24 Aug
We Are Hermits
This is all the adventure he needs right now, throwing rocks in the pond in the park located adjacent to our apartment building.
You may have noticed we haven’t done a whole lot in Chicago, in terms of experiencing the nightlife or seeing the sights or eating the terrific food (we’ll get to that last one eventually, we’ve got to save save save before we can get there though). I wanted to change this, and so I set some goals when making my 101 in 1001 list that would get us out of the house and into the city. This included an architectural boat tour, a visit to Millennium park, and some museums.
In terms of opportune time to do these family trips, this past month was it. That Husband isn’t working or going to school right now, so we could do everything mid-week in the middle of the day when the crowds would be smaller. The weather is nice, T1 is older and just starting to appreciate things, and we’d create some fun family memories while taking lots of pictures and blogging about all of it.
As I sat down to research all of this, the architectural boat tour was immediately out. $25 per person? No way are we paying that much to ride around on a boat and listen to a tour guide! Especially since some of the tours I looked up don’t even have discounts for kids. That’s just not something we are interested in doing. I was bummed to realize that I wasn’t going to be able to cross that item off my 101 in 1001 list, but otherwise we weren’t too sad about it.
After that I decided we were going to do 5 outings over 2 weeks, which would be Millenium park, the zoo, two museums, and a trip to one highly rated/discussed pizza place. I was plotting maps and looking up times and costs and I realized…
I didn’t actually want to do any of this. I turned to TH and asked him what he thought.
“Well, I was really just doing this because you said it was important to you.“
And you know what? It’s not really that important to me either. I was going through all this work, and feeling stressed, (actually kind of dreading it), because I felt like everyone on the internet was telling me I was living my life wrong.
Ha!
How silly of me, and now that I’m aware of my folly, I hope to save myself some time spent stressing by not getting caught in that trap again.
I don’t have to like Chicago, and I don’t have to get out and experience it if I don’t want to. We’ve realized that we just aren’t Chicago people, and I highly doubt that devoting half a day to visiting a museum is going to change our minds. The cost of living is crazy high, I want a washer-dryer, I like the farmer’s market options/selection better in Dallas, I want a backyard for T1 to play in, and I was miserable during the winter because TH was miserable.
We like staying home and working on our projects that are meaningful and important to us. We like having friends over for dinner, and taking T1 to the park right next to our apartment, and snuggling up on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn while we watch a Harry Potter movie. That’s us.
This doesn’t mean we won’t ever do all of those things, but we’re going to let it happen organically instead of forcing it because it’s on a list. As T1 gets older, things will change and we’ll get out and do more because it will means something to him. For right now though, I’m going to keep popping those bowls of popcorn for movie night at-home with That Husband on the couch right next to me. On Wednesday and Saturday nights during the summer we’ll look out the window and watch the fireworks over Navy Pier, not because someone else said we should, but because it just feels right.
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
Live your life how you want too. Don’t let the folks on the net tell you what to do. I haven’t done all of the tourist sites in my city either and most of those that I have done, I did before I actually lived in the area. For example, I work in Washington, DC and have never been to the top of the Washington Monument. I hear the view isn’t great anyway, windows too small.
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Kayakgirl73 Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 8:37 am
Besides the view from the top of my office building is pretty incredible and I don’t have to stand in line or get tickets.
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Jenna! This is where you and I are so very different. I LOVE to explore. I have a list of things I want to do and see in Dallas because I love it. It matters to me. My very best friend (Carly) and her husband are hermits and I have never been able to understand and constantly feel like they are missing out. However I’ve learned to accept them for who they are, and if we’re doing something fun that I feel like would be more fun if we had kids (ie. the zoo, arboretum) I take her kids and give her a day off. lol It works out for everyone involved I’m telling you! Stick with what’s important to you, but just like I don’t get Carly being a hermit, I don’t get you being one either.
Alright I need to get my tush in bed! Work tonight.
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Jenna Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 1:21 pm
What’s interesting is that I love exploring when I’m on vacation - but I think the difference is that being on vacation is a time when I release myself from the responsibilities of daily life. Part of the reason we don’t get excited about budgeting all this time for
Chicago is that we come home feeling behind on all the other stuff instead of feeling refreshed.
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Jessica Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Hmm… do you think your opinion of Chicago would be different if you were just vacationing there? And would you go visit all those places? So then, if you would do it on a vacation, I’m a bit confused as to why don’t you do it now if you are already there?
I know it’s tough to leave behind the daily responsibilities . My husband and I are both teachers, meaning we both work 60-70 hours a week and the to-do list is never truly DONE.
This year we are living in a new region of the US and I’ve noticed two things: 1) We regret not exploring our home “regions” (New England & Midwest) and 2) Local-ish weekend trips or day trips are great financially and time-wise.
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good for you!!!! you need to make yourself and your family happy,no one else. besides only you and your family have to deal with being miserable, cranky, or stressed…so whatever makes your life easier and happy…go for it…even if it’s sitting at home watching Harry Potter on the couch snuggling to TH and eating popcorn.
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3This doesn’t sound to me as “I don’t like Chicago” as “I don’t like museums.”
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TJ Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 8:48 am
As much as, rather. Hopefully my meaning is clear.
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Brooke Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 10:19 am
That’s what I thought, too. (Which is almost unfathomable for me, but to each his own! And on second thought, that leaves museum-going to those who want to be there and enjoy it.)
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Jenna Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 1:24 pm
I do think the dining options in Chicago are *much* better than in Dallas
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Good for you. Seriously. People have nothing better to do a lot of times, than tell others how to live their life. I turned 28 this year, and have been in school since I was 4. I have people coming at me from all angles and agegroups telling me I need to experience life, I’ve wasted my 20s, I need to have kids, I need to travel, I need to [insert whatever I'm not doing] — RIGHT NOW, etc.
Only you know how to live your life… and your choice to refrain from doing all these activities you mentioned sounds great to me. A lot more relaxing at least!!
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Molly Lisbeth Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Amen Girl.
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We are very different! I’d treck all over the city. I did all the time when I lived in London. I’d pick a spot, put on walking shoes, and get on the tube
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6yeah I don’t say how you can say “you don’t like Chicago” when you really haven’t seen Chicago!
I guess we are just very different people. I love to explore. I would just go out and do those things. Why do you have to plan them all out and get yourself stressed out? Just go out and do the top thing on your list. And then after you have done it, if it was too expensive don’t do any of the other things!
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Erin J. Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 9:19 am
I am an explorer too. I don’t really have an agenda when I go somewhere. I just have an idea of what I want to do & I just do it.
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Andrea Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 11:25 am
I agree that you don’t have to do what other people say you should do. And I understand that sometimes we want our creature comforts so things feel more like home (washer and dryer!)
I really recommend that you consider whether or not you’ll be bummed after you leave that you didn’t do more.
Granted I don’t live there, but have visited, and explored extensively, and I know there are a lot of things you don’t have to plan or pay money for or go to specifically. I know you like to walk/jog, so maybe just switch it up and take a different route. There are all kinds of interesting art pieces around the city to stumble upon. There are hidden church gardens. Cool fountains. Unique neighborhoods. And plenty of people watching. Then when you leave, you could truly say you saw alot and did/didn’t like it.
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Let me first say, my husband and I are very much hermits. We like staying at home and cuddling and watching a movie. But I do think it’s important to go out and try new things in the context of what you enjoy. We love reading, so we scout out indie bookshops or author events. And it’s free! We like parks and museums here because they are free too.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, find places and events in your area that tap into your interests. A photography exhibit. A family cooking class. I think it’s too easy to fall into a trap of not liking the place you live because you don’t get out and see the parts of it you like. You’re not a tourist, so don’t get sucked into doing what tourists do.
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8Wait aren’t you jogging, like, multiple mile routes around the city? That does not a hermit make! : )
And dude, I totally agree on this. We live in DC and love the bar/restaurant scene… but the museum/touristy stuff… UH UH. Neighborhood pool > National Mall with 987189879 loud sweaty people. I’ve been here since 2003 and still haven’t made it to the 4th of July fireworks! Whatever!
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Kate Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 9:30 am
I’ve lived right outside DC most of my life and haven’t ever been to the fireworks. Why get involved in that when you can watch them in HD and a/c? Or better yet, have a neighborhood party and set off your own (albeit smaller) ones!
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MrsW Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Second that first line and a half. Something I’m working on in my own life is being bold to go visit that random thing I saw by the side of the road, and that feels anti-hermitish enough for me.
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This post describes me and my husband to a tee. I have always liked being at home best, and I don’t think that’s a problem- I don’t even think it’s that weird. We save a ton of money, and enjoy a lot of relaxing, peaceful, quality time together. I definitely like to get out and explore occasionally (we’re visiting Italy next month as well!), but most of the time (70-80%) I’m content cuddling on the couch. The highlight of most our weekends involves a leisurely trip to Whole Foods and cooking delicious dinners…it’s great!
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10I’m a hermit. Always have been. It runs in my family, too.
Honestly, I don’t even like having people over for dinner unless I like them enough to let them see me in my comfy clothes. This excludes about 98% of the people I know.
So, I get you. I get your disposition. And I don’t get that everyone else thinks you need to go and do things you don’t enjoy!! Seriously, you only get to have one life; you might as well spend it on the couch eating popcorn if that’s what makes you feel fulfilled!!!
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11I haven’t done a lot of those things either. I mean, the zoo, yes, because it’s is an easy walk from our apartment and so easy to see, and some of the museums because I can just take myself and not pack up a kid, so it’s easier. But I think what’s great about Chicago to me has absolutely nothing to do with the stupid architectural boat tour, the Sears Tower, pizza, or anything else. For me it’s all about the people and the character in each unique neighborhood - the way that when you’re in certain neighborhoods, it doesn’t just feel like mini New York, it feels most decidedly like Chicago.
Not everyone has to love every place. I tend to hate anyplace I go that’s suburban, and don’t even get me started on Arizona. I think that what’s important is you live your day to day life with no regrets - and I don’t see how spending time with your family would be anything else. Life’s not about living someone else’s bucket list! (Seriously, ask me what tourist spots we hit in NYC. Because there were only two - Central Park and the Met.)
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Eileen Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 10:28 am
I agree with this. I lived in Chicago for 6.5 years and just recently moved. My husband and I are the “hermit” type too, in that we love spending time together at home reading or watching tv or cooking etc. What I miss about Chicago include 1)my friends; 2) running along the lake, 3) spending afternoons reading at the beach a few blocks away, and 4) the favorite restaurants and quirky shops that were in walking distance from us or an easy jump on the el. When I catch sight of Chicago on TV, it provokes nostalgia based just on the familiar look of the tree lined streets and walk up buildings, if that makes sense.
I do clearly remember that when I first moved to Chicago I didn’t like it. It was too big and crowded and the el was frustrating to navigate - I was overwhelmed by everything. That changed with time as I made good friends, got used to my commute (45 minute ride downtown for work every day), and learned my way around so that getting from place to place was much easier. By that point I was able to discover some neighborhood gems both by my apartment and my workplace downtown. I did some of the touristy stuff when friends/family came to visit, but honestly I will never like being out among large crowds. There are very few traditional touristy things I can say I miss ~ I do miss SummerDance, the free lessons at Grant Park, which made such fun date nights.
The other thing about Chicago is that there are very different feelings to different parts of the city. I lived on the north side my entire time, but one of my friends moved to the south side when she started optometry school. She was not a big fan of the south side, reporting as you did that she didn’t feel very safe walking or taking the train. Totally different feel to the north side.
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I’m so with you on this post. When I lived in New York I spent just as much time curled up watching movies or visiting people in their homes as I did out “sight seeing” and when I did that it was usually only because people were in town visiting. At the risk of sounding cliche, what I liked about the city weren’t the touristy parts but the little places that were “out of the way” and had to be discovered on their own.
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13Sometimes we all have to be hermits, But I think you are making the best of it.
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14Personally I love exploring and doing activities, and tend to get depressed if I don’t go on at least one outing/week. But everyone’s different, and you have to do what makes you happy (I am sure lots of people would think I was crazy to haul a six-month-old all over a foreign city to go to the postal museum).
It might be Chicago too. I hated Los Angeles when I lived there, even though everyone else always says how great it is (it is great, just doesn’t suit me), and I had a lot of trouble motivating myself to do anything there since I didn’t want to leave my house and be reminded that yes, I did indeed live in LA. You might feel differently when you move back to Dallas.
However, you might want to mix it up for date night. Research shows that participating in novel activities as a couple increases romantic feelings and satisfaction with the relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to go out somewhere, though, just do something out of your ordinary routine (play a game, act out a play, or cook a meal together instead of watching a movie for instance?).
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15I suppose it’s just hard for me to understand how you can decide you don’t like Chicago when you haven’t really checked it out. I don’t mean that your opinion of Chicago isn’t valid, it’s just that if you have spent most of your time as you described- in or around your apartment- I just (personally) think it’s difficult to extrapolate that to the city at large. But, more than that, the reaction I’m having to this post is that it’s kind of strange to me that you say you are hermits, because you are so game to go exploring in Europe, and you and TH seemed to really be into it on your trips. You’ve gone lots of other places in the U.S. and seemed to enjoy exploring the city and going out to eat and going out and doing things and meeting up with Bees(I’m thinking of past East Coast trips that included wedding shoots, can’t think of the specific cities though). Anyway, this isn’t to say you’re doing Chicago wrong- I know that’s why you wrote the post, you felt like people were telling you you were doing it wrong- I guess it’s more to just say that I don’t quite understand, and I wonder if, instead of it just being “we’re hermits” you just really, really don’t like Chicago. Which I can totally understand- I would not want to live there either, for a lot of the reasons you mentioned.
This might not be correct (and please correct me if I’m wrong!) but I’ve gotten the impression you just don’t feel safe in Chicago. You’ve mentioned several different incidents, how you don’t like taking public transportation, and how it’s dangerous. Do you feel like that might be driving all of this, and squelching any city exploring desire? I would definitely want to stay home if I felt unsafe as well, so I could totally understand how having a young child and usually going places alone would factor into all of this.
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Sophia Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 9:45 am
I’m a bit loopy on pain meds for my broken foot, so I’m really not sure if any of that made sense. I’m just wondering and curious and not trying to tell you how to feel about Chicago
I, too, hate it when people tell me I’m “doing it wrong”.
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I felt similarly about Boston. When we moved there (and it was either there or Chicago), people kept telling us that we were going to love it, that it was so cultured, blah blah blah. But to us, it seemed dirty, racially segregated (and racially tense!), and snotty, plus it was expensive and the weather most of the year was awful.
It did eventually get better. And some of that was (and I’m not offering advice or saying that this would work for everyone, it was just what worked for me) getting to know the city better. The Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum is exactly where I want to spend a freezing drizzly March morning in Boston because it warms my soul. But some of the city getting better, for us, was giving ourselves permission not to love it. And if I had had the twins in Boston? Forget about it. Boston would not have been redeemable. (Though DC, where we’ve also lived and which we loved, would be great with kids, I think.)
And honestly, most of the people who kept raving about Boston had only visited in the fall or in the spring and/or were getting their information from sepia-toned cinematic paeans to Harvard. To which I will only reply that there’s a reason the titular characters leaves Boston at the end of Good Will Hunting.
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Meg Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 10:23 am
Boston doesn’t “seem” racially segregated and tense…it is! ha!
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Marissa C Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 2:18 pm
I want to live in Boston…during September & October. Then I’ll go home
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Coasting anon Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 3:31 pm
I live in Boston…I don’t see it as any more racially segregated than any other city in America. I will say, I hated living here for the first year…mostly because of the darkness…but now, 10 years after moving here, I wouldn’t give it up for the world.
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Lea Reply:
August 25th, 2011 at 9:25 am
“And honestly, most of the people who kept raving about Boston had only visited in the fall or in the spring and/or were getting their information from sepia-toned cinematic paeans to Harvard.”
LOL! Love it. I do love Boston’s historical sites, but otherwise agree with everything else you said. Not every city is for everyone!
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Do what you like!
But as someone who has done it and loved it, go to downtown Macy’s at Christmas and also check out this place:
http://www.christkindlmarket.com/en/
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Amy Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Agreed! Chicago at Christmastime is magical.
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Marissa C Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 2:19 pm
We were a little disappointed that Marshall Fields had been bought out by Macys-that is what the store used to be and what my mom grew up with. They still carried my mom’s favorite Marshall Field’s Frango Mints, though!
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My husband and I are hermits too. We like it that way. I do wonder if we’ll have couple friends when we start having kids and they go to school. But I worry about personalities clashing. We’re homebodies. We like going out sometimes but NOT ALL the time.
We live really close to L.A. but avoid driving out there. It’s crowded, a hassle, stinky and just not our style. I want to live in a small town one of these days.
Movie nights with popcorn are great. Don’t let anyone else get to you, do you. Be you. Enjoy what you like!
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19I love the fact that you are hermits! We have a 10 month old and we have become hermits too. BUT…..as a resident of Chicago I can not stress enough to you about getting out some. The winters here are terrible so we pack everything into the summers. My 10 month old loves the aquarium and museums. There is so much for him to see and touch. There is so many free things to do in this city that I think you should consider taking advantage of. You will not be living here forever so don’t let yourself have any regrets later on only because you don’t have regrets now. Plus you don’t need to fill a week with activities - that is crazy stressful. Maybe a Saturday morning after you go to the green city farmers market you can go to the zoo since you are already there? Or Millennium park has the water feature for kids to run in. That boat tour is also worth the money. I have taken it 3 times and if any guest comes into town it’s the first thing I take them to. You can find deals on the price online too - check dealsgoround.com for people selling groupon type of deals they will not use.
So my biggest piece of advice is while you have no regrets today, will you have them when you are living back in Texas in a few years? If you don’t live life a little now, when will you? With this said, I am taking vacation days the rest of the week and taking my son the zoo on friday! Because it’s free.
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Sophia Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 10:22 am
I agree that the zoo and the fountains/Bean (Cloudgate) at Millennium Park are definitely must dos because they are fun and free. Most of my time in Chicago was spent wandering around the city with a backpack of snacks/lunch/a book, making a picnic whenever I got hungry, and exploring- the only thing I paid for was going up in Sears Tower, which I loved. I also second that the boat tour was raved about by my friends who live there, and they’ve all taken it several times. The city of Chicago has such a rich history apparently you learn a lot about it through the architecture- we tried three times but it was all booked up so we didn’t get to do it and I was super bummed. I also enjoyed the aquarium when I went- I had a free ticket for one of the jazz night events when I was there.
Oh, and there are concerts in Millennium Park that are free and fun as well, and there are lots of families there. I’m all about free
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Anni Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 11:38 am
See, this is where I totally differ from you guys - I adore Chicago, it will always be my hometown, and I think we’ll always move back here. But my god, I HATE the Bean. I went for the first time this year, and the crowd in Millennium Park drives me nuts. I do love the Art Institute, but only inside or on the terrace. My favorite way to see the architecture is just hopping on the brown line, which is cheap, easy, and you can take it to a bunch of other areas. But I think there are so many alternatives to the “traditional” things. Logan Square has concerts in the square, Lincoln Park Zoo has Jammin’ at the Zoo - picnics in the park (which, obviously, Jenna’s already done!) are so nice, and my favorite way to explore is really just by walking our dog and trying the smaller things. I think I would start to hate Chicago if I felt like I “had” to see those touristy things, you know?
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Sophia Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 12:49 pm
I had the totally opposite experience with Millennium Park, but it was the combo of luck and location. For one, my M.O. when approaching a new city is to wander- I had my backpack, a book, some food, and I would leave my friend’s house every morning without an agenda, walking all day and coming home when she got off of work, at which point we would go out on the town and visit different neighborhoods and bars, visit her friends, etc. That’s actually how I “found” Millennium Park, haha. My friend lived right in the middle of downtown in a high rise condo, and you can see Millennium Park off in the distance a few blocks from her front door (I didn’t know what it was at the time, I just took off in that direction). There weren’t any crowds, and I didn’t really know where I was until I stumbled right on the bean- maybe 20 people were milling around the plaza, max, and no kiddos in the fountains, it was almost deserted feeling. It wasn’t until the next week, when my partner joined me in Chicago (I was there for 10 days) over Labor Day weekend for his birthday that I saw the craziness of Millennium Park. It was definitely very different from my first experience, to say the least!
I wandered all over Chicago alone, jumped on random public transportation, talked to strangers, and a lot of days it wasn’t until I got home and googled the places I’d visited that I discovered they were “places to see in Chicago”. Part of why I wanted to do the architectural boat tour was just because I spent so much time walking up and down the canals that I wanted to experience it from the water, too. In general, I totally agree that going the touristy route is usually kind of cheesy, packed, and expensive. But I do think that if you’re looking at something fun and free to do in Chicago- and especially family friendly- that Lincoln Park Zoo and Millennium Park- both on a weekday, early, preferably not near any holidays!- are free, fun to explore and relatively easy to do with kiddos.
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I do think neighborhoods have a lot to do with what you think of the city. My husband (well, boyfriend at the time) lived in the Gold Coast and I never felt unsafe there, no matter the time of day/night. We spent a lot of time out and about.
Hyde Park has some really cool architecture, but isn’t very safe and is far from many activites that most people associate with Chicago. I think if I lived there, I wouldn’t go out much either.
Jenna, I do hope you are able to experience some of what Chicago has to offer - but things you want to, at your own pace, on your terms, and when you feel like it.
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21I’m somewhere in between. I love to explore new places and travel but when I’m at home, most nights I want to just stay home and do things around the house, catch up with my husband and snuggle with my dog. I do like to take in a show, try a new restaurant or check out a museum once in a while. Just on my terms, not when everyone says I should.
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22My husband and I are different, I guess. We like to explore but only explore things that are meaningful to us. So we love exploring festivals, farms, markets, art exhibits, and places to eat.
But I think I wouldn’t like Chicago because it’s too big. I’m more of the mid-size city kind of woman and when we lived in Denver, I hated it. Not that Denver is a huge city but the culture there was something I didn’t mesh with and it felt like one side of the city didn’t know what the other side was doing. Which isn’t the case in most mid-size cities where you can find the city, as a whole, communicates (especially events) better.
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23I hear you on the expense of this stuff. I know for myself, the calculation is usually, “Is that experience worth X dollars?” Some things I wouldn’t do even if they were free. However, somethings I’d do for half price or some level of discount. If you do a simlar calculation, here are some hints (in case making those things free would change your mind on doing them)-
Groupon, Living Social, Mamapedia and all those sites often have steep discounts for museums, zoos, fairs, etc. I have a pass for the Hall of Science in Queens, NY that I can’t wait to use.
TH’s school. A lot of universities have an activities desk/center or something like that where students and staff can get discounted tickets (I would bet the architectural tour might be one of them) for lots of different things- ball games, theater, concerts, tours, etc.
Free days. Most museums and zoos have a ‘free’ day- or a day when you can give any donation you like or even nothing at all. The Bronx Zoo has that on Wednesdays. The Met in NYC is that way EVERY DAY! So check the websites of the various things you were considering and see if they have a ‘free’ day.
Check the perks of your credit card company or bank. I use Bank of America and they have a LOOONG list of museums that are free to BoA customers the first weekend of every month.
I’m in NY, so I used NYC examples, but I’m sure there are similar things in Chicago.
I don’t think you should beat yourself over not taking advantage of things in the area- as long as you won’t beat yourself when you move away and didn’t see them.
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24Oh wow that kinda made me sad.
I live in Virginia but I go to Chicago once a year for work. I always arrive the sat after thanksgiving and I stay for a week to work a meeting.
I LOVE CHICAGO. The Christmas market is great, and OMG the food. I always make my reservations months in advance especially for my new favorite, The Girl and the Goat (Stephanie Izzard’s restaurant from top chef). I also really like Prosecco, they have awesome homemade gnocchi and their avocado salad with balsamic reduction is awesome. And of course no trip to Chicago is complete without a trip to Gino’s East. This year on my list of new places to try is Graham Elliot, it came highly recommended.
I have been to Chicago in the summer too and the free yoga classes on the lawn in millennium park are so cool and of course the crown fountain is awesome for little kids to splash and play in and it’s Free!
I took the architectural boat tour once and it’s very neat to go through the lock system. Did you know that the flow of the river was reversed? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_River#Reversing_the_flow
I may be a born and bred Virginian but Chicago is my city, I hope you will fall in love with it like I have.
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25My philosophy: “I reserve the right to change my mind.”
Good for you for allowing yourself to change your mind, even thought it’s on your list.
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26We’re hermits too! And I don’t mind one bit. In fact, I feel really sorry for the people who aren’t content to stay home (and I know a lot) and HAVE to go out to be happy. I know a big reason we love to stay home is because we have so many hobbies to keep us busy:) But sometimes it is good to get out; we’re a military family so we move a lot and I do like to “experience” where we live. But it really depends on where we are for the level of “experience” we get. When we were in Oklahoma we LOVED it and visited museums and drove out to the wildlife refuge all the time and ate at some awesome local dives. But now we’re in El Paso and stay home a whole lot more. It’s not ’cause we don’t like it, it’s just SO HOT! So to go out and do stuff completely wipes me out ’cause the heat takes so much out of you. Plus El Paso is a lot bigger than Lawton OK so there are more crowds to deal with, not to mention it’s a lot more driving. So I’m content to stay home most of the time and just venture out for story time at the library or play dates with friends. So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you for not doing that stuff. What’s important to you will happen, the rest won’t matter in the long run.
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Lindsey Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 12:00 pm
We’re in El Paso too. I feel guilty about not getting out more to do things, because I really do like to explore where I live, especially when we’re only in a place for a couple of years. But like you said, it’s SO HOT…way too hot to be outside with a baby at least. Your comment made me feel better about being indoors all summer!
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Jax Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 12:21 pm
I had someone describe it like this:
“Summer in El Paso is like winter in Michigan; you just don’t go outside for several months.”
I have two kids so if it was just me I might venture out more. But with kids, in addition to the heat you exert yourself even more hauling them and their stuff around. And at the end of the day it’s just not worth it to come home cranky because you’re wiped out.
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There’s nothing wrong with being a hermit, knowing what your likes and dislikes are, and choosing to do things that make you happy and comfortable! I have always been a hermit myself, and even when I go on vacation I hardly ever visit the tourist attractions. Heck I have lived in the NYC area almost all my life and I have still yet to visit the Statue of Liberty, to to the top of the Empire State Building, etc. (The only exception is museums…but only because I’m an art buff.)
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28Good for you for deciding what’s right for you and your family! I can’t imagine the pressure you must feel being a public blogger and feeling like so many people are expecting you to live a certain way or lead a certain (exciting! glamorous! photographic!) lifestyle. You’re a real person and if you don’t feel like doing the touristy Chicago thing, you shouldn’t have to.
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29I’ve lived in Chicago for 11+ years, and I love it… but not for the museums (which are so pricey I’ve only gone a couple of times - except for the free evenings at the Art Institute) or the tours (we treated ourselves to a boat tour the day we got our marriage license. Fun, but they make stuff up so it’s not really educational). At this point I know people in just about every neighborhood, I’ve attended two colleges here, and I’m going to have my first child here: I’m connected to the people in this city, and that’s what I love about it. OK, that and the lake. And the nasty winters. I actually like how cold it gets.
But in our day-to-day lives, we’re hermits, too: my idea of the perfect evening is a home-cooked meal and some streaming Netflix with the hubs.
I think especially if I knew I only had two years in a place, and I knew I was moving back to a place I love, I wouldn’t worry about getting invested in it.
And frankly? Catching the Navy Pier fireworks from some other vantage point is one of my favorite summer-in-Chicago things to do. You have that (and a view of the lake!) IN YOUR LIVING ROOM. I don’t think you need much else.
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30And it’s worth pointing out: Hyde Park is ISOLATED. Getting from there to the rest of the city is a pain in the butt, by design. Some of the folks you’re getting flack from have only lived on the north side, where they can just jump on the el and be somewhere lickety-split. In HP you either have to schedule yourself around the Metra or drive somewhere.
We just moved to the west suburbs and we’re more connected to the rest of the city than we were when we lived in HP.
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Sophia Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
I agree. I only spent a little over a week in Chicago, but my friend lived right smack dab in the middle of downtown and it was amazing how much I was able to see and do just walking around on my own two feet and hopping on a short el trip here and there. It did make things much easier!
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Laura Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 1:14 pm
You’re absolutely right about being isolated in Hyde Park. My husband and I live there now, and while I like it and don’t really have any issues with feeling safe, I wish we were living on the north side. It’s much easier to use public transportation on the north side, there are many more places to visit up there, the neighborhoods tend to be a bit more affluent, and there’s considerably more variety.
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I think couples who really get along and enjoy their time with their kids can have just as much fun at home as they can out. If you factor in hassle and time, sometimes it IS more fun to stay in than it is to go out! Lord knows we have a great time no matter where we are
We really are so alike….and only 2 hours away from each other!
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32Perfect! We feel the same way … we don’t have to do EVERYTHING because you’re not “experiencing” things if you don’t. We do what we do, and we’re happy with it!
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33I wonder if most of the people who tell you to experience the city are child-less?
I’ve been an explorer, we’ve traveled when we were just a couple, but once we had a baby (now toddler), we love being hermits too - still do some day trips to the beach, visit different play grounds, etc, but being constantly on the lookout for something ‘else’ to do is not our life anymore, we just want to have a good time together as a family and you can certainly do that in your own living room. So I certainly understand you! We are no less happy, we’re actually more relaxed, home with the family is a good place to be, the BEST place, for many of us!!!
Great to hear you’re doing what feels right for you and your family right now!
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34I love this post! I often feel a lot of pressure to do these sorts of things too and it’s refreshing to hear someone else talk about the discovery of realizing not only did they not necessarily want to do these things but that they didn’t have to! Living in a city (seattle for me) makes me tend to feel pressure to do all this stuff and 9x out of 10, I’m glad I did but … on the flip side, it makes each occasion a little more special if you’re not constantly doing these things. Downtime is underrated! Thanks for the post!
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35Just to make you feel better, Jenna, on the flip side I’ve gotten a lot of flack for not being a hermit. A few times people have said that I’m “filling a void” or have something wrong with me simply because I genuinely enjoy being busy and productive, and I like to travel and explore and go out. Comments about how I just need to be satisfied and content, why can’t I just slow down, etc. It was honestly pretty hurtful (and I told them so) because this isn’t something I’m doing, or putting on, just because- it’s who I am, it’s what I enjoy doing, I like going out and meeting new people, doing new things. The fact that they extrapolated “you’re not content and happy with your life” from the fact that I liked to take weekend road trips and go out on weeknights to meet up with friends was really frustrating to me.
I would never, EVER think to say to them “I feel sorry for you that you stay at home all the time and never go out”. Never. Because that’s what *they* enjoy doing. Different people do different things/like different things because they have different personalities. Not better or worse, just different.
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36Let me say this I have lived in the suburbs of Chicago all my life. I have never been to the planetarium or the Lincoln Park Zoo. I probably rarely eat the famous pizza. I do not even drive into the city because it scares me. I do not think this makes me or you a hermit. Why must everything be done in two weeks? You live in the city, check it out on your own time and your own pace. I can’t imagine visiting Chicago while I live her with the same gusto I have for visiting other places I vacation. But isn’t that kind of the fun of living somewhere, exploring at your own pace! I do think you should explore the neighborhoods and things like that because I think it might change your mind about liking Chicago. But as for the museums and such go when crowds are gone, kids are in school and you can just enjoy it. Also check out the free museum days, although they may be more crowded. And I second the market but beware it gets crowded as does the Christmas parade. I hope you change your mind about Chicago but if you don’t it will not surprise me, some people just do not love this city. And yes the weather, oh it can be awful but after awhile you find it is another thing that makes this place unique. Always remember you are not a tourist, you are someone who lives here. There is no schedule, just follow your heart!
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37Have you been to lincoln park zoo? My parents live 45 minutes away so we take the kids there b/c it’s free and 3 hours there is plenty. DH hates Chicago, but I love love love it so we try to find cheap things to do that only last a couple hours. And if you like the beach I strongly suggest driving out to Indiana Dunes.
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38I think I know where you’re coming from. We feel similarly about where we are in Florida, although we’re a good 40-50 minutes from either Orlando or Tampa so it is harder to get out and do things. But… it is sometimes just EASIER to spend time at home, especially with a baby who is more fascinated by a sock on your hand than a museum! And with a busy grad-school husband, having time to just BE TOGETHER, even if it’s just putzing around the house, is so sweet and precious.
If you are taking suggestions, however, I would definitely do the zoo with T1 before you leave. Baby T looooves the zoo, and as long as you’re there at a non-prime time it is pretty easy to just bail at a moment’s notice if you’re getting tired/bored.
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39So…as someone who spent the worst winter of her life in Boston last year, I do have some advice as far as getting out of the house with T1. We got a membership to our Children’s Museum here in Boston. It was the cost of going four times and over the winter, we went every week. The benefit of the membership was many-fold, but by far the best thing was that if Little G wasn’t having it that day, or only wanted to look at one thing, or if it was crowded and we decided to leave…we didn’t feel like we had ‘wasted’ an entrance fee.
Just getting there some days was the adventure for the day, and then we could come home and he would nap and I would get stuff done.
I avoid the museum like the plague in the summer and on ‘Free’ days because we can go any other time we like and not have to deal with the crowds.
The other great benefit is that there are reciprocal memberships for children’s and science museums throughout the country. So we’ve actually visited the Pittsburgh and Harrisburg, PA museums while visiting Grandparents, and even randomly spent time at a museum in NY to break up our drive to the Jersey Shore.
So, while I totally support being a hermit, I would definitely be aware of what your resources are so that you can use them to your full advantage.
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MrsW Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 9:49 pm
Reciprocal agreements are a beautiful thing. We’re considering a zoo membership because it would get us into the aquarium and the science museum for a reduced rate.
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I thought I loved being a hermit, too. Then, I realized that my military ID got me (and my bebe) into museums for free. Husband and I just moved to Dallas, and it seemed a shame to not take advantage of this when I’m among so many great museums. I’ve hit almost every museum within the D/FW area over the past month.
I know I have an advantage, since I can go for free, but getting out and about helped me happen upon other events that are free/very affordable. One of my favorites is lap-sit time at the library. If you can navigate your way to find good produce/food, you can navigate your way to low cost activities.
The planning part used to really get me, too. But, I just pencil in ALL the opportunities I discover on my calendar, so when the timing seems right and the mood strikes, it’s easy to pick up and get out. Once I started convincing myself to get out of the house, it got easier and more fun. It didn’t seem like such a big production - if baby is fussy, I go home early and wait for the next event. Plus, my 13 month old only has about a 2 hour activity limit, so that’s really not that much time to set aside for some super fun time together.
Don’t do it unless you want to, but don’t knock it until you try it! Oh, and even with my amped up motivation these days, five in two weeks seems like a lot.
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41I’m kinda in the same boat. I like to explore and do stuff, but not if it becomes a chore and I don’t have any real motivation. Besides, like you said, your husband is in school and right now it’s about saving money. Even if some of those things could potentially be great experiences, there are just times you have to sacrifice so that you don’t have to later.
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42Ah, Jenna, are you reading my mind right now? This is kind of exactly how I feel about living in LA. I feel a little selfish because I know that for a lot of people, living here would be a dream, but it just isn’t for me, and I’ve finally come to the realization that I shouldn’t have to feel bad about not loving it. I think it’s more of just not “feeling” my city rather than being a hermit, but the sentiment is similar.
May I suggest taking a look at travel books or websites geared toward students travelers? These will have suggestions of free or cheap sites to see. I agree that you shouldn’t waste time and money on attractions people say you “have to see,” but perhaps with a bit of exploring, you could find your own Chicago!
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43So I am huge fan of city life and Chicago — but I totally feel you. We love staying in and watching the Food Network. My SIL hated Chicago as well. They only liked the summers.
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44I think a LOT of how I feel about Chicago has to do with where I’ve lived. I love all of the neighborhoods of my Chicago past & LOVE the one we’ve been in for the past 5 years. They are walkable, convenient, fun, easy. Remember, I tried to get you to live in Lincoln Park!
So where you live - neighborhood & the actual home - is huge. I wouldn’t be happy in a high rise with no laundry in an area where I couldn’t walk out the front door & feel safe & like everything is at my front step!
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45Always live the life YOU WANT!
I live in Japan right now and people think my husband and I are crazy to not be eating more of the food here and visiting more places. But really, we are very happy.
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46I highly recommend that architecture tour if you get the chance. It’s really fun. I loved Chicago when I visited. Sometimes I feel guilty about staying home on days when I know there’s fun stuff to do outside, but I am learning to enjoy my time at home too.
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47Fair do’s! There’s no point tying yourself in knots if it isn’t what you both want.
Fingers crossed you’ll get that backyard soon x
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48I don’t have time to read through all the comments, but wanted to say — do you get the Chicago Livingsocial and Groupon emails? My in-laws live in Chicago, and I’m pretty sure that 50%-off coupons for various museums and the boat tour have come through on one of those lists. I agree with you about the prices of these things — but if you could do one or two at half-off, it could be worth it, right?
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49Hey Jenna,
I usually read your blog through fb notes, but I liked this post so much I had comment and say thank you. Mainly because it was so validating for how I’m feeling right now. Hope you are all doing well.
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