I made it to Washington! Photo from my Tumblr site.
I’ve had a few Formspring questions asking about eating while traveling/living away from home.
Please! Update us on how’re your weight loss/exercise/eating is going now that you’re with your family and out of your own controlled environment.
and
Hey Jenna! i was just wondering if you had any type of game plan for eating when you’re with your family. I know the food you eat is very important and you’re also trying to lose weight. What’s your strategy w/out the junk food locked up and TH not there?
I wish I could tell you that things have been all hunky-dory, but I’ve really been struggling. I was in Salt Lake at my sister’s house for about a week, and she eats VERY differently than I do. No matter how close you are to someone, I think it’s awkward to say “I don’t like your food and I want to eat something different.” I did run two times that week, but I also ate dessert (mostly fro-yo) just about every day. Later in the week my parents came and we stated eating out for every. single. meal. It was miserable! We spent Sunday and Monday driving from Salt Lake City to Washington, spending Sunday night at a hotel in Ontario so my dad could conduct some business the next morning (he has an office in Ontario, OR as well as Othello, WA).
Tuesday morning I was finally back to making my own food! We went grocery shopping at Fred Meyer on Monday night before we made it home, and though I grumbled about the lack of local/seasonal offerings, I was happy to pick up some kale and lettuce and get back into a semblance of a routine again.
Or so I thought!
Tuesday I unpacked, Wednesday I was away from home the entire day photographing a bridal session with my mom (we ate at PF Changs), Thursday was a fancy farm tour (we ate at Casa Mexicana and then had a rather delightful 90% local dinner made with heirloom wheat and other lovely items), Friday I second shot a wedding with my mom (lunch and dinner were provided at the wedding), Saturday was spent with both sets of grandparents. Saturday was a tough day for me food-wise, I thought we’d be eating at a restaurant but we ended up having a picnic of sorts with potato chips, Keebler cookies, and oreos. I reminded myself that I don’t believe in eating those things and instead ate the sugar snap peas and peppers with dib and a side of homemade cake. Things took a downhill turn when I went to the other grandma’s house and she had a bowl of homegrown strawberries out (a great snack on its own!) that I combined with white cake and hydrogenated fat/corn syrup laden ice cream. Not good, but I can only take so much resisting before I break down! I think I would have passed up the ice cream if I had read the label before digging in, a mistake I won’t be making again.
Read those labels!
Today, and from now on, life won’t be so crazy. I’m still living in a bit of a hostile environment though, at least when it comes to my standards for myself diet-wise. As you know, I advocate throwing out everything you don’t want to be eating, but that isn’t an option at my parent’s house. They really, really dislike the idea of locking things up the way TH did (I think it makes them feel like I’m judging them) and they keep a steady supply of corn chips, vegetable chips, dark chocolate, and other convenience foods like frozen burritos on hand*. They also eat largely gluten-free and dairy-free, which means a lot of soy/vegetable-oil based products. My dad is growing organic sugar snap peas and potatoes, and both are just coming in so I have an unlimited fresh supply of those, but otherwise localganic vegetables are difficult to come by (ironic, isn’t it?). I have a possible source about 20 miles away but I don’t have my own transportation yet so I haven’t been able to go out and see what this farm has to offer. July should be better because more fruits and vegetables start coming in.
This morning I had a bit of a breakthrough. I was organizing my childhood bookshelf and I noticed the book Overcoming Overeating, and spent a few minutes flipping through it. I remembered the principle of legalizing everything, and I realized that I have the wrong attitude about the food at my parent’s house. The things surrounding me are things that I like, things I grew up on, highly palatable, and easy to prepare. Mentally, I find myself thinking “I can snack on this, because this is the only time I can snack on this, it won’t be around when I’m in Chicago”, and that is the wrong attitude. I have the money and the means to purchase these things any time I want and so it’s time for me to stop thinking that I must eat them now because I can’t get them later. I can always have them. I am choosing not to because they either aren’t good for me ever (processed foods), or aren’t good for me right now with my current weight loss goals (dark chocolate).
That Husband will join me in a week, and it will be helpful to have my second half here to remind me of my long-term goals on a daily basis. I went for a nice long run this morning (almost 3 miles with no knee pain, hurrah!) and it’s really helpful to start off my day with exercise because I’m less likely to indulge throughout the day when I have that nice post-exercise glow about me. For the next week at least, I’m going to resurrect regular posting on my food blog. Hopefully that will be the accountability I need to break through the 155lb rut I’m stuck in. My mom and I are going to the Nordstrom pre-sale on the 8th of July and my goal is to be below 150 pounds by then.
The best thing I can do right now, is stop running around like crazy and eating out, and cooking dinner for the whole group so I can be in control of what I eat. Of course if they want meat with dinner, they have to take care of that on their own. 
*Overall they have a relatively healthy diet, they just have different views on what foods/ingredients should be avoided.
June 20th, 2011 on 3:13 pm
It’s definitely hard resisting food, when you’re away from your routing My older sister is coming next month and I’m already dread the thought of eating out. Don’t get me wrong, I love eating at good restaurant! But the bloat and sluggishness that comes afterward…I totally understand not being able to resists completely. You’re with family and not everyone follows the eating habit. Thankfully, I will be able to moderate my eating plans, when the family comes a bit. Keeping my fingers crossed at least.
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June 20th, 2011 on 3:29 pm
Good luck with this! I know it can be really hard/frustrating to be out of your comfort zone. It’s so much easier when you are in total control of your food! We struggle with a similar problem. I don’t feel like my husband and I eat that unusually (though I know it’s different from my family) and it’s a shock every time we spend time with them. Fortunately (though at times it’s unfortunate as everyone makes a big fuss) my husband’s dietary restrictions are more along the lines of allergies. He’s basically a pescatarian with limited dairy intake. My family is still learning how to make meals that keep everyone happy.
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June 20th, 2011 on 3:52 pm
I completely understand. My parents love to fill up the cupboards and fridge with all the foods I love the most when I visit… And it’s just terrible. Hard to resist, both because I LOVE those foods… And because they went out of their way to get these “treats” for me. Plus, you’re so right that it’s nearly impossible to say to someone, “I don’t eat like that.” Super hard.
Anyway, I’m sorry you’re struggling. Just wanted to say that it’s happened to me and it’s very hard to prevent. I love that you are going to do lots of cooking to help keep food in your realm of control. That’s excellent.
Hang in there - I have no doubt that you can reach your goal of 150 and stay healthy and fit while you’re there.
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June 20th, 2011 on 5:37 pm
I hear you sister! I love the way you reframed the “forbidden” food into foods you can choose to have if you want to. Instead of viewing your food intake as out of your control, maybe instead you can think about how this is good practice for future times when you don’t have complete control of your food?
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June 20th, 2011 on 6:42 pm
Kind of seems that you just jumped into your summer trip without thinking about a food plan? Is that incorrect? If you did think of a food plan (ie. “When we eat out, I’ll only eat half the portion”…”I need to have my mom go grocery shopping before I get there..” .things like that) what was it? If you didn’t, do you wish you would have thought about how you were going to handle all the eating out and difference in food at your family’s?
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Jenna Reply:
June 20th, 2011 at 7:21 pm
No I talked this over with my parents many times. They just don’t agree with me on a lot of things. The time with my sister was very last minute (I changed my ticket less than a week before I left) so there wasn’t much that could be done there. It would be nice if my parents would just recognize the things that aren’t good for them and eliminate them, but they aren’t interested in it.
My parents are having a hard time with the vegetarian thing, but it just means I eat extra of the sides that they have available at dinner, like potatoes and rice and salad and such. When eating out they aren’t really fast food people, which is nice, and they now know I won’t eat any meat or fish. It is hard for them when we go out and eat family style, I can tell they don’t really love that I order a vegetarian dish that they aren’t interested in eating (like when we went out and I ordered a tofu curry) but I personally think they are just being stubborn (and a bit heartless, but that’s another post).
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Meg Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 9:09 am
I can definitely understand that.
My husband was vegetarian for a long time and even though I talked with my mom about his diet before we’d come and visit she wouldn’t have anything in the house for him! It was extremely frustrating and she would tell him almost daily “Well, have some cereal” and he’d say, “I don’t drink milk” and she’d look like someone just stomped on her way of living..It was really insensitive.
She’s better now, but not really. It’s always a struggle to get her on the same page, especially since we don’t feed our daughter crap and that’s all she wants to give her. You’d think parents would be willing to comply with a healthy way of living for their children and grandchildren.
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Cécy Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 11:05 am
It makes me think of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. “Have some meat”. “I’m vegetarian, I don’t eat meat”. “Well have some lamb then”.
Most people are not really familiar with what a certain diet allows or not. It can be frustrating but it’s a chance to share something new with them.
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Ellie Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 12:16 pm
I find it really frustrating to share family style with people who aren’t vegetarians - they always want to take my food, but I can’t have any of theirs! (And then we split the check evenly even though my meal cost way less? No thanks!) My husband usually orders a seafood dish, because I eat that, if we’re out eating family style.
The good news is, it gets easier over time. Right now, it’s difficult, but eventually your parents will adjust (I’m 10 years into being a vegetarian and my dad has finally started to not just feed me pasta). I think the biggest trick is to not tell them how bad their food is for them, and simply try to lead by example. Once I started eating vegetarian, my total-carnivore sister started eating the delicious foods I cooked, and now she and I have a CSA share and she observes meatless Mondays and happily eats vegetarian foods. It takes time, and you just wrote a whole post about how it took you awhile to shift into actually eating real foods - I wouldn’t expect any more from your parents. It hasn’t clicked for them yet.
Can you cook up a big batch of something like quinoa salad with tons of fresh veggies in it, and then serve that with meals as a side? Or a bean salad dish?
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June 21st, 2011 on 6:20 am
Hi Jenna,
I have a lot of thoughts on this because I went through a huge weight loss that took about 8 months I went from 165 to 125 (and then down to an unhealthy 108, but let’s not talk about that because i’m back up to 125 and healthy now). I did weight watchers and ate a lot of processed crap and sugar free this/sugar free that. I became so afraid of REAL foods that I started to limit my social life and never went out to eat with my friends, etc because I was so afraid of gaining weight. I also was so stuck in my own ways and I refused to eat other peoples foods. I ate the same things over and over and over again because it worked for me.
I finally have become free of this way of eating, and I now live life and enjoy all sorts of foods (mostly in moderation) but I can attest to how hard it cane be to be around family. My family was always trying to break me of my habits (even though i now realize they were looking out for me).
I admire your HEALTHY way of eating and life. You have a healthy outlook to weight loss and I love how you eat when your hungry. I ate like CLOCKWORK when I did weight watchers (i’m not saying weight watchers is bad, I loooooved it!) but it just was reallly hard for me to enjoy life while on it.
I think it’s important to realize that life is life, and you need to enjoy it. If you REALLY want a piece of cake, go for it, just don’t over do it and eat healthy the next meal. Your time with your family is temporary and you have the rest of your life to be healthy. I’m in no way saying to sabotage your diet, but I also think it’s so important to not deprive yourself of anything you might really want!
That’s all, sorry for my essay!
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Jenna Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 9:55 am
Thanks for sharing your story Kristine. I do think I am able to be present and experiencing whatever we are doing without eating whatever they are eating, but I will keep your advice in mind.
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Kristine Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Of course! I love the topic of weight loss because it’s something that has literally changed my life in every way. I love helping others that struggle with weight too. I think it’s so important for you to realize how far you have come and how amazing you look too! Don’t beat yourself up!
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June 21st, 2011 on 7:47 am
I can see how this is a struggle for you, but mostly I’m sympathetic to your family here. You have made tremendous and commendable changes in your life in a relatively short period of time. You are also very young and as a result probably more open to new ideas, more flexible and willing to try new paths/trends/ideas. Your parents are understandingly more resistant- probably because over the course of their lifetime they’ve tried different ways of doing things and have found something that works for them- whether because they think or know it’s healthiest for them or because they simply enjoy this kind of food. I obviously don’t have a window into the way they’re responding to your new diet and I have no idea how supportive/unsupportive they are being, but I do know that you’re in their house for the time being and that food is about a lot more than health and taste- in almost every culture it’s a means of celebration, a way of connecting and communicating with other members of society/family,and a chance to be thankful for health and bounty. I know that you are making HUGE strides with your diet and longterm lifestyle, and I don’t mean to diminish that at all- only to say try not to guilt your parents in their own home about their choices. make suggestions sure. cooking for them really sounds like a lovely idea- but also remember sitting down to share a meal with family is a huge blessing and sacrificing a little of yourself for them at mealtime when you know (especially now that you have T1) all that they sacrificed for you over past meal times is not a bad thing either.
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Meg Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 9:16 am
I don’t know if I necessarily agree with this entire outlook.
Obviously Jenna talks about how she’s struggled with her weight for a very long time (to the point where her mom even suggested that she needed to lose weight in college) and knowing that, to me, it should prompt people who are hosting a guest to re-think their way of living for a little.
If I am hosting someone who doesn’t eat meat, why would I serve every meal with a focus on meat with very little alternative? I wouldn’t.
If someone is hosting a person who they know is struggling with an issue (in this case food) wouldn’t they be open to adjusting themselves for the betterment of that person? I certainly wouldn’t drink like a fish if I was hosting someone who I knew had issues with alcohol..nor would I bake cupcakes and make fattening foods for a person who is staying with me when I know they are struggling with weight.
I believe when someone is opening their home to someone, they need to consider their guests life style and be inconvenienced for a short period of time.
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Turtle Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 9:44 am
I would agree with this attitude if it were one meal or simply a weekend visit. I think hospitality and generosity are two of the most beautiful virtues, and I love welcoming people into my home and part of that is certainly making them feel comfortable re: food and drink choices. However, Jenna is living with her parents for weeks, and I think this extends beyond the boundaries of that kind of special consideration one might have for guests. In other words, I think an extended visit of this kind requires not just being a good host but being a good guest-they need to be able to go on living their normal lives and so does she. I think this requires give and take on both sides. Recently we had a friend staying with us when she had a conference in our area. She’s Jewish (not Kosher but observes certain traditions) and it was passover when she visited. On her first nights in town, we made dinner for her- and we were sure not to have any leavened items. But for the rest of the week, my husband and I continued to eat bread and cereal and the things we ate. I had matzo and kosher for passover grocery items in the house, but not everything at every meal was ok for her to eat. I think (although I obviously am only telling one side of the story) that it worked out well. She refrained from eating the things that were not acceptable to her diet and never made us feel uncomfortable about them being there, and we tried to be understanding of her needs without completely altering our lifestyle.
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Jenna Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 10:01 am
I do think that religious obersvations are different than junk food though. I think this is what i struggle with the most, that I think there are areas where they could improve and actually live longer and healthier lives (and actually in regards to meat I’ve come to believe it’s part of our religion to abstain as well).
And it matters so much because I would like to have my children visit them if they would like, but I’m not interested in sending my young children into an environment where they are going to be fed a diet that I don’t agree with. I think diet is *that* important.
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Turtle Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 11:04 am
I certainly don’t want to argue with you. I don’t have children and I have never dieted (not because I’m super skinny- I’ve just been one consistent weight for my adult life), so I recognize that your experiences make this subject something completely different. I just want to share one more small thing that my mother- mother of 5, and grandmother of 14- always says- “grandparents (meaning the kind of grandparents who are simply visited and not those who have to raise their grandchildren) have almost zero impact on children. They might indulge them occasionally or break their routine temporarily, but long term, their lives and choices are shaped by their parents and their response to them.” I have no idea how true this is and I know that in the short term when you’re working so hard to raise your kids you don’t want anyone especially the people you love most to undermine you (like I said I don’t have kids), but I do think it lends perspective to the kind of often reasonable concerns parents have in regards to the impact that grandparents can have.
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Sage Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 11:11 am
If diet is that important to you that you won’t send your kids to see their grandparents, perhaps you should use the techniques you talked about in guiding your household to better eating. Your parents shouldn’t be expected to accept your eating philosophies and adjust their lifestyles right away just because you or your children are visiting for the summer.
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Sage Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Also, I think you are the only on this blog who doubts your ability to do this. You have shown so much self discipline and will power through your whole weight loss journey and have been an inspiration to so many. You will be fine. It may be difficult for you, but you’ll do just fine and at the end you’ll wonder why you doubted yourself.
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Jenna Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Sage you are so kind. Thank you for your vote of confidence!
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June 21st, 2011 on 8:23 am
I would suggest that you work with what you have and accept that the foods at your parents house is what you have, for this very short period of time. Eat the foods you want to. Go buy the foods that you feel you are missing, and don’t eat the stuff like fro-yo. You can’t be mad at them for having foods in their house that you don’t want to eat. That’s unreasonable. You can go grocery shopping for yourself, im sure your parents are not using their cars 24 or even 16 hours a day. You can survive with normal grocery store vegetables if the farmers market is too far away.
You really need to stop blaming your parents. They love you, they are hosting you and your toddler son for an extended period of time. Don’t expect them to rreinvent their ddiet too.
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June 21st, 2011 on 8:40 am
Perhaps you should consider that you are a guest in your parents home. I understand (and I’m sure they do as well) that you have different ideas about food and what you prefer to each, but you parents shouldn’t be expected to bend to your lifestyle just because you are visiting for an extended period of time. Just as you wouldn’t adjust what you eat if they came to stay with you as well, they shouldn’t be expected to change how they eat or what food they have in the house for you. You mentioned you eat more of the side dishes at dinner, perhaps you could ask if you could prepare your own meals or a few side dishes per meal so you have more you’d like to eat. Again, I don’t think they should have to cater to your wants just because you are visiting.
You may think your way of eating is better for them (and I do as well), but they don’t want to eat like you and you can’t force them to. Perhaps you should use the tactics you talked about in your previous post about guiding your household to better eating. You said it took time with TH, I’m sure it would with your parents as well.
Part of maintaining a slim figure and healthy lifestyle is being able to do so when you’re not in control. Will power is a difficult thing and I believe you have much more than you give yourself credit for. I know the temptation to eat crap food is there and it’s difficult for you, but you can do it and you’ll be much stronger for it. I mean this out of sincere concern, but I think locking up “bad” food is unhealthy mentally and emotionally. I’m no psychologist, but I think it fosters more of a fear of the food than controlled restraint and could lead to more binge eating of those foods in the situation you find yourself in now, where they are readily available. You are more than strong enough to resist on your own, without a physical barrier to stop you. As I said before, this time will make you stronger and you may find yourself with more self restraint and better eating habits after.
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Sophia Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 1:47 pm
I really agree with this in general- “Part of maintaining a slim figure and healthy lifestyle is being able to do so when you’re not in control.”
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Jenna Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 2:02 pm
I agree. But I’m not maintaining, I’m losing. Completely different situation.
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Sophia Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 2:15 pm
I guess to clarify, I mean that I’m agreeing with the part about maintaining a healthy lifestyle even when you’re not in control. Of course it’s harder to lose than to maintain, but even if you were maintaining you would still be in this same situation of being out of your area of control and needing to make choices that jive with your ethics.
I don’t at all mean to imply that such a thing is easy. It’s very hard, and I agree, even harder when you are trying to lose!
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Sage Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I understand that you’re still actively losing weight. You were trying to lose what, 60 lbs? That’s months, if not over a year of weight loss. Did you expect to stay in your apartment in Chicago through all those months and 60lbs of weight loss? There’s no way you’ll be in your home environment, totally in control the whole time. I know it’s hard, and I’m not trying to say it should be easy for you and that you haven’t done a great job already. However, if you really want to be healthy and slim for the remainder of your life, eventually you’ll have to adjust to your surroundings and adapt your life to always be healthy and slim, regardless of where you are.
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June 21st, 2011 on 8:46 am
I’m sorry your parents aren’t being as supportive of your new life style as you hoped they would be. But, you need to give up on the local organic menu for now. Grocery store fruit and veggies still have the same nutritional properties. Stick with those and you will be fine.
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June 21st, 2011 on 10:12 am
As someone who eats gluten-free I feel like my food options are highly limited. I had been vegetarian for 10 years prior to eating gluten-free. Once I realized how limiting a gluten-free vegetarian diet was, I made a conscious decision to re-introduce meat to my diet. Like many people on gluten-free diets, I become sick if I eat anything with with wheat or gluten. I assume that your parents chose their diet based on health reasons, not because they read a few books. Perhaps you should consider this when you think your parents are being stubborn and heartless.
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Jenna Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 10:36 am
I have no issues with the things they choose due to their sensitivities and their allergies, life was rather painful for them before they figured it out.
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June 21st, 2011 on 10:56 am
Wow! This discussion is getting good!
Jenna I have loved seeing your progress and I say “way to go” You have to do what you have to do, everybody has their vice..a friend of mine CANNOT go shopping by herself. She can only go with a friend (me) or her husband etc. She knows this is her weakness and chooses to rely on people that love her to help defend her (and I say defend because I think all “bad” temptations are satan knowing your weekness and using that to get to you) so I totally get ‘locking up’ the food thing.
I do want to offer up a discussion point on grandparents and food. I struggle with my children being fed junk when they are at my parents house too. I sometimes pack things that are healthier, sometimes I don’t. I remember going to my grandma’s house and having dreamsicles… that is a wonderful memory I have (created around food I know) but it is a special thing we have between us. I would hate to rob my children of special times with their grandparents. I’m at a place now where I just try to feed them really healthy things before they go there and when they get home, to makeup for the junk they get there.
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Ellie Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 12:40 pm
My grandparents and I used to sit around playing cards, eating gingersnaps, and drinking milk. It’s such a wonderful memory for me, and I don’t buy gingersnaps as an adult, but when I pass them in the store, I still smile and remember my grandpa going into the pantry to get them for us. My parents didn’t feed us cookies as kids, so I honestly don’t know if they will feed my children cookies. I also don’t care enough about diet to try to use being able to spend time with my children as a reward/punishment for eating a certain way, but I am using it to get my parents to stop hoarding and clean out their house, in a, “if this house continues to be a death trap of piled papers, boxes, and electronics, I don’t know how you can expect me to let my kids come over” kind of way, which just means my parents will have come to me. But we live near each other, which eliminates a lot of these concerns, because it’s not an extended period of time being spent with the grandparents.
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Jenna Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 1:01 pm
I do think we are starting to see a shift in the attitude of each generation though. My grandma provided gummy bears and such for me because they were a treat AND because she didn’t know any better. She grew up on butter and whole foods and basically everything that I want to be eating, and then she was told that all of that was bad and science could feed her better than nature ever could. There was no Internet, no ability to do research on any given topic, and so she fed me based on what the culture in general was doing.
Sugar and treats were generally indulged in less frequently than today due to lack of funds and availability. Now though, that isn’t the case. Elementary schools have (had) vendng machines in them!
Now we know better, and we are seeing rates of obesity, cancer, heart disease, and other western afflictions skyrocket. What we eat MATTERS. What we choose every single day makes a difference, not ony for the environment and world around us, but for our own health.
I have my own fond memories of foods shared with my grandparents, using real butter and drinking whole milk at one grandparent’s house, and drinking grandpa’s milkshakes and gummy bears at the other. But the memories are fond because they ewre shared with a loved one, because time and attention was sent my way. My kids can have those warm memories revolving around activities or fresh picked strawberries or apple pie baked from scratch in the fall. Processed and junk foods do not need to be present to foster happiness,
(And note this comment is meant to be a contribution to the general thread, not just directed at you)
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June 21st, 2011 on 11:30 am
Wow! So many strong opinions! With each one I read, I think, “Oh yeah! I agree!” Then I read the next one …
I know you’re not asking your parents to throw it all away and completely change their diet to accommodate yours while you are there. And I can understand your frustration with it seeming like they’re not willing to do anything to help you out. I do think it might be worthwhile to sit down with at least your mom (assuming she does the majority of the grocery shopping and meal planning) and work some things out with her. Voice your concerns and express once again how important it is for you to live how you do. Work with her to plan out some shopping trips for you to buy what you want/need. Also, plan out the meals (perhaps a week at a time?) so they get what they like and need, but you also don’t feel like you’re blowing everything you’ve been working toward.
Though I don’t necessarily agree with your views on food or chose to live the same way, I completely admire you for being so passionate about it and sticking to your guns! Hang in there, be open and honest with your parents, and don’t beat yourself up if you do slip. That’s been the biggest help for me … if I don’t eat how I want one day, or hit the snooze button instead of getting up to run, I don’t let myself feel like all is lost and I’m a failure, I just do better the next day!
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June 21st, 2011 on 12:33 pm
I think it’s a tough issue, and I think everyone has brought up really good points. I also commend you for sticking to your guns, but don’t forget how new those “guns” are even in your own arsenal.
Some of the more radical changes you’ve made (locking up cheese, eradicating all meat from your diet) have been fairly recent. Think of the changes in your own thought processes over the last six months, the last year, the last two years. Then think about the possibility of your thought processes changing again over the next six months, year, or two years. Allow yourself the flexibility to change and adapt as you learn more. You may or may not change your mind in the future about cheese, meat, Sunchips, who knows? Nutrition, agriculture, food politics are constantly changing, and so are we. Allow yourself that.
The other thing is that your parents have known you your entire life. For you to be switching things up now in a pretty big way is going to take some adjustment. Food is important. What we choose to eat or not eat is important. Think about how they’d react if you made some other highly political/personal decision that didn’t mesh with their beliefs. Why is this different?
And lastly…I hold extremely different viewpoints from my family members on the value and purpose of food. But when we come together for holidays and special events, I withhold my judgment and my tongue. For me, family trumps food. Every time. I know that my relationship with food is constantly in flux as I learn and grow and evolve. My relationship with my family is not. In the words of Lost, they are my constants
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Jenna Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Thanks Samantha! I really appreciate this comment and how you phrased everything. These changes are recent and they did take me an entire year to make fully. My parents are trying and I really appreciate that. For larger family gatherings… I’m just going to have to put on my big girl panties and start providing my own snacks (I’ve always been a “kid” so I’ve never really had to!)
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June 21st, 2011 on 1:40 pm
Good job on the running and yeah for 3 miles painfree!
Obvioussly you’re in a harder situation. I think the food blog as you did before can help you with accountability.
For the rest, definitely help in the kitchen if you can as it will give you more control. Since you’re there for several weeks, maybe you could offer to cook for x amount of days in the week following both your values and their food restrictions and see how it goes?
When I brought home my vegetarian husband my family was very understanding, but then again it was a short visit. They did very much appreciated when I cooked and got them to try different things.
But I do also agree with others that while you have good rules and all. Sometimes grandparents are just here to spoil kids a little. It will be harder for you to control when you let him go visit them on your own, just like when you left T1 at TH’s parents.
But good luck finding the right balance during your time with them.
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June 21st, 2011 on 2:12 pm
I think this paragraph is definitely what you should be focusing on-
“This morning I had a bit of a breakthrough. I was organizing my childhood bookshelf and I noticed the book Overcoming Overeating, and spent a few minutes flipping through it. I remembered the principle of legalizing everything, and I realized that I have the wrong attitude about the food at my parent’s house. The things surrounding me are things that I like, things I grew up on, highly palatable, and easy to prepare. Mentally, I find myself thinking “I can snack on this, because this is the only time I can snack on this, it won’t be around when I’m in Chicago”, and that is the wrong attitude. I have the money and the means to purchase these things any time I want and so it’s time for me to stop thinking that I must eat them now because I can’t get them later. I can always have them. I am choosing not to because they either aren’t good for me ever (processed foods), or aren’t good for me right now with my current weight loss goals (dark chocolate).”
As Sage mentioned up above, this might be a good “test”, of sorts, of your will power and resolve in the face of challenges. You’ve been laying the groundwork for the past half year, really changing what you have been eating. You had a routine, you had TH, and you had the ability to do things like lock up the cheese.
Now is where you might have to really get creative to stick to your guns. I’m lucky in that most of my friends and family are very understanding- by that I mean, they don’t cook me food, but they would never take it personally if I refused their food or ate my own. However, you can be sure that there have been times we have gone out to BBQ and I have filled up on nothing but a pretty terrible salad. I also usually bring my own food with me to my Dad’s house, or I buy it as soon as I get there. I’ve even been known to eat before we head out to dinner, so that they can go to their steak house, but I can still join them and enjoy their company without having to spend money on an over priced baked potato
Is it possible for you to borrow your parents’ car to drive to check out that farm?
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