try to return such kindness by doing the same, but I admit I don’t always feel successful.
In a 1996 talk entitled Giving with Joy President Eyring spoke on gift-giving, highlighting a few ways each of us can give more meaningful gifts. He began by detailing an experience he had during his childhood, hours after the death of his mother. As he sat with his father and brother, a knock was heard at the door. It was President Eyring’s aunt and uncle. In President Eyring’s words:
I could see that Uncle Bill was holding a bottle of cherries. I can still see the deep red, almost purple, cherries and the shiny gold cap on the jar. He said, “You might enjoy these. You probably haven’t had dessert.”
We hadn’t. The three of us sat around the kitchen table, put some cherries in bowls, and ate them as Uncle Bill and Aunt Catherine cleared some dishes. Uncle Bill asked, “Are there people you haven’t had time to call? Just give me some names and I’ll do it.” We mentioned a few relatives who would want to know of mother’s death. And then Aunt Catherine and Uncle Bill were gone. They could not have been with us more than 20 minutes.
What a beautifully simple gift! It likely cost the giver next to nothing, especially if the cherries were harvested from their own trees. Using this experience though, President Eyring presents a theory that explains the secret behind expert gift-giving.
First, you feel what the other feels. I will amend this a bit to add that even if you can’t know exactly what the recipient is feeling, you really try to understand their situation. President Eyring’s aunt and uncle focused on the temporal needs of their family, feeding them physically, and on the emotional needs, that a bowl of home-canned cherries might help them feel a little bit more like a family again after the loss of their mother.
Second, the gift was given freely. There were no strings attached, and no hints that the favor would need to be repaid. The act of giving the gift was the only reward necessary.
Third, the gift contained an element of sacrifice. His aunt likely canned those cherries for her own family, because they loved to eat canned cherries. President Eyring has since realized, “It must have seemed to Uncle Bill and Aunt Catherine that they would have more pleasure if I had the cherries than if they did. There was sacrifice, but it was made for a greater return to them—my happiness. Anyone can let the person who gets a gift know of the giver’s sacrifice. But only an expert can let you sense that sacrifice brings joy to the giver because it blesses the receiver.”
During the Christmas season we celebrate God’s most precious gift to all mankind, His Son, Jesus Christ. As Christ is meant to be the type for our own lives, we can see Elder Eyring’s theory hold true in the Savior’s example. Jesus took the time to understand the needs of the recipients of his kindness. He gave freely of Himself, looking for no reward in return, only that we glory our Father in Heaven by obeying His commandments. And He presented the ultimate sacrifice, giving His life that we might receive the greatest gift of all, eternal life. “If thou wilt do good, yea, and hold out faithful to the end, thou shalt be saved in the kingdom of God, which is the greatest of all the gifts of God” (D&C 6:13).
I know that I have been greatly blessed by our Father in Heaven. I have wonderful friends, and a husband and son who bring me so much joy. I am never wanting for food or clothing or any of the other necessities in life. Reflecting on these blessings ignites a desire to give back to God, and I can do this through obedience to His commandments.
As I am surrounded by reminders that Christmas is only a few days away, that the sale won’t last long, that this store has the must-have gift for my little one, and that that store has the perfect gift for everyone on my shopping list, I don’t have to get caught up in the rush. The best gifts will come from learning and meeting the needs of the recipient, giving without expecting anything in return, and sacrificing in some small way for the gift, whether it’s time, money, or talents.
The Gift of the Magi, O. Henry’s often-told story perfectly illustrates how to give to the ones you love. Jim and Della are a young married couple without money for Christmas gifts. Money is so tight that they can barely afford the one-room apartment they live in. For Christmas, they each set out to give their spouse the perfect gift. Della decides that she will give Jim a chain for his most prized possession, a pocket watch given to him by his grandfather. Jim sets out to buy Della a set of beautiful tortoise shell hair combs for her knee-length hair. When they meet to exchange gifts they realize that Della no longer has her hair, as she sold it to buy Jim’s gift, and Jim no longer has his prized watch, as he sold it to buy Della’s gift. Though their purchases are now useless, they are happy because they had sacrificed, and given freely, that they other might have joy.
I am grateful for this opportunity to speak to you today, as it caused me to think about changes I can make to my own life in order to better honor the Savior during the season where we celebrate His birth. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Also:
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
Great talk Jenna!
1Wonderful! I hope the talk went well!
2Great talk Jenna. We too aren’t having our Christmas program until next Sunday. I thought that was kind of strange. My daughter was in her Christmas dress this week
3I love that Gift of the Magi story. A favorite. And I love President Eyring’s story from his youth as well - maybe you touched on this and I missed it, but the other part of his uncle’s gift was easing the burden of making those phone calls. Taking on some of their burden to let family know of the death would be so helpful (at least to me) at that tender time.
I’ve been contemplating SO MUCH lately about gift giving and our extremely abundant, blessed life. I’ve been reading a lot lately about those children with special needs in orphanages in Russia and Eastern Europe especially. I’d like to think I’ve always been sensitive and charitable my whole life, but lately it’s been hitting me much harder how extremely fortunate we are. We have so much. So much. I need to get the place in my soul where I can realisticly tell myself that since I have the essentials in such abundance, I need to share much more. I need to realize that gift giving is great and nice - especially when it’s for someone special in your life that you really want to show that appreciation for, but instead of worrying myself too much over what to get for some random family member or how much I’ve spent on others, I should worry more about those that are hungry and lonely and in need of help and what I can do at any given moment. The song “Because I Have Been Given Much” has been running through my mind like crazy!
Sorry for the sermon! This has REALLY been on my mind lately! One fun thing I want to bring up in my family sometime is doing a service Christmas - in addtion to service to others in the area, we give service to one another instead of gifts. Make committments to help by cleaning, babysitting, or other tasks someone in my family would find enjoyable to be helped with. We would save money that year AND give things that are truly wanted! I’m going to hope they will join me in this one year!
Jenna Reply:
December 19th, 2010 at 6:26 pm
There is a really excellent GA talk on this, search “giving” on lds.org, I think it’s by Elder Andersen. They have a handmade gift rule, and he talks about making a key holder with his son by shaving the wood down, bending nails to make the hook for the key, etc. They give out gift certificates to their neighbors offering service like mowing the yard… Basically it’s the idea that the thought counts, not the quality or quantity.
This year we bought 5 presents total for my family. 1 for each of my grandmas, two for my parents, one for my sister. I’m giving T1 an ornament and TH is getting one as well. I have no idea what he is getting for me, we haven’t really talked about it. Reading the book Cheap really changed my attitude about buying things and I admit a lot of it has lost its thrill. I want to buy well made products by real artists. Eery single one of the gifts I listed above is handmade, the ones for my family in Poland, and I’m getting the two ornaments from a specialty shop that sells fair trade goods. I want to keep Christmas like this I’d the future, small, and my purchases going toward small businesses or artists. I guess I need to post about this as well! I have a lot to say
Katy Reply:
December 20th, 2010 at 12:14 am
I would love that post and I suppose I need to read that book. I love to make things for people (except when I’m silly and wait until DEC 13th to start handmade pillows for my nieces!AAH!) Some in our family tend to think they need to give us a certain number of presents, and they largely aren’t things we find use for. I’d rather get one, thought out present (homemade or not) then 5 random things that will just clutter up my life. Landon and I don’t like too much clutter as well, so we try not ourselves to buy too much “stuff” and I try not to buy other people just “stuff”. I think you know what I mean.
I love the idea of handmade Christmas. If I start early enough I can do it, but I need to remember to also rely more on etsy type things if I’d like to keep it handmade without making it myself.
This is my first time making a comment but I can across your blog through a friends…anyhow, I have been thinking about this topic a lot lately too. We had our Christmas program today though. We just had our child and with me staying at home, our money is much tighter than ever before. So I made most of our gifts and decided to have a strict budget for everyone. It has been nice though, because I have really tried to make them personal and semi-homemade. I can’t wait to share with my family more than receiving anything! Great talk and I love the story of the cherries!
5Jenna, I really like this post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I’ve been in a really reflective mood this month and it’s felt like I’ve been incapable of actually doing a lot of the things that I wanted to, in terms of holiday shopping and prep. But I think there’s a reason for that.. we really should be spending this pre-Christmas season (Advent as we Catholics call it) doing more spiritual reflecting as opposed to frenzied crazy shopping etc.
I admit that I really like shopping so I have lots of fun with Christmas gift giving.. but I need to think more about what is really important for me to be spending my time and money on. I will have to look into the book you mentioned above.
6It’s interesting how as a child, without money to spend and once we realize than presents don’t only come from “Santa”, we took the time to make things. Oh some of the presents we made may have been ugly things, but the thoughfulness involved meant a lot.
Then we go through this phase where because we earn money and as a child we received things purchased we feel that it has to be store bought (well I’m generalizing here, it may not be the case for everyone).
I’m at this stage where there are things that I do wish to purchase in the store but I also have a tight budget with my husband as we try to pay off debt. So I turn more and more toward homemade goods. I get a better feeling by giving things that I work on.
I’ve decided that from now on, since we both live far away from our families (his birth mother in Hawaii, my family in France) that we will make a photo album as a Christmas present everyear. I’m trying Blurb this year and I feel that the time I put into it gives it more value, it’s thoughtful.
For others I will make a breakfast basket, Hawaii theme: homemade coconut syrup, pancake mix with macademia nut, and Hawaiian coffee that my husband doesn’t drink since he stopped caffeine.
Anyhow, I think you picked a great subject because it makes us think about the meaningfulness of giving.
7I would add that this also reminds me that while it’s great to think about it during Christmas time, it’s year round that we should look for opportunities to give.
Lovely.
Can I admit, though, that I have never really liked the Gift of the Magi? It always makes me feel more sad than inspired. Especially since their sacrifices were for gifts that, though they are traditional, are unnecessary. And then it was for nought.
8I really enjoyed reading this talk, Jenna!!
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