To celebrate the new school year I decided I would treat myself to a mini-session in the front yard with my kids, using a full roll of medium format film in one sitting. This is an indulgence because the cost for the film+development+scanning for the 15 frames I shot was $23.20. I only kept 8 of the images from the roll, which means each photo cost me $2.90, not including any time spent editing. It’s an expensive hobby to pick up (digital images would be free!), but when I scroll through these images I think it’s worth it.

This is an evening in our front yard, eating watermelon with the cookie dough scoop my great-grandma gave me on our wedding day, dancing to a Spotify playlist, shouting with excitement each time a neighbor walked by with a dog.

Mamiya 645, Porta 400 (b&w images converted in LR)


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This picture by my SIL, taken on a golf course in Royal City while we visited for a week this summer, and is the best I could find to convey the way I’m feeling right now because… Read more →

If I asked T1 to title this post, that might be how he would write it out. Last week my four-year-old came home from preschool sounding about a decade older than he really is, introducing every other sentence with “like.”

We saw this a few months ago with even. “Even I had a nightmare last night.” “Even T2 wants the milk.” “Even I drew this for you at school.” I used my default approach for these little quirks and didn’t draw attention to it, hoping it would go away. The even overuse seems to be something he’s moving past, but the introduction of like makes me nervous because it’s so pervasive throughout our culture. We, his parents, use it all the time ourselves, though not as often as I think the generation below us does (how much worse is it going to get for those who will be in college in 20 years?). It is hard for me to describe an experience I had with Person A to Person B without peppering my speech with “I was like” and “She was like” and “It was like, the best thing ever.”

My understanding is that there are two basic schools of thought when it comes to linguistics:

1. There are rules, and the only correct way to speak and write is to obey the rules.
2. Language is a product of the environment it is spoken in. Dialects and linguistic trends become valid over time as they are regularly reproduced in everyday use.

If the second description is true, then I don’t need to worry so much about T1′s new habit. The old guard will fight against it, kids will be marked down for using it in their speeches in class, and eventually it will become a generally acceptable practice. He will need to learn boundaries and try to curb it enough to match societies expectations in order to achieve his personal goals, but I don’t need to assume this is going to hold him back in a permanent way.

If it’s the first description then… what do I do? Like, what are the other parents out there doing?

I sat down in the stylist’s chair with one of those sighs that I imagine stylists describe as “one of those clients.” The kind that come in for a cut, but are really seeking a life makeover.

“I’m having some sort of late-twenties crisis and I feel like there are a lot of things I can’t change. One thing I do have control over though is my hair. Change your hair and then change your life, right?“

She brought out the iPad and we pulled up pictures of Elisabeth Moss, my celebrity doppleganger. I decided I would choose my next haircut based on what I liked best on Elisabeth, resulting in you see below.

Photo taken at a friend’s GNO birthday celebration. We paid for a hotel suite, got dolled up, went to dinner, and went out dancing. Afterward all but one of us were too drunk to feel the 3:30am Napa earthquake that rocked the hotel room back and forth!

When I look at that picture, I can see that this is not a bad haircut for me. I think I look about as pretty as I can look, which is plenty pretty for my needs. (And yes, if you’re wondering, it is delightful to be able to go to the Goodwill Boutique and buy any dress that strikes my fancy.)

For reference, my old style.

When people ask me how I like it though, I screw up my face and pause a bit before I answer. I didn’t realize before that I associated my long hair with youth. And I associate youth with desirability. I’ve been telling myself for years that I can deal with the wrinkles and the sagging skin, but it’s the thought that I might be ranked as undesirable that does me in. Read more →

Where You Go, I Go