A few weeks ago I sent an email out to a group of women I know from the internet (blogs, Instagram, Facebook) and asked if they would be interested in doing a Happy Hollow meetup. I was the only one that knew everyone (and some of the people I emailed I have yet to meet in person!) and I thought it would a fun way to get to know a bunch of people at the same time. Plus T1 cannot get enough time with friends (and everyone under the age of 18 is an instant friend for him).

We picked a date about a month away, and as I expected people dropped out over the coming weeks (things come up, you know?) and the morning of we were set to meet two other families with two kids at Happy Hollow. Unfortunately one of the families had a really sick daughter and so it dropped down to just me and my kids and the family of a friend from BYU. We love these guys and are so happy they moved to the area! I also love that Maria told me outright “I don’t mind if you take pictures of my kids and post them online.”

Once I’m back from Washington and unpacked a bit, I’d love to try to arrange another one of these meetups. Let me know in the comments if you’d like to be part of the email list next time I try to set something up. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could visit the Treatbot Karaoke Ice Cream Truck together? Or maybe we could all go to the beach! (I’m craving some hot weather and a swim, I here it’s going to be something we see this weekend).

A common thread of discussion that I noticed in my post about having a nanny and not trying to “do it all” was the suggestion that I am unhappy in my current position and confusion as to why I don’t try to remedy that. First, I am not unhappy. I have a great life, I recognize that on a daily basis, and I’m lucky to be where I am. I think I would be unhappy with a husband who works out of town and on weekends, no family or close friends in the area (that is slowly changing, but we’ve still been living in this area for less than a year and real friendships take time!), and two young children if I didn’t have help, but I do have help and so I am able to balance everything in a way that feels good for me/us.

The last time I worked at something other than being a mom, wife, or blogger. I miss this.

My paradigm shift of the last year has released me from any outside influences telling me to stay home and have children and now the question I ask myself on a regular basis is “What do I want to do with my life?” I recognize that pursuing a career is a good fit for me, but unlike most other 28-year-old women in America I did not spent the last decade working toward one. I stopped advancing in math courses after my sophmore year of high school and haven’t made much progress since. I chose a path through college that avoided math or science classes as much as possible because I assumed I would do nothing more than stay at home nurturing my kids while my husband worked. Now I have an English degree (not the most marketable choice) and the inability to do little more with an Excel spreadsheet than bold and highlight the cells with pretty colors. I set no foundation for a career, and that makes things difficult.

The two greatest deterrents leading me away from working right this moment are the cost of childcare and life/house management. Currently I manage everything to do with the house, finances, and children on my own. When That Husband is home and the children are awake he shoulders 50% of the parenting responsibilities with me, but there is still a lot to be done. This 1950s style model of marriage is what works best for us with his current job, and he knows that if he were ever to switch to a 9-5 style position that many of the things I take on would shift over to him. However, If I start working outside the home it would mean taking all of the things I do right now between 9-5 and doing them in the mornings, evenings, and on the weekends. Plenty of people do this (I have immense respect for households with two working parents, it sounds very stressful to me and I’m always awed by how productive Julia is according to her Day In The Life posts) but we have the financial freedom to avoid this and so I am choosing to do that at this time. Also, I’m about to get on a plane and go spend 5 weeks living with my parents, something I wouldn’t be able to do working for someone else.

I am lucky though, because unlike a lot of others I have the flexibility and opportunity to do almost anything I want with my life. I live in the age of Khan Academy and Udacity. I can pick any subject in the world and become an expert in it, often for free. When it comes to developing new skills, the only thing holding me back is the way I choose to spend my time. Read more →

Have you seen You Are My Wild? 14 phenomenal photographers showcase a photo of their children every week. The images are raw and poignant and exactly the way I want my own children to remember their childhood. A few weeks of reading their blog and I knew that I wanted to try to do the same for my kids.

I used some birthday money to buy myself a new camera strap that makes toting my camera+two kids a lot easier and started keeping my dSLR close-at-hand. I love my iPhone, but it’s just not the same. The last image in this post? That is pure magic to me, and my iPhone never could have done that moment justice.

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Last week I revealed on Instagram that we’ve had a nanny since T2 was born. She works part-time in the mornings and when she is here I do all of the things that are infinitely harder (or impossible) with two children. Grocery shopping, haircuts, blogging, wasting time on Facebook, working out, errands, making myself lunch. On Wednesdays I pack up the kids and we go on adventures around the Bay because I’m not stressing about the mountain of things on my to-do list.

Having help makes me a better parent.

We talk frequently about how hiring her is one of the best investments we’ve ever made. When That Husband comes home on the weekends he can go to work on Saturday (without me feeling overwhelmed at the thought of managing the kids all by myself for yet another day) and we can spend time together as a family on Sunday. Otherwise I’d constantly be handing the kids over to him and declaring that it was his turn. There would be little to no couple-time or family-time. It has been the best possible thing we could do for our marriage and stress levels after having another baby.

I don’t reflect on the experience without constantly thinking about how lucky we are. There are plenty of families who do much more than we are without any help at all. I know having any paid childcare help is a great luxury, and I am very grateful for that.

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I finally made my debut on Good Morning America (me and T1 and my fridge!). Someone was kind enough to send me the online link.

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