25 Aug
18 Months (ish)
T1,
You’re actually just over 16 months as I write this, but I think it’s close enough to 18 months for you to get the general idea of what life is like with you on the planet at this age. Some days, I think time is standing still and you’re going to be a tantrum throwing toddler for the rest of my life, and then there are times when you blow me away with how rapidly you are developing and you smart you seem. Tonight I fed you some spaghetti noodles with tomato sauce on them, and you spit it out on the carpet, creating a light red stain on the flooring that will cost us $1500 to replace if we’re not careful. I was not happy, and scolded you several times while I poured water on the stain. 10 minutes later I saw you bending down, blotting out the water, smiling up at me with so much pride because you had figured out how to do it just like mommy. It is these moments, along with the rare 10 or 15 second bouts of stillness when you settle into my chest while I sing You Are My Sunshine in your ear, that I feel like my heart might burst with joy and love. It’s just not something you can understand until you have a child of your own.
Though I sometimes refer to you as “the baby”, you are most certainly no longer a baby. You’re a toddler, and you want to be everywhere experiencing as much of the world as you possibly can.
Since we went to Washington, we have to go out every single day. You’d go out every hour if I let you. The words “go” and “bye bye”, and any motions that resemble waving your arm hello/goodbye are off limits in our apartment unless you intend on leaving the apartment because as soon as you heard me say go you flap your arm like crazy to let me know you are by all means ready. I ask you to go get your shoes and you run over to the closet where they are stored, not-so-patiently waiting for me to open it up and get them out for you. You really miss grandpa and grandpa’s house, and your time spent digging in the potato fields last month.
Side Note: You have incredibly wide and tall feet (taking after me), and you’re bleeding your college fund dry at the rate we have to buy new shoes for you.
Probably our favorite personality trait is your “oooohhhhhh” face. You make it all the time, when you’re really excited, when you’re scared or worried, when you feel overwhelmed, when you want to draw our attention to something. Tonight we were on the couch doing some snuggling and when my iphone buzzed with a Twitter notification your eyes lit up and your mouth pursed. Ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhh, you told me, and I could tell you had no idea why I was laughing so hard. Speaking of laughing, every so often you break out in a laugh that mimics mine exactly. What a treat that is!
We see faces like these a lot. You point at everything to tell us what you want, and when you don’t get it you are a very unhappy boy.
Your father and I agree, you said your first word the other day: shoe. Of course, you haven’t really said it as clearly since then, but on a Sunday afternoon as we were getting you ready for a walk through the park, you very clearly said “shoe” as we put those very objects on your feet. This certainly proves to me that repetition is key because I think I’ve said “shoe, shoe, shoe, shoe” a thousand times while getting you ready to go out.
Being a mom is pretty hard for me, and I think it always will be. I wake up each morning with a big list of things to do each day, but you wake up with an entirely different list.
Mine looks a little like:
Exercise
Make breakfast
Clean kitchen
Shower
Edit
Emails
Housework
Etc.
And yours look a little like this:
Play. Preferably with mommy or daddy.
This is why you will get a sibling once mommy gets her baby weight off, because you really need a friend.
I don’t think I would go back though. I really wouldn’t. I mean, there are times when I feel like the stress of daily life, of needing to constantly be on my toes and anticipating your needs before you even think of them yourself (which I’m awful at) feels absolutely insurmountable, but because of the bitterness, the sweet times are almost more than my beating heart can bear. You are shaping into a little person, and it is such an honor to take such a big part in doing the molding. I know for a lot of people, the thought of bringing up a baby is very overwhelming. For me, it’s the though of turning you into an adult. What a huge responsibility! I’m glad for right now, I only need to worry about teaching you your ABCs. That is something I can handle.
You’re so pretty.
And I love you.
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
So sweet Jenna!
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1I most definitely need to start planning a little trip to Chicago. He’s so beautiful!
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Jenna Reply:
August 25th, 2011 at 8:47 am
Early spring next year? Come when it’s warmer, the winters here are as bad as everyone says
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Oh Jenna, this made me cry. I love your honesty about all aspects of motherhood. T1 is so lucky to have you for a mom.
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3This is one of my favorite blog posts you have ever written.
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4Very sweet post, Jenna. My babe is only 8 months but just yesterday I was thinking I have never felt so close to an actual nervous breakdown (a few times) as since I’ve been a mom. I am glad to hear that’s kind of normal. It’s normal, right? Right???
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Tiffany Reply:
August 25th, 2011 at 10:38 am
TOTALLY normal!!
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crystal Reply:
August 25th, 2011 at 1:16 pm
completely normal!
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this is so sweet. thanks for giving us a glimpse of life with a little one. my first word was “shoe” too!
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6Sweet! My little boy is almost a month old and I’m loving being his mama. I’m so excited to watch him grow!
Where are T1′s pants from? I LOVE them.
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7What a sweet post for an obviously sweet boy. I have loved following along and getting a more clear idea about what it’s actually like to be a mom-plenty of frustration mixed in with wonderful moments. It reminds me so much of this quote by Gordon B. Hinckley: “Life is just like an old time rail journey … delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
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8Just lovely! Happy 18 months(ish), T1! And those suspenders over that little belly just slay me. He is such a cute little man.
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9That outfit! He knows how to work it in front of the camera. Adorable!
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10This is such a sweet and honest letter. Will you let him read these some day? What a great gift that will be.
I also have to say that his outfit is one of the best kid clothes ensembles I’ve ever seen. I LOVE THE SUSPENDERS!
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Jenna Reply:
August 25th, 2011 at 10:53 am
Oh for sure he can read them. I hope it will help us bond as adults when he has kids of his own.
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those pants are KILLING me! where did you get them? what a cutie!
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Jenna Reply:
August 25th, 2011 at 10:52 am
A lucky find at the thrift store
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What a sweet post: so honest and yet full of love.
Also, your photos are great. I wish the ones I take of my daughter were half as nice!
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13His outfit with the brown sandals is adorable.
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14Jenna, I love that you’re such a “real” mom who talks about the good AND the bad. T1 is so stinkin’ adorable too!
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15Your honesty is comforting to those of us nervous about future mommy-hood.
As for the tomato sauce stain, I found as a kid (i spilled a lot and didn’t want mommy to be mad), that Sprite can really get stains out of carpet! I assume its the bubbles so club soda (and probably oxy-clean for that matter) should work too. Better to waste a 50 cent can of sprite than face a $1500 carpet bill!!
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16He looks so grownup in his little pants and suspenders. I can’t believe how time has flown, so I can only imagine how crazy it must be for you that he already almost a year and a half old!
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17Oh my goodness does his face look exactly like TH in that last photo! And what a cute outfit!
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18My daughter is 18 months and my mom said the other day, “Don’t you just love this age?” and I said “No.” and she looked at me like I was horrible. I think she was surprised at my honesty because honestly, this age is a bit annoying. She throws fits all the time, yells and screams (in joy and frustration) and though she’s great at following directions, communication is still hard. But like you, when she’s sweet or shows us just how much she knows and has grown my heart feels like it will burst open.
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19I have a 3 month old and can’t imagine having a toddler! I love these photos!
PS - try distilled vinegar (diluted down by 25-50%) on the carpet, let stand for a few minutes, and blot up. if it’s really bad still, a small vacuum carpet cleaner (think hand held) can really suck the stain off with the vinegar solution.
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20Oh my goodness, the outfit that T1 is wearing is absolutely precious!!!
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21I LOVE HIS OUTFIT!!! I’ve been wanting suspenders for my boys since the first one was born (almost 5 years ago) and have been unsuccessful. To me, nothing says little boy like suspenders and a bow tie.
And for my first child I bought a really cheap rug (it was a $15 dark brown Ikea rug) for under the high chair. It was great ’cause he could spill to his hearts desire (it was basically a large bath mat, the bottom was that rubber waterproof stuff) and once he was finally out of the dropping food on the floor phase I threw it out. Thankfully we are now in a house with tile floors (SO much easier to clean) so we haven’t had to worry about stains.
And I have to say, T1 is turning into such the little man. I love it!
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22Again, you make me so emotional with these posts. I love your honesty and big-picture perspective on having a child. You take the good and the bad and are so open about it - for those of us without kids it makes it so nice to know that it’s not all hearts and rainbows, but the special moments are absolutely incredibel. It actually makes me feel like I could do this too someday. Thank you.
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23Aaw too cute in those trousers! I love these little letters you’re writing to T1 x
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24Most moms find the experience of having a 2nd child to be much more work and find that there is far, far less time for themselves. Sometimes your posts describe a lot of frustration, and at times, resentment that you have to postpone what you want to do because of the needs of your son. And it is what it is. I went through a lot of infertility stuff to have kids and I remember the shock I felt when the early baby years were not AT ALL what I was expecting. While getting a 2nd cat really helps amuse the first cat, I don’t think you should expect a 2nd child to have the same effect. Even for 2-3 years, best case scenario is some parallel play. Expect a lot more squabbling and mediating and frustration and wishing you weren’t outnumbered. Have you ever considered getting some daycare/childcare for your son? I think you would enjoy your time with him more if you could count on some time alone to do your stuff.
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25Oh my goodness! If we have a boy, I definitely need to find some suspenders! Adorable. I love that we are starting to see bits and pieces of his developing personality.
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26He is so cute, and the honesty comes out, lol. My friends with kids say the same thing!
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27Such a beautiful post!
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28Jenna, I really didn’t think he could get any cuter, but then there were suspenders!
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29He is such an adorable baby.
I’m so glad you’re so candid about how life is with him-I’m one of those “holy-crap-babies-are-scary” kind of people and your honesty proves me right, but also gives me courage at the same time.
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30He is so cute. I love that outfit on him.
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31Such a sweet post. Makes me want to cry!
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32So very sweet.
And he is obviously such a cutie.
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