Grunty, little baby, P, Boo boo,

I stopped writing monthly updates 6 months ago. You turned 18 months today though, and I felt it was time. Did you know this is the only time in your life when people will notice your half birthday? Growing up I always felt like October 15th was pretty special, but no one else agreed. Maybe I can give you a little bit of the magic I craved as a kid, because turning half a year older is pretty darn cool. Especially at this age, when you change so quickly and have so many milestones to celebrate. You walk with no problems now, have entered nursery at church, and get excited when you see us walk in the door. Is there anything sweeter, more beautiful than your smiling face than the times when I come home from an early morning farmer’s market run? I don’t think so. You unconditionally love every single thing about me, and that is a lot to live up to. One day you will realize how incredibly imperfect I am, and that will be hard to navigate. For now, I’m happy to be your mama, whatever it is you understand that to be.

I thought I could describe you best at this age with some of my favorite pictures from the past six months. Meal time is mess, but fun because you eat almost everything I put in front of you, and that brings me so much joy. I lavish so much attention and praise on you, trying to make sure you understand that eating vegetables and trying new flavors and textures is a wonderful thing. I want you to love and enjoy food the same way I do, and I think this begins when you are very young.

Your hair still hasn’t grown in evenly, and we’ve cut it several times so far. It grows fast, and you look cute both when it’s long, and when it’s short, so it works no matter what I think.

We visited your aunt in Utah, and then spent over a month living with grandma and grandpa in Washington. You were the center of attention everywhere we went, and I now understand why girls move back home to live near family. I want you to grow up the way I did, surrounded by grandmas and grandpas, and aunts and uncles, and cousins.

You haven’t shown a love for swimming yet, but you do love taking a bath. You run over to the bathroom door and point, letting me know you want me to open it so you can rush inside and start trying to climb into the tub.

You make this face for one very specific reason. Your dad and I find it hilarious.

You’re a rather adventurous little boy. At our family reunion there was a huge hill in the backyard, and it didn’t take you long to figure out you could move down it by tumbling around on your side. If we leave a chair pushed away from the dining room table, you love to climb up on the table to see what’s been hiding up there. Lately you started going into the bathroom, climbing up on the toilet, and then sitting down in the sink to play.

You still like to put things in your mouth, and when we were in Poland you couldn’t get enough of your grandpa’s backyard, filled with fruit trees. Last week I came home from the farmer’s market and you dug right through my bags until you found a pear, and took a huge bite.

In Poland you learned what the TV does, and how it can play Teletubbies. Oh no! I’m not sure I understand the appeal of that show, but you love ot run over to the TV and point to it until daddy turns it on for you. Mommy still shakes her head no and declares it unnecessary. In Poland you were extra spoiled, you even had your own little chair to watch in!

Sometimes I stroke your face and feel amazed that such a big personality can fit inside such a little body. I go back and forth between telling you that you’re a little baby, and letting you know that big boys don’t do naughty things like whatever you’ve just done. I suspect this is an enduring part of motherhood, thinking you’re so big one minute, and then finding you to be so young and small the next.

You know a few signs, though milk is the only one you use. So far the only word we’ve ever heard you use unprompted is shoes.

You LOVE to go outside, more than anything in the world. If I open the apartment door, you run out and try to convince me to take you to the elevators, because you know that’s how you get to the wonderful place with the grass and the trees.

You love to have me sing “itsy bitsy spider” (I admit you seem to like it best when I do it, which I love) and when I turn on the song Little Sack of Sugar you turn around to sit in my lap so we can jiggle jiggle jiggle tickle tickle tickle together.

Pushing things is another passion of yours. The shopping cart, the stroller, a little bird toy we brought back from Poland.

And there are plenty of tantrums. This day it was because I wouldn’t let you eat raw green onions (you were just taking a bite and then spitting them out, too wasteful!) and most of the time I just let you put yourself back together. As I write this, you are currently sleeping, down for an early nap because the tantrum that you started up just wouldn’t stop. Those are hard days.

This face? This look? I can’t get enough of it. If you can replicate this through your teen years the girls are going to be swooning.

Those blue eyes I wanted so badly? They’re still here, though I have no idea if that will last. If they turn brown I’ll love them just as much, as you’ll remind me of your father even more.

You have two favorite things. The iPhone (and device where you can swipe and use your iFinger), and your bottle. On the recommendation of the speech therapist we are currently in the process of eliminating your bottle and it’s pretty miserable. We’re going to get through this though, right?

Unfortunately you can be really aggressive with other kids around. So far all the other moms have been nice about it, and I think it’s really about how excited you are to spend time with them. Sometimes you grab at me or push me the same way you do with them, and because I don’t fall over or cry you get confused and think you can treat everyone that way.

Every night your dad and I climb into bed and recap the funny things you did that day. I can’t think of a single sunrise that has passed where I couldn’t recall something that made me smile, often doubling over with laughter as I tell your father the new hilarious thing you came up with. Wherever you go, you bring joy. I love that about you.

Thanks for being my little baby, my reminder of what’s important in life. I love watching your personality develop and the little ways you demonstrate how much you love us.

We love you, you tiny tempter-tantrum-throwing wiggly-worm.

The last few days have been crazy! I’m sorry I can’t respond to all of your comments, but I wanted to say thanks for all the support. Someone on Formspring wrote in that they thought I was brave for writing about the developmental delays, and that’s when Ir ealized how ridiculosu it is that someone should be considered “brave” for admitting something is wrong. Ewwww to all those who make it a trying experience for someone like me to admit their life isn’t Shiny Happy Hip. No wonder so many of the mommy bloggers never get into the hard stuff.

I wanted to post a reminder about the Hyde Park Cooking Club, because I’m holding the first meeting on Thursday night! Directions and meeting time can be found here. For the first one I’m going to show how I make a spinach shake, how easy kale chips are, and a carrot ginger soup that I made yesterday and absolutely loved. All you have to do is show up and you get to taste some of my favorite things to eat (kind of like Costco, except better for you). The blog has a link to the RSVP form which would be really helpful so I can determine portion sizes (remember I’m not feeding you a full meal, but I want to make sure everyone has a taste if they’d like!).

I also want to do some TWLC2 clarifying:

PICTURES ARE DUE ON SATURDAY. After that point I’m shutting down submissions and making no exceptions. Zero. Otherwise I get all lenient and nice and I feel like it’s only fair to pick a deadline and stick to it. You’ve had over a week to sign up and take pictures and I think that is enough time.

The cash prize for the cash pot winner (if I can collect all the money, which I plan to do before the challenge starts) will be just shy of $500. That is crazy awesome! If you haven’t pledged to put in your $10 yet, what’s holding you back? It’s so little to invest for such a big payoff if you win (you’ll be both thinner and richer, all for only $10 ). If you have already signed up for everything else and would not like to add in $10, just add the correct sentence as an additional comment.

If you would like to sign up DO NOT DO SO ON THIS POST. Please comment on the original TWLC2 post to do so.

I wanted to add a special TWLC2 Pregnancy Cash Prize category for those who are having babies during this round but would still like to have the motivation. To participate in the Google Doc and the private chat visit the original TWLC2 post to sign up with everyone else. To sign up for the post-partum cash prize category sign up using the exact phrase below.

I would like to enter $20 into the TWLC2 Pregnancy Category

I upped the price because I know there will be less of you, and more money means you’ll have more incentive to followw-through, and a bigger prize if you win. I don’t want to offer another portrait session for the pregnancy participants, but I did think of something. Anyone who pays $20 into the TWLC2 Pregnancy Category and loses more than 10% of their body weight will have no session fee with Jenna Cole AND be offered a discount on products equivalent to the percentage of weight lost*. So if you lose 10%, you get 10% off all products/images. If you lose 25%, you get 25% off! I know pregnancy weight loss is frustrating and I thought this might be a nice little nudge for you.

Per your comments, the winner will determined based on your starting weight at 4 weeks post-partum. Send me your scale+after pictures at that point, no matter what date it falls on during TWLC2, and then you’ll send me your after pictures in the beginning of April.

Make sense?

Edited To Add: I forgot I was going to clarify how this is going to work. Everything is due by the 15th (minus the pregnant lady info) and once I can get everything organized I’ll be sending out lots of emails. An email to those who want to join the Google Doc. An email for those who would like to participate in the bi-monthly chat. An email for those who I need to collect money from. I’m trying to get it all done quickly, but it’s a lot to manage. I’ll post on That Wife to let you know when all the emails have been sent out to make sure everyone who wanted to participate has received the appropriate information.

*Session is for individuals, couples, or immediate family only.

I’m so glad we still laugh together like this. We’re going to need it, as I expect life has some hard times ahead for us. With you, I know I can do anything.

Yet another year of choosing each other.

As I was composing this post in my head, I realized how lucky I’ve been. I had a complication free pregnancy, the birth I wanted, and so far relatively few instances of illness. We go to the doctor for shots, and that’s it. I like it that way. His pediatrician brought up his lack of speech back at 12 months, but after a hearing test she was satisfied and didn’t say anything until his last appointment. Right before we left for Europe she recommended us to a speech therapy program and let us know it would be a good idea to get him tested.

Today, four very nice women came over (one program coordinator, one speech therapist, one developmental therapist (is that the right term?) and one woman doing some shadowing) and spent about 2 hours with us, playing with T1, listening to me interacting with him, and asking me an astounding number of questions. Questions about things I’ve never even considered!

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In the past I’ve tried to live-blog my thoughts on General Conference, but this year I decided to write up a recap with video links and note my favorite talks. If you’re new to That Wife and haven’t read about General Conference before, I wrote up an explanatory post about it here. The following talks are those that really stuck with me after the conference was over.

As We Meet Again

Our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, stood up to say hello and announce new temples being built around the world. This is always my favorite part of conference! He shocked us all by announcing that the Provo Tabernacle (which recently burned down) would be rebuilt as a temple! If you watch the video, you can hear a collective gasp ripple throughout the crowd. No one expected this, but for anyone who has spent time living in that area it’s an exciting announcement, and another temple in that area is very needed. The existing Provo one is always very busy because of the high population of LDS college students in the area.

President Monson also announced temples to be built in Barranquilla, Colombia; Durban, South Africa; Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of the Congo; and Star Valley, Wyoming. Everyone laughed about the Whyoming temple, not because we aren’t excited, but because all of the other announced locations were so exotic. He also introduced us to the General Temple Patron Assistance Fund, a fund available to members around the world would who would like to visit the temple but don’t have the means to do so. Although we have 135 operating temples around the world, we still have hundreds of thousands (maybe millions!) of members who haven’t been able to go yet.

Children

This is a topic I feel the Church has’t addressed for awhile, the importance of having children. This topic is touchy, but I really liked this talk. It spoke to me personally because this is something I really struggle with. When should we have our next child, and how many should we have. How many does God want us to have? I imagine there are a lot of other couples/women/men throughout the Church struggling with this thought now as well. It’s uncomfortable to confront the reality that God might not care if I want to be able to go on vacation or photograph more or have more of whatever makes me feel (temporarily) happy. I really liked this BCC post on the talk, and in particular this comment from Chris:

I thought his talk was a potential minefield, but my impression was he is saying this:
1 Children are important, if you can you should start having them.
2 Others shouldn’t judge
3 Its between you and the Lord what you decide to do
4 But #3 doesnt mean you should decide to postpone, it just means no one but the Lord can judge you (ie. its up to you to disobey this commandment and the church won’t do anything about it and your neighbors/family/friends should keep it to themselves… but seemingly there are spiritual repercussions if your exceptions are truly not merited in the eyes of the Lord)

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think much attention was given to good reasons to not have kids. The only scenarios it seems the talk would suggest are health and infertility.

A lot of commenters bring up emotional readiness. I personally think this is a fairly new concept that the information age and all its over-analyzing has brought on, the idea that you can somehowbe “ready” for what parenthood brings. The majority of us are certainly mentally/emotionally/financially able, but are we willing? I’m still working through this one.

Love Her Mother

I often feel frustrated by the membership’s attitude for women speakers. On the one side, we have the feminists who want more female participation and representation. On the other we have a lot of men who just tune out whenever a woman is speaking (I know they do it, I’ve seen the look in their eyes). And then once the talk is over both sides rip it apart for not being what they thought it should have been! This talk was particularly interesting because it was a woman addressing men, something that I don’t think has been done before in a meeting like this. I loved the talk. Fathers can, and should, be involved in the raising of their daughters. The best way to help her see what kind of man she should want to spend the rest of her life with? Be a good husband. This is something my dad did for me, and I can see a lot of my father’s best qualities in That Husband.

The Importance of a Name

As a blogger striving to talk about the Church, this talk was fascinating to me. Elder Ballard breaks down the name The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and helps clarify how the term Mormon is to be used (this was mainly for the media’s sake I believe).

Every word is clarifying and indispensable. The word The indicates the unique position of the restored Church among the religions of the world.

The words Church of Jesus Christ declare that it is His Church. In the Book of Mormon, Jesus taught: “And how be it my church save it be called in my name? For if a church be called in Moses’ name then it be Moses’ church; or if it be called in the name of a man [like Mormon] then it be the church of a man; but if it be called in my name then it is my church, if it so be that they are built upon my gospel” (3 Nephi 27:8).

Of Latter-day explains that it is the same Church as the Church that Jesus Christ established during His mortal ministry but restored in these latter days. We know there was a falling away, or an apostasy, necessitating the Restoration of His true and complete Church in our time.

Saints means that its members follow Him and strive to do His will, keep His commandments, and prepare once again to live with Him and our Heavenly Father in the future. Saint simply refers to those who seek to make their lives holy by covenanting to follow Christ.

and

While Mormon is not the full and correct name of the Church, and even though it was originally given by our detractors during our early years of persecution, it has become an acceptable nickname when applied to members rather than the institution. We do not need to stop using the name Mormon when appropriate, but we should continue to give emphasis to the full and correct name of the Church itself. In other words, we should avoid and discourage the term “Mormon Church.”

Teaching After The Manner of the Spirit

It was one line in this talk that really spoke to me. Those who teach after the manner of the Spirit understand they teach people, not lessons.