If I asked T1 to title this post, that might be how he would write it out. Last week my four-year-old came home from preschool sounding about a decade older than he really is, introducing every other sentence with “like.”
We saw this a few months ago with even. “Even I had a nightmare last night.” “Even T2 wants the milk.” “Even I drew this for you at school.” I used my default approach for these little quirks and didn’t draw attention to it, hoping it would go away. The even overuse seems to be something he’s moving past, but the introduction of like makes me nervous because it’s so pervasive throughout our culture. We, his parents, use it all the time ourselves, though not as often as I think the generation below us does (how much worse is it going to get for those who will be in college in 20 years?). It is hard for me to describe an experience I had with Person A to Person B without peppering my speech with “I was like” and “She was like” and “It was like, the best thing ever.”
My understanding is that there are two basic schools of thought when it comes to linguistics:
- There are rules, and the only correct way to speak and write is to obey the rules.
- Language is a product of the environment it is spoken in. Dialects and linguistic trends become valid over time as they are regularly reproduced in everyday use.
If the second description is true, then I don’t need to worry so much about T1′s new habit. The old guard will fight against it, kids will be marked down for using it in their speeches in class, and eventually it will become a generally acceptable practice. He will need to learn boundaries and try to curb it enough to match societies expectations in order to achieve his personal goals, but I don’t need to assume this is going to hold him back in a permanent way.
If it’s the first description then… what do I do? Like, what are the other parents out there doing?
Also:
My husband’s parents would always stop and ask “Well, is/was it similar to ________, or was it actually _______.” Every time. I can tell you that of his 4 kids, none of them really overuses the word ‘like’ that often. Once in a while you’ll hear it in their conversation, but it’s rare, and used mostly when one is speaking to someone in a very casual setting (as in speaking with a group of close friends).
They will all say that though it was annoying in high school, they’re glad of it now because it resulted in a lot of opportunities for them. Employers, colleagues, teachers, peers and others just think better of you if you can speak intelligently, have good manners and make small talk - that’s another thing we seem to be teaching less and less of, and that goes a long way.
At four? Nothing. The previous commentor offers good advice, but for kids who are old enough to understand that question. For now, just use correct pronunciation, grammar and word choice when you speak. Just like they learned to speak in sentences as they developed, kids learn how to conjugate verbs, make listening sounds, and code switch. I don’t correct my nearly four year old, but I do explain words I’m using when it seems that they might be confusing. For example, my son is very literal right now, so “under the speed limit” as a phrase, to him meant that we were literally underneath something. He uses ‘mines’ for posessive and ‘mans’ instead of ‘men.’ Just keep talking, often, with him. The give and take of conversation will create change in his words.
Just enjoy the little quirk while it lasts. These are sweet times to remember that really do go too fast.
That is such an enchanting picture of T1! What was your exposure setting?
It’s amazing how kids pick up new language and mannerisms, right? A friend of mine was just saying she felt her 3-year-old grew up about 10 years in one day of preschool.
Like isn’t used much in the south.
He’s fine! Don’t waste your time worrying about this. Your second description of how language works is the more valid description. Kids will end up speaking more like their peers than their parents anyway, so in the end it doesn’t even matter that much if you model “perfect” standard English for your children. They will model the language they hear at school and on the playground.
What do you do? Nothing. He’s only four years old! It is very common for four year olds to find a new word of the moment and use the heck out of it because language is fun. Tomorrow he might switch to “um” but that doesn’t mean he needs any kind of intervention. Don’t stifle his desire to try out new words and phrases at this age, and as someone said above, enjoy this little quirk and funny thing while it lasts!
At four don’t stress yourself. Kids are sponges, he heard it somewhere and is trying it out. Just don’t repeat it back to him. That’s my method at least. My nephew is just about T1′s age and says all sorts of crazy things. Like “Soandso falled down!” so I say: “O, soandso fell down? Is soandso alright?” Let him know you understood, show him the right way without interrupting the conversation, and let it go. There’s plenty of time to fine tune this stuff later. Never try to curb a child that young from exploring language, just keep the conversation going.
Aw, I love four year old “isms”!I have a 4.5 year old who pronounces “family” as “flamy” and I seriously think I will cry when she outgrows it.
You don’t need to do a thing about this other than be conscious of your own speech at home, which he will model. He’ll grow out of it.