When you’re the mom of a whiny one year old, you’d poke an eyeball out if it meant a little peace and quiet. Unfortunately, quiet babies are only found doing something they shouldn’t.
This instance was a very benign form of naughtiness, drinking out of mommy’s water bottle.
Other forms of naughtiness that can keep a toddler busy for hours:
Playing in the toilet bowl
Pulling all of the chemicals out of the chemical cupboard (don’t worry, we have since ordered some childproofing locks)
Pulling the wipes out of the wipe box one at a time
Unrolling an entire roll of tilet paper
Making a mess of any sort
Taking his diaper off
Digging in the master bedroom dresser drawers for… things mommy and daddy use during their private time (and then leaving them lying around the house for guests to notice when they come over for dinner (true story, and to make matters worse it was actually the missionaries that he did this to!))
Don’t give me that “who me” face. I know all your secrets kid.
I need a good laugh, as life with him can be a bit frustrating. What naughty thing has your kid done lately?
May 25th, 2011 on 8:34 am
Oh the toilet bowl is an all time favorite of my daughters. Along with swishing things in the dog’s water bowl and then putting them in her mouth.
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May 25th, 2011 on 8:40 am
OMG! I am dying laughing that he pulled out your “toys” and left them laying around the house. How hilarious!
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May 25th, 2011 on 8:46 am
I spent many hours as a teenagers scrubbing the walls because my sister had an affinity for using them as her art canvas. Now I look forward to having her over to clean my walls one day! lol.
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May 25th, 2011 on 8:46 am
Oh gosh Jenna, you’re a lot sassier than I ever will be! Don’t your families use your blog to keep in touch? And you’re mentioning private-time things? Whew, I’d be bright red every time I saw them!
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Jenna Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 8:59 am
Haha, I left things vague. It’s actually funny to hear what people assume I meant
. It was very embarrassing though.
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Marissa C Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Ha…don’t worry. It just gave the missionaries something to look forward to when they are married
I need to find a new place for our stuff when our baby can walk,though…
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May 25th, 2011 on 8:52 am
you definitely brigthened up MY day
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May 25th, 2011 on 8:55 am
So, I don’t have a kiddo, but I did have a puppy at one time… and she managed to open the adult private-time drawers also. And thought that what she found was a chew toy. Three times.
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May 25th, 2011 on 8:59 am
My sisters wrecked my beautiful bedding set with hot pink lipstick. I hated them for it. Sometimes I still bring it up 18 years later…
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May 25th, 2011 on 9:02 am
My sister once did a lovely wall mural using the contents of her diaper. I don’t remember this, I’ve probably blocked it out.
I’m hoping he just dragged out some condoms or something like that and not anything super risque!
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Jenna Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 12:14 pm
I did this! Its one of my mom’s favorite stories to tell about me. Thanks mom.
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stacey Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 12:58 pm
I did a wall mural as well! My mom used to use that story a lot, but I haven’t heard it recently. Whew! (Btw, she used to put my diaper on backwards to keep me from taking it off. Not sure if you’ve tried that already?)
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Hayley Marie Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 7:53 pm
I know people who have had to use ducktape to keep the diaper on… otherwise there would be daily murals
My little cousin simply started taking his diaper off when he was outside and his mom would find him peeing in the packyard… luckily he never tried doing it in the living room 
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brandy Reply:
May 27th, 2011 at 9:36 am
I asked my mom what she did and she actually moved the crib to the middle of the room, apparently my sister didn’t dig painting her crib or herself as much as the walls. My mom also told me that I took a big box of maxi pads(this was the early 80′s when they were the size of bed mattresses.) and stuck the whole box to my bedroom wall. And used one as a doll bed.
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May 25th, 2011 on 9:06 am
Ha! Although we don’t have kids yet, our dogs get themselves in similar trouble
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May 25th, 2011 on 9:12 am
My 17 month old goes immediately for the dog dishes- splashing all the water everywhere.
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May 25th, 2011 on 9:18 am
Not my kid, but my nephew. When he was maybe 4, his teacher had asked him to do put away toys, or something of that nature. And he looked her straight in the face and said “Hey. When I’m rollin’ in the Benjamins, I’ll throw YOU and YOUR DOG a bone.”
Oops…guess it was time to turn off “School of Rock”!
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May 25th, 2011 on 9:31 am
These pictures are pretty adorable though… little stinker!
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May 25th, 2011 on 9:37 am
Just this last week, Dorothy discovered the water cooler in our kitchen, and how much fun it is to push the button and let water run out into a river. A gallon and a half of water, all over my kitchen floor, because her Daddy took a phone call instead of watching her for the THREE MINUTES I was in the bathroom. Sigh.
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May 25th, 2011 on 9:46 am
My daughter will pull out food at random times….cookies, crackers, sandwich pieces..and this is hours after she’s eaten these items..My husband and I are convinced she has a secret stash some place in the house or uses her diaper as a lunch pale.
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May 25th, 2011 on 9:49 am
This is completely off topic, but I love the Kirkland soy milk in the corner. That product alone makes a Coscto membership worth it!
T1′s eyes are dripping with mischief. That’s pretty darn adorable to me, but I don’t have to clean up after him!
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May 25th, 2011 on 9:54 am
No kids yet, but our niece was caught digging around in the night stand, chomping down on condoms (they were still in the packages). She was also in the bathroom one time snacking on cat food. She’s a little goat!
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May 25th, 2011 on 10:06 am
Don’t have any kids, but I did have a mischievous kitten that took a big bite out of my only strapless bra (I still haven’t replaced it!), so that was fun. She used to like hiding in my underwear drawer as she could access it from underneath so all my underwear had cat hair on it. And she found the adult private-time drawer too. Perhaps kids and pets are just drawn to these things!
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May 25th, 2011 on 10:18 am
I think our worst disaster was a whole tube of desitin all over my child and my brand new couch…the things that happen while mommy goes potty, UGH!
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Jenna Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 12:13 pm
What is it with the diaper cream? T1 is obsessed and we have several missing bottles.
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May 25th, 2011 on 10:49 am
That must be so frustrating, but man does it make for some funny stories!! (That he found your private stash and left things lying around for the missionaries to see is so hilariously awful!)
Good thing T1 is such a cutie. It must help make up for the times when he’s a little stinker!
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May 25th, 2011 on 10:51 am
Oh - I don’t have kids but I thought of a funny mischievous child story!
When my cousin was four or five, he came to our house to visit. And he kept coming to meals saying he’d washed his hands, even though he was far too small to reach the sink. Sure enough, his hands were all wet.
We found out he’d watched my mom fill a teakettle at our water cooler, and he thought it was a child-sized “sink.” So he’d been washing his hands under the little spigot!
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Jenna Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 12:12 pm
I thought you were going to say he was washing his hands in the toilet. Much better!
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May 25th, 2011 on 11:06 am
It cracks me up that he pulled out your intimate drawer for the missionaries! Kids have amazing timing. Obviously no kids here, but the pets can make me want to pull out my hair somedays. There was one time I came home to find my cat Holly in the trash can, because I had thrown out a can of her food in there. Also, I was cleaning the apartment before R’s dad came over the other day, and I put all of Sunday’s toys in her basket only to find that she pulled them out again each time.
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Jenna Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 12:11 pm
That’s what it’s like cleaning up after a baby. Putting toys back in the toy bin only reawakens his interest in them and so he pulls them right back out again!
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May 25th, 2011 on 11:22 am
So so funny!
I’m taking notes from all of you for when we have kids!
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May 25th, 2011 on 11:29 am
I LOVE that the private-time things were left out for the missionaries! Could there be a worse audience for them?!
My baby’s only 4 months so no real trouble yet.
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May 25th, 2011 on 11:30 am
Ahhh! My 20 month old son likes to draw on the walls, DUMP mommy’s water bottle out all over the floor, play with mommy’s make-up, unroll all the toliet paper and get into any cabinet that isn’t child proofed! It’s exhausting!
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May 25th, 2011 on 11:47 am
Lately my 14-mo old has learned how to close doors… thus shutting herself in the bathroom to play with the toilet bowl and/or pull stuff out of the drawers.
The worst part is I typically just dry her hands off if they’ve been in the toilet bowl! (Tsk, tsk.)
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May 25th, 2011 on 11:47 am
Ha ha ha I think our kids are really close to the same age (3-26-10 for mine!) Yep, my Babe’s into *everything* too. I’ve shut almost all the doors in the house to keep him contained to just the kitchen, dining room, living room, and hallways b/c if I take my eyes off him for a minute - he’s into something. I can’t believe T1 got into your private drawers and left stuff out! My Babe yanks on my clothes, gets my perfume and rolls it down the hallway, gets folded laundry off the bed (somehow?) and drags in down the hallway…
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May 25th, 2011 on 11:52 am
My 19 month old LOVES to go into the bathroom and make “stew” with dried cat food and the cat’s water dish. The fact that a large amount of dried cat food disappeared leads me to believe she’s also been sampling the “tasty” bits, too. She has also learned to open the container that our dog food is in - our dog is endlessly delighted when Molly does this as Molly will sit and feed Bella for as long as it takes us to catch her!
My older daughter, when she was about this same age, LOVED to take the water bottle off my bedside table and would go hide with it. She is also known for taking lipstick and “borrowing” it.
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Jenna Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 12:10 pm
T1 lost my lipgloss while we were out and about yesterday. That’s the last time I’ll be letting him play with anything that’s important to me!
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Katy Reply:
May 26th, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Then Kyle got my long-lasting lipstick all over him! I had nothing to take it off with, so I had to “gently” scurb his face - he hated it and now I’m super vigiliant about keeping it from him!
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May 25th, 2011 on 12:02 pm
My little sister and my cousin smeared an entire tub of country crock margarine all over the kitchen- cupboards, walls, anything they could reach. It was awful, hahaha.
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May 25th, 2011 on 12:04 pm
My “kid” (aka my 17 pound Jack Russel Terrier) Nilla likes to roll in the fresh laundry when I pile it on the bed (it takes me several hours before I get around to folding it).
She recently came trotting out of the bedroom after an unapproved roll-fest with one of my bras wrapped around her belly, cups dragging on the floor.
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Jenna Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Hilarious visual!
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May 25th, 2011 on 12:30 pm
You stories made my dad. I almost feel sorry for the missionaries!
No kids, no pets, but my SIL has two cocker spaniels. The very first time we visited them (and that I met them), we were told to keep our door shut or things off the floor because they get into things. I don’t have dogs so I didn’t think much about it but tried to be careful.
In the middle of the day we see Kona playing with a piece of cloth. My husband looks and turned to me: “I think this is your thong”. How embarrassing.
The same Kona ate my leather wallet that my parents gave me when I was 14. I’m still mad at her for that. She also chewed the leather gloves my husband had just given to his brother-in-law.
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May 25th, 2011 on 2:39 pm
Every time I try to clean up after Derby by putting all of her toys away, she pulls them all right back out and sprinkles them around the living room. She doesn’t even play with the darn things!! Sigh…
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Courtney Reply:
May 26th, 2011 at 9:06 am
It’s her way of decorating.
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May 25th, 2011 on 3:00 pm
OH MY. All of these and getting in the back closet to rifle through the Christmas decorations, pulling all of her clothes out of the drawers in her room, finding a box of tampons under my bathroom sink and then gnawing on them like a bear, stealing things from my pocketbook (that she snatches off the dining room table when I’m not looking). They are BUSY!
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Tiffany Reply:
May 25th, 2011 at 4:16 pm
oh yes my kids LOVE the tampons. My 19 month old little boy will come toddling out of the bathroom with one in his mouth and one in each hand. The wallet is a favorite too!! and my 4 year old LOVES to empty her entire dresser…drives me CRAZY!
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May 25th, 2011 on 4:24 pm
Oh, the stories I have of our kids… those toddlers are something else, aren’t they?
And I remember my teacher in high school telling us a story about her friend’s little brother (back in the day when they were little). Her mom was having some sort of gathering, like bridge club or something, and the kids would just play while their moms sat at the table. I guess he was the only boy and younger than all the other kids so he decided he’d rather be with the moms at the table. Well, the moms were all smoking so he decided to find his own cigarette and went digging in some purses… he came back up pretending to smoke, using one ladies tampon. Yup, kind of embarrassing in a time you didn’t talk about that sort of stuff in public:)
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May 25th, 2011 on 5:54 pm
Oh the toilet paper… that is my guy’s new obsession. He will unroll the entire thing!
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May 25th, 2011 on 6:29 pm
this post is so funny, jenna! when my mom and I would realize the house is quiet, my brother almost always was in her make-up. he’s all boy now… which makes it even funnier
p.s. can I send you an e-mail about something? I looked all over the site and couldn’t find anything. thank you!!
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May 25th, 2011 on 6:29 pm
I don’t twitter, but I just happened to spot your feed here on the page and saw this:
“I’m a bit sad about the high number of Mormon BL contestants because if they followed the Word of Wisdom they wouldn’t be there.”
I’m sorry, I hope this doesn’t come off as rude, but doesn’t that seem a little insensitive coming from a member (upstanding WOW follower, I assume) who herself has struggled with weight? You yourself know that it’s not always easy to stay at a healthy weight, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t following the Word of Wisdom… Just thought I might point out that it isn’t our place to judge, especially when we have been in the same shoes. And I know I certainly have- I gained more weight than I should have during pregnancy, and even just in the first few months of being married- but not because I wasn’t being a good Church member!
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Tiffany Reply:
May 26th, 2011 at 1:31 am
totally agree. Being over weight isn’t completely 100% about diet. I too am/was overweight…but that doesn’t mean I am not following the word of wisdom and doesn’t keep me from the temple.
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May 25th, 2011 on 10:18 pm
I read this at work and died, AMAZING!
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May 25th, 2011 on 11:33 pm
Maddie has gotten quite sneaky. There is a good-sized space behind our sofa that she loves to hide behind when she is getting into things she shouldn’t. The other day I caught her with a jar of peanut butter, luckily just before she unscrewed the lid! A blog post with more stories to come!
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May 26th, 2011 on 12:24 am
Dying of laughter picturing “adult things” scattered all over and the missionaries seeing them. Amazing. That will be the story that you tell him when he’s a newlywed, haha. Or before!
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May 26th, 2011 on 5:06 am
note to future self: babyproof the lingerie drawer!
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May 26th, 2011 on 7:40 am
Sticking maxi pads all over the backyard fence in view of the neighbors !
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May 26th, 2011 on 8:27 am
Okay, this made me laugh so hard! I thought it was supposed to be the “terrible 2′s” not the “terrible 1′s!”
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Tiffany Reply:
May 26th, 2011 at 11:14 am
wwhat they don’t tell you is that it starts when they are one and just gets worse until the terrible two’s and then they really wam you when they turn 3. i think 3 yrs. is even naughtier then 2 yrs. look what you all have to look forward too!
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June 7th, 2011 on 11:16 pm
My 20 month old son had been playing with the contents of dad’s file cabinet while I was getting ready for work. It became very quiet, and so I went to check on him. He had discovered a wayward pushpin and was trying to pop his Rody inflatable hopping horse with it! To my great relief, he hadn’t managed to stab himself or the horse.
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