16 Oct
Nursery
I’ve already covered how it works to deal with a baby during LDS worship services, but I wanted to bring it up again because we’ve reached an important milestone… T1 is entering Nursery! In LDS culture, saying this elicits high fives and congratulations from fellow parents. Before now, we were wrestling him down for 3 straight hours, while he owndered why we wouldn’t just take him home and give him a nap already (he naps from 10-12ish and church is from 9-12).
Now, we will show up at 9am, and he will go to Nursery for two hours, and then we will see him again at 11am when everyone meets together for sacrament meeting. While he’s away from his he will be surrounded by toys to play with, eat snacks, sing songs, and have a short little lesson about Jesus and being a good little person.
I’m looking forward to this time when I get to sit in Relief Society and Sunday School and really listen to the messages that the teachers are trying to convey. The best part of all this? His move to nursery also coincides with That Husband being released from his building coordinator calling (which was a tough calling for both of us to endure) and now he is one of the Sunday School teachers in our ward. I can’t think of a better calling for him, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited to go to church and listen to Sunday School lessons. I wish all of you could be there with me to witness what a great teacher he is!
And to the other moms who are waiting every-impatiently for that beautiful day when your kind heads off to Nursery. Have patience my friends, it will come!
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
Yay for nursery!! It makes church so much more bearable
Our bishop is something of a genius. He saw all the parents struggling with pre-nursery kids in hallways all through church, so he created a “babes in arms” gospel doctrine class. Same lesson plan, etc but they bring a small amount of nursery toys in and let the little ones go crazy. The lesson is continued regardless of crying, meltdowns, etc and parents don’t feel obligated to take the kids out because of noise. (Although it stays surprisingly mellow in there usually!) Everyone else in the class is super understanding because we’re all in the same boat. We even have a few older members without children come in occasionally. Seriously, I’ve never gotten so much out of gospel doctrine while parenting!
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Jenna Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 1:41 pm
What!?!?! Your bishop is a genius. I’m bringing this up with my next kid.
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Sophia Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 4:56 pm
That is awesome, but it’s really surprising to me that more wards don’t have this option. The Church is so family based, one would think it would be a common accommodation. However, I was also surprised by the lack of BF’ing rooms in wards, a complaint that comes up a lot on Feminist Mormon Housewives, and something I witnessed myself when I was a going to Church. I do hope that more and more wards become more supportive of families with pre-nursery kids.
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Katy Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 5:17 pm
In our last ward - which was a very interesting, non-standard looking meetinghouse - we actually had a second story contained room with a glass front. You could look down on the sacrament meeting and the sound was piped in there so you could here the talks and music, but it was GREAT for when you felt like the kids were being too noisy and wiggly to be in the chapel, but you still wanted to feel a part of the meeting. We didn’t always go up there, but some days it was wonderful to not have to be on hyper alert crowd control!
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Katy Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 5:17 pm
did I type “here”? I get to typing too fast! Meant: “hear”
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Sharon Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 9:50 pm
My home ward in California had that too. It was known as the “cry room.”
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Rachel Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 10:02 pm
My husband converted last December so we usually go to Gospel Principles which is more for investigators and new converts. I sometimes feel bad having our 15 month old in there but everyone is always really nice about it especially because she usually falls asleep pretty quickly. I think the teacher probably wishes I’d stay out in the foyer but it seems to put some of the other people at ease seeing children being a part of things.
I would love a class filled with other parents and pre-nursery age children. It would really take the pressure off. I can’t wait until January though when both of our kids will be in nursery!
I’ve never had a problem with breast feeding at church. Every building I’ve been in has a ‘mothers lounge’ with comfortable rocking chairs or a couch. They also have diaper changers and sinks in them. I think usually the problem is some women don’t want to go to a separate room and would like it to be more acceptable to stay in whatever meeting they’re in and breastfeed discretely. I’m not sure though.
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Jeannie Reply:
October 26th, 2011 at 11:47 pm
That’s what our ward here does. Makes a huge difference! Still a tough time before they start Nursery, but at least we’re not bugging the older folks!
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I am counting down the days until Max can go to nursery. It will be a wonderful day. Congrats T1!
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2I’m just curious, is there a reason why they don’t have a nursery room for birth - 18 months? I’ve never gone to a church that had a minimum age limit, but then again I’ve never been to an LDS church.
Also, our baby room is come and go as you please in terms of time. A mom might drop her baby off for the first hour, and pick them up afterwards and take them into service. I just love the chance to give moms a bit of a break.
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Emily Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Most churches I’ve been to have that or a cry room. the cry rooms have a glass front and the sound is piped in. in fact I don’t think I’ve ever been to a church without one or the other.
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Rachel Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 10:06 pm
I think it might have something to do with the level of needs 0-18 months have. They need to eat more often and have diaper changes more often. It’s easier on the nursery workers if they don’t have such a huge range of needs to deal with. There’s also a level of skill and interaction that they have after 18 months that makes it easier to have play time, a short lesson, snack time, etc. that they wouldn’t be able to do if it was 0-3 or something.
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Rachel Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 10:11 pm
Also, I don’t know if it is just the areas we have lived, it seems to be encouraged for the fathers to take the children out during sacrament meeting so that the mother can be in the meeting and have that break (which if you have more than 1 child isn’t necessarily a break). My husband and I take turns each week with our son and daughter. Today I had our 15 month old daughter so I took her out if she fussed and I had her with me in class. My husband had our 2 1/2 year old son and took him out if he fussed and dropped him at nursery.
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*High Five!*
A great day indeed for all (especially if they make the transition well, and don’t cry too much). They get snacks, friends, play - you get to sit by yourself and breathe easy for two hours at least. It’s our reward for getting through Sacrament Meeting with two wiggly, semi-loud youngsters.
Now, is it absolutely terrible to admit that I right now in my life I hope I don’t get a calling in the nursery?? Yes…I’m terrible.
Nursery is great and it’s fun to be with the kids, but I feel like I LIVE nursery every single day, it’s nice to have a few hours off. Though I know in some wards it just isn’t an option to not have the young mothers in nursery - we all take our turns eventually!
Good luck in your new calling TH!
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4Hopefully Adelaide will take to nursery before long so I can enjoy the meetings in peace too!
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5Congrats on both counts. It must be nice to be able to hear your Sunday school lessons from your hubby!
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6Hooray for nursery! I think I’m one of the few who has never held a calling as a nursery teacher, but actually enjoys subbing the classes. That age is wild but fun!
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7Hooray! Such a happy day when they (willingly)go in!
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8The purpose of Nursery has never been for babysitting or so that the parents can have a break from their children, but is a class designed for the children themselves, with age-appropriate activities. The stated purposes of Nursery are thus (from the handbook):
“The purpose of the nursery class is to provide a loving, safe, organized place where young children can increase their understanding of and love for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, have positive experiences in a Church setting, and grow in feelings of self-worth. The nursery class is the first Church experience where very young children are taught the gospel and interact with other children and adults.”
So, one can see, the Nursery has nothing at all to do with the parents, but is for Nursery aged children who are at LEAST 18 months old, until they enter the Primary during the January after they turn 3 years old (again, according to the handbook). In addition, I’ve seen time and time again (not in my Nursery, but with previous nursery leaders) that when parents bring in little ones (younger than 18 months) to play, the parents do not understand the purpose of Nursery and sit there and chat about this and that. That wouldn’t be appropriate in any other class in church, and it isn’t in Nursery, either. It is disruptive.
Playtime is only a SHORT amount of time and focus we spend in Nursery, according to the plan and purpose of the Nursery class. To bring children younger than 18 months old is inappropriate. They can BEGIN to come to class with parents when they are 18 months old. Remember, Nursery is an OPTIONAL class for these children, at the discretion of the parents. If the child is not ready, the child should remain with the parents until he/she is ready to leave mom & dad or the parent should attend with their child until the child is ready to separate from the parents. God has made this parent-child bond strong for a purpose, and we should not force the breakage of it. Doing so is damaging to the child.
The majority of our scheduled Nursery time is spent in activities, songs, games, books, a gospel lesson, and sometimes a craft or coloring activity. During these times, all of the toys are cleaned up, and it would be extremely distracting and counterproductive to have younger children (babies, really) in the Nursery while the leaders are trying to teach, instruct and love those they have charge over.
Parents AND church leaders would do well to go back to the church handbook and re-read the Nursery manual instructions so they would realize that “babysitting” never has been a purpose of the Nursery.
Tina
Current Ward Nursery Leader
Former Stake Nursery Leader
Former Primary President (multiple times)
Mother of 9
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