22 Feb
The Temple: The Sealing
There is a song that every young child in the Church can sing for you if you ask:
“Familes can be together forever
Through Heavenly Father’s Plan
I always want to be
With my own family
And the Lord has show me how I can
The Lord, has shown me how I can”
I have previously discussed baptism and the endowment, and the last temple ordinance I will cover is the sealing. Sealings are done in two different settings in the temple. The sealing of couples at the time of marriage, and the sealing of families.
When I was sealed to That Husband on October 11, 2008, there was no mention of death. I did not hear the words “Till death do you part”. I only heard talk of eternity, and the opportunity to live with my husband forever if we kept the covenants we made that day.
I think that many of you wonder what a temple sealing is like. For most it is very difficult to comprehend being married in a place where some of those who we love most can’t be present. Being in the temple is the most beautiful experience I have ever had the privilege to undertake. That Husband’s parents weren’t able to attend our own sealing, but I know that neither of us regret choosing to be sealed in the temple. The entire experience was serene, hallowed, and glorious.
After changing into my mom’s wedding dress, I was led into a small room to meet That Husband. We met with the officiant who would be presiding over our sealing, and he spent a few minutes asking us questions and getting to know us. I waved at our family and friends as they walked by us on the way to the sealing room. When all of our friend and family had been seated, it was time.
We were led into a room that looks much like this one. An altar sits in the middle of the room, flanked by large mirrors on either side. These mirrors are included in every sealing room in all the temples around the world (to my knowledge). Setting the two mirrors across from each other creates a reflection in each that seems to go on forever (just like in the room with the baptismal font). It is a very visual reminder that the covenant of marriage we are about to enter into will last through death and on into eternity. You can see the effect quite clearly in this photo, with the chandelier repeating as far as the eye can see. It’s so beautiful in person.
We were seated on a love seat underneath one of the mirrors, both of us dressed completely in white. The officiant began, saying words very similar to these:
“Today is your wedding day. You are caught up in the emotion of your marriage. Temples were built as a sanctuary for such ordinances as this. We are not in the world. The things of the world do not apply here and should have no influence upon what we do here. We have come out of the world into the temple of the Lord. This becomes the most important day of your lives.
“You were born, invited to earth, by parents who prepared a mortal tabernacle for your spirit to inhabit. Each of you has been baptized. Baptism, a sacred ordinance, is symbolic of a cleansing, symbolic of death and resurrection, symbolic of coming forward in a newness of life. It contemplates repentance and a remission of sins. The sacrament of the Lord’s Supper is a renewal of the covenant of baptism, and we can, if we live for it, retain a remission of our sins.
“You, the groom, were ordained to the priesthood. You had first conferred upon you the Aaronic Priesthood and probably have progressed through all the offices thereof—deacon, teacher, and priest. Then the day came when you were found worthy to receive the Melchizedek Priesthood. That priesthood, the higher priesthood, is defined as the priesthood after the holiest order of God, or the Holy Priesthood after the Order of the Son of God (see Alma 13:18; Hel. 8:18; D&C 107:2–4). You were given an office in the priesthood. You are now an elder.
“Each of you has received your endowment. In that endowment you received an investment of eternal potential. But all of these things, in one sense, were preliminary and preparatory to your coming to the altar to be sealed as husband and wife for time and for all eternity. You now become a family, free to act in the creation of life, to have the opportunity through devotion and sacrifice to bring children into the world and to raise them and foster them safely through their mortal existence; to see them come one day, as you have come, to participate in these sacred temple ordinances.
“You come willingly and have been judged to be worthy. To accept one another in the marriage covenant is a great responsibility, one that carries with it blessings without measure.” Source
After hearing these words, That Husband and I were invited forward, where we were sealed together for time and all eternity. Our officiant, a priesthood holder who has the authority delegated to him directly by the Prophet of the Church, is one of very few men granted the power to seal. It is a sacred responsibility because we believe that whatever is sealed on earth is also sealed in heaven.
“Whenever the fulness of the gospel is on earth, the Lord has agents to whom he gives power to bind on earth and seal eternally in the heavens. (Matthew 16:19; 18:18; Helaman 10:3–10; D&C 132:46–49.) . . .
Because we have been sealed, That Husband and I won’t be separated after death. If we are both righteous, we will one day have the opportunity to be exalted and be like God. We work every single day for this.
As I mentioned, there is one other type of setting for those who are sealed, and that is the sealing of families.
Here is my cousin and his wife, on the day they were sealed to the baby boy they adopted. They are dressed in the white temple clothes they wore for the sealing ordinance that day.
The circumstances in which a family might be sealed vary greatly. One occasion might be because the family is baptized into the church. In the case of my cousins it was because they adopted their baby. This sealing ordinance is so important because it provides families with the reassurance that upon their faithfulness they can see and be together beyond the grave. Because my parents were sealed at marriage, all of their natural born children did not need to go inside the temple and be sealed to them. Unless That Husband and I adopt, our natural born children will be automatically sealed to us as well.
Through the ordinance work done by proxy in the temple, all who have ever lived have the opportunity to accept the sealing ordinance in their own lives. All mankind, from Adam our first father, down to the last soul born into mortality will have the opportunity to choose to be sealed to their family.
As many of you know, I have a little brother named Drake. He passed away 16 years ago this January after only living for a few minutes. As you can imagine, this was a very difficult thing for my family to go through. Because of the sealing power, because of the temple, we are able to celebrate him and his short life each year, not his death. I know without a doubt that I will see my brother again one day. We’ll hug, he will scold me for my rebellious years in high school, and hopefully he will end by telling me he is proud of what I accomplished by living on the earth. I feel so happy when I think that my own children will be sealed to me because of the decision I made to be married in the temple. I know I will be with my family in the life to come.
I'm a farm-raised almost-crunchy stroller-pushing picture-taking lifestyle-blog-writing gastronomy-obsessed divine-seeking thrift-store-combing cheese-inhaling pavement-pounding laughter-sprinkling lover of individuality and taking chances.
I’m not Mormon but I find the idea of being together with your family throughout eternity a lovely and comforting thought!
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1Thank you for the post Jenna - it was truly lovely! I find the belief in eternity to be one of the most beautiful things about the LDS religion. My husband (who was raised LDS) and I were married by a Methodist pastor, and the most important part of our wedding ceremony included the use of the term “Now and Forever” and not “till death do us part” or “as long as we both shall live”. It was important to our Pastor as well as us to emphasize this. Here’s what we basically said to each other:
“I, (name) take you, (name), to be my husband/wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish, for Now and Forever.
This is my Solemn Vow.”
I love this part so much! Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience with us Jenna!
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2this is was so beautiful. i love that you wrote this and always talk so openly about our faith.
i don’t think there is anything more special or sacred than eternal marriage and families.
happy sunday!
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3What if a person comes from an abusive family, or has an abusive family member? Are the other members bound to that person for eternity or is the abuse likely to mean that person is not going to make it to the same place as the others in the afterlife? As I understand there are levels, does the whole family necessarily go to the same place? Or is it that the family has the potential to spend eternity together, assuming they are all worthy. Thanks for sharing, I enjoy learning about your faith!
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Katy Reply:
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:47 am
Your second assumption about the abusive family member is basically correct - - if someone violates those covenants they made to God and to each other (especially through something so terrible as abuse), then the sealing has no effect with that family member. Being sealed together isn’t a binding contract no matter what you do on this earth - - it’s conditional on your faithfulness to God and to your spouse/family.
I have many people in my family that were at one time sealed to their spouse and/or family, but have failed to keep their covenants (at least at the present time). In fact, my sister and I were sealed to my parents when I was very young. Now they are divorced and one of my parents is certainly not even living up to his baptismal covenants much less those marriage covenants. So where does that leave me??? Well, I have faith that those particulars will be taken care of by God - who knows me, who knows my family and parents, and knows are unique family dynamics.
But what I DO KNOW is that I have been married and sealed in the temple to my husband and have made my own endowment covenants and will do all that I can to help my husband and I, and our little family, to stay together forever. I can’t control what others do and I won’t decide what exactly happens with those that I love, but I do know that I can do my best, help my family the best I can, and leave the rest for God to mediate.
(Hope that helps a tiny bit!)
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Jessica Reply:
February 22nd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Thank you, I appreciate your answer and honesty in sharing about your life.
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Jenna Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Just wanted to chime in and say Katy did a wonderful job answering this.
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That post was very touching. Im sorry about your brother, but I am glad that we know you can be with him again.
And…I would love to be one of your featured brides. I designed my own dress, so thanks for thinking it was pretty!
. Email me:
staceysargent1@gmail.com
stacey
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5One thing that kind of made me go “hmmm, wait a minute” about the sealing was when I learned that men can be sealed to more than one wife, but women can only be sealed to one man. For example, a man is sealed to his wife, she dies, and then he remarries and is sealed to his second wife. When they die, they’re all up in heaven, and of course he’s not going to ditch the first wife, and he has loved the second wife, and they have to be sealed to become like God…so there is polygamy in heaven.
I think for me the idea of polygamy in heaven, or the idea that men are still sealed to more than one woman (albeit not at the same time) is a little disconcerting. If we’re talking perfect situation, it’s beautiful and romantic that two people are together forever. But when you start thinking about more than one woman sealed to one man… it just makes me uncomfortable. I’d be interested to know your opinion on this.
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Jenna Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I’ve been thinking about this a lot and this is one of the few times where I have to say that I don’t have a good answer for you.
My personal take is that God is fair, just, all knowing, all powerful, and that the loves and respects women. He wouldn’t force us into an eternal situation that would be miserable.
I started thinking about things like Job (why would God test Job if God knows Job better than himself?) and the law of Moses (why would God institute a law with so many rules that seem so ridiculous?) and the conclusion I came to is that sometimes our faith is tested just because God wants to test our faith. He knows that he can give us a great reward if we endure and so he gives us tests so we can prove ourselves.
The thing I hold on to personally as a woman? As far as we know, we have one Heavenly Father and one Heavenly Mother. I think my relationship with That Husband can be just like theirs someday.
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kaitlyn Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Heavenly Mother? Now there’s something I’d love to see another Sunday post on.
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Sophia Reply:
February 24th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Heavenly Mother is one of my favorite Mormon doctrines- I look forward to you discussing it too Jenna
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What does “being with family” mean in practical terms? I imagine that if you are sealed to your parents, and they to their parents and siblings on both sides etc. etc. then in theory every faithful person could be sealed together as one extended family?
Also, how does your church interpret Matthew 22 where traditional/apostate (depending on your perspective
) Christians have understood Jesus to indicate that marriage is a temporal state? Is this one of the areas where you think that the translation/preservation is faulty?
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Jenna Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:36 pm
R, you hit on the exact same thing that I realized a few years ago! If you are talking the ultimate situation that TH and I are striving for (which is exaltation and eternal progression and posterity), you are right, we won’t be with anyone except the two of us. I think in earthly terms it is a lot about peace of mind and setting an example for your children.
Parents who lose a child, or adopt a child, know that the child is part of their eternal family no matter what. (Children under the age are not accountable for their sins and are automatically granted the highest reward in heaven).
The other reason why I think being sealed is so important, is that it sets an example for your children. One thing I hear very frequently from non-members is how much they admire the LDS family unit, and their wonderment at how “good” LDS kids usually are. This is because children are taught from birth. If a child is taught from the moment he is born that being sealed is important, and that his parents value that ordinance above all else, he will be more likely to seek it out in his own life as well.
There are parts in heaven where people are not allowed to “roam freely” and visit their family. That is another reward for the righteous, and where the sealing comes in.
As far as your second question, I have a post coming up about that! I’ll leave you with this:
From Bruce R. McConkie
Those given in marriage on earth without the proper authority, will not be married in heaven. The key to eternal marriage is having the power of God to seal both on earth and in heaven.
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R Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Thanks for your explanations. The first one makes a lot of sense, and I’ll wait for your post to make sure that I’m really following you on the second.
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While I don’t agree with the reason for them, I do find many of the LDS ideas/principles to be inspiring! I find the emphasis on family to be wonderful
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8Interesting. I am reading this and thinking “sealing” equates to dedicating your lives and futures within faith or being blessed. I really liked this post.
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9Does the LDS church forbid re-marriage after a spouse dies? Thanks for sharing this with us!
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Jenna Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:39 pm
This is a very common misconception! I need to write a post on it someday, but there are so many different unique situations that it is difficult to explain.
As far as civil marriages go, a person can marry inifinitely if they would like.
It is only when you want to be sealed that some restrictions can apply. A man can be sealed multiple times, and a woman can be sealed once.
So if TH dies (such a sad thought!), I can remarry civilly. It is only the sealing that I wouldn’t be able to do again.
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Kristin Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:13 pm
I hate to jump ahead of you, as I hope that you will cover re-marriage in another post. Should you remarry civilly, will the church recognize the marriage? I know in some churches you must be married in the church for it to be recognized. Would a second marriage, though not sealed, be recognized by the church in some manner?
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Jenna Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:31 pm
You are the one who asked the original question, aren’t you Kristin? I emailed a BYU professor about it and he sent me one of the longest emails I have ever received full of quotations.
The Church recognizes all legal and lawful marriages, wherever they are performed.
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Kristin Reply:
February 24th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Yes, that was me.
Thanks for your response. I have really really enjoyed learning more and more each week.
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Families Can Be Together Forever was the first hymn I learned and it is still my favorite. I think that the sealing may be my favorite thing about the Church. What a comforting and beautiful promise to be part of!
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11Jenna, you mention your goal to become “like gods,” I was wondering if you could elaborate on this. I have read from multiple sources that a sealed husband and wife will become “like gods” on their own planet in the afterlife, and that God was actually a mortal human being at one point, and became a god. Is this misinformation or is this a legitimate LDS belief? I thought of this upon your mention of becoming “like gods.”
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Jenna Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I’m going to write a post on this either this Sunday or next Sunday! It’s a pretty huge topic to cover in a comment, so I’ll just ask you to be patient for a little while.
But yes, you have the right idea in the things you have heard.
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Stacy Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:29 pm
I look forward to it, thanks Jenna!
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I’ve always loved the idea of being married for eternity, even though I don’t believe that we are assured of this. I’ve always wondered what happens with divorce and remarriage? Is there a set answer?
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Jenna Reply:
February 24th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
It depends on what kind of divorce. If you are only divorced civilly, you are still sealed.
Getting a temple divorce is a very long process in most cases. You have to apply directly to the first presidency of the Church, and with 11 million members and a 40% or so divorce rate, you can imagine that they have a lot of requests to deal with. Once you have a temple divorce you are free to remarry and be sealed to a different person.
If you get divorced civilly, get remarried, but don’t apply for a temple divorce, you are still sealed to the first husband.
Usually the most important thing to remember is that God is a fair, just, loving God. He’s not going to leave all of these couples in limbo because of difficult situations and such. There are so many ways that sealing can get really complicated, and I’m glad I’m not going to be the one in charge of figuring it out.
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Rebekah Reply:
February 25th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
So it’s a lot like the Catholic church with church vs. civil divorces/annulments? Thanks for the clarification!
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Angela Reply:
March 19th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Yes, except there is no such thing as a civil annulment.
A divorce is not recognized in the eyes of the Church, so if you get re-married/date/etc., you are committing the mortal sin of adultery.
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i’m sort of confused about what you said about “Through the ordinance work done by proxy in the temple, all who have ever lived have the opportunity to accept the sealing ordinance in their own lives. All mankind, from Adam our first father, down to the last soul born into mortality will have the opportunity to choose to be sealed to their family.”
I thought in the Plan of Salvation post you said something about people who accept the gospel after death will live in heaven but as singly, or something to that effect.
And reading the Bruce McConkie quote too, I’m pretty confused, any more insight?
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14A beautiful post, Jenna. A truth that provides a great amount of peace and comfort through this life.
What a happy day that was! One of the best of my life. I can’t wait to go to the temple with our new little girl!
P.S. That’s one of Renny’s favorite Primary songs. He calls it “Families and carefully” because the 2nd verse says, “While I am in my early years I’ll prepare most carefully.”
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15Just to clarify, other Christians do not believe that we will be separated after death.
The belief is that, in Heaven, you will be perfectly happy. Therefore, having your husband and children there will not be a necessity to you, when you are in the direct presence of God. That is not to say that they won’t be there, they certainly will, and if they are what completes your life then they will be there with you in Heaven. The main belief is that, in Heaven, there is no necessity for marriage and other worldly sacraments because you are with God.
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16Hi, I was wondering if I may use the picture of your cousin and spouse being sealed to their adopted baby boy on my Facebook page “Preach my Gospel”? The quote that I would add to it is, “Strive to find and teach families—a father, mother, and children—who can support one another in living the gospel and eventually be sealed as a family unit by restored priesthood authority.” (Preach my Gospel, pg. 3)
I would need the parents’ permission.
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Jenna Reply:
April 27th, 2013 at 8:48 pm
I don’t think that is going to work. Sorry!
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Terri Reply:
April 28th, 2013 at 10:47 am
Thank you for letting me know.
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