Ha! How many of you clicked over thinking I’m announcing T2? Sorry kids, it’s not time yet.
My big secret?
I’m going back to BYU. Like physically going back to Provo and enrolling as a student again. I’m going to graduate!
A few months ago a conversation about our summer schedule for next year revealed some wiggle-room regarding when That Husband would be returning to work. The idea of using that time to finish my degree popped into my head, and I couldn’t shake it. Would it really work? After a little bit of time spent researching, and a few persuasive emails, I realized it’s not going to be as difficult as I previously thought.
To back up, for those who don’t know, I was married in late 2008 before I finished my English degree from BYU. Over time I forgot how many credits I had left, but I thought it was just over a semester’s worth, maybe 22 or 26, something like that. I signed up for some classes online before I got pregnant, but I didn’t follow through and they all expired before I made much progress. I realized I missed the classroom experiences, specifically when it came to English classes that are largely discussion based, and the difficulty of writing papers without time spent in an expansive library like the Harold B Lee Library at BYU.
When I logged on to check how many credits I had left, I realized there were only 15. 15! I double checked, triple checked, but it’s true, somehow I had whittled it down to less than a semester’s worth of work. 3 English major classes, 1 Advanced Writing class, and 1 Advanced Languages credit.
So now, I had three hurdles to get past.
The first, as I mentioned before, was that I really disliked the online education experience. Writing papers with my limited resources was extremely difficult, and I missed working through classic literature with my peers. What if, I physically went back to BYU for Summer semester 2012 and knocked out my 3 English major classes? That Husband will move up to Washington with T1, my mom will act as his primary caregiver, and I will spend 6 weeks down in Provo taking English 291 (Brit Lit 1), English 293 (American Lit), and English 495 (The Senior Course).
The Advanced Writing class? I can suffer through it online, but I’m going to switch to M Com 320 (Communication in Organizational Settings) instead.
The last class, the one that fulfills my Advanced Languages credit, was in large part the reason why I had all but given up on graduating. For English majors this normally must be completed by taking an advanced language course, and I chose to work toward learning Italian. Mamma mia! What a mistake. I love the language, and it’s fun to speak in Italy, but it’s basically useless. My real problem with this choice though, is that I needed to find a class that was the equivalent of Italian 202 to complete the requirement, and barring an investment of several thousand dollars, that just wasn’t going to happen. Spanish 202? Maybe, but Italian just isn’t as common.
Previously when I hit this point, I just gave up. This time though, I tried emailing a counselor at BYU, and after several exchanges back and forth, my petition to be excluded from the foreign language requirement was granted and I can now take Math 119 online in order to graduate.
Hip, hip, hooray! 5 classes to go and I’ll be walking next August.
I’m writing this post to not only let you know about this big goal I’m working toward, but because it means some changes for the blog. It’s been weeks since I’ve told our family that I’m doing this, and my in-laws are starting to wonder if I’m going to follow through. I realized that the thing holding me back from progressing was That Wife. I do have some Jenna Cole stuff to work on, but when I’m really being honest with myself most of my time lately has been spent on That Wife. The October Photo Challenge, TWLC/2, Europe photos, all sorts of things that have me saying “I just have to finish X, and then I’ll be ready to start on school”. But life keeps happening, and there are always new things to blog about, so I’ve got to make a big change.
I talked about being very drastic, cutting out That Wife entirely until I had met some goals, but I think That Husband realized that was not going to be a goal I actually met, so I tweaked things a bit and came up with a new plan. Until I finish my two online classes, I get two 15 minute increments of That Wife time per day. This includes uploading photos, writing posts, responding to comments, time on the That Wife facebook page, and responding to emails that I label as That Wife related. I love blogging, but I need it to take a backseat for a little bit while I work to get school out of the way.
Formspring and Pinterest will be treated as reward sites, using a system a friend of mine developed in college. 20 minutes working, 5 minutes playing, 20 minutes working, 5 minutes playing. Of course I can use my play time however I please, and sometimes that will go toward That Wife, but sometimes upkeep on my site can feel a little more like work than play.
I’m nervous, because Math 119 is going to be killer for me (I can barely add double digit numbers, I haven’t taken a math class since my algebra class over 10 years ago), but my time spent at BYU will be a little break from reality, allowing me to read and write in a way that just isn’t possible right now. A big thank you to those who have encouraged me to think about school in positive and genuine ways. Cristin, Erin, and Sophia in particular have been wonderful. Thanks friends.
October 23rd, 2011 on 11:38 pm
That’s very exciting! It will be a great example to your children later and it’s fine for your blog to take a backseat…you don’t “owe” us anything and we’ll be here when you come back.
However, I am wondering how often you’ll see T1 during the 6 weeks? I’m assuming you’ll be doing weekend, etc. but dang that is a long time to be away from your kiddo. Are you sure you and him will be able to handle it? That would be the biggest hurdle to me.
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Jenna Reply:
October 23rd, 2011 at 11:59 pm
Unless TH brings him down, I don’t think we will at all. 10 days was tough, 6 weeks will be harder, but I’d rather do this than figure out how to make the classes work online. He’ll have the time of his life living with only the rules that grandma sets for him (maybe none, haha
).
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Marissa C Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 12:54 am
Just curious? Besides the extra help from your mom, why did you decide against having TH and T1 stay with you in Provo? Are you living in dorms while you are there?
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Marissa C Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 12:55 am
That ? was supposed to be a comma.
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Jenna Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 7:57 am
I’ll live off-campus (housing is incredibly easy to find during the summer). TH will work for my dad up in Washington.
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crystal Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 11:22 am
SO you’re leaving T1 and won’t see him for 6 weeks b/c it will be easier on you than online classes?
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Ana Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 12:17 pm
Wow, this is harsh! 6 weeks now won’t even be a blip on T1′s radar in 10 years or even 5! My kids were 14 and 10 this summer when I was gone for 4 weeks and they don’t even remember it now, 2 months later!
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Jenna Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
I deleted that rude comment that used to be here. I want That Wife to be a nice place we can all come and have civilized discussion! Sorry
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Jax Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 11:23 am
I know my opinion is a little skewed since we’re a military family, but 6 weeks will fly by! (we’re on week 4 right now and it feels like my husband just left) It can be tough (especially since you’ll be the one all alone Jenna), but I honestly think T1 won’t mind too much since he’ll be with Grandma. And it hasn’t been that long since the era of shipping the kids off to Grandma’s for the entire summer…
Basically, I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes Jenna.
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Kelli Nicole Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Your comment reminded me that when I was a kid I used to go to California with my twin sister and we’d spend the whole summer there with my extended family. It was always a blast.
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crystal Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 2:34 pm
How come you’re not taking him to BYU with you and finding child care there so you could see him evenings and weekends or taking TH with and having him watch T1? I’m not trying to be snarky, I’m just curious as to how you arrived at your decision.
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Jenna Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 2:36 pm
That Husband is moving up to Washington to work for my dad. It makes more sense to have him be with dad+grandparents+extended family instead of me doing the single mom and full-time student thing.
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Tiffany Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I am assuming TH is going to Washington because he has garranteed work with Jenna’s dad. It is pretty easy to find work with farmers in Washington. therefore why not have him make some money and have T1 hang with the grandparents while she studies her buns off. i think it makes complete sense!
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Marissa C Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Sorry-didn’t mean to start anything
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October 23rd, 2011 on 11:40 pm
That’s awesome!!!! It’ll be an incredible feeling to have that degree once you’re done! I’m so glad I pushed through and finished mine even though I don’t use it right now (the plan is to someday though…). Good luck with everything, I know you can do it! Look at everything else you’ve already accomplished.
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October 23rd, 2011 on 11:54 pm
Oooh this is awesome Jenna! I think all your points about how it is not necessary to do this are valid, but you never know if it will make life easier or matter to someone down the line, so if you guys can make it happen with an acceptable level of sacrifice, this makes a lot of sense. Let me know if you need any help on the math! It would be a good break from all the problem sets that have been bogging me down. Also, my husband and I have had a lot of fun with both being students and having dates in the library. Maybe you and TH will enjoy it too this semester!
-Maria M.
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Jenna Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 12:02 am
I’m going to use http://www.khanacademy.org/. Have you seen how cool it is? TH is really excited to act as my professor while I learn how to add, subtract, divide, and build from there.
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Maria Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 12:16 am
This is awesome! Thanks for passing on the link- that should work much better than my strategy of looking for videos in youtube like this and not being very succesful.
My favorite math website is WolframAlpha. It’s especially great for algebra and calculus problems. It used to be that they showed you the steps to getting the answers, but a bunch of high school teachers must have complained! It’s fun to play around with, and you don’t need to have any fancy program skills. Here is an example: http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=a^2-2a-3%3D0
Best of luck!
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Sara Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 11:36 am
Yeah, basically wolfram alpha was how I passed integral calculus. I can’t believe they don’t show you the steps any more - that part was *so* helpful.
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October 23rd, 2011 on 11:55 pm
Jenna, I’m so excited for you! You sound really happy and hopeful as well. I’m sure that your readers will all understand that your education and family obligations always come first, so do what you need to do and congrats!!
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October 23rd, 2011 on 11:57 pm
I am so, so excited for you! You will have such a feeling of accomplishment when you finish, not to mention how good it will be to have some time to yourself, working your brain academically. I know college, and literature in particular, really stretched me and helped my personal growth tremendously. It’s like the mental equivalent of pilates or yoga. Everything just unfurls and you start to feel more like yourself than you ever have … at least, that’s my experience.
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October 24th, 2011 on 12:02 am
Jenna, I am so thrilled to see that you will do this! Even if you never use your English degree, I can’t imagine being so close and not finishing (hence why I am pushing on through my Ph.D., even though I hate my lab so much). And as for cutting back on blogging — it’s so much more important to just live life than to blog every little detail, and I am sure what you lack in quantity, you will make up for in quality! Good luck… I am sure it will be worth it, and T1 is probably young enough that as he grows, he won’t look back and remember the period you were missing for 6 weeks, but he will always be proud of having a mother who went back to finish her degree!
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Jess Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 2:03 pm
I am so glad I’m not the only one who hates his or her Lab. Honestly the only thing getting me through is that’s I’m THIS close! Ha.
More on topic. Yay!! This is so great. You will feel such a sense of accomplishment when you’re done. And when T1 is old enough to understand, he will be so proud!
I actually graduated with my mom… When I finished my undergrad degree my mom finished her phd. After seeing how hard she worked all through my siblings and I being in HS and college it was tough. Bravo for doing it now when T1 can play with grandma and dad for a few weeks and not know the difference
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October 24th, 2011 on 1:01 am
Congratulations, Jenna! I know this is a tough decision, and sometimes the barriers are enough to keep anyone from a goal. It’s awesome that you started asking questions, emailed back and forth, and found a way to make everything work. You’re an inspiration in so many ways, to so many people!
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October 24th, 2011 on 3:31 am
So exciting!
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October 24th, 2011 on 3:32 am
I was hoping I was a good example to you too.
I hope you won’t think any less of me because I feel like we’re good friends but my respect for you just sky rocketed! I always admired you for being so willing to have a baby so soon, and keep up with Jenna Cole and the daily blogs. When I decided to go back for my BSN I posted a blog about that part of life taking a back seat too. Now everything else is on the back seat while I study for the GRE. I am curious though… what made you change your mind? You seemed so defensive on formspring and on here about how getting an English degree wasn’t going to add anything and how education was about the experience and not the final degree. I am really curious what happened that you felt this was now important to finish. My husband, friends, co workers ask me the same often about the BSN and my desire to get my Nurse Practitioner degree since in the end I’d like to stay home full time.
I’ll miss you around here, but I’m very happy and proud of you!
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Jenna Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 8:02 am
I still don’t think it will be used, but once that foreign language barrier was removed it felt much more accessible. It never really felt like it made much sense to finish everything but the foreign language and then just hope I finished someday. Now I can finish everything all at once which is much more appealing.
Your struggles through school certainly are an inspiration! Won’t it be nice when we are both done and can move on?
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Marissa C Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 9:47 am
Having that degree on your wall feels good
I’m not going to lie. Make sure you frame it somewhere prominent right next to TH’s!
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October 24th, 2011 on 6:07 am
Wow, fantastic news! Very exciting. All the best to you!
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October 24th, 2011 on 6:41 am
How exciting! What a big adventure! Wish you the best!
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October 24th, 2011 on 7:17 am
Oh my gosh! That’s such exciting news, Jenna!!
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October 24th, 2011 on 7:43 am
Congratulations! That is great, and it’ll be such an accomplishment! Good Luck!
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October 24th, 2011 on 7:51 am
GO JENNA!!! I think this is a great decision. A little bit of hard work, planning and alot of prayer and you’ll do fabulous. Just keep your head down and the end in view
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October 24th, 2011 on 7:57 am
Congratulations Jenna!! Very exciting!
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October 24th, 2011 on 8:07 am
I rarely comment here, but this post made me want to let you know what a great choice you made! It won’t be easy, but the outcome is so worth it. Your response about finishing your degree and saying you would never need to fall back on it (something about you would never be in that situation) on Foamspring always left a bad taste in my mouth, but I am so glad you had a change of heart!
My close friend’s husband passed away suddenly this summer (brain aneurysm). He was 34. She never thought she’d have to go back to work, but things change. And with the job market being the way it is, she’s fortunate she had her degree on her resume to help her get a job and continue to provide for their kids. We always say “Oh, that will never happen to me” but I learned this summer that it can happen to anyone.
Congratulations once again! It’s not just for you - it’s for your husband and son as well. That feeling of accomplishment once you finish is a great thing!
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Life On Mulberry Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 8:46 am
So sorry to hear about your friend, Sarah. Thanks for sharing. We hope to never be in a position where our lives would change that drastically, and I’m sure she’s thankful for the support in her life too.
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October 24th, 2011 on 8:22 am
Congrats, Jenna. I think what you are doing is truly courageous!!!!!
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October 24th, 2011 on 8:35 am
Yay, congratulations Jenna!
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October 24th, 2011 on 8:37 am
This is so great, Jenna, I’m so happy for you!! I’m sure it will be a sacrifice to be away from TH and T1, but worth it to finish up! My grandparents actually had to live separately from my father when he was a little boy similar in age to T1, due to being in school and just being unable to make it all work. my dad lived with his grandparents for a while, and they did what they had to do to complete their goals.
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October 24th, 2011 on 8:40 am
I think that’s great.
But I’m still a little confused why your degree is important now?
I know people’s minds change (mine does all the time) but it kind of seems like the barriers you were talking about kept you from getting your degree (like you stated) and then you convinced yourself out of graduating by saying you weren’t going to use your degree so why bother?
I don’t mean for my comment to sound mean.
I’m just confused as to whether or not you told yourself and the world (via your blog) that getting your degree was pointless only because of these barriers? When in reality you always felt it was important but couldn’t push pass the barriers.
Or is your degree still useless and you’re doing this for personal fulfillment?
Either way, it’s great that you’re happy about this new goal in your life.
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Nodakademic Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Maybe it was pointless at the time she commented, but she changed her mind? I know that’s happened to me a lot of times with decisions I thought were solid at the time. (That’s the problem with blogging-if you feel one way and write about it, and then change your mind, everybody knows!)
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Meg @ Moments Like This Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Oh isn’t that the truth! You can never say you didn’t say something because often times people can provide the link.
I was just wondering because I think everyone says something is pointless because they feel like they can’t achieve it (Why work out?That’s stupid, only people who don’t love themselves work out and want to lose weight..blah blah blah).
I think we all fall to this kind of thinking..either that or our minds just change
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October 24th, 2011 on 8:50 am
Good for you! Even if you never thought you would finish, I think it’s a great thing that you’ve changed your mind.
I’m sure 6 weeks without t1 will suck but you can skype!
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October 24th, 2011 on 8:52 am
I’m happy for you that you’ve taken all the steps and realized that the boundaries could be cleared. How exciting! You have a wonderful family and support system, and I’m glad that they’re all pitching in to help you meet this goal.
I think some commenters are getting a little litigious and asking for precise definitions on the “why” and “exactly which statement have you changed your mind on?” I’m not sure any of that matters. If we’re living life right, our world views should be changing with new experiences. There’s not always a black and white reason why we change our minds.
In any case - you’re serving as a great champion of education to your future children. Its awesome that you’re CHOOSING to go back to school. That’s even better than the reason I got my BA (“because that’s just what you do after high school”).
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October 24th, 2011 on 9:03 am
Very exciting news Jenna! You’ll do great!
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October 24th, 2011 on 9:12 am
I guessed right!!! Congrats! I think it is a great choice. I checked blogs early in the am before class — like I do now with a job. You do need that down time.
I am so happy for you and I think you are making an amazing choice. I will edit for you anytime.
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October 24th, 2011 on 9:15 am
Also — I know I don’t have a kid so it’s different but I left Sean for six weeks to study for the bar and my family got me through it. It was so much easier to just work when I was alone. Sometimes you just have to take care of business — and my mom did the same when she took the bar and had kids. There are rare times that you need to isolate yourself and take care of business for yourself and your family.
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October 24th, 2011 on 9:18 am
Hooray! Congrats, Jenna! This will be worth every sacrifice!
BTW, that second photo of T1 looks like a Jenna-face!
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October 24th, 2011 on 9:24 am
What an exciting decision, Jenna! Congrats and good luck.
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October 24th, 2011 on 9:52 am
Holy cow I am so happy and excited for you. Great great decision.
I am sure you have plenty of resources for help with math, but I could be one of them.
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October 24th, 2011 on 10:45 am
That is so exciting! Even if you never use it, having a college degree is such an accomplishment and sets a great example for T1 and any other kids you have. I graduated from BYU in English (minored in editing), used it for about a year and then went back and got my special education license. Now I teach math 80% of my day (go figure!). I still wouldn’t trade my experience in the English program for anything! If you can, take a class from Trent Hickman. He was by far my favorite English professor at BYU!
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October 24th, 2011 on 10:46 am
This is fantastic, Jenna! My Mom always regretted not finishing her undergrad degree. When I was in late high school and college she went back and completed several classes. When she realized I was graduating in 2004, she doubled up so she would walk in 2003. I loved that she was so motivated to graduate before me, and I was so proud to be part of her graduation!
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Nodakademic Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Yep, same with my mom-she wanted to finish before I graduated from high school, so she got her bottom in gear and had some of the best study skills I ever saw-she finished!
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October 24th, 2011 on 10:47 am
I’m so happy for you! I’m sure it was a tough decision - with TH, T1, Jenna Cole, That Wife, etc to take into consideration, but I know in the long run, it will be worth it! Congrats!
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October 24th, 2011 on 11:00 am
That is fantastic news! I definitely wouldn’t let 15 credit hours stand in the way of finishing. I agree with everyone else, take the break you need and we will all be here when you get back to blogging. I hope you share a bit about your experience!
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October 24th, 2011 on 11:15 am
So exciting, Jenna! You should give yourself a pat on the back for pushing yourself. Knock ‘em dead!
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October 24th, 2011 on 11:37 am
Good for you! That is really exciting and we will all be waiting here for you to congratulate you when you graduate. I never finished school either and hope to one day do the same thing. How exciting!
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October 24th, 2011 on 12:03 pm
I’m way excited for you!! Congratulations!! I know it’ll be hard for you to be away from T1 and TH, but you’ll be busy with school and they will be fine!
Good for you!!
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October 24th, 2011 on 12:13 pm
That’s awesome!!! I think it’s great that you are taking the time to finish and get it done. I noticed in another comment flow that you said you don’t think it will get used, but it will be good to have it and have it done. However, I think it’s already benefited you. It always seems like English majors are amazing writers and you obviously have a talent for that.
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October 24th, 2011 on 12:14 pm
Jenna-
I am so proud of you (even though I don’t know you!) because going BACK to finish is so much harder than deciding not to go or finishing when you were young to begin with. I JUST completed my degree requirements after dropping out in 2000 with NINE hours left to graduate. So, I know how hard it was to make that choice (my college is local so no moving, but the final class was out of state for a month and that was heartbreaking!) and I applaud that you value the permanent value of a degree over the temporary inconvenience of acquiring it.
Good Luck and CONGRATULATIONS!
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October 24th, 2011 on 12:40 pm
I’m so excited for you to come out to BYU and finish up! Those 6 weeks will fly by and I’m sure your parents will love the chance to have bonding time with T1 since they don’t normally get to see him so often! If you need any help while you are out here, let me know!
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October 24th, 2011 on 12:40 pm
I’ve always been proud of my English degree from BYU. I did one summer semester, and the classes were much smaller. Great experience. Good luck to you!
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October 24th, 2011 on 12:41 pm
My mom went back to BYU and took a summer worth of classes when I was about a year old (and I stayed with my grandma in Logan). I am so proud of my mom for finishing up (she took other classes before I was born that transferred back to her BYU degree and she finished her last two classes via distance learning after that summer at BYU)).
Good for you for making this happen.
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October 24th, 2011 on 1:51 pm
This is absolutely fabulous! Congrats on finding a way to make it all work, and here’s to finding ways to make it just a little fun!
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October 24th, 2011 on 3:50 pm
This is so awesome! I really admire mom’s who go back to school. When I was growing up my mom went to night school and about 7 years ago, finally finished her AA degree. She did one class per semester!
Congrats!
The 6 weeks will go by so fast and the feeling of accomplishment will be amazing
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Stephanie C Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Rawr.. moms.. not mom’s!
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October 24th, 2011 on 3:57 pm
Six weeks without your son will suck but I think ultimately you’re doing the right thing. Even if you never “use” your English degree, it’s good insurance. There are so many jobs out there that require any college degree and God forbid something happened to TH, you’d need to be covered.
As to people being snarky about your decision to be apart from T1, my sister and I regularly got shipped off as kids to far-away family members for summers and we LOVED it. My husband’s family did the exact same thing. I think he even took his first solo flight at age 6 or 7.
I think it’s also good to step away from the blog for a while. I admit that while I love to read blogs, I never will understand why some people feel OK sharing so much of their personal life to strangers when it isn’t something that brings in big bucks. This is your hobby but it’s a huge time suck. Being a mom is your No. 1 job and now finishing your degree is your next most important task. Focus and you will do great. Good luck.
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October 24th, 2011 on 4:19 pm
Yay for you! I think that not finishing is something that you could eventually potentially regret, whereas I have trouble seeing you regretting finishing.
Some people think my husband and I are crazy for both getting our post-grad degrees at the same time (masters for me, JD for him). We could do the whole one of us work while the other one studies and then flip, but I think that just reconciling with being poor for a while and getting it all out of the way is the better choice for us. It’ll be so nice once it’s done.
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October 24th, 2011 on 4:26 pm
I read your blog daily but hardly comment anymore. But i try to drop a line every so often.
Good luck doing your remaining credits! I know school is hard work (i didn’t plan on it but from high school to completion of my fual emphasis masters degree with a 2 yr break along the line and part time education + full time work then part time work to full time education took me 12 yrs!) my only goal was to be done before i had a kid (i was pregnant when I walked for my Master’s).
Anyhow i know the first hand challenges when it comes to self motivation/time/energy/personal logistics. I think it’s awesome you found the perfect timing to reach your goal when you are mentally ready for it. And you are so blessed to have a great support system to help you pave your path. Not many people have that.
And hey as a reg reader i will miss your posts- but I hope as with your twlc & fit bit & other lifestyle posts you help inspire other mommas out there. It’s not easy juggling all this but its great to see how other families/mom’s DO manage to get “it” [meaning anything] done! You know? We mommas need to help verbally encourage and cheer on other
Mommas and build them up too as much as that mantra “it takes a village” type thinking.
High five! You go girl!
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October 24th, 2011 on 4:57 pm
Congratulations! A college degree will do so much more for you in the long run than a few months of blogging. I don’t even know you, yet somehow I’m feeling really proud of you right now. Best of luck!
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October 24th, 2011 on 5:13 pm
Well done you! I’m very impressed. I was always sad that you felt there was no reason to finish your degree. I have huge respect for you for going back to study - so much more challenging that doing it all at once (I graduated earlier this year but now have to make revisions on a paper my supervisor and I submitted, such a struggle!).
All the best for your studies, it’ll be worth it!
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October 24th, 2011 on 5:15 pm
I’ll add mine to everyone else’s…congratulations! This is so awesome. I would be NO help with English, not that I think you’ll need it, but if you have any math questions let me know! I would love to be able to give something back to you…
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October 24th, 2011 on 6:05 pm
Congrats! This is so wonderful. I think the degree will be all the more meaningful given that you left and had to make some sacrifices to make it happen.
Even if you think you’d never need it… an English degree is one of the most versatile degrees out there because it shows you can write and critically analyze. That lends itself to many fields. I’ve got ony myself =)
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October 24th, 2011 on 6:22 pm
get it girl! very excited for you : )
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October 24th, 2011 on 6:55 pm
Congratulations and good for you! That is pretty exciting news. I know others have offered, but I also want to offer help in math.
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October 24th, 2011 on 8:24 pm
What an incredible opportunity! If I were in your place, I would probably do the same exact thing. I had been holding off on school for many years due to sick parents/financial problems. They both passed away a couple of years ago, and I continued to work to save up money. After I had everything in order, my boyfriend, my dogs and I moved to Portland earlier this year where I’m now able to pursue a nursing degree…things happen for a reason, and when an opportunity presents itself, who are we to turn it down?! Congratulations and best of luck in school!!
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October 24th, 2011 on 8:32 pm
Since I teach college English at the U, let me know if you ever need any help with the English and writing classes! Not that I think you do, but that’s what I’m teaching and getting my PhD in, so I’m always happy to help in any way.
Also excited you’ll be back in UT for an extended time! TW UT meetup?!
And I agree that six weeks is not that long. When I was a kid, I spent several summers at a summer-long camp. That was much longer than six weeks, and not only did I survive, I thrived and had a fun time. I’m sure T1 will be just fine. And it will be great for you to have some time for yourself and to focus your attentions on school. I applaud you for taking the opportunity and doing what you need to do to finish!
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October 24th, 2011 on 9:12 pm
Hey Jenna! First of all - so proud of you! It will be difficult w/o T1 and TH for awhile, but the payoff will be worth that short separation. Plus, they’ll be with family.
I would love to understand more about this! Please help!
How are you able to graduate so quickly with (only) 15 credits? Is it a BA or AA?
I would *love* to know how to do this. I currently have 55 hours and most BAs require 120 or so. I’ve checked with the college I attended and my credits are never supposed to expire. I need one more science and two PEs to finish up my sophomore year. I talked to a local community college about doing this, but they said I might as well attend the local university because I only need those three classes.
Thanks so much!
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Jenna Reply:
October 24th, 2011 at 9:15 pm
Sorry for this to be so confusing. I only have 15 credits *left* out of like, I don’t know, 150 or something. Haha, I hit 120 credits a long time ago because I switched my major so many times
Technically I spent like 5 years at BYU, it might have been more, getting pneumonia and having to discontinue one semester (and not returning until a year later) and switching majors several times really made the process slow.
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October 24th, 2011 on 10:12 pm
Woo hoo! You go girl!!! So exciting!!
Ugh, I left school for professional opportunities (twice) and going back seemed soooo pointless… BUT you’ll be so happy you did it!!
15 credits is nothing and 6 weeks will fly by! : )
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October 24th, 2011 on 11:45 pm
Jenna, I think this is awesome! Way to do hard things! Even though I don’t use my degree to make money at the moment, I can’t tell you the pride it gives me just knowing I have it, that I accomplished that. Of course I also think that the things I learn help me daily as a mother. There is so much to be said for having educated mothers (not that those 15 credits will magically make you educated and until then you’re not, but won’t it be a good example to your kids, especially your daughters, to value their education?) (Also, I think that last sentence was quite the run on of sorts.)
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October 25th, 2011 on 6:31 am
I was an English major, so I totally understand what you mean about needing the classroom environment for discussions and the library for writing papers, etc. I feel like English, moreso than other majors, requires an on-campus environment because the discussion, etc. is so key in understanding the literature and making connections between subject material. Also, papers for advanced English are so intense that I personally know that I could not do them with any distractions.
So good luck with all of it! If you wanted to line up some guests posts, the way you did with maternity leave, I’m sure you have a large group of willing contributors!
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October 25th, 2011 on 7:57 am
I am so glad you emailed them to see what you could do about that language requirement. You never know what will happen until you ask, right?! So glad that it all worked out for you!
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October 25th, 2011 on 8:56 am
Congratulations, and I think it would probably be unnecessary or overly-complicated to do anything but what you are intending to do with regard to TH, the baby, etc. I think you’ve said in the past that you hate the idea of “well it works for MY family” but frankly, it does work for your family. TH would buckle down and be a single parent if he had to, but he doesn’t have to, your mother is happy to help, and there’s no reason to give both of you the added stress of having his primary caregiver have to go to school as well when there is an alternative.
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October 25th, 2011 on 10:29 am
I always find it interesting how people view time away from children. If a busy father goes on a business trip for a month overseas, he’s supporting his family, so of course he would go, no problem. If a military father/mother has to leave for sometimes a YEAR at a time, that’s fine too, in the eyes of society. But if a parent takes time away from a child from something that society views less pressing- finishing school, perhaps volunteering overseas for a month, maybe going away to a writer’s retreat for two weeks because it’s a hobby- suddenly it’s all gasp and fear and you’re damaging your baby.
Let’s get logical- long absences either damage a baby/child, or they don’t. Because children are far from logical, and I can tell you that they really don’t care *why* a parent is gone, they just care that they are gone. We can either say that their caring about the parent being gone inflicts long-term trauma, or we can’t. So we can either say that military families and business people and parents that send their kids to summer camp are damaging their children permanently, or it isn’t. We cannot arbitrarily apply our own values as to what is “worthy” of a parental absence, and then extrapolate that into whether or not the child is going to be affected negatively. If we base relative trauma based on the “worthiness” of the absence, we’re truly being absurd, and we’re clearly showing our own biases and values (we all have them, that’s fine, but they’re not logical or pertinent to this discussion). If we don’t think Mr. Businessman.com or Soldier Mommy/Daddy are damaging their child, then we cannot turn around and say Jenna is.
Also? Remember last summer, when Jenna moved to her parents house with T1, and TH stayed behind to do school things and look for an internship? Why wasn’t everyone freaking out then? To me the outrage smacks of sexism, for what it’s worth. This is the EXACT same summer arrangement, only this time TH is going and Jenna is staying home. I think a lot of people bristle at the line about how her mother will be T1′s primary caregiver, but that’s because TH will be working on the farm making money to support his family, so they can do things like have Jenna live in Provo for 6 weeks and finish her degree. Honestly, I think it will be a healthy change of pace for everyone. T1 gets time with his grand parents, TH gets to spend quality time one-on-one with his in-laws, and Jenna gets to spend quality time ALONE, working towards a goal. She’s been a SAHM since T1 was born. Again, if we want to get real here, we could say that this 6 weeks out of 2 years of life (he’ll be 2 when this all goes down) is a blip on the radar compared to moms who work outside the home, couldn’t we? I’m clearly playing devil’s advocate here, so please know that I do NOT think any less of a working mom, I’m just using it as an example of how far we could take the “time away from your child is terrible!!” logic.
But more than all that, congratulations on going back to school and finishing! I’m very, very happy to hear it
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Sophia Reply:
October 25th, 2011 at 10:42 am
*sorry, her parents’ house
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Sophia Reply:
October 25th, 2011 at 10:48 am
Oh, and this isn’t aimed at anyone on this thread. This is just a general musing on something I’ve noticed a lot, when it comes to conversations about being absent from one’s child.
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Dorien Reply:
October 25th, 2011 at 11:21 am
This is so well put! I think you made an excellent point, Sophia!
Jenna, I’m so excited for you and I wish you all the best!! Going back to school can be hard - I’ve been there myself - but you’ll be so proud of yourself when you’re finished!
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Shanna Reply:
October 26th, 2011 at 12:16 am
I think some of us bristle at the TH not being the primary caregiver because working doesn’t mean you give up that role. If my child were in daycare, would I call them the primary caregiver? No. To me, that statement put together with Jenna’s comments about TH being less-than-fond of having to be the primary caregiver, is what smacks of sexism.
For what it’s worth, I couldn’t care less about her leaving. It’s to finish her degree, so my attitude is that she needs to do whatever it takes. However, pointing out that it would be hard to leave your child (not to mention husband!) for 6 weeks is pretty obvious, and it doesn’t mean anyone is bashing her for her decision. Personally, I couldn’t deal with 6 weeks away from my husband and I am slightly incredulous that she would choose that over online classes. But she’s more independent than I am, obviously, and I can see how being a SAHM is not conducive to taking those types of classes full time. To each their own. Maybe I missed some deleted comments?
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Sophia Reply:
October 26th, 2011 at 7:45 am
No, you didn’t miss any deleted comments, I meant to type “a lot of people may bristle”, meaning that the general human reaction would be just that, however most of my comment was just a general musing on how interesting it is that we tend to categorize parental absences as good or bad depending on motive, when that’s not logical to the purported argument/concern of long-lasting child trauma.
As to your other point, I interpret “primary caregiver” as the person who gives primary care during the day, which, in this case, would be Jenna’s mom, since TH will be working. Currently, Jenna is the primary caregiver while TH works. As a child who was put in daycare, and as a person who will be working when I have kids, personally I have no qualms saying that, during the work week, when I’m at work and my kid is at daycare, the daycare is the primary caregiver. That doesn’t mean anything good or bad in my opinion, and it doesn’t make one less of a parent, but if a child is at the daycare from 7 a.m. until 5 or 6 p.m., I pick them up, we go home, and they are in bed and asleep by 8, I (personally)cannot say that, on a workday, I am the primary caregiver. Just as I don’t think Jenna could say TH would be the primary caregiver if he is working on a farm in the summer time, something which generally entails incredibly long days, working sometimes 7 days a week. I’ll be the first to admit- before I knew that TH was working on the farm, I read that line and thought “What??” Once I realized he’d be a farm worker during the summer time, it made sense that Jenna’s mom would be the primary caregiver during the day.
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Sophia Reply:
October 26th, 2011 at 7:48 am
And I’m sorry if this sound blunt or anything, I don’t mean it to if it does, I’m just a bit rushed because I’m heading off to work half an hour early thanks to our first snowfall
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October 25th, 2011 on 11:16 am
I know I’m late to the party here: but wow! What a summer that will be! Even though it’s always hard for me to leave my kids for overnight (or more), you know, once I’m gone, I get adapted to the kid-free lifestyle very quickly! I know you’ll miss him, and may even find yourself making arrangments to visit if you just can’t wait the entire 6 weeks, but this will go by quicker than you think!
If you were to be seperated and not really doing anything (just hanging out at your house or something), that would get lonesome and difficult, but with school you’ll be plenty busy and the time will pass much easier. And what a summer with Daddy! And Grandma!
Good luck in your studies! I hope you enjoy your brief flashback in time as a single gal again - hey, there are aspects of that to look forward to! And think of the reunion you’ll have with TH and T1! I know when I get breaks and breathers it helps renew my zest for motherhood - missing those munchkins helps remind me how important my time with them is.
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October 25th, 2011 on 12:10 pm
That’s fantastic! Oh my gosh. I’m living vicariously through you. I paused school to get married and have a baby, and just hearing a fellow blogger going back lets me know it’s never too late to finish what you started
Congratulations, savor every minute of it!
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October 25th, 2011 on 12:54 pm
Good for you! Both of my parents went back to university after my brother and I were born - my mom to complete her undergraduate degree when we were toddlers, my dad to do his masters a few years later.
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October 25th, 2011 on 3:04 pm
Jenna — I’m SO STOKED FOR YOU! Your degree is an accomplishment no one can take away that you did all on your own. I totally wish I could high five you through the computer!
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October 25th, 2011 on 4:34 pm
I have been reading your blog for ages, but never commented until now! I think this is a fantastic plan! What a wonderful example to set for T1!
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October 25th, 2011 on 5:43 pm
Good for you, Jenna! Do what you have to do, especially regarding cutting back on blogging time. That’s so exciting that you’re going to finish school!
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